by Lucy Clark
‘Of course I’ll keep the girls overnight. They’re fine. Don’t worry about them. Perhaps having a sleepover will make up for the fact that they didn’t get to walk down the aisle today. They’ve still been practising.’
‘Oh, my crazy, darling daughters.’ Jasper couldn’t help but smile at this news.
‘You just take care of Jen. She needs you, Jasper.’
‘I know.’ He nodded as he looked towards her bedroom. ‘And I need her just as much.’
Jennifer woke with a start. She was positive she’d slept through her alarm, that she was late for work. Was it her first day on the job? No. She’d been back in Parramatta for some time now. She frowned and went to lift the covers off her body and discovered it was almost impossible to move. Everything ached. She lay still, trying to remember. Had she been in an accident? Was she in hospital?
She slowly opened her eyes and looked around. She was in her own room. She relaxed a little and lay silently for a moment, desperately trying to remember. It was then she realised she wasn’t alone, the breathing of someone next to her almost echoing around the room. Her heart thudded wildly as she forced herself to move and was momentarily surprised at seeing Jasper lying next to her…still dressed in the trousers and shirt he’d worn to his sister’s non-wedding.
And then she remembered. She was sick. She never got sick but here she was—sick—and Jasper had taken care of her. There was a weight around her waist and she realised he had his arm over her, and although she was beneath the covers and he was on top with a blanket half over him, she’d still somehow snuggled up to him as they’d slept.
‘Hi.’
Jennifer’s gaze flicked up to meet his. He hadn’t moved but his eyes were open and his lips were curved into a caring smile.
‘How are you feeling? Any better?’
Jennifer opened her mouth to talk but coughed instead. Turning her face away into the pillow, she moaned.
‘That good, eh?’ Jasper chuckled and lifted his arm as he sat up. Jennifer felt instantly bereft at his departure. ‘Let’s get some more paracetamol into you.’ He checked his watch. ‘Yep, you’re about due for another dose.’
It was then she remembered him waking her up every four hours and making her swallow pills. She remembered him sponging her forehead with cool, refreshing water and also taking her temperature. When he returned, she didn’t speak until after she’d taken the pills.
‘Thank you.’
‘For?’
‘Staying.’
Jasper sat on the bed beside her and brushed a strand of hair away from her face—her glorious hair which now bounced around her face and shoulders. ‘How could I not stay when you begged me so charmingly not to leave you?’
‘Did I?’ Jennifer closed her eyes as she recalled holding his hand against her cheek and asking him not to go. ‘Oh, I did.’ She groaned and sunk deeper into the pillows.
Jasper laughed again. ‘Don’t worry, Jen. I wasn’t going anywhere.’
‘The girls.’ Her eyes snapped open.
‘They’re fine. They’re with Sara. And if you’d like a further update, when I called to check on them earlier, they were busy making bread rolls and planning to make Sara’s boys marry them later on just so they could walk down an imaginary aisle.’
Jennifer tried to laugh but every muscle in her body seemed to scream with agony. Added to that, she ended up coughing.
‘Rest.’ Jasper once more came forward to kiss her but she pushed him away. ‘Ah…that doesn’t work, Jen.’
‘You’ll get sick,’ she said between coughs.
‘No, I won’t. In fact, in kissing you, I might just be passing on some good antibodies to help fight the good fight.’
‘That’s rubbish.’
‘I know, but I’m the doctor and you’re the patient and what I say goes.’ He stood, leaned over her and kissed her full on the mouth. ‘Now rest.’
And that was how the day progressed with Jennifer sleeping most of it away while Jasper took care of her. It was close to eight o’clock on Sunday evening when she started feeling as though she had a little more energy.
It was then she was able to fully comprehend that Jasper had not only taken out her intricate hairstyle but had removed her clothes. It was true that she was wearing a red nightshirt he’d obviously found in one of her drawers and she was pleased he’d not left her to sleep just in her underwear. Still, the realisation that Jasper had undressed her was one that warmed her cheeks.
‘Your temperature is still slightly elevated,’ he said.
‘Uh…that’s actually got nothing to do with the lurgy and everything to do with my embarrassment.’
‘Embarrassment? Whatever for?’
‘Well, I don’t remember getting changed.’
‘Ah.’ Jasper nodded slowly. ‘No need to worry. I’m a doctor. Completely professional. You were fine—er…I mean, it was fine.’ He stopped, his smile wide and, oh, so sexy. ‘Either way, I couldn’t let you ruin your beautiful dress.’
‘Well…thank you.’
‘You are most welcome, my gorgeous Jennifer.’
‘Gorgeous?’
‘Fishing?’
‘No. I just don’t think I look all that gorgeous at the moment.’
‘Well, you do, and as I’m the one who has to look at you, my opinion is all that counts. Here.’ He held out a large piece of cardboard which had been folded in half to make a card. ‘This is for you from the girls.’
‘Oh. Are they all right? What about your parents? Megan? How is she? Oh, and that young man, the cyclist? How did his surgery go?’
Jasper came around the bed and lay down next to her, carefully pulling her into his arms. ‘Right. Well, let’s see. The girls are fine. They came over earlier but you were asleep and I’ve not long got back from tucking them into their beds and kissing them goodnight.’
‘But what if they—’
‘Shh. They’ve both had this bug so they’ll be fine. Now, where was I? Oh, yes. The girls are fine, my parents are fine as well and send their best regards for a speedy recovery. Megan is…well, apparently she still hasn’t cried a single tear but I guess that’s just Megan. And the young cyclist—Hamish—has been taken out of HDU and is now on the general ward, recovering nicely. Now, open your card and marvel at the talent of my girls.’
Jennifer shifted, snuggling in closer to him as she dutifully read the card which contained drawings from both girls.
‘They’re wonderful, Jasper. I love them so much.’ She held the card close to her chest.
‘I’m glad to hear that.’
‘Mmm. You feel nice.’
‘Don’t go to sleep just yet. You need to have another lot of tablets in about fifteen minutes.’
‘Oh? OK.’ She didn’t open her eyes and her body relaxed against him. ‘Why are you so good to me, Jasper?’
‘Because I’m in love with you.’
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE words were spoken with heartfelt conviction and Jennifer sighed longingly as she drifted off into the most peaceful sleep she’d had in almost a decade.
‘Jen?’ Jasper tried to shift a little so he could see she’d heard him. ‘Jennifer?’ Her eyes were closed and her breathing was deep and relaxed. Jasper shook his head, unable to believe his bad luck. The moment he confessed his true feelings…she slept.
Jasper stayed for a while longer, deciding he wouldn’t wake her up to take her tablets but instead leave a glass of water by the bed with the medication next to them so she didn’t need to get out of bed.
He stood there for the umpteenth time, looking down at this amazing woman, and again he found it impossible not to reach out and run his fingers through her hair. Why she kept it pulled back into that tight bun he couldn’t fathom because she was absolutely stunning with it flowing in dark, wavy locks around her face.
He knew she still had things to work out, knew he probably shouldn’t have even mentioned the word ‘love’ tonight, but his feelings for
her were becoming increasingly difficult to repress. Kissing her forehead, he left her room and made sure the rest of her house was tidy. There were still one or two boxes left to unpack and although she’d put them out of the way, when the girls had been over earlier in the day, they’d started pulling some of Jennifer’s things out, intent on climbing into the empty box and having a grand old time. Jasper had stopped them and packed everything back.
That’s when he’d found the photo album and he hadn’t been able to resist looking through it.
The album contained pictures of a much younger Jennifer. Her hair had been a lot shorter back then, which surprised him, but she still looked amazing. He came across photographs of a much younger looking Sara as well. There was a sombre photograph of her father in full military uniform with his wife dutifully at his side. And then the photos of Jennifer and the man he could only assume was Arturo. He had a love of life in his eyes which even the picture had captured perfectly.
Jasper turned the page and came across a photograph of Jennifer with her arms around Arturo and could see just how happy she’d been back then. He didn’t feel the remotest hint of jealousy, which surprised him. He’d been jealous when her young patient, Christopher, had made her laugh, but not now when he was looking at Jennifer’s past. Instead, he felt an overwhelming sense of sadness at all she’d lost. He understood this sadness because he’d lost so much as well.
He put the album down, closing it carefully and running his hand over the textured front cover. He had his own albums, his own memories of his past, but that’s exactly what they were now…memories of the past. His girls had helped him to remain firmly in the present and that had helped him look forward to a new future.
A lone tear slid down Jasper’s cheek as he not only felt the loss of Elisha but the loss Jennifer had obviously felt after Arturo’s death. It was a bond which had brought them together, a bond which had helped them to move to the next stage of their lives. He’d loved and lost once and he wasn’t going to do it again. Jennifer was far too important to his happiness, to the girls’ happiness, and he was determined to convince his boss they not only belonged together but that there was no need to feel guilty any more because she’d gone on living.
He had a future waiting for him. A future he wanted with Jen.
When Jennifer awoke the next morning, she was a little disappointed not to find Jasper lying next to her. Perhaps he was already up. She checked the clock, moaning a little when her muscles protested. It was only just after six o’clock.
‘Jas—’ She stopped, coughing on the words, her throat dry. She smiled as she saw the tablets and water he’d left for her, a little sticky note attached to the glass which said, ‘Swallow the tablets and don’t argue with your doctor.’ He’d also added a big, bold ‘X’ beneath it which made her smile widen. ‘Jasper?’ she called, but received no answer. She tried again but there was only silence as an answer.
He’d obviously left and she knew he had every right to. He had other priorities, other people who needed him more than she did, and she understood this completely. So why did tears suddenly spring to her eyes and why did she feel so bereft without him?
‘Because you love him, you ninny,’ she whispered. She snuggled back into the covers for a moment, then thought better of it. She wasn’t the type to simply lie there and wallow in her own misery and all because Jasper had gone home to look after his daughters. No. She was a determined woman and one who had fended for herself for most of her life.
Flicking back the covers, she took her time getting out of bed and, moving slowly, shuffled off towards the bathroom.
By the time Jasper unlocked her front door just after half past seven, Jennifer was showered and dressed and sitting at the kitchen table, enjoying a very light breakfast.
‘Well. Look at you.’ Jasper’s eyes widened at the sight of her, thankful that she’d left her hair loose. ‘You’re looking much better.’ He enveloped her in his arms, stroking her hair and kissing her forehead. ‘Temperature is right down.’ He pulled back slightly to look into her eyes. ‘Eyes have lost their glassy look. You’re still a bit congested, but that’s to be expected.’ He brushed a warm and inviting kiss across her lips. ‘Lips appear to be in working order and tasting of peppermint tea and…Is that strawberry jam?’ He dipped his head for another kiss, this one slightly longer than the last. ‘Yep.’ He smacked his own lips together. ‘Definitely strawberry.’
‘There’s more tea in the pot if you’d like a cup.’
‘I’ve just had some coffee.’ He released her and sat down next to her.
‘How are the girls?’
‘Eager to come down and see you. I told them I had to make sure you were awake but if you’re feeling up to it, Mum will bring them down later for a fifteen-minute visit. No more than that because they’ll tire you out too quickly and the last thing you want is a relapse.’
‘True.’ She ran her hand lovingly down his tie. ‘Off to work?’
‘Someone’s got to keep the department running. I’ll make your excuses for the meetings and, thankfully, as all the rest of your staff have had this bug and are now back at work, clinic shouldn’t be too hectic.’
‘I could probably go to the meetings,’ she suggested, but he vetoed that idea immediately.
‘You’re on sick leave, Dr Thorngate. Now, do as you’re told.’
‘And what’s my prescription?’ She winked at him as she said the words and Jasper’s eyes widened in delighted surprise.
‘You are feeling better. Good to see.’
‘I thought I must be getting better, otherwise you would have stayed last night.’
He could see the longing in her eyes, see the need she had for him, and his heart overflowed with love. ‘I wanted to.’ Jasper took her hand in his. ‘It was almost impossible to drag myself out of here but the gir—’
‘Shh.’ She placed a finger on his lips. ‘You don’t need to explain. I just missed you, that’s all.’
‘Really?’ He kissed her finger, then took both her hands in his. ‘I missed you, too.’
‘That’s nice.’
‘It is.’ Jasper once more looked over at the photo album then back to Jennifer. He could simply sit there and look into her eyes all day long, which was exactly what he wanted to do right now but he knew he couldn’t. ‘I hope you don’t mind but I had a look through your photos.’ He pointed to the album.
‘My photos?’
‘I wasn’t snooping when I found it,’ he added quickly and told her how the girls had ‘helped’ unpack so they could play in the boxes.
‘It’s OK, Jasper.’ Her smile was welcoming as she caressed his cheek. ‘I don’t mind.’ She let go of one of his hands and picked up the album, looking at the outside for a long moment before speaking. ‘I used to look at this album every night for so long. Just touching the photographs of Art used to make me feel closer to him somehow.’
Jasper only nodded and although she’d felt silly saying those words, she knew he would understand completely.
‘People always say the first year after losing someone is the hardest, and it was. It was a really difficult year for me but looking at our memories, at the good times we’d shared, really helped to get me through.’ Jennifer sighed. ‘The memories are a part of me, just as Art will always be a part of me.’
She paused and breathed in deeply before continuing. ‘There’s a park—not far from here—where we used to go to just sit and watch the world. Kids would play. Birds would chirp. Leaves would fall. Clouds would float by. It was one of my favourite places and Art would lie on the grass and tell me about his day, about the children he’d taught and how we’d have our own brood someday. It was…nothing, you know. We talked about nothing yet all those nothings came to mean…’
‘Everything.’ Jasper’s tone was soft and he squeezed her hand. ‘It’s the little things, the quiet moments, you tend to remember the most.’
‘Yes.’ Jennifer smiled a watery smile at Jasp
er.
‘I used to watch the girls do something new and exciting, like feeding themselves for the first time or talking or running or jumping or doing a sommersault. Little, everyday things, and I’d be almost mad at Elisha for missing it, for not being there to share in those all important moments.’
‘Yes. I’d get mad at Art for not being there and then I’d feel guilty for feeling that way.’
Jasper shook his head. ‘No need to feel guilty. The anger is a part of the grieving process.’
‘I know. Even though I didn’t go to counselling, I did read a few books on the subject.’
He smiled at that. ‘Me, too. Anyway, about a year ago Lilly caught a ball for the first time. She was so happy, so excited, especially with her little tongue between her teeth as she concentrated so hard on keeping her hands together, ready to accept the ball. It was then I started to think, Elisha would have loved that. Instead of, She’s missing it, my thoughts somehow turned themselves around to think, She’d have loved that, and she would have. She’d have been so proud of our Lilly.’
‘Yes.’ His words made perfect sense and she nodded. ‘I do understand that.’ She leaned forward and brushed a kiss across his lips. ‘Thank you for listening to me, for sharing with me.’
‘You’re more than welcome, my beautiful Jen, but there’s also something else I want to say. It may not be easy for you to hear it but I need to say it.’ He paused, took a deep breath and then said carefully, ‘You need to say goodbye to him, Jen.’ The words were spoken so quietly that hardly any sound came out from between his lips but Jennifer felt his words and knew he was right.
‘Did you say goodbye to Elisha?’
‘Yes. At one of Sydney’s most prestigious restaurants, because that was where we had our first date and also where I proposed, so it seemed only right to say goodbye there, too.’
Jennifer looked down at the hand he held before meeting his eyes once more. ‘Was it difficult?’
‘Yes. I sat in that restaurant, by myself, surrounded by couples, and realised that I was now on my own. Really on my own. She wasn’t in the bathroom or at the shops or out working. She was gone and she was gone for ever. After that night, somehow, I was able to move on. I was able to come home from work and not expect her to be there, waiting for me. I was able to start living again.’ He let go of her hand to cup her face. ‘And if I hadn’t started living again, I wouldn’t have met you.’