With that, she rushed out of the stable into the spring day. As she disappeared from his sight, Simon touched his lips, which still throbbed from the intimate contact. For the life of him, he couldn’t understand the woman at all. But instead of discouraging him, that fact only drove him to delve even deeper into who Virginia Blanchard was and why she was trying so desperately to push him away.
***
Ginny reached the crest of the hill and looked down at the valley below. Westdale rose up in the distance, as beautiful and regal as it had been the first time she’d seen it. Maintaining the magnificent house had been one of the only things to keep her sane during her years with Henry.
That and Jack.
Her gaze drifted to the stable where she’d left Simon. He probably wondered what was wrong with her, but there was no way to explain to him what kinds of feelings he inspired in her. Or that guilt was the last thing she felt when she tasted his lips.
With a shiver, she turned to look at Henry’s grave. She sniffled and blinked back the tears she’d barely managed keep at bay when Simon had spoken so kindly to her.
With a glare, she stared at the large slab of marble that marked her husband’s grave. “I won’t cry, not in front of you. I haven’t since that night, and I will not start now.”
A gust of cool air burst over the hill and blew tendrils of hair into her eyes. She pushed them back and tried not to remember that it was Simon’s hands that had loosened them from her chignon. Being around him made it so hard to remember that she couldn’t let her guard down. Especially when his eyes spoke of honesty and gentleness. Things she’d almost forgotten could exist in a man.
“I still hate you, you know,” she whispered as she crouched down to wipe a splatter of mud away from Henry’s name. “But Simon is wrong. I haven’t felt guilty for one moment since that night.” With a glare, she rose to her feet and turned her back on her husband’s grave. “Not once.”
Again, her eyes trailed to the stable, then down in the direction of the cottage. Places that now reminded her of Simon more than Henry. His presence had erased some of the unhappy emotions she’d once felt here.
“I just don’t understand your plan, Henry.” She shook her head. “Because I know in my heart you must have had one. Was it simply that I’d be controlled by your family? That someone would hold the key to our son’s future as you once held the key to mine?”
She stared at the stone again and barely resisted the urge to kick it. “Well, it won’t work. Even if Simon isn’t the cold, calculating man I believed he might be, I would never let anyone hurt my son. You learned that, didn’t you?”
She folded her arms as she began a slow, meandering walk back to the house. If she didn’t want Jack to see her upset, she needed to take her time.
Jack.
Her little boy had to come first. Before her hatred for his father. Before her… whatever she felt for Simon. No matter what it took, whatever lies she’d have to tell or weaknesses she had to exploit, she’d keep her child from harm. But Simon only had one weakness that she could determine.
He wanted her.
Chapter Six
Simon grunted as he threw a large chunk of wood over his shoulder and on to the growing pile outside the cottage window. In the past two days he and Adam, along with a few men they’d hired in the village, had nearly finished patching the roof and fixing the walls. The place still wasn’t pretty, but at least it would be livable.
Doing physical labor brought Simon comfort. He’d never had much use for the stuffy goings on in offices and clubs. He much preferred the ache of working his muscles to the false laughter of closing a deal. Besides, it helped him forget Ginny.
He’d hardly seen her since their last sweltering kiss in the stable. When she ran away, he hadn’t followed. The pain in her eyes had been so palpable, he was reticent to find out the cause. After all, he already knew she was the kind of woman he could easily care for. Pursuing her would only cause more problems.
Apparently, she concurred, for she’d avoided him ever since. Food and drink appeared from the house every morning, noon and night, as well as bathwater and other items to make him and his first mate more comfortable. But Ginny had been pointedly absent.
He hated to admit it, but he missed her. In just a short week, he’d become accustomed to her presence. Now that it was gone, he wished he could see her face or hear her voice.
With a shake of his head, he put all his might into wrenching another section of wet wall down. He was so focused on his task that he didn’t notice someone come into the room until the sound of a throat clearing behind him made him look up.
“Simon?”
Releasing the section, he spun on his heel and found himself face to face with the woman he’d been thinking about just a moment before. Ginny wore a dark green dress with a low cut bodice. Though a soft layer of pale green gauze covered her exposed skin, he still found himself wishing he could pull that layer away and touch the soft pink space right above her breasts.
“Bugger.”
Her eyes widened at his curse, and he noticed she wasn’t looking at his face, but staring at his chest. He’d nearly forgotten he’d taken off his shirt. Now blood pumped hot in his veins as she stared at his partly exposed body.
“I beg y-your pardon?” she asked, slowly tearing her eyes away from his body and up to his face. “Did you just curse at me?”
“No, I’m sorry. Just frustrated.”
That was more than true. The frustration was actually painful. And only one thing would make it go away. Laying Ginny down on the nearest flat surface and making love to her. Somehow he didn’t think that was an option.
He wiped the sweat from his brow with his forearm and grabbed for the shirt that hung over a chair back. She drew in a short breath in response and with a wicked grin, he pulled it over his shoulders, but left it unbuttoned. Let her look. If he had to throb with need, why shouldn’t she?
“Do you require something?” he asked.
“No, I hadn’t seen you for a few days, and I wanted to make sure you were finding everything you needed. I thought you’d be going over the books more.” She glanced around the room with wide, disbelieving eyes. “I never thought you’d repair the cottage. You’ve done so much.”
He smiled at the awe in her voice. “Well, I thought fixing this place up would help as much as anything else. I’ll look at the books in greater detail, but for now I’m content to finish with the cottage while the weather holds.”
She frowned and drew a small section of her lip between her teeth. “But you must want to get back to your ship very much. This cottage isn’t that important, I never use it. I hate to keep you from your real duties here.”
Now it was his turn to frown. “So anxious to see me gone, are you?”
Ginny’s dark eyes flew to his face and she flushed. “I-”
“You want to get rid of me.” Simon shrugged, though that fact was more important to him than he cared to admit. “I don’t think you’ve ever made that a secret. You don’t have to deny it now.”
She drew in a breath, and he could see the fight about the come before she even uttered a word. He set his shoulders in preparation for the battle, but before she could start in on him, Adam breezed through the door with a crooked smile on his face.
“I got that boy Henderson to gather up the wood that could be salvaged and-” He broke off when he saw Ginny and scrambled to remove his dusty hat. “I beg your pardon, my lady. I didn’t realize Simon had a visitor.”
“It’s no matter,” Simon said with a shrug. He was just as happy not to argue with her at the moment. He didn’t think he had the energy after so many sleepless nights. “You haven’t met her ladyship, have you?” He nodded toward her. “Virginia Blanchard meet Adam Scott. My first mate and thorn in my side on more than one occasion.”
To his surprise, the anger and mistrust Ginny had shown him wasn’t evident as she held out her hand with a friendly smile. It was the
first real expression of welcome or pleasure he’d seen on her face.
“Mr. Scott, Mr. Webber has told me so much about you. I’m very pleased to make your acquaintance.”
Adam shook her hand with wary, questioning glance toward Simon. “It’s very nice to meet you, as well, my lady. Your home is quite beautiful.”
“Thank you.” She turned her back on Simon and her attention fully on Adam. “Mr. Webber tells me you’re a Pall Mall player.”
Again, Adam’s eyes widened, and Simon flinched. He’d all but forgotten that little lie. He’d only told it to prove to Ginny that she didn’t really know him, and to get a chance to challenge her in an arena where emotions wouldn’t be at stake. He hoped if she saw him as a fair player on the field, perhaps she might begin to see him as a fair man in life.
All of which he’d neglected to mention to Adam, who thought games of any kind were best left to little old women and fools.
“Well, my lady, I don’t know if I would say-”
Simon sprang forward to place a hard hand on Adam’s forearm. “Adam doesn’t like to brag, but he does enjoy swinging a mallet, don’t you?” He squeezed his friend’s arm until Adam yanked it away with a glare that told Simon he wouldn’t mind swinging a mallet at his head.
“Yes, Lady Westdale.”
“We must play before you and Mr. Webber depart.”
Again, she bestowed a friendly smile on his first mate that made Simon shiver. Good God, she was beautiful when she didn’t try to be so damned reserved. If only he could make her look at him that way.
Which was, of course, the most ridiculous notion he’d ever had.
“Well, I should be off to oversee these lads while they haul away some of this rotted wood. Good day, my lady.” Adam gave Ginny a bow and Simon another glare before he strolled back into the yard and left the two of them alone.
***
Ginny watched the older man depart down the path with a shiver of trepidation. Suddenly being alone with Simon didn’t seem like such a good idea. Especially when he was standing there with his shirt undone, his muscles rippling and just the lightest sheen from exertion on his skin. The sight of him made her oddly hot and dizzy.
“Your friend seems like a good man,” she said, while she prayed Simon would behave decently and button his shirt. Then she might have some hope of regaining her concentration.
Instead, Simon only nodded. “Yes, he is. No man could find a more loyal friend.”
She nodded absently, but remained disturbingly focused on his half-exposed body. Damn him for using his looks against her. But she damned herself more for reacting. She was furious just thinking about how the glimpse him left her wanting.
He stared at her sour expression for a moment, then crossed to the wall. He leaned back against it with the half-smile that made her heart skip. “I hope we aren’t going to have round three, Ginny.”
She scowled. “Round three?”
“It’s a term used in pugilism. When the men fight, they do it in timed rounds.”
“Hand to hand combat is a bit out of my league.” She gave him her haughtiest glare.
Instead of accepting her set-down, he laughed. “If there were a battle of acid tongues, I don’t think any opponent would survive to round three against you.”
She couldn’t help the small smile that tilted her lips at his teasing. Damn, she was starting to like him. That wouldn’t do at all.
Taking a deep breath, she refocused. She’d come to the cottage to say something. The best thing to do would be to say it and get away from him. Back to the safety of the house where she could pretend he didn’t exist. Not that it had been working.
“Actually, I came here today to apologize to you.”
Both his eyebrows arched in surprise. “Really?”
“Yes.” She paced back and forth in front of the door. “I was very frightened when I didn’t know where you’d taken my son a few days ago. I became upset, but my anger wasn’t fair to you. The second I saw you with Jack, I knew you wouldn’t ever purposefully bring him physical harm.”
Of course, it was the accidental and emotional harm she feared more. But there was no use in saying that.
Simon pushed off the wall in much the same way he had in the stable those few days before. Her heart leapt with the memory. Would he kiss her now as he had then?
But he didn’t.
“Thank you. I never wanted to cause you upset.” He smiled down at her. “In fact, I owe you an apology, as well. I have let my baser instincts take over my control on two occasions. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of your fragile state and kissed you. No matter what I want, I had no right to act on my desire when it comes to you.”
Ginny leaned back in utter shock. Once again, he was making no excuses for what had occurred between them. In fact, he admitted he desired her, a fact that sent warmth spreading through her to her very toes.
She shrugged one shoulder and hoped he couldn’t see what an enormous effect he had on her. “I’ll admit my time since Henry’s death has been difficult-”
He nodded as he edged a bit closer. “That’s exactly what I mean. I never should have gone so far. I hope you can forgive that and perhaps we can try to be… friends?”
She looked up into his sea blue eyes. There was nothing disingenuous about his offer, even if she did still see his need flickering there. It made her feel all the worse that she still didn’t want his presence in her home. There were secrets he couldn’t discover and control she couldn’t relinquish.
“We’ll see.”
With a nod, she slipped from the cottage and hurried down the path toward the main house. Once she could see he wasn’t going to follow her, she slowed her pace to think.
No matter what she’d thought of the man at first blush, now she had to admire his sense of honor and responsibility. Unfortunately, those were the very things she would be forced to use against him. Because if she allowed him to get too close, he would undoubtedly find out the truth about the events of the night Henry died.
And if that happened, she could lose everything.
***
“I really must object to this entire idea, once again.”
Ginny glared at Harriet over the edge of her teacup before she smiled and waved across the veranda at Jack and his nanny. “Look at him. What other choice do I have? If Simon uncovers the truth, I could lose my son. I could lose everything I have. He has to go before he gets too close.”
Harriet shook her head as she waved her maid away. “But if you now realize he has honor, that’s a reason to trust him, not use that against him.”
Ginny shut her eyes with a sigh. Why did Harriet have to voice her very own thoughts? The ones that made her hot with shame. “Honor is all well and good, but it’s fleeting.”
“Not true honor.”
Ginny looked out over Harriet’s small estate with eyes that barely saw the beautiful lawn and small rose garden her friend insisted on tending herself.
“Henry was considered a man of honor by his peers. But the first time I felt the back of his hand against my cheek, I realized honor is something men use or not, as it suits them. Why shouldn’t I have some of that privilege for myself if it will save me or my child?”
Harriet pursed her lips as her eyes filled with tears. “Oh, you’ve been so hurt for so long. I hate how bitter it’s made you. I want you to be happy, but I fear you’re doing yourself more harm than good with the way you’re handling the situation with Simon Webber.”
Ginny ignored the continuing sting of truth that accompanied each and every one of her friend’s words and instead hardened her face and her heart. “I am not bitter, I’m clever.”
She pushed her plate away and stood up to pace to the veranda wall.
“Listen to what you’re saying and tell me if it doesn’t sound like bitterness.” Harriet crossed to her side and grabbed both Ginny’s hands. Her friend wouldn’t let her pull away when she tried. “This man is honorable, he’s kind,
and he admits he desires you. In response to all those things, you plot against him. You’re trying to find a way to use his desire, and your own, to push him away.”
Ginny frowned as she ducked her friend’s stare. The truth of the words collided with her own fears, but the fears were stronger. She’d learned from experience that only she could protect herself, not depend on family or friends or even the man who made her so weak, to help her.
She slowly extracted herself from Harriet’s grip. “I’m sorry you won’t help me, but I hope you won’t do anything to hinder me, either.”
With a purse of her lips, Harriet shook her head. “I’d never do anything to cause you pain.”
Ginny wrinkled her brow. That wasn’t exactly the promise she’d hoped for, but considering the circumstances, it was probably the best she would get. Harriet was torn by misguided trust and beliefs. It wasn’t her fault.
Ginny returned to her seat. “He wants to arrange the game of Pall Mall. Will you come?”
Harriet shrugged. “Will his famous valet, first-mate, best friend be the fourth in our group?”
Ginny nodded. “Yes. He’s a nice enough fellow, or at least he seemed to be when I met him. Not as handsome as Simon, of course, but pleasant.” She smiled as she remembered the stocky, rugged man. “He almost has a pirateish air to him.”
Harriet’s eyes grew wide. “Really? Well, if I’m to play croquet with a pirate, how can I turn down the invitation? I’ll be there whenever he wants us to play.”
Ginny sighed her relief. She needed Harriet’s support, even if her friend didn’t approve of or understand her methods.
“Thank you.” She gave her a brief hug. “I know you mean well.”
As she watched her son run across the lawn with a giggle, Ginny leaned back with a faded smile. Whether Harriet agreed or not, she was making the right decision. The doubts in her head were only caused by nervousness, not the fact that Simon made her knees quake or caused a strange stirring in her heart she’d thought would never exist again.
The Desires of a Countess Page 6