I should have known then that I wasn’t going to make it outside, but maybe I’m as dumb as people say because I wasn’t ready for what came next at all.
Without so much as a word to me, only their cold eyes and evil smirks to go by, they grabbed me, Amy the worst as she had my hair tangled around her hands. Before I knew it, I was dragged into the girl’s washroom, and now I’m being slammed up against the wall.
Visions of what Eric must have endured the day before flash in my mind and before I know it, I feel the slap across my face and Amy directly in front of me as her friends hold my arms, pinning me in. I’m trapped. I can’t get free and even if I could, there’s no one in the school that I can run too. When I’m feeling alright, I can’t talk to most people. With the way I feel now, I’m not even sure I’ll ever talk again.
“Just what the fuck do you think you’re doing, huh? I saw you talking to Dillon earlier. I don’t know what you’ve done to Kayden, but you better keep your dirty hands off my man.”
She slaps me again and this time the minute the girls let me go, my body slumps to the floor from the impact. Any break I thought might come doesn’t materialize as I again feel her breath on my face, now down on her knees in front of me.
It’s only when she reaches into the pocket of her jacket, pulling out the cigarette, that I realize what’s about to happen. It’s never happened to me before, but I’ve heard about it. The entire school has. It’s the way that the girls do business. The guys on the football team haze kids using their fists, but the girls take it a step further. I just never thought I’d be on the receiving end of it.
The minute I hear the lighter flick, I flinch, which only causes the three of them to laugh and squeal in delight. I don’t see what’s so funny about any of this. Physically hurting someone is never funny. I might have a different sense of humor then most people, but I thought that would be universal. It’s wrong.
The minute I feel the lit cigarette burn into the hairs on my arm, I cry out in pain and start rocking in place. No one knows this, but rocking is a coping mechanism for me. It can take me out of the most stressful place and calm me, but it isn’t having the desired affect this time. Not even close.
That’s when it happens, the pounding of my heart, the fear in my mind and heart all crashing into me at once. The laughter stops immediately and all three girls release me, letting me fall back against the wall.
“Gross, she just pissed herself.” I hear Charlotte say, though it’s muffled with how blocked my ears are with the sound of my own sobs.
“Eww, there’s a puddle and everything!” Eve joins in. The only one completely silent is Amy, but it doesn’t take much to find out why. Opening my eyes slightly and looking up, I see her face. The sneer is still in place and she looks pleased.
“Stay away from Dillon, you hear me, stupid? Or the next time this happens, it will be a lot worse than a burn on your arm.”
I see her move out of the corner of my eye, going into one of the stalls and after a few seconds, she comes back out and throws what she’s grabbed at me. Looking down, I see a long strip of toilet paper and I know what it’s for.
“Now clean yourself up. You’re pathetic. If I hear that you went and snitched about this to that retard teacher of yours, I’ll come back again.”
I feel the blast of air as they finally open the door to leave, but I don’t dare make a move to get up until I’m sure they’re gone. When I’m sure that I’m alone, I wipe at my eyes before looking down at the stinging spot on my arm. It’s when I catch sight of the real damage they did, that I start to cry again.
Right above my wrist on my left arm is the red circular burn, so bright that it looks like it’s flashing at me. Running my finger over it, I flinch in pain as it begins stinging even more. I know that I need to get up and deal with the other thing that happened, but I can’t seem to move from my spot on the floor.
Not only is my hair completely pulled out of the ponytail holder, but my shirt is broken where the other two grabbed me so hard it popped the buttons. Add to that, the very large wet stain that’s now covering my pants and I don’t think I ever want to get up again.
I don’t understand why they did this to me. They should know that Dillon didn’t talk to me because he likes me. He did it for a completely different reason. Considering what they all did to me two days ago, it should be obvious what he’s doing. I don’t deserve any of this.
I just want this to end. There’s only one way that it ever will though.
When I’m dead.
Kayden
“You should have been there D, it was hilarious. The minute we lit the smoke, she pissed herself. I mean it was pouring out all over the floor. We all had to jump back before we got hit with it.”
“Did you do what I told you to?”
“Yeah, we did it, baby. Lit the smoke and put it right on her. She did a whole lot of squirming, but it’s done. We might have been able to do more if she hadn’t tried spraying us.”
This is what I walk into when I leave the library after returning Isabelle’s assignment to Ms. Taylor. This isn’t the first time I’ve walked into this exact conversation, though this time I have no idea who the target was. Truthfully, I don’t want to know. I always said that burning people would come back to bite us and with this newest one, I can’t help feeling that way even more.
“Yo, where the hell you been man?” Dillon asks as he finally notices me walk up.
“I had a meeting with Coach.” I answer, lying my ass off. As much as what I read earlier got to me, I’m not ready to be open about it, especially not with these guys.
“I was wondering if you were gonna show up. I missed you.” Charlotte says as she scoots across the bench the minute I sit down, sliding her legs over mine, as if I wouldn’t get the hint just from her words that she wants me.
Girl’s man, I wish they’d get a clue.
“So what’d I miss?” I ask completely ignoring Charlotte, which I see the minute she realizes it, earns me a pout. “Who did you guys burn this time?”
The way everyone looks at each other puts me on edge. The sick feeling that I finally got rid of is back again and this time it’s even worse than before. I put the pieces together at the exact second Tim speaks up.
“The retard. Dillon came up with the idea in study hall and man; you missed out on some fun shit. It went down perfect.”
“Beyond perfect.” Amy chimes in with a grin. “At least until she pissed on us.”
I’m so angry listening to them laughing about what they did to her that I’m seeing spots in my eyes and they aren’t the ones you get when you’re dizzy. They’re red, just like the rage that’s threatening to boil over in me any second. If they don’t shut the hell up, I’m not going to be responsible for what I do.
It’s taking everything in me right now not to rip their throats out. I did everything Dillon wanted, so why the hell are they still going after her?
The minute I think it, I realize I already know the answer. They aren’t doing this to scare her. It’s all about me. Charlotte’s reaction when I showed should have been the first clue. I’ve known for awhile she likes me and with Dillon catching me talking to Isabelle this morning, I’m sure he passed it along. It means they aren’t doing any of this just to get to her, they’re doing it to get to me. They’re getting their wish too because all I want is them dead at my feet.
The bathroom.
I should have known to check there for her earlier. If I had gone there, instead of the library, maybe none of this would be happening now. Amy and the others always take their victims there. They put an out of order sign on the door and do their business, no one the wiser.
Shit. This is my fucking fault.
“Kayden, you alright man?” I hear Tim ask as I get to my feet again, this time clear on my destination.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just realized I need to hand in a paper for History. He gave me two extensions already and if I don’t hand the damn thin
g in, he’s gonna flunk me. It’s half the reason Coach wanted to see me so bad. I’ll catch up with you later.”
It’s a lame excuse and I’m pretty sure one of them is gonna see through it, but it’s the last thing on my mind. All of this is happening now because of me. There is no way I’m going to leave her in the bathroom with the way they’re talking about everything. She deserves better than that.
As I go back into the school, Ms. Taylor’s words play over in my head the more I propel myself forward.
“You’re a good guy, Kayden Walker.”
She’s wrong. If I was such a good guy then none of this would be happening right now. No, I wasn’t the good guy she believed me to be. I was the worst kind of guy. There’s only one person alive that I don’t want to be the worst for.
As I reach the bathroom, I take a quick look around, praying there aren’t any teachers around to see me do what I’m about to. It’s against the rules to be caught doing this and with as much shit as I’ve caused lately, I didn’t need this being my last strike. Content that there’s no one around that’s gonna stop me from reaching her, I push on the door.
Where I expect it to push open easily, I slam into it, my face smacking off hard, my body stumbling back in response to the violation. Shaking off the sting my face takes as it hit, I push at it again, this time putting all of my body weight into it. When it doesn’t budge, I realize what I’m going to have to do.
As much as I don’t want to involve anyone, if the only way to get to her is to get one of the janitors to unlock the door, it’s something I’m gonna have to do. There’s no way I’m leaving her in that bathroom one second longer then she’s already been. I’d deal with the fallout later.
It’s only when I hear a sound from the inside that I place my head to the door. After a few seconds of silence, thinking that I’m just hearing things, I hear it again. It’s faint, but it’s a girl’s voice and she’s calling out for help.
Shit.
It’s Isabelle.
Chapter Nine
Belle
Someone is banging on the door.
They’ve been doing it non-stop for the last few minutes and it’s bothering me. I’ve covered my ears with my hands, tried rocking back and forth, nothing blocks it out. It gets louder and not even sticking my fingers in my ears gets rid of it. I just want it to stop and it won’t.
Even though it took awhile, I tried my best to clean the floor underneath me. It’s still stained and wet, but at least there isn’t a puddle anymore. I really hate having accidents, but I hate the mess it leaves behind more. As much as I hate what they say to me when it happens, it isn’t a lie. It does smell.
The problem with the smell is, I don’t usually notice it as much, but this time, it’s all I can smell so while I tried to clean it up, I got sick. Now not only am I burned and soaking wet, my brand new shirt is broken and damp. I want to get out of here so badly, but I don’t have the strength to open the door and leave. The minute I open the door people are gonna see me like this and they just can’t. I’m barely hanging on as it is.
I want my mom.
There’s what sounds like yelling in the hall, but I can’t make out the voices. All I know is that whoever is on the other side of the door is angry. So angry that I don’t ever want them to get the door open because if they do, I’ll be right back where I started before. Scared, alone and making a fool of myself.
Why did I agree to this when she asked me about it? I could have easily told her that I didn’t want to go to school, that I was safer at home and she would have found a way around it. Why did I have to do the right thing and say yes, so that she could finally have a break from me? All I want is to go home and never come back. I never should have said yes to this. Home school might be lonely, but at least I wouldn’t be a crumpled mess on the floor.
The door opens and I crouch into myself, not wanting the people that are bound to walk in to see me this way. It’s not as if I can hide all of it, but I really don’t want to look anyone in the eye. I’m such a mess. A gross, disgusting mess and all I want is to be left alone in it, the way Amy and her friends wanted me to be when they left me here.
“Jesus Christ, Isabelle!”
Before I can even register the voice, I feel myself being lifted up from the floor. Keeping my eyes shut tight, I wait for what comes next. The voice sounds concerned, but with the way everything goes here and how much stuff goes unnoticed, I’m not sure of what I’m hearing.
“I’m here now. I’ve got you. You don’t have to be afraid anymore.”
I know the voice now, the more it speaks and it’s the last voice I want to hear. It’s the voice that no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to get out of my head even though he doesn’t belong there. He hasn’t earned it. He’s a jerk, or as he says, an asshole. He’s definitely the last person I want seeing me like this.
His arms wrap completely around me, my body being pulled into his and I fight against it. I don’t want to be held by him. All I want is my mom. I want to go home, crawl into my bed and never come out again.
“Thanks, Jim. If you bring the bucket, I’ll clean this up for ya.”
“You sure you don’t want me to get someone?” the voice I can only assume is Jim answers. I know Jim. He’s the custodian for the school. He’s actually been at more than one accident scene with me. Jim is nice. Jim isn’t Kayden.
“No man, I got this. Just bring me the stuff and I’ll handle it.”
There’s a gust of air as the bathroom door shuts and I feel his body shift beside mine. It’s only when he breaks away from me and makes his way toward the door again that I realize he’s leaving and the sob escapes my throat.
“I’m just locking the door, Belle. I’m not leaving.”
It’s as if he knows that even though I don’t want him here, I also don’t want him to leave. I can’t even open my eyes. I’m just standing here, barely keeping myself balanced, shivering, shaking and waiting for him to come back. I’m not even sure I can move on my own anymore.
This is the worst it’s ever been.
Before I know it, his hands are on me, except this time, they’re placed on my shoulders and it’s when I feel his hand under my chin that I realize what he’s trying to do and I shake my head. No. I can’t look at him. If I open my eyes and look into his, I’m going to crack even more and I won’t do it.
“Belle, please look at me. I swear you’re safe. I’m alone, there’s no one here but me.”
I keep shaking my head and I hear him sigh. I know I’m not making this easy on him, but I didn’t exactly ask for him to open the door now did I? What did he expect me to do?
“Okay fine. You don’t have to look at me, but I’m gonna ask you some yes or no questions okay? All you gotta do is nod or shake your head. Can you do that for me?” he asks, his voice so low, it’s almost relaxing. Not at all the way I’m used to hearing it. There isn’t a hint of anger or frustration at all.
I nod my head slowly, accepting what he needs from me, but still keeping my eyes firmly shut.
“Did they burn you?”
Again I nod my head and this time I feel his body tense. He didn’t attempt to slam anything the way he did in his car, but it’s obvious he’s not happy with what I’m telling him. The minute I nod though, I realize that telling him, I’ve done what they told me not to and now they’re going to come back again.
I start shaking my head no repeatedly and suddenly the hands that were on my shoulders are on my head preventing me from the continuous motion.
“Did they tell you not to tell anyone?”
I nod and he sighs.
“It’s okay. They won’t ever know you told me. I swear to you. Now, do you have spare clothes?”
I shake my head, embarrassed that I didn’t take the emergency bag when I left this morning. Normally I’m so good about making sure I have it with me just in case, but today I rushed out the door and forgot. It figures the one day I forget is the day that everyt
hing happens.
Even more proof of how stupid I am.
“I’ve got some sweats in my locker. Would you wear them?” he asks, his voice still calm, but his body remaining as rigid as ever. He doesn’t know he’s doing it, but his voice is soothing me, something I didn’t expect to happen, but I’m thankful for.
I nod my head, though I’m not sure I want to be wearing anything that belongs to him. He’s best friends with the people that did this to me; the last thing I want to be doing is taking help from him. He’s probably the reason this happened.
“One more question. Can you handle being here alone while I run and get them?”
I’m not sure about my answer to this one so I make no attempt to move my head in either direction. The last thing I wanted was for him to see me like this, but now that he has and the affect he seems to have on me since being here, I’m not sure I want to be left without him again. He’s all I’ve got.
“Isabelle? Did you hear me?” he asks again and this time I nod my head. I had been alone for god knows how long already; a few more minutes wouldn’t make a difference. I only hope that in agreeing to this, I don’t live to regret it.
“Okay. I’m gonna go grab them, but I want you to lock the door behind me. When I come back, I’ll knock like this,” he says as he knocks twice on the wall. “That way you know it’s me and you can let me back in.”
I nod my head one more time and feel him break away from me, this time prepared for it and even though I still feel like I’ve lost something, it’s not nearly as bad as it was the first time.
The gust of wind enters the bathroom again and focusing with every bit of strength I have, I open my mouth, needing to get the words out before they eat me alive. I only hope that this time it works.
“Thank—you.”
Kayden
Count On Me Page 8