“Guess you don’t do much entertaining here.” The words popped out before he could stop them. He meant entertaining as in parties, but if she took it to mean something else, yeah, he’d like to know that, too. Juliet was still his wife and he’d honored their wedding vows the entire time they were apart.
He wasn’t quite sure why he had since he hadn’t planned to stay married to her and had made her no promises when he’d left, but he had made those promises before God and the Justice, and he was nothing if not a man of his word.
But that meant he’d been frustrated for a really long time, and here he was in his wife’s home, wondering if she’d entertained anyone else here.
“I really don’t have time to throw parties. I studied all the time I wasn’t in class so I could graduate as quickly as possible with both degrees. Then I had to learn the business, and now, with what’s going on with Nana and the demands at the office, I really don’t have time.”
Didn’t answer his question about dating, but what was the answer going to do for him? If she had dated someone, the guy wasn’t here so he obviously didn’t mean enough to her to be that guy. And the fact that Tanner was here…
Hang on. He didn’t want to mean that much to her anymore. They’d outgrown each other. Their relationship. Their marriage. They were both going to have to move on, and once the divorce was final, Tanner could move on and be free to pursue whatever—and whoever—he wanted without worrying about breaking his vow.
Isn’t divorce breaking it though?
It would be if he’d entered into the marriage of his own free will, but he’d been put up to it at a metaphorical gunpoint. When it was over and done, he’d be over and done with Juliet.
The thought burned its way through his chest. “Where’s my bathroom?”
She pointed to a door on the right. “Our bathroom is through there.”
“You only have one?”
“Up ’til now, I only had one person here. I guess I could rent a port-a-potty for your stay if you like, but you’ll have to use the hose out back for a shower—and I don’t have hot water out there.”
It wouldn’t matter; he’d be taking cold showers the entire time he was here anyway.
Share a bathroom with her? God help him. He remembered every one of her lotions and soaps and shampoos. They all smelled like bluebonnets—a scent that had significant memories attached to it for both of them and a certain field…
Staying here was becoming a worse idea by the minute.
“I put new sheets on the bed and a set of towels on your dresser.” She slapped her hands to her side. “So if you want to go freshen up or relax or take a nap or anything before three, you can.”
“What are you going to be doing?”
“Me?” She practically squeaked the question.
Hmmm, despite her outward calm, he’d bet Juliet wasn’t as comfortable sharing her home with him anymore than he was sharing it with her.
“I have some contracts to go over.”
“You’re going into the office?”
“Oh no. The house might not look like much, but it’s wired for high-speed Internet. I do a lot of work from home.”
Great. He wasn’t going to get much of a break from her if she didn’t leave the house.
Then he would.
“I should have rented a car at the airport and driven here. Where’s the closest place to get one?”
“You can borrow mine. I trust you to take care of it.”
Was there a hidden meaning to that statement? Tanner wasn’t sure. But then, the Juliet he’d grown up with hadn’t known the meaning of the word subtle when it’d come to the two of them. She’d been all-in from the first time they’d looked at each other that way. He’d never had to guess what she was thinking or feeling. He especially never doubted how she’d felt about him so he couldn’t figure out why she had doubted him.
He shook his head. It didn’t matter now. That Juliet no longer existed. This Juliet, the one who’d grown up, gone to college—gotten an MBA before him—he didn’t know her. For all that he’d said she hadn’t changed, she had in some things. Juliet the Prom Queen wasn’t going to buckle down and run Daddy’s company; she was going to marry someone who would, and she’d spend the money by going to lunch and shopping with her girlfriends.
And he’d been ready to sign on for that.
Tanner shook his head. God, how naïve he’d been back then. He’d had his head in the clouds.
Now it was firmly back on earth. “But what if you need it?”
“Tanner, where do you need to go? Are you planning to look up all our friends and hang out for hours on end like we used to?”
That thought hadn’t even crossed his mind. He hated that people knew what had happened between him and Juliet. He hated that they knew he’d been poised to go big in football and then hadn’t. That he’d had a son… and then hadn’t. “I don’t like being stuck. If I want to run out, I want to run out.”
“Okay, okay. We’ll stop in town on our way home from the ranch later. For now, if you want to go anywhere, use my car.” She tossed him the keys. “I’ve got reports to go over.”
And just like that, she left him standing there as she headed into what he assumed was either her home office or her bedroom or both. Whatever it was, it was around the corner and she was gone from his sight.
He felt the lack immediately.
And he hated that he did. He’d worked hard at getting Juliet out of his head. Actually went a day or two now without thinking about her. Well, not lately because he had the daily countdown going on that guaranteed he’d think about her, but for the past few years, yeah. He’d managed to not think about her a lot.
But when he did think about her…
Tanner plunked his hat on his head then hiked his bag, purposely hitting himself in the nuts. That’d teach his dick to get all happy thinking about Juliet. Fantasizing about her was one thing; being in proximity to her and hoping something would happen was insane. She’d messed up his life enough already. In thirty-eight days, he was getting it back.
Chapter Seven
She wasn’t giving him back.
Juliet leaned against the doorframe to her office and counted to ten. Slowly. She needed to get her heart rate under control so the blood would stop rushing to her head—and other parts. Her body needed to calm the hell down.
She couldn’t believe he was in her house. What it felt like to have him in her house. She’d always enjoyed the coziness of this place—had wanted something small and intimate after the sprawling ranch she’d grown up in. The one where she’d planned to live with Tanner. This place was as different from the ranch as could be. But then she’d brought him here.
At over six feet tall, Tanner filled her living room. Though, honestly, Tanner could be four feet tall and his charisma would still fill it. He had always owned whatever room he’d walked into. She’d forgotten that. Or rather, she hadn’t forgotten, she just hadn’t remembered it until he’d been standing here.
He belonged here. With her. In this space. And not in the bedroom across the hall, but here, in the room off her office with her king-sized bed—the one her grandmother had bought them for their wedding that she hadn’t been able to part with. Stupid, really, because Tanner had never slept in it.
Maybe that was why she could.
Juliet took another shuddering breath. Good lord, this was going to be difficult. She had to pretend to him that his presence didn’t drive her wild, but she had to prove otherwise to her grandmother. And both of them knew her so well, she hoped she could pull this off, both for Nana’s sake and her own.
Well, and Tanner’s as well. She’d made him happy once; she could again. But it was going to take a lot more than come-hither looks under her lashes or sexy sashays or cute clothing that teased at what it hid—
Though why not take advantage of what she already knew caught his attention?
Tanner might think he hated her—might actually hate her, she was forced to
admit—but everyone knew physical attraction didn’t always listen to the dictates of the heart and mind. Physical attraction had a mind all its own and if that was what would get him to see her again, notice her, she’d be a fool not to use it.
She’d stopped being a fool seven years ago.
She pushed off the wall. She hadn’t thought much beyond their cover story and getting him here, but now, the reality of having him in her home, day in and day out, was starting to sink in. If she wanted Tanner back—and there was no question that she did—she had one last chance. She couldn’t blow it.
Tanner blew out a breath as he tossed his hat onto the dresser then dropped his bag onto the bed and sat on the edge of the mattress.
The place screamed Juliet.
Nothing so overt as putting her picture all over the place—Juliet wouldn’t do that; she wasn’t stuck on herself. No, the room had that Juliet feel, because she’d decorated it as if she’d known he was going to come here.
His favorite shade of blue had been the slate blue of her eyes. Yes, he’d actually said those corny words to her, but they’d been true. The comforter was that exact shade. The hardwood floors were the color of the floors in his bedroom growing up—where they’d snuck her into more times than they should have risked. The chair in the corner looked like the one in his parents’ den, and the pictures on the walls were of the Guadalupe Mountains he’d fallen in love with on a camping trip freshman year. The room was masculine without being overtly so, yet still felt as if it belonged in a woman’s home. Juliet’s home.
He should have stayed in a hotel. Should have insisted that they both stay there if she wanted everyone to think they were together. He would have rented a suite with a connecting door—one that would have stayed locked. He didn’t need this temptation. Then again, Juliet, to him, was walking temptation.
He fell back onto the bed and looked at the ceiling. She’d covered it in textured wallpaper and painted it light pewter—like his mother had in the guest bathroom.
Either Juliet had planned to bring him here for a long time, or she really liked this décor.
He wanted to think it was the latter because the former would mean she was up to her old tricks of lying to him.
He rubbed his eyes with a thumb and forefinger, wincing. He still couldn’t believe how she’d lied to him. How she’d struggled to hold on to him when all she’d had to do to keep him was love him and be honest with him.
He sat up. Not going there. It was done. Over. He’d hoped to end the marriage without having to see her again, but he had a soft spot for her grandmother, so here he was. He’d deal with it.
Smacking his thighs, Tanner stood. He wasn’t about to take a nap with Juliet across the hall. He had no idea how he was supposed to sleep here tonight. That ought to be fun.
Not.
He moved his bag onto the dresser—he wasn’t going to put his clothes in the drawers, still holding out some weird hope for a miracle that would keep him from having to stay here.
Get a grip, Wentworth. You’re stuck for the duration.
Damn it—his heart actually leapt or fluttered or whatever the hell that feeling was when he thought about being stuck with Juliet. Time was, he’d wanted nothing more.
Damn it. History couldn’t repeat itself; Juliet was bad news and he needed to just let her go.
Let her go.
The words sounded harsh. Painful.
Empty.
He shook his head. Needed to clear it. He’d go splash some cold water on his face. His wrists. Back of his neck. His dick. That’d wake him up. Get him out of this stupor. Had to be all the traveling. He’d gotten up God-awful early this morning to get here at a reasonable hour.
He dragged his hand along the half-wall by the kitchen and walked around to the sink. Closer than the bathroom, and therefore, not as close to Juliet.
“Hey, Tanner.” Juliet came around the corner from her room just as he splashed water on his face. Which meant he missed and ended up wearing most of it on his head and dripping down his back. Ah, well, nothing like cold water to dissipate the heat she dragged into the room with her.
Well, in theory it did.
Juliet’s legs in those shorts, however, brought the heat roaring back.
She was all leg. Golden skin, shapely calves and thighs… She hadn’t lost that cheerleader look.
“You could use the shower, you know.” She smiled at him, the dimple off the corner of her right lip making an appearance.
How many times had he kissed that dimple? Traced it with his tongue—
“I, uh, didn’t want to disturb you. By having the water running, I mean.”
“Oh, that’s okay. It wouldn’t have bothered me.”
They were making banal conversation over water. Someone needed to say something to move it along or next they’d be counting the rises in her popcorn ceiling.
“Did you want to tell me something?”
“Oh. Um. Yes.” She crossed her arms and cocked her hip to one side, a move Tanner well remembered.
She’d thought it was a serious look for when she had something important to tell him, but, really, it was sexy as hell the way her hip curved to the side and her crossed arms accentuated her small waist—and the breasts above them.
He’d wisely never told her what that move did to him. “And… what is it?”
“Oh. Right.” She gave him a fake smile. It was her cover-up smile, when she needed to think an answer through.
“Come on, Juliet. What is it? No need to hem and haw. This is me, remember? I know all your tricks.”
“This isn’t a trick, Tan. I was just coming to look for you because my dad called. Nana wants to know when we’re coming over. We should get going.”
“Oh. Okay. No biggie. Let me just, uh, change my shirt.” He reached over his head and tugged the collar at the back of his neck. “Wet.”
She licked her lips. Dammit. Why did everything have to be filled with sexual innuendo? There were times when they’d been together that they’d actually had fun without every syllable being sexually charged.
Of course, there’d been just as many, if not more, laden with it. Or, most times, downright lust. Juliet had never been shy about making love with him.
God damn it. He was never going to get through this if he brought everything back to sex.
“Tanner?”
He blinked, clearing his focus.
Same Juliet. Looking way too gorgeous in her shorts and scoop-necked t-shirt. The woman made a burlap sack look good. “Yeah?”
“Your shirt?” She twiddled her fingers at him. “You were going to change it? We don’t have a lot of time before Nana starts fading. I’d like to get there while she can talk to you.”
“Oh. Right.” He cleared his throat and walked around the kitchen counter to head into his room.
He shut the door behind him, making sure it stayed closed. He didn’t need to undress without the buffer of a door between them. Granted, it was a hollow-core thin veneer of a door, but the visual was enough of a barrier.
He hoped.
Too bad there wasn’t a barrier between them in the car. If it wouldn’t have entailed too many explanations—excuses—he would have sat in the back. He didn’t want Juliet to know she still got to him. That’d be all he’d need; Juliet thinking they could pick up where they’d left off.
Stuck on yourself, are we, Wentworth? Maybe she doesn’t want you anymore.
Well there was a sobering thought.
He glanced over at her. Funny to see her in the driver’s seat; he’d always driven. Of course, more often than not, it’d be because she’d had her hands on his thigh and wanting to move elsewhere. Tanner had learned to drive real fast all those years ago.
But now her hands were firmly on the steering wheel—where they ought to be—and she was navigating the Benz like a racecar driver. “When you’d start driving like this?”
“Like what?” She swung her head to look at him then back to
the road, her hair swishing around her shoulders.
Juliet’s hair was incredibly silky. The gold strands used to catch beneath her as he’d pounded into her—
Dammit. He really needed to get his mind off sex with her.
“Like you’re late for a doct—er, driving like a bat out of hell.” He’d caught the word before it was all the way out but the damage was done. As if they needed an all-too-harsh reminder of the day they had driven like a bat out of hell to get to the doctor’s when she was losing the baby.
Juliet cleared her throat and roared the engine as she jumped into the next lane over. “I have a lot to do these days and not enough time to do it. I should probably move closer to the office, but I don’t want to give up my home.”
“It’s a nice house. Not what I would have thought you’d go for, though.”
“Yes, well, like I said, I’ve changed a lot since we were last together. Surprised even myself at times.”
Just like she was starting to surprise him.
Chapter Eight
“Hi, Nana. Look who I brought.” Juliet stuck her pageant smile on her face and swept into the living room. She’d be dammed if the mention of the awful doctor’s appointment would ruin her day or even have an inkling of thought in her grandmother’s day.
Damn Tanner, though. Less than an hour and he’d had to remind her about one of the saddest days of her life and the fact that she’d created the situation to begin with by poking a hole in the condoms.
God, what she wouldn’t give to have a do-over of that moment. Seventeen and stupid, that’s what she’d been. A mistake she’d been paying for for the last eleven years.
“Tanner!” Nana pushed on the wheels of her wheelchair and propelled herself toward Tanner.
“Nana, be careful. We don’t want you to overexert yourself.” Nana had been so weak and Juliet had worried that Tanner’s appearance might be too much of a shock. It’s why she’d told her he was coming beforehand, but she hadn’t expected Nana would try to move her wheelchair. She hadn’t had any strength since the stroke. Luckily, her mind and her coordination hadn’t been affected, but still… Nana wasn’t exactly a spring chicken. She had to be careful.
Beefcake & Retakes Page 5