by Z. Stefani
“Alright.” she answered, and quickly got out of the car before she changed her mind and demanded he take her back to his house. She had moved so fast that she didn‘t notice the grey, silk scarf that fell from her bag.
“Heaven.” he called her name before she shut the door and she turned to him, hoping he would ask her to come with him. “You left this.” he handed her the gray silk scarf he had used to tie her up with at least a dozen times. She wasn’t sure why she had even wanted to take it with her in the first place, but she refused to leave it behind.
“Thank you." She gave a small smile then shut the car door and headed to her front door. Julian watched her go, fighting the urge to stop her. Then just when he felt himself reaching for his door handle, he put his hand back on the steering wheel and drove away.
***
Julian sat on his couch in a stupefied trance, his eyes blindly staring at the wall before him. He had the bright idea of having a huge party to distract himself from his own feelings but quickly found himself secluded from the festivities. As his friends, family and a bevy of scantily clad women drank and partied like rock-stars around him, he sat alone on his couch, still trying to wrap his brain around everything that had happened in the last month.
There was no doubt in his mind about what he wanted, but what he wanted did not coincide with his needs. He wanted Heaven more than he ever wanted any other woman in his life, but he needed to be unattached and able to do as he pleased. His want for Heaven was selfishly motivated, he wanted more than just sex from her. He wanted her mind and soul as well as her body, but he was not prepared to give up his cherished freedom in return. He was not prepared nor trained to be monogamous, but he would demand it from her, he wanted her all for himself and was unwilling to share.
“Damn you look sexy tonight, King,” he looked to his left to see a curvy blonde whose face he knew, but name he could not recall “If you’re not busy maybe you could show me your bedroom or something.” she batted her eyelashes as he frowned.
“I’m busy.” he turned from her to look back at the wall.
“Alright.” she said awkwardly before walking away.
***
Heaven sat on her couch with a bottle of wine while the comforting voice of her favorite blues singer shot out through her speakers. She had been attempting to analyze her feelings, trying to rationalize them, but the more she thought, the more the confusion spread through her brain.
She still wanted to just scream, in fact she had wanted to scream for more than a few hours now. She also wanted to cry and then run to Julian’s house. She had become so used to him being there now, that she was actually longing for him, although she hated herself for it. She wanted to be the strong Sevigne Deville she had always been, she wanted to turn away from him without so much as a glance back. She should be happy, she should be rejoicing, her term of slavery was over, she should have thrown a party.
Instead she sat alone on her grey sofa, arguing with herself over a bottle of wine. She didn’t even drink wine normally, it was a habit she picked up while she was with Julian. She was also looking around her house, her cold, empty, grey and white house. The expensive grey furniture she never sat on, the back yard she never entertained in, the bed she had never even known how to really enjoy until the night Julian stayed with her. Her home was as lifeless as she had once been and was a true testament to the loneliness she had no idea she had felt. At the time she had too many other things to worry about then friends and having fun. She was just so driven, that her focus had actually made her blind to all else around her and she had never learned to just enjoy her life.
She felt so different now and she wanted to do everything differently then she normally would! She wanted to make a horrifically-disgusting mess! She wanted to jump on her expensive couch, she wanted to pour wine on her rug and break a few dishes, but most of all she wanted to fuck Julian King in her bed again.
“Maybe I have that syndrome where the captive falls for their captor or something.” she said aloud to herself. What else could it be? The evidence added up, she hated him, he forced her into a situation and she had been forced to succumb or be punished for it.
It would make perfect sense, if only that little cheerleader in the back of her head wasn’t screaming “Liar! Liar! Liar!” If it was some psyche-altering syndrome or some form of brainwashing, then she would not have enjoyed it so much in the beginning.
***
Julian ended the party early and sent everyone one home. His cousins and his closest friends were too drunk to notice that anything was wrong with him, but Aries knew and had decided to stay behind after everyone had left.
“So what is it?” Aries asked sitting on the sofa, clearly in no rush to leave. “Is it her?”
“Who?”
“The girl from the party?” he poured two glasses of cognac and passed one to Julian. “Did she catch you cheating? Or did she find out what a sadistic prick you really are.” he joked.
“She already knew.”
“So then let’s toast,” he raised his glass, “to women.” he grinned holding his glass forward as Julian pulled his back.
“She’s an aggressive bitch.” he swallowed the contents of the glass then grabbed the bottle and poured another. “And way too arrogant for a woman.”
“I haven’t heard you speak about a woman like that since the last time you told me about that she-devil you were fighting against for the partnership.” Aries laughed to himself, remembering more than a few drunken conversations with his friend about the tyrannical co-worker he despised.
“It should,” he took another drink of the fiery liquid, “they are one in the same.”
“What?” he looked at Julian in disbelief, “are you telling me that gorgeous creature you brought to my party is the same lawyer that you have been battling with for years?”
“Yes.”
“You’re crazy King, you should have fucked that girl three years ago.”
“Three years ago wanted to I choke that girl, you have no idea what that particular female is capable of.” he shook his head, “I’ve seen her take a man to his knees, with just her words. She‘s cold hearted and cruel.”
“But you’re Julian King, if anyone can tame her evil ways, it’s you.”
“I don’t know if I want to, I kind of like her the way she is.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“Monogamy.”
“Oh, the age-old problem.” he said with understanding, “I’ve known you all of our lives and you have always been single. Being in a relationship is a major adjustment.”
“That I am not prepared for, I have to leave her alone.” he decided, feeling relief in knowing what he had to do.
“You just better hope you can still keep that composure when you see her tomorrow.”
***
Heaven had finished the bottle of wine and stood drunk looking at herself in her oval mirror, the last drink had forced her thoughts into a different direction. She was going to stop moping around and take control of her life again. Her term of slavery was over and never again would she have to bow to Julian’s every demand like a little lap dog, she was a whole new woman. Despite it all, she had learned a few valuable lessons that she would enjoy carrying with her. She felt like she had finally taken a deep breath or taken a load off her shoulders, she felt alive and anxious with her new knowledge of life. She had no idea what she wanted to do, or where she wanted to start, but she wanted to do everything, things she had never tried before, things she had previously been repulsed by, she wanted to do it all.
This was a new chapter in her life, and for now, she would enjoy it without questioning it. She walked into her closet and took a good look, on the right side were all of her ill-fitting, dowdy suits, her various prescription glasses and old maid looking shoes. Then to her left were all the clothes she had purchased over the years but had been too scared to wear in public. She had a closet full of beautiful designer suits, dresses and everything acces
sory ever made, just hanging there wasting away. She hadn’t worn one thing, she hadn’t even tried anything on and everything still had its original tag. She had always had a love-hate relationship with fashion, she had despised what it stood for, but loved what it looked like. Although now she even felt differently about that as well, now she didn‘t care what it stood for, she just liked the way it looked on her.
She looked from her left then back to her right and then back again. Then without another thought she ran down to her kitchen and grabbed a box of garbage bags before running back up to her room. She approached the right side of her closet like it was filled with hissing vampires. Then yanking open the garbage bag, she attacked the contents of the right side of her closet like a woman possessed.
She threw every single oversized suit in the bag, every corset that flattened her breasts, the granny panties and the shoes. She had decided to keep a pair of her more attractive, black-rimmed glasses but only for reading. She tugged the bags out to her back yard and threw them all in the large garbage pail then grabbed the lighter fluid and the matches. She stood there watching them burn, feeling a bit dramatic, but not wanting to take the chance that in a moment of weakness she might fold and hide behind her ugly clothes again. She was not aware of what she had been doing at the time, but now she knew and she never wanted to fall victim to that again.
She didn’t feel that way anymore, now she felt sexy and she wanted to look how she felt. She was also a little irritated with her foolish belief that those hideous suits had gotten her respect. It wasn’t the clothing, it was her and she would never allow them to disrespect her, regardless of what she wore, nor would she let clothing take the credit for what she had accomplished. She was too intelligent and won to many cases to ever be looked down upon by any other lawyer. She knew how to handle herself now and she would crush all opponents as she always did, only now she would be doing it in style. After a long, restless evening with only herself and a bottle of wine for company, she finally fell asleep.
***
The Contract Ends
Heaven stood before her large oval mirror, she had only gotten a few hours of sleep and now that the wine had worn off, she no longer felt invincible. Part of her wanted to just crawl back in bed and sleep until tomorrow and if it would actually help her troubles, she would do just that. But she realized that sleeping the day away would only mean that she would have to face her problem the next day instead of already having dealt with it, like she would have if she had just faced it in the first place. It was like removing a bandage that was fused to the top layer of skin, it was best to just rip it off as quickly as possible instead of slowly peeling it away and prolonging the pain.
She knew in order for her to be at her full confidence, she would have to be the Heaven Deville she was before the contract, which meant going back to the unattractive image she felt most comfortable portraying. She searched through her entire closet, praying she had one spare oversized pantsuit and to her utter relief, she found one buried in a box in the back of her closet. It was one she had bought and never wore, truthfully, she had forgotten about it. She looked it over, realizing just how ugly the suit really was, but needing to feel like her old self again, she quickly slid it on then looked at herself in the mirror.
Heaven could not take her eyes off the unappealing woman whose reflection stared back at her in the mirror. It was heartbreaking to her to see how easily she could slip back into the anti-sexual tyrant she had so willingly created. She looked as horrible as she felt, the suit was so large she was unable to even find her own curves. She had spent most of her life hiding her body and now that she had finally gotten used to the idea of showing a little skin, she was had to conceal it all back up.
She stared at her reflection for over fifteen minutes before she finally realized she could not go back to that so quickly. She may be able to look the part again, but she did not feel it right now and could not even stand to look at herself in the disguise any longer. She felt like she was suffocating in the oversized suit, as if the thick polyester fabric was wrapping around her like a boa constrictor, sucking the new life from her. So without another thought, she stripped the suit off then strutted back into her closet wearing only her white cotton panty set.
She opted for the grey, high-waist, pencil skirt with a slit up the back that emphasized her tiny waste, her rounded hips and behind. She couldn’t take her eyes off herself, once again amazed by the transformation, she examined her own curves and thought about the expression on Julian’s face when he saw her. She tucked in her white, button-up shirt with the short bell sleeves and a thin ruffle going down the pleated front. Her blazer matched her skirt, but was adorned with platinum buttons and tiny vertical zippers on the side pockets. She accessorized with platinum jewelry of course, her wrist covered with heavy bangles and tiny diamond studs in her ears. She wore her hair pulled back in one very long and straightened ponytail that hung sleekly down her back.
She stepped back and took one last look at herself, praying that she had the strength to deal with Julian’s presence today. She then collected her wits, took a deep breath and headed off to work.
***
All eyes were on Heaven the moment she walked through the doors at work. She could feel the glares from Lila, Juliette and a few of the other secretaries. That was when Heaven noticed that one of the secretaries, Gloria Gray was smiling directly at her, letting her know without using words that she more than approved of her new look.
“Oh god, the evil bitch stared at me, I think I feel my foot turning to stone.” Adele snickered.
“No that’s just your scalp drying up due to lack of re-growth.” Gloria retorted.
“Bitch.” Adele hissed.
“Fashion victim,” Gloria dramatically tossed her thick hair to the side with a snide grin before she continued, “besides, I think she looks hot.” she added for good measure, not needing to turn around and look at Juliette to know she was directing her murderous scowl towards Gloria’s back.
“She looks ridiculous in those glasses.” Juliette said, not wanting to appear jealous or even overly-concerned, despite the jealousy she felt burning deep in the core of her soul. She refused to let these women know how insecure she really was when it came to Miss Deville.
“No she doesn’t, those glasses are adorable and they go with that suit perfectly. I love those glasses.” Gloria said, of the thin black framed glasses, “Besides, she is pretty enough to get away with them.”
“Yeah, I like them too.” Reese said.
“You would.” Juliette whispered under her breath before walking away from the group of women who she was beginning to despise. She hurried towards her office, silently passing by Heaven on her way.
***
Heaven was attempting to blindly walk down the hallway, but could not avoid seeing Julian standing before the entrance to his office, speaking to his secretary, Emma Cooke. Heaven held her composure as she continued down the hall, refusing to even glance at him as she walked past and straight to her office. She realized she had been holding her breath as she opened her office door and rushed inside, locking it behind her. She collapsed in her chair, taking a deep breath as she wondered how the hell she was going to get through the rest of the day, because all it took was one quick glance in Julian’s direction and she felt her body instantly begin to react.
Julian frowned as he watched Heaven walk by, refusing to look at him and not even speaking. He realized it was hard for her, part of her still disliked him, and no matter how small that part was it still forced her to hold back. A part of him wanted to go to her and demand she speak to him, but he would give her today to become adjusted to their new relationship. But after today, she had better be prepared, because he had no idea how long he would be able to wait before he approached her.
***
The lawyer who had won the partnership at King Law firm was announced that afternoon to the surprise to everyone working, and Heaven sat in the boardroom
overwhelmed with anger and teetering on the verge between belligerence and tears.
Julian had won of course, he was to become partner and in retrospect, her superior. She felt her chest constricting, her breathing was becoming unstable and she knew she had to get out of that room before she humiliated herself. Once Julian’s name had been announced everyone had stood up to congratulate him and Heaven snuck through the attorneys to get out of the room.
She walked straight to her office, oblivious to all the secretaries watching her storm past them.
“What’s the matter with the self-appointed queen bee?” Adele asked as she watched Heaven walk by.
“She must have lost.” Gloria said with a look of disappointment, she had been rooting for Heaven to win.
“Thank god! I am so happy she did not win.” Juliette’s smiled in satisfaction, “hopefully she will be so upset that she decides to quit.”
“Ding-dong, the bitch is gone.” Adele said in a sing-song voice.