by Nicole Maggi
I pulled myself away from him, already cold from his absence. Stay safe.
I will. Mind-game master, remember?
I know, but . . .
Alessia, it’s going to be okay. Maybe I’ll even be at school tomorrow.
For a long moment, we stood inches apart, our eyes devouring each other in the same way I knew our arms and lips and bodies would be if we were human. I love you, I said.
I know, he said. It’s the only thing keeping me alive. And then he was gone, sinking into the night as deeply as the pain sank into my heart.
Chapter Nine
The Old Guide
Alessia
So, Cal said when I got back to the birch grove. You and the Panther, huh?
I snapped my beak at Heath. You told him?
I didn’t, I swear. I told him you didn’t need help, and he got suspicious.
I was accepted for early admission to Yale, Cal said. I’m not an idiot.
I didn’t know he was a Malandante when I fell—met him. Obviously.
Obviously. Cal winked one of his huge, amber eyes at me. That must really suck.
Yeah, it’s not ideal.
But you know . . . I could tell that Cal had blocked Heath out, that he was speaking only to me now. Okay, I hope this comes out the way I want it to. But, you’re lucky, too.
What do you mean?
To love someone like that. Even if you can’t be with him. To feel that deeply. I know it might seem like cold comfort, but that’s something, Alessia. I’ve never been in love like that. Not yet, he added, and I wondered if he was thinking about Bree.
I guess . . . I never thought about it like that.
It’s probably hard to when you’re right in the middle of it. He breathed out hard through his nostrils, making little white clouds in the air. Anyway, that’s what I think. I’m a bit of a romantic.
That’s not a bad thing. I clawed at the birch branch I was perched on. I hope you love someone like that someday. And I hope it’s someone you can actually be with.
Hey, if you two are done having a secret conversation, can we get back to work? Heath broke into both our minds, like a door banging open in a quiet library.
We took Cal all around the perimeter of the site, keeping beneath the brush so the Malandanti couldn’t see us. Heath showed him all the good vantage points, where he could watch the Waterfall without being seen. He’d already been told our whole history at the site, so by the time we started back to Jenny’s, we had moved on to battle tactics for retaking the Waterfall.
So the entire Clan needs to be inside the barrier in order for the spell to work? Cal asked.
Yes, I said. And all the Malandanti need to be outside of it. You can see how that will be a challenge with half their Concilio here. We’ll be outnumbered.
Half? Heath asked. Where are the rest of them?
Jonah told me they’ve gone to Tibet. He thinks that’s where the failsafe is. I’ll tell Nerina as soon as we get back.
Why doesn’t our Concilio come here to help out? Cal asked.
That’s a good question, I said pointedly.
They’re a little preoccupied elsewhere, Heath answered. Their priority is regaining control of as many sites as we can, especially Friuli. This is the first time that site has ever been out of our hands in the entire history of the Benandanti.
Well, why don’t we go there to help them out?
Because our priority is the Waterfall, both Heath and I answered at the same time.
I shot up toward the stars. I’d become such a company man that I was echoing Heath now. But it was true. I understood why we needed to stay put. The Benandanti had divided into seven Clans so that each Clan would be able to protect their own site and not have to worry about any of the others. As frustrating as it was, I understood why it had to be so.
The moon was just starting to sink below the tree line when we returned to Jenny’s. Cal and Heath raced through the back door while I soared in through the upstairs bedroom window and dissolved into my body. Air filled my lungs and I breathed deep. I rolled over and slid out of the bed onto the floor. “Bree,” I whispered, shaking her shoulder lightly. She grunted and swatted my hand away. “Bree,” I said again, shaking a little harder.
Her eyes opened. “Who died?”
I rolled my eyes. “No one. Jeez, you’re just like my mom.” I waited for her to wake up a little bit more before I spoke again. “I saw Jonah. He was at the Waterfall.”
Bree sat up, her blankets pooling at her waist. Her black tank top had the words Mother of Dragons emblazoned in fiery orange across the chest. “Is he okay? Did you get to talk to him?”
Glancing at the sleeping Jenny, I motioned for Bree to follow me out of the room. When we got out into the hall, I heard the murmur of low voices coming from downstairs. Heath had probably woken Nerina to give her an update. “He’s fine,” I said. “They’ve been keeping him at the Guild, but he’s trying to earn back their trust. It must be working, because tonight is the first night they’ve let him out.”
“But he wasn’t hurt or anything?”
“No.”
Bree sagged a little against the wall, just below Jenny’s fourth grade picture. “Come on,” I said and headed for the stairs. “There’s more.”
“Good, there you are,” Heath said when Bree and I hit the bottom of the stairs. Cora sat on the couch, her long red hair a jumble around her sleepy face. Heath must’ve woken her up too when he went to get Nerina. Cal was stretched out on the floor, doing leg lifts. “Do you ever sleep?” I asked him. “How do you have so much energy?”
He switched legs. “I’m all riled up after transforming. Don’t you get that way?”
“I guess I used to when I was first Called,” I said. “Now I just want to sleep.” But that wasn’t quite true. I did still feel the pull of my Falcon inside me, long after I transformed back. I glanced around. “Should we get Jeff?”
“I’m already here,” he said. I whirled around. He was a few steps above me and Bree, pulling a sweatshirt over his plaid flannel pajamas. “Clan meeting?”
“I have some news,” I said. Nerina yielded me the floor, and I took center stage in front of the fireplace. I looked around at my Clan, who were all looking back at me. Heat rose from my neck into my cheeks. I twisted my fingers together in front of me. “I guess you all know about Jonah,” I said softly.
Jeff cleared his throat. Cora glanced from him to me. “Nerina may have mentioned it,” she said.
I pulled in a shaky breath. I was glad Nerina had spilled the truth so that I didn’t have to get into it. “He was at the Waterfall tonight. We were able to talk.”
Cora shook her head. “I still don’t get how you two can communicate. I always thought it was impossible.”
“It has to do with connection,” Bree said. She shifted her position against the pillows on the couch. I noticed her wince and touch her rib cage. Too bad we couldn’t send her to the Redwood site to heal. “I was able to do it at the battle last week. Because we’re twins.”
Jeff held his hand up. “Look, I get that whole teenage Romeo-and-Juliet thing. I do. But,” he went on, ignoring my protest, “we can’t trust him. Period. He’s a Malandante.”
“He wants out—”
“I know. Nerina told us.” Jeff rubbed his face. “And maybe he’s telling the truth. But as far as I know, there’s no way out for him. He’s a Malandante for life.”
Bree and I exchanged a look. She gave an almost invisible shake of her head. I pressed my lips together. Now wasn’t the time to bring up the spell. Not when it meant the sacrifice of someone in this very room.
“Well, I trust him,” I said loudly, shutting up everyone who had started to mutter in the wake of Jeff’s little speech. “I don’t expect you all to trust him too, but I think you can at least give him the benefit of the doubt.”
“Can we all get past this and move on to the important stuff?” Bree asked, snapping her fingers at me. “What did he
tell you?”
“The failsafe,” I said. “I asked him about the failsafe.”
“And?”
“He doesn’t know what it is, but he said he thinks it’s happening in Tibet. Half their Concilio was dispatched there last night.”
Nerina leaned against the mantel, running her finger across her bottom lip. “This opens up a whole range of bad possibilities.”
I tried to think what those could be. What was worse than what the Malandanti were already doing? Than what the Guild had done under the pretense of helping people? Maybe I was just too naïve to think that dark.
Cal raised his hand. “Just to refresh, the Tibetan site holds the magic to separate the soul from the body, right?”
“Glad you were paying attention the other night,” I said.
“Yes,” Nerina said, raising her voice above mine. “It is the magic from which we all derive our powers. The Tibetan magic is older than the Benandanti. The monks in those mountains used it to shadow-walk.”
“I thought you couldn’t use the magic without causing damage,” Cal said, “to yourself, and to the earth.”
“Shadow-walking is different,” Bree said. Everyone looked at her. She straightened a little, lifting her chin in that haughty way, as if to remind everyone that she was, after all, our mage. “You don’t transform. Your soul just, you know, takes a walk. You’re still in your human form. Besides, it’s not like Buddhist monks are using the magic for their own selfish gains. It’s probably like taking ayahuasca or peyote for them. They do it to expand their consciousness.”
“In addition,” Nerina said, drawing our attention back to her, “the Tibetan site is the only site that has always—always—been under Malandanti control.”
Cal drew his legs in. “That just seems so at odds. I mean, Buddhist monks and the Malandanti? They seem like very strange bedfellows.”
The corner of Nerina’s mouth twisted. “It isn’t the Buddhist monks who are in bed with the Malandanti. The Mongols and the Chinese have been fighting over it for centuries. And do you know what year the People’s Republic of China invaded Tibet?”
“Nineteen fifty,” Cal supplied as if he was reciting an answer to an SAT question.
“Correct,” Nerina said. “One year after the Guild incorporated itself.”
“They took advantage of a precarious political situation,” Jeff added. “Installed a government that is under Malandanti control.”
“And it’s the people who suffer,” said Heath. “The Tibetans are some of the most oppressed people in the world.” He looked out the window, where the sky was beginning to lighten. “I’ve been there. It is at odds with itself. So beautiful and yet so sad.”
I stared at Heath. He’d never told me he’d been to Tibet. Had he gone on a Benandanti mission? Or during his wanderlust days?
“In any case, it makes sense that the failsafe is originating there,” Nerina said. “Seeing as it’s a Malandanti stronghold. We still have the book of the Tibetan magic,” she continued, nodding at Bree, “so we’ll start our research there.”
“I want to help,” said Cal.
“You can,” Nerina said, “by training with Alessia. That is your job right now.”
“But . . .” Cal glanced at Bree. It was so obvious, I almost laughed. “Part of my training is learning about the different sites, right? Plus, we just got back from the Waterfall. We won’t be going back out until tomorrow.”
“Don’t you have school?” Bree asked.
Cal shrugged. “I’m already accepted to—”
“Yale.” Bree rolled her eyes. “We know.”
“So what are they going to do to me if I don’t show up?”
“Call your mom. Give you detention. Expel you. Failure to graduate will cancel that early acceptance to Yale right out.” Bree got to her feet. “But, sure, if you’re willing to risk all that, I could use the help.” She stalked out of the room, heading for the den where I knew Nerina had all the books stored.
Cal looked and sighed, his face an open book of emotions. He had a crush on Bree, probably as bad as mine on Jonah had been when I’d first met him. I couldn’t blame him. I, of all people, knew the charms the Wolfe twins could work on a person.
“She’ll come around,” I said. “Just ignore her until she does.”
“I can’t,” he muttered, running his hand through his sun-colored hair, his eyes dark on the door to the den where Bree had disappeared.
Something hot and uncomfortable shot through me. I squeezed my eyes shut. I wasn’t jealous that Cal wanted Bree. But I was jealous that he could have her, if he wanted to.
“Are we done?” I asked Nerina, my throat suddenly so tight. She nodded at me as she headed for the den, too.
I bolted from the room, up the stairs as fast as I could, and clambered into my bunk. Jenny was still fast asleep below me, her breathing slow and steady. I curled into a ball, my shoulders shaking. I tried to breathe, but my lungs were squished together. I hiccupped and gasped, hugging myself smaller and smaller. My mind was blank except for the memory of Jonah, the scent of him, the feel of his arms around me, the press of his lips on mine, and then tonight. Being with him without really being with him. It was so screwed up. My heart twisted, wanting so much more than I could have.
I rolled onto my side and stared at the wall. I wished I could talk to my mother. And I could; she was just down the hall. But that white-hot resentment remained and stopped me from getting out of bed and going to her. I could wake up Jenny. She would definitely listen and be sympathetic. But she wouldn’t really understand. There wasn’t anyone who could.
Except maybe Heath.
My lungs loosened, and my breathing slowed. I slipped out of bed and tiptoed to the top of the stairs.
Heath sat alone on the couch, staring into the fire. At the sound of my footsteps, he looked up and gave me a weary smile. “Can’t sleep either, huh?”
I shook my head.
He patted the cushion next to him.
I settled into the pillows and pulled a throw blanket over my knees. I nudged Heath with my elbow. “I didn’t know you’d been to Tibet.”
“Yeah.” Heath stretched his arms behind his head and leaned back. “The Concilio sent me there a few years ago. The Clan there was down one member and needed a loaner, I guess. We tried to overtake the site.” He sighed. “We failed, obviously.”
“Was anyone—?”
“No. Thankfully. But it was rough.” He pulled his legs up into a crisscross. “I was there for a couple of weeks and got to spend time with the locals. It really is beautiful.”
“You’re so lucky you’ve gotten to travel,” I said. The firelight flickered on the brick hearth. “I’m never going to get out of this town.”
“You might,” Heath said. “If we defeat the Malandanti—”
“You said it yourself tonight—this war has been raging for centuries.” I swallowed hard, that hot lump threatening to appear in my throat again. “I’ll probably never get out.”
“There’s nothing wrong with spending your whole life in a place where you are loved,” Heath said softly.
I turned my head to stare at him. He wouldn’t look back at me, so I studied his profile. The shadows on his face somehow made him look sadder than I’d ever seen him. “What do you mean?” I finally asked.
The fire crackled and spit. A log broke in half, tumbling deeper into the flames. “Have I ever told you how I ended up in Friuli?” Heath said.
It wasn’t really a question because he knew damn well that he’d never told me. I didn’t know anything about Heath’s past, no matter how many times I’d asked him about it. I held my breath, scared that if I made a sound he would change his mind and not tell me.
“I grew up in Iowa,” Heath said, and I did start at that. Although he had that whole blond-haired, blue-eyed, corn-fed look to him, I’d always thought of Heath as cosmopolitan. “My dad died before I was born. My mom raised me. She was very religious.”
&
nbsp; “Kinda like me,” I murmured.
Heath’s gaze snapped to me. “No,” he said, sharp as a jagged rock. “Not like you at all. My mom didn’t pray to a Virgin Mary statue on Sundays. My mom didn’t let me read anything except the Bible. Because all books except the Bible were written by the devil.”
I sucked in air so fast it whistled in my teeth.
Heath started to talk fast, as though the story wouldn’t come out any other way. “When I was fourteen, I started to spontaneously transform. It’s very rare, but sometimes it happens to potential Benandanti. I didn’t know what was happening to me, and I couldn’t control it.”
“What—what did your mother do?” I kept my voice low, like I was talking to a frightened animal.
“She thought I was possessed by demons,” he said. “First she tried to beat it out of me. That didn’t work, so she locked me in the basement.” He met my eyes. “For eight months.”
My insides froze.
“Finally she called her minister to come over and perform an exorcism. I knew him well; we’d been going to his church for years. I also knew that he’d put at least two children in the hospital ‘performing exorcisms.’” Heath’s whole body was rigid. I could see how much this story was costing him to tell, and I imagined he’d probably only told it one other time in his life. “So the moment she opened the basement door, I was ready. He stepped onto the top stair, and I was there. I pushed him down the stairs, I knocked her to the floor, and I ran.
“I ran all the way to New York City, and I got a job as a cook’s assistant on a cargo ship across the Atlantic. We docked in France, and I worked my way to Provence, where I got a job on a dairy farm.” A small smile played across his lips. “They were nice to me there. I learned French and all about cheese.” The smile dropped away. “But eventually they caught me transforming too, and they chased me off the farm. With a shotgun.” Heath exhaled slowly. “By then I’d learned about the Benandanti, so I made my way to Friuli.”
Heath tilted his head back and closed his eyes. I could tell he was seeing something in his mind’s eye, something precious and sacred. “I will never forget . . . I got off the train and stood in the town square, turning in a circle to take everything in. And when the circle was complete and I was back in the place I’d started, Nerina was there, standing right in front of me. ‘So,’ she said, ‘you have finally come.’ She took me back to the seat of the Concilio, and they Called me, and I was home.” He opened his eyes and looked at me. “Nerina and I fell in love, but the Concilio forbade it because she’s immortal and I’m not. It made no sense. We both knew the risks, but we were willing to take them. And still they said no.”