He reached out, cupped her face in his hands. It took everything he had—every ounce of control to make this about them and not him. To make this about truth and not excuses.
Delvin brushed his lips to hers and asked, “I can’t change the past, so how long are you going to make me pay for my mistake?” He pressed his forehead to hers, listening to her unsteady breathing. “I’ve gone all these years without you.”
Tailan shook free of his hold. “That wasn’t my fault. You had the child you wanted by a woman you chose. You had your career, you had everything—”
“But I didn’t have you,” Delvin reminded.
Tears filled Tailan’s eyes. “You made me feel less than a woman because I wouldn’t give you what you wanted,” she cried. “You had no regard for my body—for what I wanted.”
“And all of it was for nothing,” he countered, reaching up to wipe away her single tear. “Because in the end you did have my child.”
“I had no choice but to have her,” she said. Her look was pure sadness. “I was scared every single day! I had complications with the pregnancy that robbed my body of strength. I was horribly ill. Every day I lived in fear that my body would give out, my child would be born sickly or worse—an orphan because I died giving it life.” She glared at him. “So don’t you dare trivialize my experience as an ‘I told you so.’ I’m not a violent woman, Delvin. But say something like that again and I’ll slap you so hard—”
Delvin reached for her again, and she struggled for a moment, then finally gave in and cried in his arms.
After a long while he said, “Answer one question for me …”
Tailan nodded. She lifted her head from his chest and waited.
“Do you love me?”
Tailan eased out of his arms and confessed, “I can’t answer.”
“Can’t or won’t?” Delvin persisted.
Tailan took in a deep breath and looked back at him. “Same difference.”
“Then I have my answer,” he said and stood then faced her. As she remained sitting, looking up at him, he announced, “I’m going to fight for us, Tai. In my own way. I won’t touch you again while you’re still married to him, but—”
“Delvin, please don’t,” she beseeched.
“Let me finish.” He paced in front of her. “I’m not going to wage an all-out war, but I’m going to put old boy on notice.” Delvin turned intense eyes to Tailan. “He can never, ever mess up. He can never give me a sliver of an opening because I will take it all—everything.”
Tailan gasped, and he bent down and kissed her lips. “I’m man enough to admit when I have real competition. As much as it pains me to say this … Amir does love you. But so do I. More in fact, because I loved you first. So when he touches you, know that I’m not far from you. When he makes love to you, remember I’m just as capable of pleasing you. When you long for me, remember you’re the only one who stands in the way of us being together.”
Delvin straightened to his full height and offered his hand to Tailan to help her stand. As they walked back to the hotel, he added, “So that we’re clear, one wrong move and I’m storming the castle and taking back what belongs to me. This is his only warning. Yours too.” He brought her hand to his lips. “You feel me?”
She nodded, suddenly timid and silent.
They walked into the lobby, and he pulled her to the side. Delvin cradled her stunned face in his hands and said, “Don’t play this game with me again, Tai. I won’t be a party to some poly-whatever the hell you guys are doing.” He breathed hot words into her ear as she trembled in his arms. “If you come to me again, if you open yourself to me again in this way, I promise you’ll never go back to him.”
She tensed.
“Do you understand me?” he growled.
“Yes!” Tailan panted.
He could practically smell her aroused fever for him. He gave a quiet chuckle and sealed his words with a steamy kiss. When he released her, she looked drunk.
Delvin pushed her to arm’s length and finished, “Now get out of here before I forget my promise and make you my breakfast.”
Without a moment’s hesitation, she scrambled out of his reach and maneuvered through the lobby to the elevator.
His laughter followed her the entire way.
Chapter 30
Seventy stories up, Amir had witnessed the exchange between Delvin and his wife. They sat like old friends watching the sunrise. A sinking feeling lodged in the pit of his stomach.
Amir loved his wife, but at this very moment, a part of him resented her. She had shown a side of herself to him and Delvin that demonstrated to him just how wrong introducing a polyamorous element into their marriage had been.
Tailan needed him, loved him. Of that he had no doubt. But she craved the kind of intimacy that Delvin had offered her. It was something Amir hadn’t factored into the equation. He had endured Delvin in Tailan’s heart for years. He’d had no problem with that. But now to have the flesh and blood man in their lives was something he wasn’t sure he could abide.
Delvin was a possessive predator in Amir’s eyes. Yet each man had a hold on Tailan because of their daughters.
The real unknown factor to this entire situation was Tailan. Amir was at a loss to gauge her next move. His wife wouldn’t leave him, of that he was certain. Only because Tailan would never allow her daughters to be separated. The very idea went against every instinct in her body. This was an advantage for Amir but a very precarious one.
It was no secret that his very traditional, very affluent family held no respect or love for Tailan and Devi. His family could become a major problem if Tailan’s tolerance reached a breaking point. With Delvin Germaine in the picture, she suddenly had options she never had before. That made Amir very uneasy.
The honorable thing to do would be to let her go, but the selfish side of him rallied against it. Amir reminded himself that this shouldn’t be about his heart, Tailan’s heart, or Delvin’s wants. This—was about their daughters.
Neena loved Tailan—called her mother. His adorable little princess had blossomed under Tailan’s care just as he had. Tailan had healed his bleeding, woeful heart and filled it with so much joy, laughter, and serenity.
Amir experienced being alive again with Tailan. She always seemed more sparkling than other women. The way that Tailan put her everything into all that concerned her—the people around her, the children she raised, the dreams she pursued—made her vibrant and beautiful in his eyes. He felt it the first time he saw her, even with the shadows of pain that were evident in her eyes. He wanted her then, and knew he would never have enough of her. Amir only wanted to wash away that pain and love her until she thought of nothing but him and their children. It had worked well enough—until now, until Delvin reappeared after all these years.
Amir still couldn’t understand how she could love both of them. They were so very different. Delvin saw Tailan as a possession—his woman. Amir would never forget how he mounted Tailan and plunged into her like a depraved stallion.
Amir had prepared himself mentally for any number of visuals that might present themselves, but none of his imaginings even came close to the graphic depiction of lust playing out in front of him. Not from Delvin—but Tailan! She was just as insatiable in the act as he was.
Now, they were at a crossroad and the right direction was unclear. Amir had assumed that by allowing Delvin to show his true nature, his real side, it would wake Tailan to the fact that Delvin was not worth living in the past. Her concession to experience him and Delvin shocked him beyond comprehension.
Last night and this morning had confirmed the ugliest truth of all for Amir. As the door opened behind him and Tailan entered, he turned and saw it plainly. Tailan would miss Delvin now more than ever.
And there wasn’t one thing Amir could do about it.
Chapter 31
Tailan was in a world of confusion. In the three weeks since her “date” with Delvin, work, family drama, and the r
avaging dreams of being with her two men were ever-present.
The tension between her and Amir had simmered down. He was preoccupied with dealing with his family’s increased demands. Something was brewing on that front, but she couldn’t give his family too much energy at the moment. Delvin, as promised, had dialed back his heavy pursuit of her, approaching her only when it was a matter concerning the children. She was saddened that their easy banter and suggestive conversations had morphed into sickeningly polite and formal communications.
All four of the children had picked up on the vibe around them but were flourishing in spite of it. Neena and Devi were helping one another do well in school, the same way that she and Delvin once had. Jason had instinctively become overly protective of all three of his sisters. If they went out to play, he always tagged along as their guard. Nothing and no one ever got too close to his family. And Jason had reconnected with Tailan, sometimes coming down the street to her home to spend time with her, to talk over things and ask for her advice. But the biggest leap in all of it was that he called her Mom again. That touched her heart more deeply than she could have imagined.
Ariel had bloomed under Tailan’s attention and care. The nanny was great with all of the children, but Ariel seemed to relax better when Delvin or Tailan were near. And Devi was the ringleader of the whole gang. There was no mistaking her natural leadership abilities. Tailan knew she inherited that trait from both of her parents. Devi didn’t have a jealous bone in her body. The little girl took to Jason and Ariel like they had grown up together their entire lives.
It was odd but no less wonderful.
Tailan felt her goals of keeping her family together and making it strong and healthy had become a reality. There was only one hiccup.
Her body craved the touch of a man she could not have. She ached for the intimate connection she had with Delvin. To make matters infinitely worse, this longing in no way lessened her appetite for Amir.
“Good Lord,” she whispered to herself. “Somehow, I’m addicted to both of them.”
She needed to table these thoughts because Valarie would be arriving in her office any minute. Pam had sent her to discuss what was next for M-LAS.
Tailan rose from her desk and turned to the window overlooking the Chicago skyline. The image was serene and she tried to use it to rein in her ravenous thoughts. If she approached Delvin for any issue that was not related to the children, he would consume her. Plus, he had already vowed that if she did that, or if Amir or his family slipped up one more time, he would break the delicate truce and do everything in his power to reclaim her.
The problem was that Delvin had her heart, but Amir and her children had her soul.
How does a woman choose between water to survive and oxygen to breathe?
She paced before her office window, trying to devise a solution.
Valarie interrupted her by saying, “What the hell are you thinking?”
Startled, Tailan turned around. “What?”
Valarie’s smoothed a caramel hand over her hips, sauntered over to her desk and took a seat. “The look on your face just now was so weird.”
“Oh,” Tailan said as she returned to her desk. “I have a lot on my mind.”
“The new promotion that bad?” Valarie asked.
“Nothing I can’t handle.” She slid a weary glance to Valarie. “My love life is all over the place. And I think I’m about to make it worse.”
“Oooh,” Valarie sighed. “Now you know I’m always looking for new source material for my next novel. Spill it.” She rubbed her hands in excited anticipation, though Tailan already knew the woman was only teasing. Valarie would never break a confidence.
Tailan propped her elbows on the desk and dropped her head into her hands. Selectively, she explained the developing love triangle playing out in her life. “I don’t know what to do,” she finished.
“Good God, girl,” Valarie exclaimed. “I couldn’t even make this one up. Talk about playing it close to the vest. Hell, I didn’t even know you were married.” She ran her hand through her shoulder-length bob. “When Delvin Germaine entered the picture, I just knew you two would be sailing off into happily ever after. Especially since the rumors about his pending and very public divorce are true.” Valarie shook her head. “Now you’re saying that not only does Delvin want you back, you refuse to leave your husband, and it’s possible that you just might want both men?” Valarie let out a low whistle of appreciation. “Lord have mercy, if that isn’t a love triangle, then I don’t know what the hell is.”
“Exactly,” Tailan confirmed.
“I will say this …”
Tailan looked over shoulder to Valarie.
“Baby doll, it’s not a bad problem to have.”
“Please,” Tailan groaned, massaging her temples in an attempt at some relief. “This is awful! I feel guilty all the time. Thoughts of Delvin make me feel like I’m betraying my marriage vows. My love for my husband cause me no small amount of stress when I’m near Delvin.” She closed her eyes; images of her husband’s solemn expression transformed into Delvin looking at her with those piercing brown eyes. “Delvin watches me all the time, looking for signs of whether I’m happy or not. And I’m not. And he knows it. And he’s waiting … he’s just biding his time to pounce.”
“Hold up,” Valarie said, frowning as she slid to the edge of her seat. “Why do you have any dealings with Delvin Germaine outside of doing publicity for his book? I don’t understand.”
Tailan hesitated for a moment, trying to decide whether to share this nugget of information. “We have a child together—a daughter.”
Valarie’s generous mouth sagged to the floor. “That’s got to be the best kept secret on the freaking planet. No wonder your panties are in an uproar.”
Tailan nodded.
“It still doesn’t change my first assessment.”
Tailan glanced over to her.
“Not a bad problem to have.”
“Val, this is a problem any way you look at it.”
“See, that right there is the problem.” Valarie pointed a finger to Tailan. “You’re a woman who has fought tooth and nail for others, for your career, for your success. No matter how people swore up and down it couldn’t be done, you proved them wrong. And you want to know why?”
“Because I never take no for an answer?” Tailan chirped.
“That’s part of it, yes. The other part is that you play to win. There has to be a way for you and your eager men to find a happy medium.” Valarie crossed her arms and arched her penciled eyebrow. “From where I’m standing, I only see one option for you.”
Tailan took a long, slow breath, giving Valarie her undivided attention. “What?”
“Put yourself first for once.” She slid the Soul Express DVD from the desk and flipped it over in her hands. “Take charge of the situation and lay out a brand new set of rules.”
Tailan tried to imagine how that would work and came up empty.
“Both men have made demands on you, asked you to yield to their wishes, their desires, their choices, their needs.” Valarie twirled the disk on her finger, looping it as she offered, “I think it’s time you gave them both a dose of their own medicine. Now, how you do that is the real magic trick.”
Tailan was silent a long while, bouncing one scenario through her mind after another. Finally, the corners of her lips turned up.
Valarie stood and stepped back. “Whoa, I don’t like that look in your eyes.” She propped her hands on her curvy hips, and when Tailan didn’t answer, she said, “I think I’ve created a monster.”
“No, you didn’t create the monster. You simply woke her up from a long sleep.”
Tailan switched on her computer and searched for a number. She reached for the phone and quickly dialed.
* * *
Tailan held her meeting in an intimate and very public location—the Chicago Stock Exchange Restaurant. The place boasted of elegance, money, and privacy. Getting a r
eservation took skill, finesse, a ton of ingenuity, and the mention of Delvin Germaine.
When her guests arrived promptly at eight o’clock, Tailan was properly suited for battle. She had chosen her armor with infinite care—a flattering clingy number that ended near her ankles. The color was a seductive red—a shade both of her guests adored on her. The top of the dress left her shoulders bare and inviting to the touch.
Tailan didn’t waste time with her hair and make-up. Instead she hired a stylist and make-up artist to complete the task. She was going for a certain look, and that look was—I’m worth the effort, gentlemen.
As Amir and Delvin joined her at the secluded table, the waiter appeared out of nowhere. The lanky young buck had showered attention on Tailan since she arrived.
“We’ll start with water and coffee,” Tailan said. Then she turned to her men, “Gentlemen, would you care for something else?”
They stared at her, their eyes raking over her sensual curves, her naughty smile, and her bold eye contact.
“Well, actually,” Delvin replied, “I’m good.”
“No,” Amir answered. “I do not require anything at the moment.”
Tailan turned to the waiter. “That will be all for now, sir.”
Once he departed, Tailan turned to her guests. She sized them up, practically reading their thoughts. They wanted her. They wanted all of her. Unfortunately for them, all of her would now come at a price—their egos.
“I extended you both an invitation tonight,” Tailan said, with a flicker of a gaze at both of them. “It occurred to me that none of us can continue on this way. So I’ve decided to bare it all.”
Tailan leaned back in the chair and crossed her long legs, taking in how Amir and Delvin watched her every move.
“I’ve been living a lie and trying to make it the truth,” she confessed. “I’m going to be very honest, and I’m almost positive you won’t like it …”
Delvin’s eyebrow shot up to his hairline.
Amir’s expression didn’t change, but a sliver of curiosity lit in his eyes.
Was it Good for You Too? Page 19