But that hadn’t happened. He was so stupid he could see it now like his own comet in the sky. That would be the comet that was going to wipe him out.
This was squeeze the heart, protect with your life, make babies and die together kind of falling in love—which was a whole different scenario and one he’d vowed never to be a part of ever, ever again.
He glanced out the window into the wall of darkness beside him and forcibly resisted the urge to slow the ambulance until it stopped, open the door and just walk away.
He was trapped. Trapped by his promise to Steve for another week, trapped by internal walls he’d trusted to protect him, trapped by the woman beside him who had crumbled those walls with her straight talking and straight looks that flew straight to his heart, and now he was in deep trouble.
He couldn’t help it. He went into defence mode. Couldn’t stop it. If she hated him, good. He needed distance for the next few days until he could get himself away.
‘If it happens again, I’ll ask for a different midwife.’
Bonnie blinked and the curve of her lips dropped with shock. He was joking. Wasn’t he? Her head swivelled to look at him and he was staring straight ahead with his mouth a grim line and cheeks stiff and stark in the reflected light. He wasn’t joking. ‘What did you just say?’
‘I won’t have my patients put at risk again. All pregnant women will be in Alice Springs a month before they’re due.’
Bonnie’s mind raced. What the heck had happened in the space of a minute? ‘Certainly, Doctor. Perhaps we should send them when their pregnancy tests come up positive. At ten weeks.’
The stranger said, ‘I don’t want to discuss it any more. You know how I feel.’
Bonnie shook her head, still reeling but very close to telling him where to go. ‘I know how the other doctor who was here five minutes ago felt, but this new guy is a pain.’
She would have said more, hadn’t even started on what she felt like saying, but another road train had stopped at the side of the road and the driver waved them down.
Good. Anything to get her mind off the slow death she was planning for Harry.
Harry was pleased at the distraction too. He wasn’t happy with the option his brain had chosen—to alienate Bonnie—but he guessed it had worked. She looked ready to jump out of the car herself.
This day was never going to end. He slowed and pulled up beside the truck driver as Bonnie wound down her window.
‘You okay?’ she asked, but he could see the man was holding his right arm tightly across his chest.
Trouble was confirmed when the man said, ‘Got me fingers caught in the cattle gate.’ He grimaced. ‘Doesn’t feel right.’
‘Let’s see.’ Harry climbed out and Bonnie opened her door to get the bandages from the back, he guessed. Dell and Bernie climbed out and Harry could hear her rummaging through the drawers for the first-aid supplies.
By the time she’d returned to the truck driver Harry had him sitting on a log and was ready to bind the fingers.
He pretended to the world that everything was normal. He pretended to himself. ‘Bonnie, this is Blue.’
Typically, Blue had a thatch of bright red hair that glowed even in the dark. His name was standard country humour about redheads, probably his nickname since school days.
Blue was in pain, Harry could see that, because his plastering of freckles stood out starkly across his nose and his pale face. Maybe not too much pain because his eyes lit up when he saw Bonnie, and Harry felt himself frown.
‘G’day, there, Bonnie, you’re a sight for sore eyes,’ Blue drawled. He tipped his Akubra and the twinkle in his eyes was unmistakable. Blue was a larrikin, no doubt about it, and Bonnie didn’t seem to mind.
Bonnie smiled at the man in a way that seemed just a little too friendly and made Harry realise just how far he’d sunk.
‘Hello, there, Blue. Nice to meet you,’ she said. ‘I’ll bet your fingers throb like blazes.’
Harry cut her off. ‘Looks like you’ve broken two, and damaged the thumb badly.’ He glanced at Blue’s pale face, ‘Lucky you didn’t chop them off, judging by the slice here.’
Blue nodded, distracted from Bonnie, Harry was pleased to see, and much less amused. ‘Yeah. Thought I did, happy to count ‘em after I got ‘em out of the gate.’ He shrugged. ‘At least the cattle didn’t get out. One of the bolts worked loose and I’d fixed that first—bloody lucky—before I stuffed meself.’
Harry made short work of stabilising and binding Blue’s fingers and then looked up at the truck. ‘You’ll need X-rays and suturing at the clinic at Uluru, we’re the closest. Can you squeeze in the back with the others?’
Blue looked doubtfully at the ambulance and then at his truck. Harry correctly interpreted his concern. ‘Sorry, I can’t drive your rig. Can you phone someone to help?’
Blue scratched his head with his good hand. ‘Might take a day or two and the cattle need to get to the sales.’
Bonnie stepped between them. ‘If you sit in the cab with me, Blue, I can drive you to the medical centre, then you could take over once the doctor’s fixed you up.’ Bonnie turned her shoulder away from Harry to face the injured man and Harry saw Blue’s eyes widen even further in admiration. Harry didn’t miss that.
She went on, ‘I worked out at Kununurra and drove a rig like this from Halls Creek six months ago when the driver had chest pain and we couldn’t get help.’ She glanced dismissively at Harry. ‘The doctor has the ambulance covered.’
Of course she could drive a truck with three trailers on a dirt road. He probably could too, if he wanted to. She and Blue would have a lovely time. Harry felt like swearing but refrained. At least the man was injured. And he had no right to even think like that.
‘You go ahead, Doctor,’ Bonnie said firmly.
It was all good. He’d get space to get his head around how he was going to get out of Uluru without Bonnie finding out. And he’d bet Blue would look after her. Harry dug his toe into the dirt and then flicked a rock out towards the grass. It was great she could drive the rig. Really.
‘Let’s load up, then.’ Harry glanced at Bernie, who obediently jumped into the back, and Dell paused as she surveyed the empty passenger seat. ‘I’ll come and sit beside you then, Doc.’ Auntie Dell was happy. ‘I reckon that’ll be real comfy.’
‘Lovely,’ Harry said through his teeth. They all climbed in and Harry started the ambulance.
‘Ya know …’ Auntie Dell had been thinking. ‘You and her should start a birth place for the women around here, Doc. Them girls don’t wanna go away from their families to have their babies.’
Harry almost laughed out loud at the simplistic concept. ‘It’s a bit more complicated than that.’
‘Nothing complicated about having a baby. It’s getting the girls five hours’ drive away at the right time that’s complicated.’
The next day, Bonnie saw very little of Harry. If she entered a room he exited unless it was medically impossible, and at those times they were both too busy to worry about anything.
Even when Leila, the little girl they’d met at the Rock that first morning, came in with her mother and Auntie Dell with a nasty dose of gastro, Harry had eyes only for the toddler, and the way he cajoled the little one to a smile made the difference in his attitude to her even more noticeable, at least to Bonnie.
He stroked the child’s fine hair as he looked at Shay. ‘You might need to take Leila to the hospital at Alice Springs.’ He shook his head at Leila’s slightly sunken eyes and dull skin and erred on the side of caution, as usual.
Shay cast an agonised glance at Auntie Dell, who cast one at Bonnie—who suppressed a sigh. She was almost over going in to bat for everyone else.
That was what happened when a workplace lost equality between professionals. This was all Harry’s fault. If she didn’t know better, or try to believe better anyway, she’d say he was being as difficult as he possibly could just to incense her.
They bo
th knew it was hard for the women to get to Alice Springs and how unpleasant the journey would be with a sick child. Leila wasn’t quite sick enough for the Flying Doctor to pick up and really just needed a watchful eye and some IV fluids.
‘Shay wondered if we could try with IV fluids here,’ Bonnie said steadily. ‘Through today anyway. And see if Leila improves.’ She glanced away from Harry’s expressionless face to the mother, whom she smiled at to relieve the tension. ‘Because that’s what children can do.’
Shay smiled back with relief and Bonnie added, ‘Then Leila could go home and get checked again in the morning.’
At least Harry considered it. ‘And if she gets worse?’
‘You’d check her before she went home and, of course, Shay would bring her back during the night if she was worried, wouldn’t you, Shay?’
Shay nodded vigorously and Auntie Dell nodded once, firmly. Come on, Harry, Bonnie thought with a sigh. The little one is sick, but not critical, and was even starting to improve in front of their eyes. They could handle this here for the moment and maybe the family wouldn’t have to be thrown into upheaval.
Thankfully he seemed to listen to her for a change, and even snap out of his mode enough to agree, albeit grudgingly. ‘I’ll check her later and decide then. Before three o’clock.’
Good. Bonnie threw in for good measure, ‘Shay’s Tameeka’s older sister.’
‘Really?’ Harry’s face twitched into a smile she didn’t expect. ‘How’s Tameeka doing with her baby?’ Harry asked.
‘Real good,’ Auntie Dell answered for her niece with a big white grin. ‘Bernie’s telling everyone how amazin’ that birth was.’
‘Great,’ Harry said, and glanced at Bonnie. ‘Hope we aren’t going to have a rush of last-minute labours.’
Bonnie smiled grimly to herself. She’d asked for that. But he had seemed in a better mood. Though it was easier to hate him when he was a pain. Nice Harry was too hard to ignore.
She kept Leila until late in the afternoon, when, with the resilience of children and the extra fluids they’d infused, the little girl was ready to go home with her mum and Auntie Dell.
‘I’ll just get the doctor to check her one more time, Shay.’
Leila’s mother nodded and Bonnie tracked Harry down in the records room, checking statistics. They looked like antenatal ones. Now what was his problem?
‘Can you see Leila now, please? She looks much improved.’
He nodded and followed her out to the main assessment room. The little girl even smiled at him and Bonnie felt the tug of her heart at Harry’s rapport with the little one.
‘You were right, Bonnie,’ he said after they left. ‘She didn’t need to go.’
He offered her a strangely whimsical smile she didn’t know how to react to. ‘I want to finish what I’m doing tonight and then I have something to show you. Probably tomorrow.’
He paused, then added, ‘You’ll be glad when I’m gone and a reasonable doctor arrives that you can work with.’ He didn’t give her a chance to answer, just walked away, and Bonnie shook her head. Her heart might not agree but it was getting that way.
The next morning Bonnie felt unwell. She must have caught the bug Leila had because the thought of breakfast was not a pleasant one.
Her face paled and she rushed for the bathroom. Obviously the thought was enough.
Afterwards she fell back on her bed and wiped her face with the washer she’d grabbed from the sink. Whew. At least she felt a little better now.
She reached across to the night table and picked up the phone to ring Vicki and let her know she’d be late when someone knocked on the door. She groaned. She hoped it wasn’t Harry. Today was not a good day.
‘Go away,’ she muttered into the empty room. The person knocked again and she sighed as she sat up gingerly and finally made her way over to the door.
She leant her head on the edge of the door as it opened. ‘Not this morning, Harry. Not well.’
‘What’s wrong?’
‘Haven’t searched for a diagnosis, Doctor,’ she said faintly, ‘but I’m guessing I caught Leila’s bug.’
‘You look like death. Back to bed.’ He pushed her back into the room gently and pulled back her covers. ‘In you go.’ She climbed in and he tucked her up like Gran used to do. Thankfully there was no sign of the grumpy doctor at all, and it felt weepily good.
When her head hit the pillow she closed her eyes, but she could hear a rattle in the corner of the room and Harry reappeared with the metal wastepaper bin and a glass of water. ‘Just in case.’
He grimaced in sympathy. ‘Sip water. I’ll be back in a while to check on you. I’ll bring some lemonade or something.’
Bonnie heard the door close quietly and she sighed. At least she didn’t have to try to go to work. She felt rotten.
By ten o’clock she felt fine. ‘Shortest bug in history,’ she said to Vicki when she walked in.
Harry’s consulting-room door opened for him to show out a patient and he stopped when he saw her. ‘What’re you doing here?’
‘I’ve recovered and I’m bored.’
Harry looked at his watch. ‘It’s morning tea time for me. Fancy some food, then?’ He was looking at her strangely and she frowned at him.
‘Only if you want some.’
His frown was heavy. ‘I think so.’
He was acting oddly. Just an uneasy prickling that made her look at Vicki with a lift of her brows. Vicki shrugged in silent reply, as if to say, ‘I don’t know what’s up with him.’
Bonnie had no choice but to duck under his arm as he held the door open for her.
‘It’s too far to the coffee shop. How about a cup of tea in the dining room?’
‘Okay.’ This was getting stranger by the minute.
He ushered her into the deserted dining room and plugged in the kettle. Then he sat her down. ‘Steve’s found a replacement for me and he flies in tomorrow. I fly out in the evening.’
Bonnie bit her lip. She hated fighting with him but she wasn’t sure she wanted him to go. In fact, she was darned sure she didn’t want him to go, which was weird when he drove her insane.
‘Where are you going?’
‘I’m heading to Katherine to finish something I should have finished a long time ago. Then I’m going on to Darwin. I’m meeting a few people who are interested in a proposal I might have.’
‘That sounds good, Harry. Vague, but I’m glad for you.’
Then he said something totally off topic. ‘It’s five weeks since you left Bali.’
Time flew. Or did it? It felt like a year. ‘So?’
He was peering at her. ‘You were nauseated this morning.’
Horribly so. His point was? ‘And?’
‘Aren’t you suspicious?’
‘I’m getting a bit suspicious of you. Have you been drinking, Harry?’
‘This isn’t a joke.
‘Okay, Harry. Enough guessing games. Yes, I was sick this morning. What of it, Harry? Maybe I didn’t wash my hands well enough after looking after Leila?’
‘Come on, Bonnie. You’re a midwife.’
Bonnie blinked. ‘What.?’ Then it dawned on her what he was talking about. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. No! One time.’ She shook her head. ‘I have one word for you. Protection. That’s why they call it that.’
She shook her head at his presumption. ‘I thought you had tickets on yourself the first time I saw you.’
He glanced down at the floor and if she wasn’t mistaken she’d almost think he was disappointed. Good grief.
But when he looked up his eyes were sharp again. ‘Then you’ve had a period since Bali?’
Now she was getting angry. And just a little worried as she calculated madly. ‘Spare me. You may be a doctor but you’re not my doctor.’
She stood up. ‘Have a good flight tomorrow, Harry. If I don’t see you, that will be good.’
Harry watched her walk away. Well, that hadn’t gone well. Understatemen
t. He’d been sitting in his office before his last patient when it had hit him. And nothing could unconvince him that was why she was sick. He didn’t know why he was so positively certain. He’d checked dates, they worked out. He’d checked the net, it was unlucky but possible, and all he’d need to do was find out if she knew.
She didn’t but he still didn’t rule the possibility out. And the really strange thing was, now that the absolute worst that could have happened might have happened, he actually felt euphoric.
It was ridiculous but curiously liberating. There was no use running away. If it had happened. And actually worked with his new plans, as long as she’d have him.
If he was lucky, he was going to have to watch a woman he loved go through a pregnancy and he would have to conquer his fear. As Bonnie was fond of saying, he had to trust Mother Nature.
Because he wanted to be there. Wanted to see every change, be a part of every new experience, see the things he’d missed out on last time, be there for the normal birth that he would have to learn to trust in. The birth of Bonnie’s baby, and his.
Now all he had to do was convince her he was a sane and sensible man, which could be difficult given his behaviour over the last few weeks.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
BONNIE escaped to her room, steering down the empty hallway like a remote-controlled car, not sure who was driving while her mind raced.
She pushed open the door and pulled it shut behind her back. When she leant against it the wood was the only cool thing on her body. She stared at her pale face in the mirror on the wall and slowly closed her eyes.
Her fingers inched reluctantly down until she rested them over her pelvic bone. She was pregnant. No period, nausea, slight tenderness when she’d put her bra on that morning. Good grief.
How the heck had this happened and how could she not be absolutely devastated? Well, she knew how it happened but the lack of a sense of impending doom surprised her. Because it wasn’t there. She was stunned and shocked but below those initial layers of disbelief lurked a tiny secret whisper of joy.
Harry St Clair: Rogue or Doctor? Page 14