“You already have.”
Say what?
“I hated you for a long time. A long time. All that did was make me sick inside. I know you think I’m just a stupid kid but—”
“Not true.” I cut him off. No way in hell am I letting him believe for a second that I’ve ever seen him that way. It’s about damn time he knew the truth. “I think you’re my brother, Tristan. You’re just my brother.”
“Really?”
God. He’s got Belle’s eyes. It’s like I’m looking at the girl from my past all over again.
“Yes, really. I lived with Dean for so long that I actually started to believe that’s what a normal sibling relationship was like. Then, there you were. You used to look at me like I was some sort of God. It made me feel special. Then there’s the way you and Belle always were together. It wasn’t like Dean and I. The complete opposite actually. It made me wish you were my brother.”
“I can be.” He answers softly. “If you want.”
“You already are.”
“I’m sorry, Kayden.”
“No, Tris. Brothers don’t do that to each other. It’s a rule and I broke it. I’m the one that’s sorry. So god damned sorry.”
I don’t have a lot of experience with hugs outside of my mom and then later on, Belle and her mom, but I’m pretty sure with the way he throws himself into me, this might be the best damn hug I’ve ever gotten.
There’s no thought that goes into it before it’s done. It’s loose until he’s got a grip and then it’s tight. Warm. So warm that every part of you is affected by it. Its innocent and real and the longer he holds his position, the longer I want to keep it there.
I’ve experienced so damn much over the last three years, things that I wouldn’t change for anything, but Tristan hugging me now, he’s giving me something new. Something that no one else in the world will ever be able to give me.
He’s giving me the chance to be a brother. To do it right this time.
“Okay, enough of this.” I joke when he pulls back, wiping a hand across my eyes when he lowers his gaze to the book. “Did you pick what you wanted to watch?”
“Did you really go puddle jumping in the rain with Belle when you were my age?” He switches gears.
Looking down at the year on the page, I shake my head. “No. When I was your age, I was…well, I wasn’t there. This was a couple of years before that though, and yeah, I did it. Loved it too.”
“Do you think you’d like doing it now?”
“Don’t know. Haven’t had the chance to do it, but can’t see why not. Why?”
“The next time it rains, I think we should do it.”
“You and me?”
It’s his turn to shake his head and the way his hair whips from side to side as he does it makes me remember just how unruly mine used to be when I was his age.
“You, me and Belle.”
“You got a deal, Tris. But only if you pick two movies and meet me on the sofa in five minutes.”
“Why five minutes?” he asks, looking up and cocking his head to the side. Another move he’s perfected from living with Belle for so long.
“Because me and this book,” I say, tapping on the cover. “Are going to go out there to talk Belle into getting some rain boots.”
I already know it won’t take any convincing for her to agree to this, but I don’t want to tell him that.
The truth is, I just want the five minutes alone with her so I can show her the moment that nine year old Kayden made everything right again.
Chapter Nine
May 21, 2006
You know how people tell you that accidents happen and usually it’s because you made some boneheaded mistake and they don’t want you to feel bad about it?
I freaking love accidents!
Today was wicked. Like beyond epic, and it all started because my mom and Miss Grace made this tiny little mistake.
“Kayden, don’t forget your jacket!” Mom said before we left and I didn’t forget it, but I did forget to put my boots on.
That was the first mistake. The second one was when we stepped out the door, made it all the way across the street to meet Belle and her mom and we left the house without our umbrellas.
See? Moms can screw up too.
We got halfway to the park and the sky just exploded! Grace told my mom that God was having a laugh at our expense by throwing buckets of water down on us.
You know what I think? I think that just like the day at the park with Belle, he was trying to give us another great day.
Mom told me once that Belle doesn’t really react well to temperature changes, so when it got cold and she stopped walking with me and went to her mom’s side, it made sense. It’s what happened when the rain started pouring down, making little rivers on the sidewalks that turned this mistake our moms made into the best thing ever.
She giggled. Like super loud, top of her lungs laughing!
So I laughed too and that’s when it happened.
Belle whipped around super-fast, caught me, and in the time it took me to blink, ran close to me and jumped.
Splashing water all over my new pants, my jacket, and my shoes.
So I paid her back.
I jumped too!
We just kept jumping and laughing, and when I slipped and fell, she laughed even harder.
Her laugh is the best thing ever.
Way better than cars, cartoons on the weekend or playing basketball and hockey with Dean when he’s not being a total asshead.
My mom yelled at us to stop screwing around, Grace did the same until she laughed and called us drowned rats, but we didn’t care. We just kept jumping and having fun. We didn’t stop until we made sure they were as wet as we were.
But the best part happened when the rain stopped.
She fell.
Okay so that’s not the good part and I didn’t laugh then, but what happened after was.
When I held out my hand for her to take, so I could help her up, she did it!
Belle doesn’t like when I touch her. She moves away every time and it makes my stomach hurt when she does. It didn’t happen this time though.
This time she took it and she didn’t let go.
Even when my mom said it was time to go home a couple hours later, she didn’t let go.
I didn’t want her to.
Her hand was soft. Nice. Least it was until I started sweating like a pig.
Anyways, her doing that makes this the best day ever.
One I wanna remember forever, which is why I’m writing it here. Because I swear, when I’m bigger, I’m going to do it with her again.
Puddle jumping, hand holding, laughing.
All of it.
But there’s something else I wanna do when I’m bigger.
With her skin all shiny from the raindrops, I’m going to pull her to me and kiss her.
I know that I said girls were gross and I’d never want to kiss them. They still are, and that’s still true, but not Belle.
She’s what my teacher Miss Smith called me when she asked Mr. Franks to help me with math.
Belle’s the exception.
“Tristan read this?” she asks. “The whole thing?”
“Not sure how far he got into it, but yeah, he must have read pretty far if he knows about the puddle jumping.”
“And you two talked through everything?”
“Not everything, but the fact that he talked to me at all, let alone opened up the way he did, is a step in the right direction. I mean, I feel like I might actually fix this when I was starting to think he would never forgive me.”
“I told you he loved you, didn’t I?” she says with a smirk. “It’s fun when I’m right.”
“Yes, baby. You were right. You’re always right and I should know that by now.” I concede with a laugh, more than happy to let her have her moment.
“Yes, you should.” She grins, moving in until she’s pressing her lips delicately against mine. “
You should always listen to your know-it-all girlfriend.”
“Fiancée.” I softly correct her and with the proximity of her mouth to mine, I can feel the rise of her face as her smile grows.
“Everything.” She counters as her fingers tap against the cover of the journal. The motion a gentle reminder of the last words I’d written.
“Yes, Belle. You’ve always been, and will always be, everything.” I admit, nipping at her bottom lip with my teeth, bringing her to me, kissing her again, our tastes mingling and about to deepen it when a throat clearing slams the brakes on.
“I said you’d be doing this!” Tristan whines once we separate, and stomping across the room, shoves the movies he’s chosen at me while Belle buries her face in my neck and laughs.
“It’s her fault. If she wasn’t so damn cute, I wouldn’t need to kiss her every five seconds.”
“Yeah, right.” Tristan scoffs before moving across and throwing himself down on the sofa beside Belle. “Girls are gross.”
“Tristan! They are not.” Belle exclaims, turning to me and pouting.
Damnit. She knows exactly what buttons to push with me.
“She’s got a point, man.” I lean over and tell him. “But for the record, they were all gross to me too. Well, everyone but your sister.” I add when Belle’s elbow lifts and shoves against my side playfully.
“Yeah, I know. I read all about how much you loooove Belle.”
With the way Tristan is rolling his eyes and fake gagging, I’m starting to see what Dillon meant by me being whipped.
“Alright, enough teasing Kayden. I think it’s sweet.” Belle says, turning her attention to the movies in my hand and then looking back to Tristan.
“Evil Dead? Really, Tris? Of all the movies we own, you want that one?”
“The bloodier the better.” He grins.
“Two against one, baby.” I say before reaching over and lifting my hand in the air. Tristan catching on and high fiving me before we both lean back and laugh at Belle as her eyes narrow and she pinches her nose and sighs.
“Fine, but when you’re on the knees in the bathroom puking later because of all of the goo coming out of those people, I’m not helping.”
Plucking her Kindle from the arm of the sofa, she stands, leaning over and kissing me softly before heading off down the hall to our room.
“Sorry for the cock-block.” Tristan nudges me before turning his attention to the TV.
“I don’t even wanna know where you learned that word.”
“No, you don’t.”
“It was Dillon wasn’t it?”
“I was sworn to secrecy.”
Well, if I had any doubt who taught him what a cock block was, I don’t anymore. Only Dillon would be stupid enough to swear someone to secrecy. Rolling my eyes with a grunt and taking the movies over to the DVD player, I slip the disc in and when I turn to head back to the sofa, making sure to take the long way around to grab the popcorn Belle made for us, he switches gears.
“So what did she say about puddle jumping?”
“Nothing. I never got the chance to ask her before you interrupted.”
“If you spent more time talking and less time trying to stick your tongue down my sister’s throat, she would have answered.” He smirks.
“Shut it.” I swat the back of his head. “I didn’t get into it because I’m thinking it might mean more if she doesn’t see it coming.”
“You mean you wanna surprise her? Kayden…”
“I know she doesn’t like surprises, but Tris, this one’s different.”
Pushing play on the DVD, I turn my attention to the movie as it starts, the opening credits scrolling by. After a few minutes, Tristan finally clears his throat and speaks. Letting me know when he does that he’s been on the same page the entire time.
“It’s supposed to rain tomorrow.”
Then tomorrow it is.
It’s time to make nine year old Kayden’s wish come true.
I’m going to kiss her in the rain.
Chapter Ten
If someone had pulled me aside ten years ago and told me that one day in the future, I was going to be lucky enough to wake up with an angel, and better yet, that witnessing it every day after was going to be a bigger jolt to my system than a coffee in the morning, I would have laughed.
Back then, my biggest worry was what terror level color I was going to hit with Dean when he found out the shit I was causing.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be with someone, because deep down I think everyone wants that. It was more that I didn’t believe it was something I deserved.
I guess when everyone that is supposed to give a shit about you walks out of your life and leaves you on your own with someone that on a good day can make the devil look like an angel, it’s hard to see there being any other way things can go.
You accept that you’re destined to be alone.
Only here I am, sharing not only a room and a bed with said angel, but I get the luxury of turning over in bed each morning and being met with the peaceful beauty of her face while she’s still safe and secure in whatever hopeful dream she’s currently dreaming.
Getting to use the few minutes before she senses my movement and wakes up, to really take her in. Things that when once we’re up and moving and going about our day, I don’t get to experience.
Like the way the stress lines in her face when she’s buried in her course work is basically non-existent and her skin is evened out and feathery soft to the touch. Or feel the tickle that never fails to send a shiver through me when like every other day that’s come before, I slip a fallen tendril of her hair through my fingers and slip it gingerly behind her ear.
My favorite part though, what really resonates and keeps me rooted firmly in place, the soft sigh that escapes when following the routine of the last year, I press my lips to her forehead, lingering for just a few second until the feel of her breath and her smile as it touches my skin pulls me away.
“Morning, Kay.”
Brushing my nose against hers softly, I place my lips right on the tip and smile down at her.
“Morning, beautiful.”
“You were doing it again, weren’t you?”
Nothing gets by my girl. “Maaybe.”
Reaching up and running a hand over the stubble on my face, she shifts up and nuzzles into it, sighing contentedly.
“I could get used to this look on you. You’re becoming my very own teddy bear.”
“Well, in that case,” I softly chuckle. “I’m never shaving again.”
“Mmmm, okay.”
Shifting back on the bed, I tap the mattress a few times before reluctantly pulling away. If the plan Tristan and I put together last night is going to happen, we’ve got to get a move on.
With the weatherman actually getting it right for once and the rain pelting heavily into the roof above us, no doubt filling the streets with plenty of puddles for us to jump in, I don’t want to waste a second.
“Rise and shine, baby. We’ve got places to be and people to conquer.”
“We’re taking over the world today, are we?” she asks, stretching out on the bed and groaning before sliding herself up and waking with a quick rub to her eyes.
“Same as every other day.”
“Is Tristan up yet?”
“Not sure. I was about to go check.”
“Can you turn the kettle on while you’re out there?”
“Don’t I always?”
Gifting me with one of the sweetest smiles, she nods and that’s all it takes for me to turn back from the door, cross the room in the time it takes her to blink and lean down to where she rests against the headboard, bringing my hand to her face and pulling her lips to mine.
Sorry, God. You can’t have her back. This angel is all mine.
Slapping me lightly when I finally break the kiss, she points to the door.
“Unless you want to spend the rest of this day in bed, go check on Tristan.”
“Wait. You mean to tell me staying in bed all day with you is an option?” I tease.
“Not anymore. Time ran out.”
“Fuck.” I curse and when she giggles again, I press my luck and swoop in for another quick kiss.
“Go, Kayden.”
“I’m going. I just needed another taste to keep me going until later.”
Meeting the smirk on my face with one of her own, she points to the door again, all attempts at keeping a straight face failing when after a few seconds of attempted shooing, she cracks and laughs.
“Go make my tea or I’ll withhold all future taste testing.”
I’ve never left a room faster in my life.
*****
“How the hell are we going to get her out there?” Tristan whispers across the table once Belle has disappeared into the kitchen.
“I’m working on that.”
“Yeah right.” He calls me on my lie. “You’re as stumped as I am. Maybe we should just tell her.”
No way. If I tell her, she’ll be expecting everything that happens. The kiss won’t be a surprise. I know it’s pretty much impossible to get anything past this girl, but this one thing, I really want to get over on her.
“I’ve got an idea, but it means getting help.”
“What kind of help?”
“Your mom.”
Realization dawns and just like that he’s throwing his chair back from the table and racing back to the room. Forking up the last few bites of the remaining scrambled eggs on my plate up, I shove it in my mouth, swallowing it down quickly before pushing back from the table.
Taking my plate in and running it under the spray of the sink, I load it into the dishwasher and press my lips quickly to the top of her head.
“Where’s Tris?”
“He thought he heard his phone so he went to get it.”
As if he heard what I said or just read my mind, Tristan reappears and just like I hoped, does so with the phone outstretched toward his sister.
What Lies Beneath (Count On Me Series Book 7) Page 7