by Maren Smith
“I was woman enough for you to keep fucking me.” The fire in her eyes could set the room ablaze.
“I never just fucked you, Brianna. That is a nasty word coming out of your mouth and I don’t like hearing it,” he scolded. “We—”
“Don’t you dare say we made love,” she interrupted with a giggle.
“I’m not sure what to call what we did that first time anything more than clumsy exploration.” He chuckled thinking back to the night they lost their virginity together. “But after that, we had a healthy sex life, a good balance of all the things.” Her eyes softened some.
“What are we doing, Max? Really? What is it that you want? When this is all said and done and we are back in the States? Then what? You go back to your job in the military and I travel around the world with my job as a doctor. It wouldn’t work.”
“We would have to make some sacrifices, some changes, but we could make it work.”
“By we, you mean, me. I would have to make them,” Brianna challenged.
“If you were willing to give up your Doctors Without Countries gig and work stateside it would make things easier for us. You know, I’m at a place in my career where I can stay put in one home base location, Bee. I own my house. You could make a home with me, get a job as a doctor locally or hell, start your own clinic.”
“We haven’t seen each other in years. How do you know that you still want to be with me? I am not the same girl I once was, Max. You might not like who I am now.”
“I promise you, that isn’t the case. I’ve seen exactly who you are, Bee. You are still you. Motivated, intelligent, feisty and competitive as hell. You haven’t changed that much. You are still my little bumble bee at heart. Some things, not even time can change.”
“You are so sure about all of this.”
“More sure than I have been about anything in my life. I’ve wanted to marry you since we were twelve, Bee. I’ve spent too many years beating myself up for leaving that night, even if you were the one who told me to leave.”
“I regretted telling you to leave, but it was the right thing to do.”
“Why? What made it the right thing to do?”
“You were reenlisting in the Navy and I was headed off to medical school. It wouldn’t have worked between us.”
“It could have! You made that decision before we tried. You quit on us and you did it without giving me a say.”
“The four years of college with us trying was hard. I knew I was holding you back, Max. I was keeping you from finding a girl to marry who would understand your military lifestyle. You deserved more than me, better than me. I’ve always been below you.”
“Stop! Stop talking badly about yourself. There isn’t another woman alive who completes me like you do. That night gutted me. I lost a part of my soul when you told me to leave and never come back, Bee.”
“Then why didn’t you? Why didn’t you come back? It was so easy for you to leave me. I’m easy for everyone to leave and forget about.”
The melancholy sadness in Brianna’s voice broke Max’s heart. It wasn’t easy for him to walk away from her. It was the hardest damn thing he had ever done. “Damnit, Bee, you don’t know. I wanted to turn my truck around and come back to you. I pulled over, more than once, on my way out of town. Truth be told, I died a little inside when I hit the city limits. Never in my life have I regretted anything as much as I have driving away that night and letting you make that decision for us. It was the wrong fucking decision and we both know it. I’ve spent a decade without you in my life, and I am not willing to spend another one.”
Max had always gone after what he had wanted. Always. Except this one time. The one time it had mattered the most and he had spent the past decade regretting it. She had wanted more out of life than to follow a military man around the world. Base to base, waiting for him. She had goals, dreams and aspirations. He didn’t want to limit her. He hadn’t realized until he had been in for a few years that there were many military wives with careers.
“What? Don’t I get a say in any of this?”
“Yes, Bee. You get a say in this. But, if you think I am going to let you walk out of my life when this is all over, you’ve got another thing coming.” Max had hated himself for making that decision all those years ago. He had dated, he had tried to love again, but you can’t force a connection where one doesn’t exist. Every girl he was with after her just served as a reminder of what he had once and what he could never have again. Until he received this mission. Fate had been smiling down upon him. He was going to get his girl and this time, he wouldn’t walk away.
“Oh? You going to become my stalker?” There was laughter in her eyes.
“No, little girl, I’m going to be your daddy.”
“Max, I…” The flush was rising up her face.
“You what?”
“I’ve thought about us, what we had, so many times over the years. I’ve thought about our dynamic. I’ve thought about the structure you gave me, even when you weren’t physically there. The rules, the discipline and the rewards,” she paused for a moment and Max couldn’t help but notice the flush spreading up her face.
“Rewards for good girls are always better than punishments,” he said, remembering the orgasms he brought her to with his mouth, the memory hardening his cock. He shifted, hoping she didn’t notice.
“I missed it. Normal vanilla relationships just felt…” she paused, as if she was searching for the right word, “wrong, like something was missing. I don’t understand why I feel this way. I am a strong, educated, independent woman. Successful. Brave. Why would I crave having a bedtime like a little girl or checking in with a man before I went to bed at night?”
“There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, Bumble.”
“Yes! Yes, there is! What woman in the twenty-first century allows herself to be spanked?” The last word came out as a whisper. She shoved against his rock-hard chest, getting nowhere, as his arms just tightened harder around her. “What grown ass woman is happiest when she is coloring, snuggling with a stuffed bear, a stuffed bear she has named, and needs to be able to fall asleep at night? What kind of grown woman calls her man Daddy? A fucked-up woman, that is who.”
“That is quite enough of that, little girl!” Max’s firm voice came out. “There is nothing wrong with you or your desires, wants or needs. I am not going to allow you to kink shame yourself or to kink shame us. There are thousands, if not millions, of couples like us around the country, around the world. I know several military spouses who identify as submissive and bottoms. Strong, brave and independent functioning adults. There is nothing wrong with allowing yourself to be free, authentic and happy. I can introduce you to others who live similar lifestyles. If it makes you happy and it isn’t hurting anyone else, why does it matter? You don’t have to go screaming it from the mountaintops unless you feel comfortable doing so. There are no rules that state you can’t be a strong, independent working woman outside of the home and an adorable, feisty little girl with an adoring daddy inside of it.”
“I…” She stood up quickly and started to rush from the room.
“Stop.” He was tired of chasing her, tired of telling her to stop. For a self-proclaimed brave woman, she kept trying to run, scared, from this conversation.
Chapter Four
Brianna was conflicted. Her heart was wanting to turn and submit to him, her body was aroused, her panties wet. She was wanting with desire but her brain was telling her to run. She didn’t know if she could handle the heartbreak that came with breaking up with him a second time, and she wasn’t sure they could make their lifestyles work. They were too different, they lived in different worlds.
“Stop.”
The one word order was so quiet she barely heard it.
“Don’t you dare take another step, Brianna. This conversation isn’t over yet. Don’t run from us.”
Or what?
She didn’t speak the words out loud but she felt them reverber
ate inside of her. Or what?
What do you want to happen?
I don’t know.
Liar.
She felt him close the distance between them. He was standing there, his warm breath on her neck, sending shivers up her spine. She took a purposeful step forward and then another. He sighed.
His touch was light on her neck, briefly stroking it before he wrapped her long hair around his knuckles, tucking it into his fist, getting complete control of her head. With gentle pressure, he yanked, pulling her head back, lifting her face to his. He was standing over her, looking down. This time when he spoke, his voice had a hard edge to it.
“Little girl, I told you to stop.” He pulled her into him, her back to his front, never letting go of the grip he had on her hair. “When I tell you to do something, I expect you to listen.”
Those words, damn. Why was her pussy suddenly pulsing? She squirmed against his hardness. Her ass rubbed against the front of his pants. She wasn’t the only one aroused. His hand tightened in her hair.
“Hold still.”
“Okay, okay!”
“Oh no, I don’t think so, little girl. That is not how this is going to go. When I am correcting you, I expect a sir or a daddy to pass from those beautiful lips of yours. I know it has been a long time, but I do not believe it has been so long that you have forgotten. Are you testing me, Little Bee?”
She bit her lip and shook her head from side to side. His hold on her hair tightened, a gasp of pain fell from her lips. He had gone from barely grasping her hair to gripping it tightly and painfully in a few short seconds.
“Yes, D… Daddy.”
“Yes, Daddy? You are testing me?”
“I mean, no, Daddy.”
“You were being more honest a second ago, Bee.” Max released her hair and stepped around her so that he was simultaneously facing her and blocking the door. He took her chin between his thumb and index finger, tilting her head back, keeping eye contact as he spoke. “This is how this is going to go. We are going to finish this conversation, but not like this. A Little Bee needs some help listening to her daddy.”
“Do I have a say in this?”
“There are those words again. I think, Bee, you need to have less say and more listening. The only say you are going to get is whether or not you consent to being mine again”—he leaned down and captured her lips with his—”and once you have consented to that, you are consenting to all that comes with having me as a daddy. I will take care of you, I will cherish you like the priceless treasure that you are. I will nurture you.” He gently stroked her cheek with the outside of his hand. “I will make love to you until you beg me to allow you to come and then I will bring you an orgasm so intense, your entire body will quiver and shake. I will be your best friend. I will keep your secrets close to me, taking them to the grave. I will be your protector; your safety will be my biggest priority. I will also challenge you to be the best woman you can be and with that comes structure and discipline.”
“Oh. Is that all?” She felt the heat in her cheeks; it felt as if she had fallen asleep on the beach and woken with a sunburn. Her panties were drenched. If they became any wetter, it would look like she peed herself. She desperately wanted to flee to the bedroom, to get her thoughts under control. Her mind was all over the place. Being this close to him put her under his spell.
God. He smells so good.
The way he was holding her chin up was incredibly dominant and don’t get her started on that kiss…
“No.”
“No?” She must have asked him a question. What was it she’d asked again?
“No, Bee. That is not all. Not even close to being all.”
“Oh.”
“Because, Bee, once you consent, this time you won’t get away. This time, there will be no going back.” He led her back to the couch, sat down and pulled her across his lap. He rested her upper body on the cushions, tucking a pillow gently under her.
“We are going to continue this discussion now.” He rubbed her back softly as she looked over her shoulder at him.
“Can’t we talk with me sitting up?” she asked, pushing up on her forearms.
“Nope. We tried that a minute ago and you tried to run. Besides, I can’t do this”—he raised his hand and brought it down with a sharp swat on the fullness of her butt, while she watched—”if you are sitting up.”
She groaned and laid her head forward on the throw pillow.
“Now, we are going to try this again. This time, you won’t be able to get up and run away. You won’t be allowed to push me away. This time will be forever. You hear me, Bee? I won’t lose you again.”
“Why? Why do you want me? You can have any girl you want, Max. Why would you want me? I’m a nobody. I have nothing to offer you.”
“Don’t talk about yourself that way!” Max said harshly, his hand landing several times on her upturned butt, letting her know of the displeasure her words brought him.
“Why? Does the truth hurt?” Brianna bit back.
“Where is this even coming from? I just told you I wanted you, Bee, more than anything. I’ve always wanted you.”
“Is that why you left me? Is that why I was so easy to turn and drive off from, throwing away eight years? There isn’t a lot about me to love. I was a hot piece of ass to you then. Well, newsflash, Sailor, it’s been a long decade. My boobs aren’t so perky now, my skin isn’t quite as elastic. I’m not the bouncy, Barbie-doll-looking twenty-one-year-old you once knew.” Brianna gasped when Max lifted her hips and yanked her shorts and underwear down with one quick motion, tossing them aside, baring her to him. He swatted the fullness of her butt as he spoke.
“There is a lot I love about you, Bumble Bee. Your infectious laugh, the way you light up every room you enter. Your intelligence and quick wit, the amount of smarts it takes to make it through medical school is something to be damn proud about. You aren’t only book smart though, you are also street smart. You’ve had to be to overcome the shit your family piled on you over the years. I love how compassionate you are. You could have accepted a job anywhere, making way more money than you are working for an international non-profit like Doctors Without Countries. Yet, here you are, helping, what did Pastor Mitch always say, ‘the least of these,’ with your skilled hands and your loving heart. Sure, you were and are still, ‘a hot piece of ass,’ but you are and always have been, so much more than that to me. If I have to spank this butt every day for the rest of our lives to convince you not to say those things about yourself, I will.” He picked up the tempo of the spanking then, bringing his hand down fiercely on her upper thighs before returning to her ass. Swat after swat came down on Brianna’s upturned butt.
These weren’t the type of swats he had given her earlier, this was something more, something so much more. It wasn’t exactly punitive, it was more than that. It was emotionally intense. It was cleansing. It was reconnecting. Each swat of his hand on her butt, the skin on skin, spoke more than any of their words could. The pain built in her behind as the desire grew in her core. The volcano erupted. Brianna collapsed, sobbing and spent over his lap.
“You know what, I think we’ve done just about enough talking.” Max brought the sobbing Brianna up on his lap, cuddling her to his chest. He rubbed her back, stroked her long hair with a tender touch until her cries turned into soft hiccups.
“I’m not sure I like the way you talk, Sailor,” she teased him, the twinkle back in her eyes.
“I thought I said we’ve done enough talking.” He kissed her then with every bit of emotion that he had been holding back, holding in for the years they’d been apart. The intensity he had been feeling during their battle of wills came crashing down like waves around them in the form of that kiss. It was so right, so fucking right, his lips on hers.
Max deepened the kiss, fisting her hair, pulling her into him. He moved her so she was straddling his hips. She lifted a hand to go around his neck, her mouth opening to his probing tongue. H
is body tightened, his rock-hard cock pressed against her softness. Max about came undone when she ground her hips into his hardness. The craving to take Brianna was stronger than just about any urge he had ever had in his life. He was a man dying of thirst in the desert; she was his bountiful fresh spring of life-giving water. He needed to drink from her depths.
“Bee,” he broke the kiss. “Bee, look at me. I can’t, we can’t do this and then walk away from each other again. If I take you, if we do this, you belong to me.”
“I thought you said we were done talking.”
“I’m serious. If you consent to this, you consent to being my girl again and all that comes with it. That means, you’ll have a lover, a best friend and a daddy to look over you. There won’t be another breakup, Bumble Bee. It is all or nothing. If you need more time, I will give it to you. Make sure, make damn sure this is what you want because there is no going back.”
“You have to go and ruin everything, don’t you, Max?” She took his hand and guided it between her legs. “Feel what you did to me. Tell me you don’t want this.”
She was wet, fucking drenched. He couldn’t believe her brazenness. There was no denying her arousal, it coated his fingers. Damnit. His cock pulsed as he shifted uncomfortably underneath her. She shifted with him, rubbing herself along his pants, leaving a trail of her juices.
“Please,” she whispered.
He cupped her ass with his hand, feeling the heat from his spanking, squeezing it. She gasped out, grinding herself against him again.
“I’m serious, baby,” he growled. She was really tempting his resolve. “We are going to do this right this time. It’s all or nothing.” God help him if she chose nothing. He didn’t think he could accept that from her, not now, not again, not ever. Making up his mind, he stood up with one quick motion, lifting her in his arms. Carrying her, he took the couple steps toward the first bedroom. Using his arms to sweep aside the mosquito netting, he placed her down in the middle of the bed.