‘I know. It’s just a part of my past that’s always haunted me, that’s all.’
She looked at him. Was this the reason he never stepped out of his comfort zone? Because he’d seen what could happen if you veered off track?
‘It was bound to. If it didn’t haunt you then I’d be concerned. It just shows you’re human.’
She touched his sleeve in companionable solidarity, glad that she could be there to comfort him at this time. It was also nice to hear more about him. He knew quite a bit about her, but she’d not really had the time to ask lots of questions about him. Even though it was a dark story she was glad that he’d shared it with her, and it helped her understand him a bit more.
‘You like helping people. It’s part of being a doctor. It just gets frustrating when you can’t help everybody.’
Olly smiled at her. ‘Thanks. You’re right. That’s why I’ve always enjoyed being a GP. It’s grass-roots medicine. Okay, you don’t have the thrill of the operating theatre, or CPR, or the exciting stuff most times, but I value its basics and the opportunity it gives me to get to know my patients.’
‘Have you ever considered any other type of medicine or did you always want to be a GP? Follow your father into the family practice?’
‘I always wanted to be a doctor—I knew that. It was only natural that I became a GP. But did I want to do anything else? No. I don’t think so. My heart has always been here.’
The parking area by the woods was empty, and Olly parked the car as close as he could to the stile that marked the entry point. Getting out of his car, Olly walked to the back and pulled out a flask and a thick blanket that he stuffed into a backpack and hoisted over his shoulders.
‘Just in case.’
Lula pulled on her gloves and zipped up her coat. It really was cold, and the snowflakes that were falling were large and heavy-looking.
The wood looked mystical in its white carpet, with the icing of snow upon the black, skeletal trees and the crows calling out from the treetops in protest.
It didn’t look like the sort of place that might be hiding a teenager. But they needed to look there. They needed to look everywhere.
She almost hesitated to ask. ‘Shall we split up?’
‘Let’s stick together as much as we can.’
‘I can’t see the path—there’s too much snow.’
‘Even more reason to stick together. If we wander off track it could become hazardous. There’s a stream somewhere in there, and lots of dips and hidden rabbit holes. There’s even a badger sett.’
Lula nodded, hoping neither of them would get an injury searching through what might be hazardous terrain. They could easily drop through a snowdrift and twist an ankle in a rabbit hole or something.
‘It’s a pity we haven’t got a sniffer dog.’
‘If we don’t find her that might be the next stage for the police.’ He looked grim.
They put their whistles around their necks and clambered over the stile.
Their search for Ruby had begun.
CHAPTER FIVE
‘RUBY? RUBY!’ LULA called out loudly, but the vast emptiness of the woods and the thick layer of snow seemed to steal her voice away.
Everywhere was pure white, and it was hard work walking through the deep drifts, lifting their knees up high for each step. It was like a winter workout. A workout that had both of them huffing and puffing within minutes.
The ground underfoot seemed not only slippery but uneven, and full of unseen hazards. Occasionally Lula spotted a perky-looking robin, hopping here and there, searching for food, but mostly she just saw the crows up high and hoped they weren’t an ominous omen.
There were a few animal tracks, but from what she wasn’t sure. She scanned the ground, hoping to see a trail of footprints, but if there had been any they’d already been covered by the thick falling snow.
Olly’s thick blond hair was covered in snowflakes and his cheeks were rosy. Looking at him, it was easy for her to imagine that they might have been on a pleasant winter walk, but the frown lines around his eyes and across his brow spoke deeply of his determination.
‘Ruby?’ he called.
There was no response.
They tramped on through the snow, hoping they were sticking to the path. At one point Lula stumbled, and she reached out automatically for him.
‘Are you okay?’ he asked, concern in his voice.
‘I’m fine! Just a tree root or something…’ She was anxious to reassure him, aware of how worried he might be.
But he pursed his lips and took her hand, slipping his fingers through her gloved ones. ‘Let’s take no chances.’
Lula’s cheeks warmed at the contact and for a moment she didn’t say anything. It felt strange to be walking through the woods holding Olly’s hand. When had she last walked anywhere holding anyone’s hand?
Years—that’s how long. But this is nice…
His hand was strong and firm. His grip relentless. There was definitely no way he was going to let go of her and let her stumble again. Though he didn’t seem affected by the contact the way she was.
Perhaps he’s just much better at hiding things than I am? I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve.
Or perhaps he was just keeping his mind on their task?
It might have amused her to know that his heart was actually racing. When she’d stumbled his stomach had flipped and his heart had almost literally gone into his mouth. He’d offered his hand without thinking. But now that he was holding her tightly he was intensely aware of the contact he had with her. He was doing his utmost to try and keep his mind on the task and definitely off the image in his head of pulling her into his arms and kissing her in the snow.
That would be kind of romantic. Kissing her whilst snowflakes fall gently onto our faces…
Lula felt him shiver and saw him mentally shake himself. She wondered if he was reliving that story about his mother. Wanting to offer her support, she gave his fingers a little squeeze and noticed him glance at her.
‘We’ll find her.’
He nodded. ‘Let’s hope so.’
‘She must be freezing if she’s out in this.’
‘Let’s just hope she’s conscious.’
Yes, Ruby would need enough medical attention already, having recently given birth, but if hypothermia had set in as well… A lot of people thought hypothermia simply meant you’d got a bit cold and needed some hot soup and a quilt wrapped round you, but it could be so much more life-threatening than that.
If you had hypothermia your body was unable to produce the range of protective reflex actions it would normally when you were cold. For example shivering—the activation of a mass amount of small muscle contractions—would be totally absent eventually, although at the onset of hypothermia shivering could be quite violent. People could become delirious, and also struggle to breathe or move about. They could suffer loss of judgement and reasoning and therefore end up in further dangerous situations.
What if Ruby had got herself into difficulties? What if she was already bleeding heavily and suffering hypothermia, too?
Lula trudged on, her head down, holding tightly onto Olly. She was glad she was out here with him. He seemed so dependable. So reliable. She knew he was the type of man you could trust.
The type of man you could love?
She glanced at him. Yes, he was. Easily. And that was why he needed to remain her friend and nothing more. She could imagine, in another situation, falling for Olly easily—but she wasn’t here in Atlee Wold for that. She wasn’t living her life to fall for anyone. There wasn’t much point. There was so much else she had to do in her life—fitting in all the things she wanted to do.
Since the leukaemia and the diagnosis of her infertility Lula had made a vow to herself to live life for her. Experience everything. Do anything. She couldn’t get bogged down in a relationship. She didn’t want to have to ask anyone’s permission to do anything. She wanted time and space to be her own
person. Olly could still be a good friend. There was nothing wrong with that. But that was all she could offer him.
Friendship.
She knew that people were capable of having relationships even though they knew they couldn’t have children, but Lula believed the need to procreate was strong in everyone. If you got into a relationship with someone the desire to have a child with them would be a natural progression. She didn’t ever want to be the cause of heartache and pain to someone else.
She knew what that felt like already.
She’d tried it.
There’d been a boyfriend during medical school. Gavin. He’d been carefree and happy and fun, and they’d gone out with each other knowing that fun was all they could have together. She’d told him about being infertile and he’d said he was fine with it, that he didn’t need to have children, that he had her and that was all that mattered.
Only it wasn’t.
Gavin had eventually changed his mind. Said he wanted children in his future. It had caused many arguments and heartbreak, and when they’d split up Lula had vowed never to get into a serious relationship ever again.
And she hadn’t.
And I can’t now, either.
Olly wanted a ‘perfect’ wife. Someone kind, considerate and loving—and someone who wanted to have children. He’d said it himself that time, driving home from the hospital. As far as Lula was concerned Olly had a big red cross painted over him, marking him out as unavailable.
Olly wanted children in his future. His traditional future. He was a traditional guy, after all. And she could picture him at some rosy point in that future with a wife and little sandy-haired children running around.
Lula couldn’t give that to him. Not in a million years.
Yes, there was adoption, and fostering, and all of that was great, but the need for your own biological child could still be a strong one. Knowing she could never provide a man with that was a big reason for her to stay away.
Because I don’t want to get hurt, either.
What would be the point in investing all that time in a relationship? Of loving someone only to have to break your own heart when it all fell apart at the end? Because it always did in Lula’s world. Children’s homes…foster parents…Gavin. It all broke down when someone wanted something more than you could give them.
‘Ruby?’ she called out.
Her voice echoed out in the white emptiness. They needed to find the teenager—and quickly. Hopefully she was at a friend’s house, or something as safe and un-terrifying as that. Hopefully this search wasn’t actually necessary. Perhaps she’d hopped on a bus and gone into town? Did Ruby have a mobile phone? She’d not asked the mother. If she did, she presumed someone would have called it by now.
Lula had to assume Ruby didn’t have a phone, or that she wasn’t answering it. It would be nice to think that Ruby was tucked up somewhere, warm and safe…
‘Ruby? Are you out here?’ she called again.
Nothing.
Silence.
Just the crows up above.
How had it felt for Ruby to place her baby on Lula’s doorstep and walk away? How had it felt for her own mother to place her on that beach and then leave? What did that do to a person? They had to be distraught. Heartbroken. Not thinking clearly.
They tramped on, Lula clutching Olly’s hand, each hearing the other breathing hard, feeling the other stumble or slip occasionally, holding on tightly, not wanting to let go.
It had been a long time since Lula had truly felt a part of a team. She’d always kept herself on the sidelines. Involved, but not part of things.
But here in Atlee Wold, with Olly, she could feel just how easy it would be to accept the place and him into her heart. It felt so right. It felt so…
Tempting!
But I can’t. It wouldn’t be right. Olly wants so much more from a woman…
Strangely, she felt tears prick at her eyes and quickly blinked them away. Where had that emotion come from?
I can’t cry!
Lula needed to keep this light-hearted. A fun, surface emotion—nothing too deep. When had she last cried?
I can’t remember.
She had once believed that a woman was entitled to a good cry every month. But Lula hadn’t cried for a long time. Why was that?
Perhaps not allowing myself to truly connect with people has done that?
With her spare hand she wiped the tears away with her glove and hoped Olly thought her eyes were watering from the cold. She could feel her nose turning red. Looking at Olly, she could see that his had turned a rosy colour, too, as they both huffed frozen breaths out into the air. She wanted to sniff—her nose was running…
Suddenly Lula slipped. Her left ankle went sideways, her foot caught some ice and she fell down, crashing onto her knees.
‘Oof!’
The ground beneath was solid and icy and the snow soaked her trousers.
‘Whoa! You all right?’
Olly knelt down beside her, his hands on her upper arms, care and concern in his bright blue eyes. The plumes of his frozen breath encircled her face and she tried hard not to stare into his eyes.
‘Yes, I’m fine.’ She thanked him and got to her feet, tenderly testing her ankle.
‘I told you it was dangerous. Perhaps we’ve gone off the path a bit?’
Olly looked around them and thought that maybe they had veered off track. The natural track through the trees was off to the right.
‘Come on—hold tight.’ He grabbed her hand again and they continued to walk, though her ankle felt a little delicate. She knew she hadn’t twisted or sprained it—the pain wasn’t bad enough for that—but she’d certainly jarred it.
The ability to see the surface you were walking on was something everyone took for granted. But when that view was obscured—when you didn’t know what you were walking on, or walking through—you couldn’t have any idea of how dangerous it was. You had to trust to luck…or trust the person who walked alongside you.
I trust Olly. I know he’s a man I can trust.
She knew she had to stop thinking of him in that way. But she couldn’t help it. He was just so easy to like and depend upon, and those good looks of his didn’t help any. He had a natural wholehearted appeal. He was a handsome, kind-hearted and generous man, who happened to be single, who happened to be holding her hand and trying to protect her. What was there not to like?
It would be so easy to kiss him and get carried away.
Even though her cheeks were already rosy from the cold and the exertion she flushed a deeper colour and felt her heart skip along a whole lot more merrily than it already had been! Thinking of Olly in such a way made her stomach do a tiny flip, too. It was like having a whole heap of cheerleaders in there, egging her on to find out how it would truly feel if she did give in to her desires and grab Olly and kiss him.
‘Ruby?’ she called again, trying to take her mind off her train of thought.
The track ahead curved off to the left, and then it looked as if there was a natural fork in the trail. She felt Olly slow, and when they got to the fork he stopped and frowned.
‘The path splits. We need to check both ways, but I’m not happy about you going off on your own.’
‘I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’m a grown woman. I’ve looked after myself this long without getting hurt.’ She smiled to take away some of the harshness of her words. She didn’t want to offend him.
‘But you’ve already slipped once, and you don’t know these woods.’
‘Do you?’
‘A little—though I must admit I’ve never had the opportunity to enjoy them fully during the summer. Always too much work on.’
‘Well, we need to check both paths if we’re to search properly. Do the paths conjoin further on?’
‘I think so. I’m sure I can remember Dad telling me they did. But it’s been so long…’
‘I’ll be careful, Olly.’ She pulled her hand free from his tight grip.
‘You be careful, too.’ She could see the uncertainty in his eyes.
‘Blow your whistle if you see any sign of her or get into trouble.’
‘I will.’
‘Promise me?’
If someone could market the perfect picture of a face filled with concern, then Olly was it. It was nice that he was so worried about her. But Lula was used to looking out for herself.
‘I promise.’
As she set off down her path she realised she could no longer feel her toes or her fingers. The socks she was wearing were normal socks, not hiking socks. They weren’t fit for the purpose of trudging through deep snow for hours.
I wished I’d thought of that earlier.
She held on to the whistle around her neck as she hiked through the thicker snow. Looking over, she could see that Olly was now out of sight. Perhaps he’d gone down a dip, or the number of trees was blocking the view of him. It felt good to know that he was somewhat close, though.
‘Ruby?’ she called, hearing Olly call the same thing in the distance.
There were indentations in the snow, so it looked as if someone might have walked this path earlier. She had no idea if it had been Ruby. It might have just been a dog walker.
‘Ruby? It’s Dr Chance!’
No response still.
She trudged on, slipping slightly, feeling the ice beneath the surface snow. As she went to correct her balance, putting all her weight on her left foot, the snow gave way. She landed with a thump on her coccyx before sliding part way down a bank and into icy-cold water up to her bottom.
‘Oh!’
When she struggled to a standing position the water was only ankle-deep, but her boots were going to be ruined and the back of her trousers was cold and soaked. The base of her spine hurt where she’d fallen directly on to it and she felt slightly winded. Turning, she noted the muddy track of her slide down into the water.
‘Great. Just what I needed.’
There was no way to tell where the edge of the small stream was, so she lifted up her feet in her water-filled boots and tried to find the bank. A tree root stuck out slightly, so she reached to grab for that and pulled herself through the water and up onto firmer ground.
His Perfect Bride? Page 8