He winks at me as he looks around the theatre, obviously taking in a large female audience number. “I had a hunch.”
The theatre is packed by the time the movie begins. We both end up shoulder to shoulder—the people sitting next to each of us smothering us together.
“No crying.” He leans down and whispers against my ear. I look up at the grin he’s sporting. He so did this on purpose.
“That goes for you, too.”
“That won’t be a problem.” His face is firm, not giving anything away. It’s the first time I’ve seen this particular expression. I couldn’t tell what it was—remorse, maybe? His jaw is tense and his eyes are locked on mine.
The buzzing of my phone breaks me from his stare. I grab it from my pocket and see it’s a text from Brandon.
Brandon: 45 days until school starts…45 days too long.
Me: You’re counting?
Brandon: Counting the days until I see my beautiful girlfriend again, yes. I can’t wait, baby. I miss you so much.
My heart aches at his words. God, what am I doing? Is Cora right? Should I tell him I’ve been hanging out with Bentley? Knowing Brandon he’d be totally trustworthy.
Forty-five days. Was that it? How had this summer flown by so fast without me realizing it?
I glance up at Bentley who’s watching the screen. I’ve let myself get completely distracted between our kickboxing classes and hanging out as friends. But were we? Friends?
It was like a switch. Once Bentley kissed me and confessed everything to me, I had turned that part of my heart off. But now it was definitely back on. He’s the one it’s beating for. He’s the one I’ve let back into my life when I have a boyfriend waiting for me.
The realization of what I’ve done and how I’m feeling hits me right in the gut. After last year, I had tried really hard to get over Bentley. I needed to get over Bentley. But now, here he was. Next to me.
I sink down in my seat, having no choice but to curl up next to him. The heat radiating off his chest burns into me. I know I’ve been ignoring my attraction to him. My feelings are still there and I know I’ve been lying to myself every moment I’ve allowed myself to spend time with him.
I swallow roughly as I think about the position I’ve put myself in. Why the hell did I let myself go along with his little ‘friends only’ charade? Had I secretly wished for more this whole time?
I think about Brandon and how he’s the perfect guy for me. He’s sweet, caring, smart—he’s the boy next door any girl would be lucky to have.
And then there’s Bentley.
The forbidden fruit.
Brandon is the obvious choice—the safe choice. He’d take my heart and guard it for the rest of his life, never causing me any heartbreak or pain.
Bentley was like a rollercoaster. One minute my hands would be up in the air, enjoying the high, and the next I’d be curled over hurling my guts out at the nausea my stomach was feeling. Bentley was the dangerous choice—the tempting choice.
Bentley wraps his arm around my shoulders, leaning closer to me. My heart quickens at the small gesture, but my entire body feels it. God, how does he have this affect on me? Still.
I try to convince myself it’s natural. Bentley was my first…love. I never told him that though. Perhaps I should’ve, but what good would it have done? It would’ve only hurt worse when everything blew up.
I try to focus on the movie and soon tears are streaming down my cheeks. They come forcefully and without notice, but I continue watching because I don’t want Bentley to see me like this. I can’t even tell which tears these are—for Hazel and Augustus, or for Bentley.
“Hey,” he whispers, so close to my ear I feel his lips vibrate against my skin. “You all right?” I hear the sincerity in his voice, so smooth, so soothing.
I look up at him, tears evident as they mark my cheeks on their way down my face. How did I miss it this entire time? I had built my Bentley towers up, hoping to avoid feeling like this ever again, yet here I was completely smitten and uncontrollably in love with him.
I smile weakly at him and nod. “Yeah…I just know what’s coming.”
He presses his palm to my cheek, wiping away the tears with his thumb. He lets it linger there as our eyes lock, lust and desperation potent in his touch. Bentley’s the reason I have any answers about my father at all, the reason I get to open his lock box in a year. He was always much more than a friend to me, and I don’t know why I refused to see it before.
Brandon.
I curse under my breath as I remind myself what I’m doing and who I’m with. Brandon is amazing, and I could really see myself with him for a long time, perhaps even a lifetime, but I’m not sure I could live with the what if’s…the unknown if I just gave in and went for it.
I sink into his touch, telling him everything with my eyes. I’m not this person, or at least I’m not now. I had worked on becoming a better person, not one that lied and manipulated people for their own personal gain. But looking back, I know I wouldn’t do it any different. I was determined to find information about my dad and it brought me here. It brought me some closure and that’s more than I could have ever asked for.
“Bentley.” It comes out as a whimper and I know he feels it, too. I bite my lip to keep myself from melting completely under him. “I’m fine now.” I nod my head so he knows he can take his hand off me.
I wipe my hand under my other eye, needing to compose myself. I’m pretty certain our ‘platonic friendship’ just went out the window.
The drive back to my house is quiet. Neither one of us knows what to say. I cried my eyes out at the end—uncontrollable, breathless sobbing. I’m sure Bentley thought it was due to the movie, but some of it wasn’t. I had decided to let Bentley go. This friendship couldn’t exist anymore.
He opens my door for me, and I let him take my hand as he escorts me out. Usually, we’d be laughing and joking around, but something had shifted tonight. I can feel every movement he makes deep within me. My heart thumping rapidly against my chest—rising and falling with every gesture Bentley makes. My body is fully aware of him and how he’s making me feel. And I can’t…I just can’t. I’m too conflicted. Letting him wedge his way back into my life is one thing, but giving up everything I worked so hard for the past two years could do me more damage than before.
“Thanks for the movie. It was amazingly heartbreaking.” I grin shyly up at him. I need to say goodbye. For good this time.
“It was my pleasure, Ceci. Surprisingly, I enjoyed the movie.”
I laugh lightly. “I bet that hurt to admit.”
“Yeah, I’ve kind of lost my man card. But oh, well. It was worth it.” His eyes are intense as they burn into mine. I blink and shift them away, unable to directly look at him.
I stand there, stumbling over my own thoughts. I can’t let him think anything’s wrong with me, so I go for the casual routine before bailing—a quick kiss on the cheek and a friendly goodbye hug. I can do this.
“Well, good night,” I say breathy, feeling like my brain is running out of oxygen as I take him in. The wind picks up and blows my hair up, sending his scent directly into me. God. He smells so fucking good. Mixed with his perfectly snug jeans and dark blue shirt, he could convince the blind to jump him like a wild tiger.
“Goodnight, Ceci.” His smirk forms into a devilish grin before he leans into me, giving me my chance to kiss his cheek and hopefully, walk away without melting into a hysterical round of sobbing fits.
Before my body reaches his, he has me pinned against his Range Rover. Each one of his hands is gripping my wrist, holding them up against my head. His mouth is on me before I can protest, his tongue licking inside my lips demanding entrance.
My mind doesn’t fully wrap around what’s happening before it’s too late. My mouth invites him in, our tongues reuniting and fighting for control. His lips move around mine desperate and eager as if it would physically pain him to let them go. His hands release my wrist a
s one grips the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him. The other hand wraps around me, his palm flat against the small of my back. His fingers press into the flesh, pleading with me to say the words he’s secretly begging me to say.
Bentley is a man who likes to hold control, but he wants to know it’s exactly what I want.
My hands lay flat against his chest, not sure if it’s to push him away or to grip his shirt and pull him closer. I can’t think when his mouth is on me. My mind is spinning at what I want and what I should want.
Perhaps I need to just stop thinking altogether.
“Take me to your place.”
Chapter Fifteen
Bentley
I CAN’T GET my keys out of the door fast enough. Stumbling, I finally jerk the door open and press Ceci to my chest. I kick the door shut and throw my keys to the ground. I crush my mouth to hers, feeling the heat, and electricity spiral between us. I’ve craved her taste for over two years—her palpable desire—that belongs only to me.
I lead her down the dark hallway to my room, lips and body parts fighting to touch every surface. She whimpers against my mouth, earning a moan from deep within my throat. God. I’ve been dreaming about this for too fucking long. It doesn’t seem real right now, but I’m going to take my time with her—reunite with every inch of her body.
I grab the hem of her shirt and break away just long enough to pull it over her head. My lips find hers again as I grab the bottom of her ass and pull her up, legs wrapping around my waist. I place her on the edge of my bed, my body pressing on top of hers. I feel her crumbling underneath me, soaking up everything I’m giving her.
“You know I’m not doing this without hearing you say it first,” I growl against her ear, my left hand gripping her breast through her bra. She arches her back as my mouth kisses her neck, marking exactly where I’ve been and where I always want to be. “You need to say it,” I repeat, squeezing her breast harder.
“Bentley. Mm…god.” Her voice is pleading, but it’s not good enough.
I bend in between her legs and slowly unzip her jeans. I let my finger play with the button, finally popping it and exposing her barely-there panties.
I drop my mouth just above the panty-line and suck her skin hard. She moans as her body arches off the bed to meet my greedy lips.
“I need to know you want this, Ceci. If you want it, you’re going to have to beg for it.”
“I-I thought we were just friends…” she whimpers weakly as I begin ripping my own shirt off. She’s delusional if she thought we were just friends.
My lips continue grazing her skin, slowly brushing her panties down so my mouth can explore lower. I feel goose bumps rise as she shudders underneath me.
“We weren’t friends, Ceci,” I growl, roughly. I lower to my knees, yanking her pants down with me. I loop a finger in her panties and pull them to the side. As soon as I see her perfect, taut pink pussy, my mouth is on her. A moan rumbles up my throat as I inhale her scent and taste the deliciousness that is she. “We were never just friends.”
Her hands fist in my hair, squeezing with every lick my tongue drives into her. God, she tastes so fucking good. Better than I remember—if that’s even possible.
I press my hands into her hips, forcing her to arch them up deeper into my mouth. She screams out at the intensity my mouth is causing her.
“Sweetheart,” I say, slowly licking my tongue up her stomach. “I need to hear you say it.”
“Say what?” she asks, breathy.
I smile, amused, because I know she fucking knows. “Say it, Ceci,” I demand, my tongue making its way to her bra, yanking it down to cover her nipple with my lips. I suck hard, getting a mumbled moan out of her. My hand reaches down to her swollen clit, rubbing my thumb in circles as she convulses. Her body jerks as she gets closer to release, but I slow down before she can.
And then, just before I pick the pace back up, her entire body jerks, moving out from under me.
“Stop,” she pleads. She pushes her hands roughly against my chest as she rolls away from me. She swings her legs off the bed, frantically looking for her clothes.
I’m off the bed and in front of her before she can put any clothing on. “What happened?” My voice is eager and worried I’m going to lose her.
“I-I can’t do this.” She shakes her head, but I’m not sure if she’s shaking it at herself or me. Her eyes are blinking more than normal, and I can tell she’s having an inner battle, one I’m sure I won’t be winning this time.
“Talk to me.” I grab her chin and force her to look up at me, her eyes swelling with tears.
“I don’t want to be this person, Bentley. I have a boyfriend.” Her breathing is rapid, her chest falling and rising quickly. Fuck.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, but I’m not apologizing for that.
“Please, take me home.” She pulls out of my grip and leans down to grab her shirt off the floor.
“You don’t have to go home, Ceci. We can talk,” I say sincerely. I don’t want us to leave on bad terms. This is the last fucking thing I intended.
“I don’t want to talk. I just…I need to think.”
“What’s there to think about? You know how I feel about you.”
She spins around, her face tense and bright red. “You broke me!” she screams. She shakes her head, defeated. “I loved you and you broke me. You let me walk away and you never told me how you really felt. If you loved me, you would’ve fought for me,” she declares, angrily. “And now it’s too late! I gave my heart away to someone else.”
Insert a hundred daggers into my fucking heart.
She gave it away to someone else?
I’m firing with anger. She has this all wrong.
“I broke you?” I question, loudly. “Well, you destroyed me! You were the only one I’ve ever loved, Ceci, and letting you walk away was the only thing I could do to make sense of how I felt about you.”
She freezes in place, the blood drains from her face as she responds. “You loved me?”
I close the gap between us and grab her arms, jerking her body toward me. “Yes,” I growl. “I still love you.”
Tears begin falling down her cheeks, her eyes staring up at me in shock. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited to hear that?” she sobs. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“I was scared,” I admit. “Hannah fucked me over so bad. I didn’t want to get close to another person. I didn’t think I wanted to love.”
Her tears come faster as she chokes on sobs. I brush her tears away and lay a gentle kiss on her lips.
“I need some time.”
I swallow hard. That’s probably the worst fucking thing a girl can say. “How much?”
“I don’t know. Everything we do now will be tainted. It’s not fair to Brandon.”
Motherfucker. I didn’t need to know his goddamn name. My hands ball into fists imagining her being with someone else. The thought puts me into a blinding rage, my body fiery with jealousy and anger.
“Let’s go.”
I walk past her, scooping my shirt off the floor and pulling it over my head. I find my keys on the floor and dart out the door, Ceci not far behind me.
* * *
I don’t know what to feel once I drop her off at her house with neither of us knowing what to say.
I tell her to call me when she’s ready right before she walks out—for god knows how long.
I can’t blame her really. I should never have let it get that far, knowing she has a fucking boyfriend. One that apparently doesn’t live here, because she’s been spending her free nights with me. With me.
I can’t go home. Not with the scent of her still lingering in my place, reminding me that I can’t have her and that she isn’t mine.
I drive to the gym—the only place I can go when I feel like this. I let myself in and lock it back up. Maya doesn’t usually mind as long as I remember to shut everything down when I’m done.
I hit the ba
g hard, working on kicks and punches as the music blasts through the stereo system. When I’ve had enough, I move to the treadmill and run five miles. Before I got into kickboxing, I began working out a lot and really got into running. It was soothing and helped clear my head, however now, my head was anything but clear.
I drink some water and recharge, not yet done. My body is buzzing as the pain intensifies, but I don’t care. It’s not enough. I go to the weight room and work on my arms, legs, and abs. My blood is pumping fiercely through my veins, my body burning with pain.
I finally collapse on the floor, panting for air as my chest rises and falls rapidly. It’s the most intense workout I’ve ever had, and I still can’t get the taste of her out of my mouth.
That was ten days ago.
And not one fucking word.
Chapter Sixteen
Cecilia
WHEN THE HELL did he fall in love with me? Why did he never tell me?
God, this was such a damn mess!
I collapse on my bed, my eyes sore and bloodshot. I don’t want to cry anymore. I hate crying. I just want to crawl into a ball and have my dad make everything better.
He’s been on my mind more and more as the ‘date’ gets closer. For two years, since Bentley’s told me about his gambling addiction and opening the lock box after ten years, my life’s been in limbo—just waiting for the day until I get all the answers that I’ve been begging for. At least, I hope that’s what I’ll get. There has to be something in that box that puts all the pieces together.
I wake up the next morning not feeling any better. I’m not even sure I slept.
I grab my phone off the dresser and see three text messages. All from Brandon. Crap.
Brandon: I was thinking of making a road trip down to see you. I have a few days off work. What do you think? Could you get a day or two off?
Brandon: Baby? You there?
Brandon: You must be at work, or asleep. Either way, I miss you. I can’t stop thinking about you. I hope to see you soon. Xoxo
The Intern Serials: Complete Box Set Page 25