‘More than one? Of course, it’s possible. If you truly love one person then you love all mankind,’ said Axiom gently. ‘You cannot love only one person. It goes against the nature of love.’
I looked at Usse. ‘What do you think?’
He smiled. ‘I think I agree with Axiom.’
‘And what about Iskander, if his mother did, uh, did what you said, how does that affect him?’
Axiom shrugged. ‘I don’t know. He learned about love backwards. His mother taught him all about hate and jealousy, his father taught him about power and might. He learned the pleasures of the flesh before his mind learned to love himself. He fell in love with his friend and then he killed him. What can he have learned? I don’t know. Perhaps Iskander himself doesn’t know. He is touched by God’s grace, though. You have only to see him to know that.’
‘Perhaps he is a god,’ said Usse pensively. ‘That’s what I’ve heard.’
‘Why? Because of the temple in the desert?’ Axiom sounded angry.
‘Yes. They have started calling him the son of Amon.’
‘His mother’s work,’ Axiom snarled. ‘When Philip married Cleopatra, Olympias started spreading rumours that Iskander wasn’t really his son. She told stories about being visited by a serpent, and that the snake was the god Zeus-Amon. The boy, Alexander, believed her. She turned him against his own father.’
‘Well, she’ll come to no good,’ I said.
‘May God hear you,’ said Axiom.
I nearly laughed, then grew sombre again. My question hadn’t been answered the way I’d hoped.
Yet, when Alexander joined me late that night, slipping into bed beside me, and taking me in his arms, my heart was filled with joy.
The next day was like the one before. The army lined up before daybreak in front of the bonfires and took their rations. Everyone marched towards Ecbatana, and Plexis and I walked slowly behind the cortège.
‘Do you believe in one god or many?’ I asked him.
‘Why, many, of course. Don’t you?’ He was amused, as if my question was of no importance.
‘And what if I told you I didn’t know what I believed in? I was raised to believe in one god, but now I’m not so sure. I mean, I don’t even know if I believe in any god.’
He looked at me, his face twisted in disbelief. ‘You don’t mean what you’re saying, surely!’
I didn’t reply, because I had no answers.
The road was long, and it took us nearly a month to reach Ecbatana. I stopped walking and rode on my little donkey, Sibyl, because I felt ill. I had odd pains, and Usse told me I should rest as much as possible.
I didn’t want to tell Alexander; as we approached Ecbatana he had practically stopped sleeping. I had no idea how anyone could go so long without sleep, but he seemed driven. Meetings with his generals lasted late into the night, and I discovered he had already started making plans to head north to Bactria. One night I managed to stay awake and wait for him. As he slid into bed and curled up around me, I whispered, ‘Is everything all right?’
He laughed sleepily. ‘Yes, and it will get better and better. Soon we’ll be in Ecbatana, and we’ll stay there until the babe is born.’ He cupped his hands around my tummy. ‘And as soon as you can travel, we’ll go after our first son.’
‘How will we find him?’ I asked, worried.
‘Darius’s mother will make him talk. I know her. When she hears what he’s done, she will be so angry even the gods will tremble.’ He nuzzled the back of my neck. ‘You smell so nice, like spring flowers.’
‘Thank you,’ I said, turning around and cupping his face in my hands. I looked into his eyes. Ever since Axiom had told me about his childhood, I’d felt a deep pity for him. Though my mother had been cold and unfeeling, she hadn’t done as much damage to me as Alexander’s mother had to him. She had nearly crippled him in ways I couldn’t begin to fathom. Yet, he had risen above it. I kissed him. ‘I love you, and I think you’re wonderful,’ I said.
‘Do you trust me?’ he asked softly.
‘With my life.’
‘I believe you,’ he said, and with something like a sob, gave himself to me.
He didn’t fall asleep afterwards, but sat and stared at the doorway. I sat up too, and for the first time I was conscious of Axiom, Usse and Brazza in the tent with us. The curtains were hung and the darkness hid everyone from view, but the night was so still that I could hear their soft breathing. Outside, were the night-time sounds of the camp; the faint jingle of metal, the guards whispering, a baby crying, and someone cursing. There was always someone cursing. I nearly smiled.
‘What’s the matter?’ I asked, stroking his back.
He turned his head, showing me his pure profile. I loved the shape of his nose and his chin. His throat was long and strong, his body made of flowing lines. I wanted him to live for ever. I suppose, in a way, he would.
‘I was thinking,’ he said quietly, ‘of all the different kinds of love.’
‘Oh. Did you hear us speaking, then?’ In the darkness, I thought I detected a slight pause in the breathing around us.
‘I did.’
The air held its breath.
‘What do you think, then?’ I asked.
‘I don’t know. I wish I had some sort of conviction, like Usse or Axiom, but I don’t. Do you?’
‘No. I think it’s too complicated. And at the same time, ridiculously simple.’ I took a deep breath. ‘When you see Paul, I think it will all become clear. It did for me. Since he was taken away I have been living in shadow.’
‘I'm sorry,’ he said, putting his hand on mine. In the dark, something glittered on his face.
‘I’m sorry too.’ I knew he was talking about us, though, not Paul. ‘Someday we’ll have time to swim in the evening again. Things will get easier, and we’ll be together, you, and me, and the children. Barsine will be there, she’ll organize their games, and Aristotle will teach them.’
He lay down beside me and let my voice lull him to sleep. I talked about where we would go, what his babies would look like, and the games we’d all play together. His body relaxed, his breathing deepened, and all around me the men slept. I thought maybe Axiom was right after all, if you loved one person then you loved everyone.
Chapter Sixteen
The next day we rode into Ecbatana. I was riding next to Alexander. The generals were right behind us, and the whole army stretched into the distance. The gates of the city were flung open to welcome us. Fifty girls dressed in white robes ran ahead and flung rose petals at our feet as we rode through the city toward the palace. Alexander didn’t seem to notice them. He gazed straight ahead, his face stern. He didn’t acknowledge the people lined up along the road crying his name, waving, and throwing flowers. I was riding the grey mare, and she, being a battle horse, was used to noise and fuss. She didn’t even toss her head when flowers hit her.
Bucephalus loved the attention. He arched his massive neck and pranced. The people screamed his name nearly as much as his master’s. But nothing moved Alexander until we came in sight of the palace. Then his cheeks lost all their colour and I nearly grabbed his arm, so sure was I that he would faint.
Antipatros was on his right, and he looked at me sharply. I licked dry lips and nodded. I understood his look. It was a warning. Let Iskander handle this. We were riding into Darius’s city and we didn’t know what he had prepared for us. The fact that Alexander had put me in front with him was a sign. He was coming unarmed. I looked at him again. His face was as white as the egret plume nodding on his golden helmet.
The palace steps were full of brightly dressed people. I wondered where Darius was; I didn’t see him.
On the top step was a short, plump woman. She had grey hair, dressed in a chignon. Her robes were of deep purple, edged with gold and green embroidery. Gold chains gleamed in her hair and around her neck, and her arms were heavy with bracelets.
As we rode up she raised one arm and said clearly, ‘Hail, Iskande
r! We welcome our king.’
Alexander let his breath out. Then, with a wide smile, he turned and greeted the crowd on either side of us. There was an eruption of cheers, and two slaves hurried forward to take our horses. Alexander swung off Bucephalus and carefully lifted me to the ground. My legs were numb but I braced myself against him and stood straight. I felt the weight of everyone’s gaze upon me, and it nearly crushed me. I wondered how Alexander could survive day after day of this, and decided that he must be superhuman.
We walked up the stairs to the little woman dressed in purple. Then, to my amazement, and to the amazement of all those watching, Alexander knelt and pressed his head to the ground. There was a gasp from the crowd.
‘Get up, you silly boy,’ she said, but her voice was fond, and her eyes glittered with tears. She pulled him to his feet and hugged him.
‘I'm so glad to see you,’ he said, his own voice thick with emotion.
They held each other at arms’ length and stared. Alexander venerated this woman, and I could do no less than bow before her.
I was glad I’d worn my silk robe. Everyone on the steps was dressed in the most fabulous garments. Gold, green, blue and red glowed in silks and satins. Precious jewels were encrusted in sashes and collars, and flashed in the sunlight. It was overwhelming.
The palace steps were made of pink marble, and the doors were gilded in pure gold. Palm trees grew in huge pots next to each door, and flocks of colourful parrots were chained to their branches. Screeching noisily, they added their raucous cries to the sounds of the crowd. The noise was numbing, battering, and made coherent thought impossible.
As we entered the palace, the heavy doors shut behind us. Sudden quiet made me stagger. Alexander caught my arm and held me close. We stood in a half-circle: Alexander and I, the plump woman, Antipatros and Nearchus, and several of Alexander’s generals. For a moment we said nothing, savouring the silence. In the gloom of the palace I noticed many ornately carved screens. Behind them were people. I could see their eyes glisten through the latticework. They stayed hidden, making me nervous.
Alexander presented me to the plump woman – Darius’s mother, Sisygambis. Everyone called her ‘Sis,’ which suited her. She was a comfortable, motherly sort of woman, who nonetheless commanded respect and attention. Her voice was nearly as deep as a man’s, and her eyes were a remarkable gold, like Darius’s.
She took my arm and led me through the palace to the woman’s quarters, chatting in a friendly fashion all the way. I barely had time to look around.
On the steps there had been no young women, and Sisygambis told me, when I asked her about this, that women stayed in their quarters from the time they started menstruating until they reached menopause. Before and afterwards, they could go where they pleased and do as they liked. Older women often studied and were awarded high positions in the government. However, younger women were expected to stay in the gynecie and bear children. It was just as well, I thought with a trace of sarcasm. Hormones did tend to get in the way of clear judgment.
Young men were expected to join the army or to farm. Older men could do as they pleased, as long as they had children to support them. Sis talked non-stop, waving her hands to illustrate what she was saying.
We arrived at a dead-end hallway. Two rather fat men with smooth cheeks stood in front of the largest doors I’d ever seen. The doors must have been twenty feet high, and at least as wide. The guards were dressed in red silk robes and carried huge, curved scimitars.
Sisygambis clapped her hands sharply, and the eunuchs opened the doors. Behind them was a garden paradise the size of a football stadium. Full-size trees spread their branches above our heads, and in their branches were more raucous parrots. I could hear water splashing in fountains, and a white jasmine vine twined itself around the arched doorway, welcoming us with its heady perfume. However, after spending a year as a prisoner in one of these paradises, I was suspicious. Sis had to tug my arm before I would enter. With a nervous glance at the armed eunuchs, I crossed the threshold.
She led me down a smooth marble path winding between flowering shrubs and sparkling pools of water, where goldfish glinted and opulent water lilies floated. Over our heads, flowering vines had been trained on arched trellises, forming an exotic canopy of purple, green and white. Perfume filled the air, as well as glittering, jewel-like humming birds, and huge, metallic, blue and green butterflies. In a clearing, sitting on white marble benches, were twenty young women dressed in silks of all the colours of the rainbow.
In their midst was a sloe-eyed beauty with hair as black as the midnight sky and skin like warm amber. She stood up, and I saw she was as tall as I, slender and graceful. She held out her hands and greeted me in perfect Greek. ‘Welcome, sister, to our pleasant garden. May you be happy here, each moment of your stay.’
I took her hands and kissed her formally on each cheek. ‘I'm honoured by your welcome,’ I said. ‘My name is Ashley, and I cannot help but be happy here, surrounded by such grace, beauty and kindness.’
Silvery laughs rang out, and a clear voice chided, ‘She has a honeyed tongue, Dora. You must try and do better next time!’
This was my introduction to Darius’s family. His mother, Sis, presented his wife, Dora, the gentle beauty. His sister was Didtra, a stout woman with the family’s light-brown eyes. She was the one with the clear voice. Ithaca and Drypetis were Darius’s teenage daughters, tall, willowy girls with black hair and creamy skin. Thanis was Darius’s daughter-in-law, a very young girl with a pale face and bright, copper hair. Her eyes were grey-green and very serious. She smiled shyly.
The other women were slave girls. They stood back and bowed but weren’t introduced by name. Everyone made me feel welcome, and soon we were sitting in the garden while servants brought us honeyed almonds and cups of cool water on silver trays.
I was glad to rest after my voyage. My back and legs were aching and my bladder was full. I looked for a chamber pot. I wasn’t sure how to ask for a bathroom, and I didn’t want to sound rude.
Sis perceived my discomfort and pointed out bathrooms behind an ivory screen. I went, and discovered a small room paved in green tiles. There was a marble ‘toilet’ and a hand basin full of rose-scented water. After travelling with the army so long, and using portable chamber pots or ditches, this was a welcome respite. I washed my hands and face and straightened my robe. I wanted to give a good impression; after all, I represented Alexander. I wondered how long we would stay in this palace. Would Darius meet Alexander here? I hadn’t seen him anywhere and didn’t dare ask his mother where he was.
I rejoined the women and spent the rest of the afternoon resting in the garden. When the sun started to set, Sis stood up and clapped her hands, giving a signal. Slaves appeared from all sides, and each woman left with her slave. Sis waited until everyone had departed, then she took me by the hand.
‘Come, child, I will show you your quarters. Did you bring your slave?’
‘No, I don’t have one.’
Sis looked taken aback. ‘No? How strange. Well, I will give you three slaves for your stay.’ She clapped again, and more slaves appeared. They were all either women or eunuchs. ‘Hester, Pyron, Millis,’ she said, pointing to two women and a stunningly handsome eunuch. ‘These are your slaves. Come,’ she said to them, and they fell in line behind us. I was uncomfortable, as usual, with slaves. Why couldn’t I just pretend they were maids and valets? However, I couldn’t. I wondered how to tell Sis I didn’t want them, but thought I would probably offend everyone if I did that.
My quarters consisted of three rooms: a spacious bedroom with screened doors opening onto a marble terrace, a dressing room – with my sandalwood box sitting on a low table and looking positively lonely – and a tiled bathroom. There was a sunken bathtub full of hot water and rose petals. ‘Oh! This is incredible! Thank you!’ My reaction was genuine and Sis looked pleased.
‘We dine in two hours. I took the liberty of sending for some robes. They will
arrive shortly. Choose what you wish. Hester is a wonderful seamstress – she will alter anything to fit you. Pyron will fix your hair. Send Millis for anything else you need. He is mute, but not deaf.’ She kissed me and left. I sat down on a wooden bench and stared at my slaves who were standing in an expectant row. I cleared my throat.
Hester was a woman around fifty. She had iron-grey hair and dark grey eyes. She stood straight, with her hands folded in front of her ample bosom. She was dressed in Persian robes. Pyron was a younger woman, very thin and dark-skinned, with large doe eyes and soft black hair. She wore a short dress of brick red cotton with white stitching along the hem.
Millis was something else. I had rarely seen such a beautiful man. He was tall and broad-shouldered, with dark-brown hair cut short around his well-shaped head. His eyes were honey coloured. I wondered, for a second, if he were related to Darius; he had the same look about him. His mouth was sensuous, his cheeks as smooth as a girl’s. The way he was looking at me made the blood rush to my cheeks.
‘Um, my name is Ashley. You may call me Ashley. I mean, please do.’ I blushed. This wasn’t going right. The slaves were looking at me with wide eyes. They hadn’t moved. ‘What shall I do now?’ I asked finally. ‘I’m sorry, you’re going to have to help me, I’m not used to having slaves.’
Hester stepped forward. She was the oldest, and obviously the one in charge. She bowed. ‘Would you care to bathe? Your bath is ready, and the water will not stay warm for long. While Millis helps you wash, I will take your robe and clean it.’
‘Thank you, Hester,’ I said.
Millis stood in the middle of the bathroom, staring at me, waiting for orders. I sighed. ‘Millis?’ He blinked quickly, looking at me questioningly. ‘Would you mind very much not watching me while I bathe? I’m sorry, but I get embarrassed when men watch me undress. I don’t think I need three slaves. You may leave.’ I said it gently, but I wasn’t prepared for his reaction.
A slow red blush spread up his neck and stained his cheeks. His eyes actually filled with tears. I turned to Hester. ‘What did I say?’
The Road to Alexander Page 24