Poems 1959-2009

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Poems 1959-2009 Page 32

by Frederick Seidel


  Before we could see that far.

  One year, a new police

  Patrol boat docked there, later

  A small yawl. But the red iron

  Pier understructure, resoldered

  And buttressed, rusted and fell through

  That year, and no one walks there.

  2.

  There’s a small park near the wharves,

  And a playground—

  But no lovers, never children.

  A few old folks sunned there.

  Some see the gangs, some hear.

  On summer vacations from Ann Arbor

  We used to walk there.

  The one water fountain

  Was a lush affair

  Between two angels, fat as Paradise,

  Nubile, and male and female,

  Holding winged hands around

  A base of rose stone,

  While from heaven above, an aquiline

  Brass bird, a green dove,

  Gargled up, it seemed,

  All the city’s water,

  Year after year.

  It was never turned off,

  And stood a foot deep

  In pond-green watery refuse,

  And was never used.

  We’d thought of getting married there.

  3.

  The warped, smutted kitchen window

  Ripples the blue fume of November

  Over the shore apartments and the wharves.

  The window wavers in the oven’s heat.

  The street flows like lava, and the playground.

  My baby stirs. Time to eat for it.

  Cuddled in me—lovely! It will

  Die in me, I know it will.

  My child is breathing in my life,

  Its heart is pressing on my heart.

  You won’t be here if you die on me

  Before I have your child.

  It’s why I’m here.

  To spoon the drugs up to your lips,

  Be near your sleep,

  Make you live an extra week.

  What we have to bear

  Will take two months, no more.

  It can’t feel you at all:

  It rots the stitches and the lymph strings,

  And gums you … dressing;

  You go down rich, changed, sea-green

  As tomalley. Cancer.

  Balls of your groin, heart of your heart.

  I feel you. The oven bell

  Dings, and you call—the front door bell;

  And in the hall, Papa and your mother

  Gabble about our unborn daughter or son.

  A perfect bird. Fatty sweat

  Gleams on its bursting goosepimpled breast.

  A YEAR ABROAD

  (In A.D. 9 Q. Varus marched three legions into an ambush in Teutoburg Forest. “From ancient times onward the circumstances surrounding the end of Roman rule in Germany have been an occasion for prejudice and rhetoric. Varus was made the scapegoat for the miscalculations of Roman policy; the contrast between the inertia or benevolence of Varus and the energy or perfidy of Arminius, between the Roman governor and the native prince, was drawn in vivid colours, and artfully employed to personify the opposition between civilization and freedom.”)

  Holding his breath, he watched the whole wing flex

  And flex and saw the bouncing jet pods stream

  With condensation as they plowed through clouds.

  He saw the stewardess back down the aisle

  Smiling at seat belts. His lap was headlines—now

  Another Electra had burst in two and still

  No planes were grounded. Down there somewhere crowds

  Hushed in the bars: the un-trust-busted Yankees

  Were squeezing a World Series in the till—

  Millions puffed and stared, the beer suds spilled.

  The diplomatic pilot dipped a wing,

  Lufthansa’s bow to the United States …

  His Volkswagen was waiting. If he drove

  On through the night, by dawn he could salute

  The Arch of Titus with his German plates.

  Cologne he knew—Jew-baiting mothers who

  Just couldn’t get enough and chewed their hair.

  Roman Agrippina had been born there.

  Nineteen and weeping for perfection, he’d

  Been lost each morning. He would wake with a start

  Pacing along a lot that faced the Dom.

  Powdered bricks had made the ground lip-red,

  Electric bells bonged in the shaved-off belfry.

  He’d watch the pigeons rise and settle, rise

  And settle, gobbling, then he’d go buy bread.

  Cologne to Wolfsburg for the People’s Car,

  Through Lippe, Saltus Teutoburgiensis.

  Though it was Varus who when Herod died

  Crunched up Judaea, from Teutoburg Forest he

  Would bear the Eagles of Varus back to Rome:

  History’s straight-man, ambushed by his aide,

  His trusted German, into suicide,

  Bald, civilized, delicious—never praised,

  But chosen by Augustus. Rome gawked, amazed …

  The NATO general salutes the prizes.

  His Holiness stops at et credo, and rises

  To touch the braid and tatters. Washington

  And Bonn have flown the long-lost Eagles home.

  The place is crushed! the packed, cowed faces hushed,

  Underdeveloped stomachs aching to cheer.

  He heard the engines screaming for more air.

  He pushed and drifted—waking smelled like steam.

  Below him were the blank and linked-up roofs

  Of suburbs … showers, crematoria …

  The john tiles where his father’s soft eyes worked

  The crossword puzzle jackpots, poetry

  Of Jews, ten thousand dollars for first prize.

  Red bullets to the brain, the Seconal …

  The world was turning into dawn, just as

  The jet plane’s sixteen landing wheels set down.

  “THE BEAST IS IN CHAINS”

  Waving News of the World, the other customer

  Whines in his bib with laughter:

  “‘The Nazi bombers still

  Drop stink-bombs through the window,

  But lobotomized now, she doesn’t mind the smell!’”

  The barber grabs me by the nose;

  The blade flashes around my lips.

  Leaving the Ritz, I watch the sun

  Volley between the windows of the place Vendôme;

  The column points the hour. My Le Monde

  Is covered with bombs

  Stuck like gum to café chairs and station lockers

  Exploding in Paris, Oran, Le Havre.

  I sit down in the Tuileries.

  Kennedy banquet at Versailles.

  A Russian, Gagarin, in space.

  No one is here—a day

  As bleak as Boston, despite the sun. I remember

  My father saying, “What should we do?”

  I was fifteen, my mother forty-three.

  “This will be our decision.”

  Tumbling gold whorls of hair shaved back for the incision;

  The skin, as always, Madonna-smooth,

  Without a care, below the bandages;

  Greener than ever, her eyes are open—

  “How are you?” she asks, “how are you?”

  And starts to smile, and is wheeled past.

  My father’s grief-stunned eyes clung to his face like starfish.

  I recross the street: the zoot-suited Arab

  Flashes his butter-blond Rubenses,

  In black and white, sold by the pack,

  As two more Black Marias

  Bray through the rue de Rivoli

  Toward place de la Concorde.

  The column’s shadow points the hour.

  The plans for the place Vendôme

  Called for a statue less than ha
lf its height.

  Twelve hundred cannons seized at Austerlitz

  Napoleon melted and wrapped around the stone

  In a spiral of bronze. On the top he sits,

  Surveying the City of Light,

  Weighing the American flags brought out,

  Those enormous banners, with outsize stars,

  Stripes brighter than life, worth thousands of dollars.

  They wave magnificence! Guarding the president,

  There’ll be the horsemen of the Garde républicaine!

  Golden helmets afire, on chestnut stallions!

  The West has bombed and bombed. Absinthe

  Is now on Thorazine, the breaker of obsessions.

  SPRING

  1.

  Itching from Kotex pads, from green, polluted perch,

  The Seine scratches itself lovingly along the quais—

  Itching from the new spring!

  Hot prickly yellow wool covers the evening.

  The Eiffel Tower is full of hot air, full to bursting

  Hearing the countdown

  Start and stop again, then again.

  Brains, thoughts swell,

  Like bulls snorting out

  Passionate red roses from black nostrils.

  While passersby’s eyes lock with theirs in various grips,

  Young Americans

  Are swigging French beer on benches by the river.

  He is there. This is Lucifer’s palace

  For his angels’ vices. At midnight, when Paris

  Looks at her face in the mirror, she sees a buttocks,

  And straps on a device. Green

  Is rumbling. Like a cat’s sharpening claws,

  The cracks in the sidewalks

  Stretch out and dig in.

  2.

  All startling legs and eventful spirit—

  Corsaged handlebar, spring straw hat—

  Bicycling on the flat through the snow

  To Sever Hall, to recite her Sappho.

  On hair like Hera’s, black swansdown,

  She wore white ribbons freshly ironed.

  Unmarriageable Minoan eyes,

  All intuition, delicately lidded.

  The way she walked,

  You’d have thought her body talked.

  Those Harvard years

  His ego hovered like a hummingbird,

  Wingless, songless—halfway

  Between his knees and shoulders.

  Perhaps it wanted to embrace the universe.

  Closing his eyes to caress

  This girl or that, he saw stars.

  Time the leukotome!

  Softly slicing

  The frontal lobes. That girl,

  Bashed in by his love,

  Happily married now … ?

  He tries to remember what was happening:

  The taste of zinc—the sight, without the sound,

  Of thousands of hands clapping.

  The empty beer bottle slaps the water

  And sinks, hiccuping whitecaps.

  3.

  Along the row of square, snow-white igloos

  The white chestnut tree blossom clusters

  Sift through each other

  In the damp light and few breaths of air

  Like the slow shuffling of a tambourine.

  Even ugly new buildings here are rare.

  Compared to French windows, these are loopholes.

  The tight, washed rooms are small enough for nuns—

  Small for maid’s rooms! There are no closets.

  Room after room is stained and pervaded

  By traditionally ugly, self-absorbed,

  Talmudic-brown armoires.

  One shelf of each supports one kepi, at least—

  A son’s or father’s—a beaked pillbox

  Banded with gold or silver, police or army,

  To keep the armoire company

  With the nineteenth, the last French century.

  There are no shutters. Everywhere,

  Even just across the street,

  Faded shutters are drawn.

  Orange rungs climb the Persian carpets,

  Scale sujets religieux and mount the sideboards.

  The family, if it’s home, is in the bedrooms.

  The maid has turned the kitchen light out, it is so hot.

  She cuts up cucumbers with the butcher knife

  In thick, crude slices, a folded soaked zero

  Under each arm, her neck shining.

  Her old buttocks and vagina contract.

  She has a vicious, weakly mind—

  Sympathized with, it comes off on your hands.

  Or is it a mind too generous, too deep for her,

  Always in the clouds, straining to rain?

  Outside, he is passing by,

  His eyes on the ground, on his way home.

  4.

  Greeting the opening door,

  Drafts dash around the room,

  Like a terrier sprinting in circles

  Around its home-from-work owner.

  The lampshades bow like tutus.

  Fresh air—but freshened where?

  The lace curtains billow like the Graces’ nightgowns,

  Then split and kick the cancan—

  Higher! Nearer—

  No, farther away, farther:

  The click of heels.

  The air has stopped, stands still.

  Across the way, a light goes on and off,

  But a girl with a chiffon scarf

  Was standing by the window.

  Not a cloud, not a thought of rain.

  The great night is pacing the slot above the street,

  And down into the street, back and forth …

  Like Hamlet sweltering in velvet Elizabethan mourning.

  His head is in the sheer, temperatureless stratosphere;

  His heart is smothering.

  The dark is clear.

  Still, some of his thoughts connect,

  And are stars.

  AMERICANS IN ROME

  Below the window wine-washed Rome

  Is drying and the concrete lane

  Weaves in the rose direction home

  Southwestward. I’ll take her off to Ischia and Spain

  And marry her, and make her love

  Her rashness. Then we pause—we stay where they smile clove

  And garlic in the earthy air. We’ll stay,

  We’ll mend the bedsheets when they fray

  Ourselves, and seize the hours and work

  Them into full-lipped ovened clay

  Vessels of content. Her shy, bare fingers jerk

  The satin ribbons and unbox

  My saved-up present to her, a snakeskin purse which locks

  Inside it the love poem I want to read.

  “Only I don’t intend to plead

  With you to listen. Don’t I know

  The Fathers say I’ll never lead

  You to the altar? Let them go—and even so,

  You love them, don’t you? And you dare

  Not love me just for wanting you alone? Then swear

  You couldn’t love the others and be true

  To me—swear something or we’re through.”

  But that’s not all. You were so shy

  A girl, a child. Where is she? You

  Have lost her here. How can I convalesce what I

  Corrupted when infection struts

  Around this city whose street lights are sidewalk sluts?

  She sits there glowering at the shadow-moths

  Her thumbs twiddle around the oilcloths

  Soiling the walls. The curtain’s sleeves

  Of mellow vespertine blue sloths

  Of air are all my twenty-two years of life receives

  From life, besides a wobbly bed

  And tabletop and chairs. The poor are richer dead …

  Yet my starved spider dangling from the wall,

  My seeing-eye, wants nothing at all

  Except
what gives itself away

  By moving, and only wants what’s small

  Enough to count as riches. Where’s the charm to lay

  Between our pillows? It’s not grace,

  Not the unspoken tenderness—or in the place

  Of tenderness a tepidarium.

  You venture so much and you come

  To loathe life’s honey on your hands—

  And once love worked like a green thumb

  In the hot weather. And she longed for Rome. Rome stands

  For hope—pocked, wired, original,

  Electric as a honeycomb or a staked skull.

  And all those blue-eyed souls blinded by thorns,

  All the poor souls loving suborns

  And scales down to the irony

  Of middle age, can kiss the corns

  Of gold from Peter’s toe, can give to piety

  Their ego, for amnesia.

  That jet plane’s vapor trail is time’s aphasia

  Coiled over St. Peter’s—but that tail will crack

  The silence. Then it all comes back:

  The glaring doorway and the door

  Open, her husband—and the black

  Missal the priest held: “Paid? She’s paid? And you’re some whore?”

  There is no God. They taught her wrong,

  The smooth-faced Sisters. Depilation kept them strong,

  But lessons can’t fit Spellman’s corpulence

  Through the bright groove the penitents’

  Blue knees carved to an altar rail

  In stone Trastevere, where rents

  Split with indulgences, where love hangs on its nail.

  I turn the light out … I am sure

  Of nothing—just the moon, brassiered and soap-sleek, pure

  Perfumed Spellman, stinking with allure.

  THE WALK THERE

  As he approaches each tree goes on,

  And the girls one by one

  Glance down at their blouses. A nun,

  Then six or seven, hop in

  A cream station wagon,

  White-beaked blackbirds baked in a pie.

  In his mind is

  The lid of an eye

  The dark dilated closing behind him.

  Levy. Arched eyebrows and shadowed

  Moist eyes. An El Greco. Swart, slim.

  He’s late to her. He thinks of her, waiting,

  Limb by limb.

  Her defenselessness and childlike trust!

  Smiling to be combed out

  And parted—and her lust

  Touching the comb like a lyre.

  To have been told by her not to trust her!

  And he distrusts her.

  And everywhere he sees

 

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