by Maren Smith
I hadn’t realized how often I really had been “acting” in situations where being a grown-up hadn’t come naturally until it wasn’t necessary anymore.
“I think that’s great.” Dean’s smile was relaxed and it didn’t seem to weird him out, so I continued.
“It was kind of odd to think about at the beginning, but we’ve been talking and we’re going to keep exploring it.” I thought that could honestly be the end of the conversation, but I was wrong again.
“What about diapers? Have you guys talked about that or is it not right for your age?” He acted like those questions should be easy to answer.
“Um, those haven’t been brought up yet and I think I’m still figuring out the age thing.” I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to know how old my Little side was.
“I know some people whose Little age varies, but yeah, I can see you being older with the coloring and paints and the cartoons that you like.” Dean’s tone made it seem like we were still discussing the bugs in the movie.
“Ages vary?” Had I read that somewhere?
“Yeah, like sometimes you’re older and the paints and things like board games might feel right and other times it’s diapers and binkies and stuff like that.” Again, he was giving me a look like it was just a normal conversation and this was something I should’ve already figured out.
Gordon hadn’t really pushed to explore anything younger, but from the way he talked about Daddies and Littles and all the odd stuff he’d come home with lately, he might want to test it out. “So I’m supposed to try out different things and see what age stuff feels right?”
Nodding, Dean smiled. “Yeah, from the people I know and the books I've read, you have to figure shit out. Some stuff you might know just from the things you already like, such as the cartoons and the food you enjoy. But other things you probably haven’t ever thought about.”
Like diapers and binkies.
“Oh.” I wasn’t going to commit to trying it out, but it was something I’d have to talk about with Gordon.
Remembering his last question, I shook my head. “And we’re not planning on turning the guest room into a playroom. I don’t have that many things.”
Besides, the few new toys I’d gotten fit in with the rest of the stuff I had around the house, so I didn’t think anyone would notice. If someone came over, the only things I’d really want to hide would be my pictures in the kitchen.
“Makes sense.” Dean shifted so he was back to focusing on the movie again. “But having a spot in the house that was always your Little space might be nice. Like a place for a small pillow fort or just blankets and pillows in a corner making it just for you when you want to relax and be Little.”
Interesting.
So far, if I wanted to be Little or if it sounded like it might be fun at the moment, I’d tell Gordon, but having a space where I could just be Little if I wanted would be nice. “I still don’t think I need a room but a corner or something like that might be a good idea.”
Dean gave a casual shrug, but it soon became clear he’d already been thinking it through. “What about that weird extra closet in your living room? That could be a great Little space.”
Gordon had bought the house years ago. It was an older home that had been remodeled several times and those renovations hadn’t always been well thought out. The people that owned it before Gordon had the mindset that any odd space should be turned into a closet, so while rooms looked like they were modern squares and rectangles, most had strange closets or bookshelves covering up the awkward spaces.
I thought they were fun and we had several closets with nothing in them. Gordon kept saying he was going to turn the one in the living room into some kind of wet bar or library space, but so far, it’d all been just talk.
“That could work.” The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. “I’ll talk to Gordon about it. I think we’ll have time next weekend to go shopping for some pillows for it.”
This weekend was full up with being Little tomorrow, a bit of work, and then dinner with Sawyer and his partners. After Gordon and I had agreed that he could talk to Sawyer about my being Little, he’d given in and we’d made dinner plans.
I was trying not to be too excited because I wanted them to see that I was mature and relaxed about the whole thing, but it was hard. Gordon said knowing we were working our way through age play and BDSM made Sawyer feel more comfortable. Gordon thought part of it was how separate Sawyer tried to keep his private and work life.
I knew Gordon appreciated that to a degree because it made his life easier, but I thought it was kind of frustrating. But then again, my work was totally different than most people’s.
Dean’s chuckle made me realize how lost in thought I’d become. I looked toward the movie, then away again as something jumped out at the characters. “What?”
“Let’s go buy some pillows and stuff now.” He pointed to the TV. “You’re not even watching this. We’ll go set up your room instead.”
That sounded…
“Is that supposed to be part of our friendship now? I’m not sure about the rules with this kind of stuff and I don’t want things to get weird.” Then I waved toward the TV. “And you were excited about this one.”
He grinned, shaking his head. “You haven’t watched more than five minutes of this. And who cares what we’re supposed to do as friends. We’ll still be hanging out. It’s just going to be doing something else besides watching movies or going out to eat.”
Dean was more outgoing than I was, but he’d always taken pity on me and picked things where we could just relax. Occasionally we’d do something like laser tag or go to a bar in the evening, but those were things he usually did with other people.
“You sure?” Then I gestured toward the TV. “And I’ve watched more than five minutes. There’s just a lot of bugs and jump scares in this movie.”
He was fighting the urge to laugh and doing badly at it. “Come on. Text your Daddy we’re going shopping and then we’ll head out.”
Groaning, I pulled out my phone. “Don’t call him that.”
He giggled. “Or what? You’re going to tell your Daddy on me? Maybe he’ll spank me for being naughty.”
“Nope. If anyone is getting spanked, it's me.” I felt my face heating as he laughed and started slipping on his shoes.
“I knew we’d find your kinky side eventually.” Dean grinned. “It just needed some paints and dinosaur nuggets to find its way out.”
Chapter Eight
Gordon
Giggles coming from the closet had me fighting the urge to check on the two impulsive friends, but since it was their project, I told myself for the third time that I wasn’t going to interfere. It was a bit odd watching Loren inch closer into his Little persona with someone else, but I was glad he’d decided to open up to Dean.
When they hung out, it was usually just the two of them. I knew that some people thought it was odd that they did stuff without me, but I wanted to make sure I didn’t take over his life completely. He was too sweet, so I’d realized right away that if I wasn’t careful, I’d unintentionally isolate him.
But as I listened to the giggles and the occasional comments about where things should go, I was glad their friendship was still strong. Of course, I’d gotten some odd looks from Dean when they’d first come in, but since he’d seemed to approve of Loren being Little, I had a feeling he was wondering how I was going to react to him knowing of the change in our relationship.
When I just laughed and helped them haul in the loads of pillows and secret decorating things that Loren had wanted to surprise me with, Dean had relaxed again.
The pillows had made me think that it would be an easy project and that they’d be done in a few minutes, but when twenty had passed and they’d still been negotiating the placement of something, I knew it was going to take a while.
So, I’d made cookies to pass the time.
And judging by the smell, they were almo
st done.
I knew there was no way Loren would be able to resist fresh, hot chocolate chip cookies, so I headed back into the kitchen to finish getting his snack ready. If it had been just the two of us, I’d have gotten out a sippy cup or something cute, but I wasn’t sure how much of his Little side he was planning on sharing with Dean.
Abstract discussions were one thing, but sippy cups were another. Their project on the closet was an indication that he was at least somewhat open to the idea, but I had a feeling it was Dean’s plan, so it really wasn’t much help.
Within seconds of the cookies coming out of the oven, I heard feet heading in my direction. Heads popped around the doorway, making me laugh. “Are you almost done or are you just in here begging for more junk food?”
Loren couldn’t seem to decide how to answer, but Dean just laughed, poking him. “Your Daddy’s got your number.”
Rolling his eyes, Loren poked Dean back. “Be nice.”
Trying not to laugh, I pointed to the tray. “It’s going to be at least five minutes before these are anywhere near cool enough to eat. Why don’t you finish up what you’re working on and I’ll let you know when they’re ready?”
“But still warm, right?” Loren was watching the cookies like they’d escape if he so much as glanced away.
“Yes, still warm.” He bounced over and gave me a quick hug and kiss before dashing back to the doorway.
“Hurry so we can show Daddy.” I wasn’t sure if it was because Dean had already broken the ice, but there was nothing but excitement in his voice as he dragged Dean back into the living room.
Dean was just laughing, clearly finding the whole thing highly entertaining. Loren hadn’t seemed to connect the dots with Dean’s comments yet, but anyone who was this comfortable with the lifestyle was probably not vanilla.
I’d let Loren figure that out for himself, though.
At the very least, Dean would push the subject when he was ready.
In minutes, two eager faces were back at the kitchen door, but luckily, the cookies had cooled enough that they wouldn’t burn their mouths. The last time I’d made cookies, Loren had snuck one too early and had given himself a bad burn.
“Are they ready?” Loren saw me nod and proceeded to drag Dean into the kitchen. “Great. Cookies first and then we’ll show you my room.”
“Sounds good.” Giving him a quick peck before heading over to the fridge, I glanced back. “Milk, water, soda?”
Loren winced when I got to soda which had Dean laughing. “Coke is not for cookies.”
Since I happened to agree, I grabbed the milk. “I know what you want. Dean?”
He nodded. “Milk is really the only option.”
Loren’s enthusiastic nod had me chuckling as he said, “I’ll grab the glasses.”
As he headed over to the cabinet, Dean and I were both watching to see what he’d choose. I raised one eyebrow which just had him shrugging. He really didn’t seem to have any hesitation with Loren’s Little side. Yeah, I had questions, but it wasn’t the time to start asking them.
Loren’s hands hovered over the sippy cups in the cabinet before he settled on three small regular glasses. It wasn’t unexpected, but I was surprised at how seriously he’d thought about grabbing a sippy cup for himself.
With the cup debate handled, milk was poured and we started eating. It was a bit late in the afternoon for a snack, but Loren was clearly enjoying himself, so I wasn’t going to feel guilty about it. As the plate cleared and Loren finished his milk, I took that as a sign he was done.
Dean had just been nibbling and slowly drinking some of his milk, so I was fairly sure he could be done at any moment. Looking back and forth between them, I smiled. “Ready?”
“Yes.” Loren quickly stood and started clearing the table.
His excitement was contagious because he had Dean and me both hurrying after him. In seconds, the kitchen was clean again and he was now dragging me out to the living room. “You’re going to love it.”
I was more focused on him loving it, but again, his excitement spread through us all. “I can’t wait to see what you’ve done.”
I wasn’t a packrat, so even with Loren’s stuff when he moved in there were several empty random closets around the house. He’d always thought the rooms were fun, but I’d hoped to find a good use for some of them. A room for an excited Little was one of the best uses I could think of, though.
As he led me over to the corner of the room where the odd closet hid the strange shape of this part of the house, I peeked in and started to smile even wider. “It’s perfect.”
They’d spread a brightly colored blanket on the floor, covering up the plain beige carpet, and then had layered the floor with pillows. Some were new, but I recognized a few from other parts of the house. Fairy lights around the ceiling and sticker decals of dragons and animals and fairies that were spread out all over the walls completed the look.
“It’s wonderful.” Pulling Loren into my arms so his back was pressed against my chest, I kissed his cheek. “And it’s the perfect place for Boris to hang out too.”
Loren’s head bounced up and down. “Yes, when we saw the stickers, Dean said it would be perfect for Boris.”
I glanced back to see Dean leaning against the couch. He grinned, shrugging again like it was a conversation he had all the time. I squeezed Loren tighter. “You guys did a good job.”
“And did you see? I can put my books or my coloring books there.” He pointed to a low spot on the wall at the back of the room. “Look.”
Tucked in by the pillows were several low magazine holder type shelves that were attached to the wall. They were normally something I’d seen people use as mail slots or for magazines in doctors' offices, but they would work perfectly for his books.
“That’s a great idea.” I looked back at Dean who simply smiled again.
“Yeah, Dean had lots of good ideas.” Again, Loren wasn’t connecting the dots on that one at all.
“Well, you guys put together a fabulous room.” Giving him another hug, I kissed his cheek before looking back at Dean. “You had a great idea, thanks.”
“No problem. Every Little should have a special place.” He kept playing it off like it was simple, but I had a feeling there were a lot of things that he and Loren hadn’t talked about.
“It’s perfect.” Loren was still focused on the room, not what Dean was trying to say… whatever that might have been. “Dean, come on, you have to try it too.”
As we piled into the small room, curling up on his pillows and blanket, he gave Dean a hug. “Thank you for understanding and helping me.”
“Any time.” Dean returned his hug before settling back into the pillows. “I’ll take repayment of my time in pictures and drawings.”
Friendships sometimes took strange turns, but I was just glad this hadn’t come between them.
“But I’m really not tired.” The yawn that Loren tried to hide said otherwise.
“I think you are.” I chuckled and grabbed him around the waist as he tried to sneak by me. “But what was the deal?”
He groaned and gave me a cute pout. “But Daddy, I’m not tired.”
Oh, Daddy, was I?
“The deal was, since you seem to have forgotten, that if you stayed up late watching movies with Dean, you’d take a nap this afternoon.” He could’ve just slept in this morning, but no, he’d been dead set on getting up early to work on a new project.
Before he could even aim his cute pout at me again, I shook my head. “How about I make you a deal?”
Leaning into me, he cocked his head. “What kind of deal?”
Chuckling because my little manipulator was so cute, I hugged him tighter. “How about you can take a nap in your playroom?”
“Hmmm.” He made a point of drawing it out as he snuggled into me. “How about you cuddle me as I fall asleep and I get a drink… like maybe from a bottle?”
That was a negotiation tactic I hadn’t expected
. “Deal. I happen to have one in the kitchen.”
Giving him a kiss as he giggled, I gently relaxed my grip on him. “Go to the bathroom first while I get your bottle.”
He blushed but nodded and bounced off toward the bathroom. “Potty first. Got it. I knew you’d have one, Daddy.”
Yep, Little and tired, so the best place for a nap was the playroom. With all the pillows on the floor, and what had turned out to be several blankets covering the carpet, it was actually a comfortable place to relax.
As he headed into the bathroom, I went into the kitchen and grabbed the bottle from the cabinet where we put the plasticware and storage containers. I hadn’t been hiding it, but I wasn’t going to just have it randomly show up in the cabinet with the cups where he might think he had to use it.
When the milk was ready, I headed back toward the little playroom he’d made. Yep, curled up on the pillows were Loren and Boris. Loren was barely keeping his eyes open as he held Boris in a tight grip. “All ready, Daddy.”
Another yawn cut off anything else he wanted to say, so I stretched out beside him and propped up against the wall. He scooted over and turned so he was lying across my chest. As he nuzzled into me, he closed his eyes. “Dean talked about bottles and diapers yesterday.”
They’d talked about all kinds of things.
I had a feeling they could have come home with a lot more than just pillows and decals if they’d shopped for much longer. “How did that conversation go?”
Loren shrugged. “He thinks I should try all kinds of things to see if I like them.”
Logical.
“Like the bottle?”
He nodded again. “You bought all kinds of stuff, so I knew you’d have one.”
I chuckled, setting the bottle down so I could stroke his back. “I wanted to have anything you might want to explore, but I didn’t want to rush you.”