by Kate Douglas
Their gazes locked for a brief moment. Tia felt as if he saw through her, saw her soul, her misery, her horrifying need, but Anton merely dipped his head in acknowledgment and grinned and then turned back to the other three. Tia breathed a long sigh of relief.
Relief colored by sorrow.
Luc hadn’t noticed her. Only Anton. Somehow the sexy alpha had sensed she was close by, but he didn’t seem to mind at all that she watched. His acceptance emphasized Tia’s sense of isolation, of loneliness. Keisha and Xandi had gone off to bed…together. Anton had looked and then turned away. With him being engaged now in deep conversation with the other three men, it was as if Tia didn’t exist. None of the others even knew she was there, just a few feet away, watching, wondering what it felt like to belong.
It might have been funny, under other circumstances, sitting silently in the shadows, staring at four beautiful, buck-naked men carrying on what must be a serious conversation in the front yard, each with his erect cock hard. Should have been worth a smile, at least, but right now it made Tia unutterably sad.
She stared at her toes peeking out from beneath the old quilt, focused on the chipped nails bare of polish and let her thoughts wander. Time was passing. Her father had not been found, but they couldn’t act until Anton was ready. When that time came, Luc and Tinker would have a job to do, a role to play. They had their friendship with each other, their commitment to Pack Dynamics, their new relationship with the Montana pack.
Tia had nothing. No one.
Granted, she’d found her cousin, a part of her family long believed lost, but Keisha and Xandi were, even now, probably making love with one another somewhere inside the house. They’d made jokes about how they would have to settle with each other this night, when the men ran without women.
Before going off together, they’d teased Tia about her status within the San Francisco pack, as the only female with five lusty men. Tia hadn’t mentioned Jake’s treachery or the fact that Luc was shutting her out of both his mind and his heart. It was easier to let Keisha and Xandi imagine everything was fine.
Lost in her own private misery, almost enjoying this self-indulgent wallow in her own little pity party, Tia didn’t hear footsteps on the deck until she realized there were four sets of very masculine feet ringed about her chair. Startled, she raised her head and looked directly into Luc’s solemn stare. Tinker, Anton, and Stefan stood beside him.
Was that a look of censure on Anton’s face? Tia frowned and then jerked back around to look at Luc when she heard his quiet voice.
“Anton thought you and I were mated. I had to tell him we weren’t. We need you as part of our link, the strength of your genetic identity with your father, in order to find him and lock on to his thoughts. The problem is, Tia, you and I have never fully linked, never bonded as deeply as Anton needs for us to do.” Luc’s gaze shifted to his left, to the others. His eyes narrowed. “Give us a minute, okay?”
“No problem. I’m headed for the shower.” Anton smiled at Tia and then ambled into the house. Tinker and Stefan followed, but Tia caught Tinker’s silent good wishes before he went inside. She watched the men until they went through the door and disappeared from her line of view.
Tia turned her attention from three sets of perfect buns to Luc’s beloved face. How could she feel so much anger at this man, and yet love him more than anyone else on the planet?
He knelt down in front of her and grabbed her cold hands in his warm ones. There was something amazingly comforting about his strong fingers wrapped around hers. Tia smelled the forest on him, the rich, musky scent of autumn grasses and evergreens, fresh loam and aroused male.
Luc gazed at her with his heart in his eyes. “What it comes down to, Tianna Mason, is that I need you. Not to save your father. To save me. I love you. This separation is killing me. I closed you out to hide my terrible secret about your mother. I didn’t want to hurt you, and I was too big a coward to tell you the truth. To show you what happened that night.”
He shook his head, as if denying history. “I wish it could be any other way, but your father needs our help, and that’s going to require a complete mental link…all of us. You’ll know everything about me, just as I’ll know you. You’ll see my memories as if they were your own. I don’t want you to witness your mother’s death for the first time under those circumstances. It’s going to be so damned hard for you, and I wish there were another way, but I can’t just tell you what happened. I have to show you.”
He stood up, still holding her hands. Pulled Tia to her feet without effort. Leaned close and kissed her briefly, chastely, on the mouth. “Shift. Come with me. Whether you choose to join me as my mate or not is up to you, but it’s time you know the truth.”
Tia left her exhaustion behind. Exhilarated, apprehensive, she threw aside the quilt, shifted smoothly, and followed Luc back into the forest. Stretching out her legs, she ran hard and fast, her paws making a muted tattoo in the thick layer of pine needles littering the forest floor. Occasional bursts of sunlight broke through the dense trees in tiny spatters of molten gold, but, for the most part, the trail was dark, the air still and cool.
Luc led Tia to a tiny meadow bordered on one side by a wall of granite, on the other by a narrow stream of clear water. The grass was thick and spongy, the bracken turning deep gold along the borders. They both drank deeply and then lay together in a shaft of sunlight, panting quietly. For the first time in days, Tia felt at peace, as though her Chanku self had finally adjusted and reconciled with the human side.
She was Chanku, as much wolf as woman. She loved the man beside her with all her heart, understood why her anger with him was so much more intense than it might have been if she hadn’t cared for him.
Love made her vulnerable in ways she’d never expected, but it gave her new strengths as well. She saw it now, with the clarity of her Chanku mind, how she suffered as much if not more than Luc. She’d pushed him away, but Luc still had his packmates. Tia had no one. Not only had she been a coward, she’d been a fool. A frightened, lonely fool.
Now Luc rested his muzzle comfortably, protectively across Tia’s furred shoulders. Tia shivered, afraid now that the moment had come to learn the truth of her mother’s death. Afraid to discover what role Luc had played.
Wondered if and how it might affect the feelings growing between them, feelings still new and untested.
She opened her mind, searched, and found Luc’s thoughts. For once the barriers were down, the pathway to his memories open, if not actually inviting. She immediately sensed reluctance, his apprehension and fear, his soul-deep dread of Tia’s reaction to what she would discover.
A low whine escaped her throat. A shiver coursed along her Chanku spine as she took herself, through Luc’s memories, through his eyes and ears, back to Golden Gate Park more than twenty years ago.
The first thing Tia noticed was the brilliant sunlight streaming through the windows of Luc’s police cruiser. She recognized the buildings. They’d not changed much in this part of the city. He was driving somewhere north of the park, near the Presidio. The radio crackled, and Tia caught the dispatcher’s words warning of a wolf sighting, as if Tia were the one driving, the one following Luc’s destined path.
Everything from that moment on unfolded with stark, unrelenting clarity. One part of Tia’s mind stepped back and observed, understanding how and why Luc reacted as he did. Privy to his thoughts, she heard the screaming children in the distance and worried about their safety. She observed the wolf through Luc’s eyes with awe and disbelief, felt the weight of the gun in her hand, saw the look of intelligence and understanding in the wolf’s eyes.
Hesitated a bare moment until the screams of children growing closer forced a decision.
The report of the gunshot seemed to echo on and on and on.
Tia watched in horror as the light went out of those beautiful amber eyes, and Camille Mason, the most exquisite wolf to ever walk the earth, tumbled lifeless to the ground.
For what seemed an eternity, Tia stared at her mother. The children kept screaming. Their voices rising louder, coalescing into a single voice, a single cry of unrelenting pain. The sound overwhelmed every sense until there was no color, no light, no scent.
Only sound.
No awareness of anything or anyone beyond that one child, the lonely little girl Tia kept locked inside, screaming harsh, bone-chilling screams that went on and on, screams that tore at her throat, burned her lungs. Only Luc’s hands, his wonderful human hands and strong arms embracing Tia’s human self kept her tethered to reality, kept her trembling body in the here and now, out of the clutching memories of death.
Tia didn’t realize she’d shifted, had no idea when Luc had grabbed her to hold her crosswise in his lap, kissing her tears, crying with her, sobbing into her tangled hair as if his own heart were breaking.
The screams faded away until the only sound was Tia’s harsh, ragged breathing, each breath punctuated by Luc’s rough and weary voice. As if from a great distance, she heard him repeating over and over again, “I’m sorry. So sorry.”
He swept her hair back from her face, his broad palm lingering to cup the side of her head. His lips found her forehead and brushed a tender kiss against her cold skin. Ever so slowly, Tia became more aware of her surroundings, of herself.
She blinked the tears away from her eyes and sniffed. She wiped her streaming nose with the back of her hand, realized she was naked and had no tissue, and then wiped her wet hand on the grass.
Luc’s short bark of laughter caught her by surprise. Tia saw him looking at her hand, she realized what a yucky thing she’d done, and flushed hot and cold with embarrassment. She flashed him a wobbly smile through her tears. “Miss Manners would never approve.”
“I would offer you a handkerchief, but it’s in my pants.”
Tia looped her arms loosely around Luc’s neck and pressed her forehead against his. “Good God.” She barely got out the words. Turned her head away, coughed, cleared her throat, took a deep, calming breath. “How horrible for you, to shoot at a wolf, thinking you were protecting the children, and then to find a woman lying there.” She shuddered. “To find my mother. Luc, I had no idea.”
Luc kissed her, his lips warm, the pressure soft and reassuring. “I’ve had nightmares about that day since it happened. I’ve had to remind myself that I would never have met your father, never would have known you, never would have learned who I was, if not for that terrible day, but it’s not enough to get me past it.”
Tia ran her fingers along his face, wiping aside Luc’s tears. “You have to, you know. Get past it. We both do. My mother had to have known the risk she was taking, to run during the day in a public park, just as I have to realize you were doing your job. Thank you. For showing me when we were alone. For opening yourself up to such a terrible memory. I understand now why Tinker said it was just a horrible accident. He was right. It doesn’t make the pain any less, but I know in my heart I can’t blame you.” She felt the tears flowing again. “Luc, I’ve missed you so much.”
Luc kissed her wet cheeks and then pressed his lips against her mouth. Barely breaking the kiss, he spoke against her lips. “I didn’t block you out because I was angry. When you said you couldn’t mate with me until you discovered what happened to your mother, I realized I couldn’t let you into my mind. I couldn’t risk it. Once I tried to bury the memories of your mom’s death, they became the proverbial elephant in the parlor. I couldn’t not think of it. I had no idea how to tell you the truth.”
Tia shook her head. “Since I discovered the story in Tinker’s memory, I’ve been as angry with my father as I’ve been with you, but knowing what happened, there’s no way he could have told that story to a child. I can see that now. We need to get him back, Luc.”
“We will.”
“I know. You’ll make certain we do. Make love to me?” Tia kissed him full on the mouth and then pulled away.
Luc blinked, as though her suggestion had caught him totally by surprise. “Here? Now?”
Tia nodded, pulled away from Luc’s embrace, and shifted. Turning her back to Luc, she waved her great plume of a tail in blatant invitation and then headed down the sun-dappled trail at a full run.
Luc never in his wildest fantasies expected Tia to want him after sharing the details of her mother’s death. Now, though, she raced ahead, her tail waving, her scent calling him, and he felt as if his heart would burst.
Leaping fallen logs, skirting tangled brambles, and crashing through thick undergrowth, Luc slowly gained on Tia. It was her race to lose, not his to win. Her decision as to the time and place when Luc would finally catch her, would mount her as they were meant to, one wolf covering the other, mentally linking as Chanku, completing the bond for all time.
She’d brought him full circle, he noticed, slowing enough that he caught her near the same spot where she’d cried. Where he’d cried as well, purging himself of the years of self-recrimination, of the anguish and pain that had dogged him since that fateful day so many long years ago.
He’d prayed for forgiveness, hoped for some sort of reconciliation, but never had Luc imagined Tia’s flirtatious posturing, her bright eyes and beautiful wolven body inviting him to mount her.
It was such a simple act, devoid of the involved foreplay of humans, free of the mating games and nuances of men and women. Instincts long buried drove him as Luc raised up on his hind legs and mounted her strong back, raking his long claws across the rough fur at her shoulders, nipping her ear and then the side of her throat in an instinctive display of male dominance.
She turned her head to watch him, accepted him with a soft grunt, a low growl deep in her throat. Tilted her throat to him in submission as Luc drove his long wolven cock deep to penetrate her hot channel. Luc felt the change in position when Tia braced herself to take his full weight, and he growled low in his throat as he thrust hard and fast inside her.
Tia’s mind opened to Luc’s and she shared this unique and intimate moment, this mating that would tie them forever as a pair. He felt the large knot forming in his cock, slipping deep inside her heat, despite Tia’s tightly contracting muscles.
Her climax radiated back to include Luc. Locked in place, tied tightly together while his cock pulsed and her muscles squeezed, he’d never felt closer to any single soul in all his days. Memories, thoughts, old dreams, and past mistakes. All of it shared, understood—when necessary, forgotten.
This link went beyond anything he’d ever experienced, any connection Luc had ever made with his packmates. This was a joining of selves on a level beyond conscious thought.
It came to him then, why Anton had felt this bonding would be so important if Tia were to assist in the search for her father. Luc finally understood things about Tia she was only now learning herself, her physiology as a Chanku bitch. How she controlled her breeding, releasing an egg with a specific, conscious effort on her part. How the shift would affect her unborn child, should she become pregnant.
How very much she loved him…and how much Luc loved her in return. How much she trusted him to save her father. It humbled him, to have knowledge such as this.
Humbled him yet gave him strength.
Tia flopped to the ground, taking Luc with her. Panting, she twisted her upper body and licked his muzzle. He felt the change in her, sensed her need to hold him just as he needed to embrace Tia. They shifted at the same time, turning their bodies so that Luc supported himself over Tia, his human cock buried deep in her tightly clenched pussy.
She grinned at him, t
easing, flirtatious. Her hair tumbled about her shoulders, spreading in a dark blond nimbus over the green grass. The tight curls had gone looser each time she shifted, the texture smoother, so that it flowed softly away from her face. Her lips parted, her eyes sparkled. “Hmmm…I miss that thing you do…. Tying us together that way is something else.”
Resting his weight on his elbows, Luc tapped her nose with the tip of his finger. “True, but you have more erogenous zones as a woman.” He proved his point by leaning close, dipping his chin, and taking one taut nipple between his teeth.
Tia moaned, bent her knees, and arched her back, driving his hard cock deep inside. Luc nipped at her other breast, caught the taut peak with his lips, and sucked and tongued the tender flesh while Tia writhed beneath him.
Her legs wrapped tightly around his waist, joining them even closer.
Slowly, surely, Luc brought her to another crest, angling his cock against her swollen, sensitive clitoris. Trading back and forth from one breast to the other, licking, nipping, sucking at her nipples, Luc wound his fingers into her thick mass of hair and drove deep and hard into her creamy heat.
The crown of his cock connected with the mouth of Tia’s womb on each downward thrust, his balls pressed against her perineum. She opened her mind fully, bringing him with her as her climax built.
He felt the clenching muscles deep in her belly perfectly aligned with the muscles in her cunt, the way his cock stuffed her so full on each stroke, then dragged the clasping tissues back when he withdrew. He discovered she liked how his balls slapped against her butt and the hard press of his cock sliding over her clit.
When he sucked hard on Tia’s nipple, he felt the shock all the way to her pussy, so he bit down on each one in turn and then gently tongued the hurt, building the sensation into an intense rhythm of pain and pleasure—hot, wet mouth, sharp teeth, rough tongue, chill of the autumn air.