“With most women I put everything out there and tell them to take it or leave it. Most of them take it with no objections but I could immediately tell you weren’t like most women. So with you I was careful and methodical. I made sure not to show you too much too soon. You’re truly like no one I’ve ever met before. I’m drawn to you on every level — not only sexually but also emotionally — and I never had that before with anyone in my adult life.” Trevor squeezed my hand. “So I was happy to play boyfriend-girlfriend if that’s what I had to do to keep you in my life. But I should have known better. I should have known that eventually what I was trying to keep from you would fight to come out and my… my proclivities would get the best of me. I can’t hide who I am from you anymore. Part of me is dying inside, and fighting who I am is preventing me from being the best partner that I can be to you.” Trevor sighed and looked away. It looked like he had released a ton of bricks.
I let go of Trevor’s hand and caressed his back with my palm. “Trevor, I don’t know what to say. Part of me is flattered that you worked so hard to get me but I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t feel betrayed that you haven’t shown me who you really are. We talked about this in L.A. when we first started seeing each other. Remember how upset I was that you weren’t letting me in all the way?”
“Yes, of course I remember,” Trevor responded quietly.
“Back then you said you would work on opening up and allowing me to see all of you. You said as long as I had an open mind that everything would be okay. And I assured you that I would never judge you and I was open to getting to know you… all of you. What happened? Why did you still feel you needed to put on a show for me?”
“I don’t know Giavanna. I’m one of the most fearless people you’ll ever meet. I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks of me, but as much as I hate to admit it, I guess I was afraid that you would reject me. I’d already allowed myself to get too invested in you too soon and I didn’t want to lose you. And just so you know, it isn’t just all about me. Of course I didn’t want to get hurt but more importantly I didn’t want you to get hurt. There are certain parts of myself I hid from you because I wanted to protect you. You’re so bright and bubbly and pure. I don’t want to ruin you Giavanna.”
“I really appreciate you trying to watch out for me. But I told you the very first night we met that I don’t need to be protected. I’m a big girl, Trevor. And I’m not as pure as you think I am. I’ve been trying to tell you that. Maybe I’m not quite as hardcore as some of your friends on the hard rock scene, but I’m no angel. And I have seen and heard everything you can imagine in my capacity as an entertainment journalist. So just what is it that you’re trying to protect me from?”
“Okay Giavanna, before I say anything further let me get this right. You think you’re hardcore enough to explore my world?” Trevor smirked arrogantly and raised his eyebrow.
“I don’t really know what you’re asking Trevor. But yes I’m hardcore enough to explore your world whatever that means,” I responded, making air quotes around the words ‘hardcore’ and ‘your world.’
“Really there is no need to get sarcastic here Giavanna,” Trevor scolded.
I immediately felt bad. “I apologize.”
“It’s okay, just don’t do it again.”
“Whatever Trevor, now continue with what you were saying.”
Trevor glared at me before taking a deep breath and softening his gaze. “Now I’m trusting you to listen with an open mind and not to judge.”
“Alright, you have my word. So just what is this act you’ve been putting on all about? What are you trying to hide?”
Trevor took a deep breath. “Are you familiar with the BDSM lifestyle?”
“No not really. Some of my friends read BDSM erotica but I’ve never gotten into it. I’m not really familiar with the lifestyle except for what I’ve heard in passing on TV and stuff… oh, and what I saw at The Catacombs the night we met.”
Trevor’s eyes lit up at the mention of The Catacombs. The night we met in L.A. I went to The Catacombs to see Trevor’s band perform. I had never been there before and I had no idea what kind of establishment it was but I went because I knew Trevor would be there and I wanted him to ask me out. We had been rudely interrupted by his bandmate, Vin, when I first introduced myself to Trevor at The Standard in West Hollywood. Even though our conversation was brief I knew Trevor was interested so I followed him to the venue where he was performing, only to find out it was an underground sex dungeon. When my friend Brandon and I were wandering around we stumbled upon a dominatrix disciplining a man who was chained to the wall with a ball gag in his mouth. And later that night after Trevor told me he didn’t want to hook up with me because he wanted to get to know me first, I peeped in on him and his date Christina, having sex in one of the lounges. There were no whips and chains but there was lots of spanking, biting and psychological domination. Ever since that night I’ve wanted to know more about Trevor’s sexual proclivities. He still doesn’t know I saw him and Christina hooking up. They broke up that same night because Trevor found out she was cheating on him with his bandmate Vin, after Trevor came to my rescue when Vin physically attacked me. It was a wild night. As far as I know Vin and Christina are still together, but I’m not totally sure because Trevor kicked him out of the band and stopped associating with him after he tried to hurt me. Trevor and I have been inseparable from that night on but we’ve never talked about Vin, Christina or The Catacombs since we’ve become an item.
“Oh yeah, what did you see at The Catacombs?” Trevor raised his eyebrow.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I smirked.
“What were you really doing there that night anyway? I’ve been thinking about it for the last two months. When I first saw you there that night my gut reaction was that you didn’t belong there. And now that I’ve gotten to know you more I really think that you don’t belong at a place like that. What made you want to check out that place while you were on vacation?”
“Do you really want to know?”
“Yeah.” Trevor leaned in close in anticipation.
“You.”
“Me?”
“Yeah, you.” I smiled.
“What do you mean?”
“After we talked at The Standard I knew that I wanted to see you again and I had the feeling that you felt the same. But with your high profile and all I knew that it was possible that we may have never crossed paths again if I didn’t take action. My buddy from the reality show L.A. Life who was with me that night told me that your band had a show at The Catacombs and he offered to come with me if I wanted to go. Then we bumped into you almost as soon as we got there. It worked out more perfectly than I could have imagined. Well aside from the part where you practically ran away from me and told me we could probably never be together because we came from two separate worlds. Everything was perfect except for that.” I giggled.
“Right, right. So you stalked me that night? I knew it!” Trevor laughed. “So did you know it was an underground BDSM club before you went there?”
“No, I had no idea. My friend Amber said I may meet some weirdos there but I didn’t really know what she meant. Amber doesn’t really like the hard rock scene so I thought she was just worried I would be seduced and badly influence by some bad boy rock star or something. Oh wait that actually did happen. Apparently, sometimes Amber knows what she’s talking about.” I laughed. Trevor laughed with me and caressed my cheek.
“I’m not quite sure what you’re talking about missy, but I haven’t even come close to badly influencing you… yet.” Trevor’s eyes flickered with a devious excitement.
“Is that right?” I held his gaze and nibbled on my bottom lip.
“Man, are you sexy. As much as I’d like to take you again tonight we have to finish our discussion.” Trevor’s expression hardened a bit.
“Alright, what else is it that you want to say?”
“I was going to try and finesse thi
s but I think you’re actually more open-minded than I give you credit for so I’m just going to come out and ask you.”
“Yes, please do. I’m not a part of one of your business deals. I don’t need finessing. If you want to say something just come out and say it.”
Trevor narrowed his eyes at me. “Fine, Giavanna. I want you to be my submissive,” Trevor said curtly. My mouth dropped open and my heart palpitated as I tried to wrap my head around Trevor’s statement.
“Wait, what?” I scrunched up my face. “Is this some BDSM erotica?” I laughed incredulously. Trevor stared at me in silence. If I wasn’t mistaken I thought I saw a glint of animosity in his eyes. The intensity in his gaze made me uncomfortable. I looked away and began fidgeting with the scraps of food left on my plate.
“No. This isn’t some BDSM erotica. It’s the lifestyle that I have chosen and that I happen to take very seriously,” Trevor snapped back.
“I’m sorry. Did I offend you or something?” My tone came out more sarcastic than I intended.
“I don’t think this is a good time for sarcasm, Giavanna.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. And I really am sorry I laughed at what you said. I assure you I wasn’t laughing at you. I was just shocked. That’s all. And to be totally honest I’m not even sure what you’re asking. My friends at work talk about Dominants and submissives — or Doms and subs as they call them — when they describe the stories they are reading. It’s just something I’ve heard about in a fictional setting. I actually had no idea people acted as submissives in real life. I just thought it was something made up. I don’t even have any idea what being a submissive would entail. So I can’t even consider becoming one without having more information. I do know I’m not a submissive person though. But I wouldn’t mind dressing up in a leather catsuit and buying a whip and some stilettos if that’s what you’re asking.
Trevor slammed his forehead to his palm. He looked down and rubbed his temples in silence as I sat there totally confused. “I don’t know where to begin Giavanna.” Trevor let out a dramatic sigh. “First, yes Doms and subs are real roles that real people take in real life. It’s not just a make believe thing. It’s a real lifestyle that takes real commitment. There is a sector of the population that just does role play which is pretty much getting dressed up and playing make believe while pretending to be a Dom or a sub. I don’t know why but for some reason most people don’t realize that dressing up in leather for a night does not make one a Dom or sub anymore than dressing in a black cape, face paint and fangs makes one a vampire. And more importantly, if you were my submissive you wouldn’t be donning a leather catsuit or a whip. That would make you look like a Dominatrix and I’m not really into that.” Trevor exhaled and ran his fingers through his shaggy dark hair. “Explaining my lifestyle to you is going to take a lot more time than we have tonight. It’s already late and we both have to work early. How about we continue this conversation tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay.” My mind was racing but I was exhausted and I welcomed a break from the intensity of our discussion.
“Hey, did you like when I tied you up earlier?”
“Yeah.” I blushed.
Trevor’s eyes lit up. “Did you like the way I fucked you?”
I nodded my head enthusiastically and an involuntary smile spread across my face. “Yeah!”
“Good, because if you become my submissive you will be getting a lot more of that. Would you like that?”
“I don’t know about this submissive stuff but more of what I had tonight? Yes please,” I beamed.
“That’s my girl. You may be more interested in being a sub than you think.” Trevor kissed me on the forehead.
“Um, I don’t know about that,” I responded hesitantly.
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”
“Deal.” Trevor started clearing our plates and putting them in the dishwasher. I stood up from my seat and stretched.
“Oh! I just came up with a terrific idea.” Trevor’s eyes lit up.
“Oh yeah? What on earth could that be?” I smiled at Trevor’s energy. His mind was always going. Even after a twelve-hour day, a trip across the country, mind-blowing sex and an intense conversation, he was still going. He amused and inspired me.
“Tomorrow night we’re going to do a little role play.” Trevor smiled.
“Oooh! Do we get to dress in leather?”
“No.” Trevor furrowed his brow.
“What then?” My curiosity was piqued.
“I’m going to teach you about my lifestyle and what I expect of my subs, but here is the cool part. I’m going to give you a little taste of what it’s like to be my sub while I teach you. We’re going to do the oldest Dominant and submissive role play in the book. Student and teacher. I will send one of my assistants out to buy you an outfit. And after we have dinner tomorrow evening I’m going to school you on my lifestyle. It should be an enjoyable experience for us both but if there are any infractions I will discipline you. Got it?”
I was too exhausted to put up a fight, but I had some serious reservations about even pretending to be Trevor’s submissive. I had no interest in being disciplined either, but the idea of having Trevor as my teacher excited me. I was ready for bed and didn’t want to get into a debate, so I decided to oblige him since it was only going to be for one night. “Got it.”
“Good.” Trevor gave me a soft kiss on the lips.
We brushed our teeth and crawled into bed together. I was so relieved that Trevor didn’t break up with me. Even though we’d only been dating for less than three months and throughout that time we’d really only seen each other on the weekends, I had really grown attached to him. From day one I could tell there was a lot he was holding back. We spent every day of my vacation together when I was in L.A. in the fall, but we weren’t having sex. I was so frustrated that I did something that I still feel guilty about today. Trevor and I weren’t exclusive yet and at the time Christoff and I had been broken up for over three months so I was a single woman but I still feel like what I did was wrong. I was spending all my time with Trevor and letting him court me but the moment Christoff texted me and said he was in L.A. I jumped at the opportunity to meet up with him. Christoff and I had mind-blowing, earth-shattering sex that night. I will never forget it. I knew I shouldn’t have been sleeping with Christoff because I was getting to know Trevor, but Trevor was holding back so I couldn’t help myself when Christoff made a move on me. He is literally irresistible, as is Trevor, but at the time Trevor wasn’t fulfilling all of my needs.
When I talked to Trevor about how I was feeling he insisted that if we were intimate too soon it would ruin our perception of each other. And he probably forgot he said this but he revealed that he was into some really dark things in the bedroom but he didn’t get into specifics because we were in public. Neither one of us ever brought up the issue again because on the last day of my vacation he gave me a beautiful platinum necklace with a diamond-encrusted apple that he called forbidden fruit. He said the necklace symbolized the complexity of his feelings for me and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I accepted, and that night we finally had sex. Unfortunately, the first time we were intimate wasn’t as good as I anticipated. I guess I couldn’t help but to compare him to Christoff in my head, and no one, not even a superhuman billionaire rock god, could compare to Christoff in the bedroom.
Even though I still missed Christoff sometimes, I knew I made the right decision in picking Trevor when I had to make a choice. Trevor is quite the charmer. Even though we were over two months in, I felt like he was still formally courting me, and I loved it. And I’ve never been one to be superficial, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t appreciate what a great provider Trevor was. I had grown accustomed to the billionaire lifestyle quite quickly. At first he was worried that I wouldn’t be able to adapt to luxury because I had never experienced it, but I got the hang of it almost instantaneously. I was really comfortable in hi
s lavish penthouse. And I really enjoyed having access to his staff. I’ve never been a great cook or a good housekeeper, but now I didn’t have to worry about any of that. He even sent a cleaning lady to my apartment up north that I rarely stayed at. Trevor and I ate the finest foods together and drank top-of-the-line wines and champagnes. I tried to go back to consuming mainstream cuisine and spirits and I couldn’t. My body physically rejected it. I have no idea how I had been surviving before Trevor came along. And not only was Trevor charming, romantic and a great provider, but he had grown into a fantastic lover. Each time we had sex it got better and better. It was never bad — it just wasn’t as good as Christoff’s sex… at first. But tonight Trevor blew my mind. I lost count of how many orgasms I had. And I loved the way he tied me up and fucked my mouth. He had never done that before. We had always had what I think of as married people sex but today Trevor’s inner rock star really came out. And he did say if I agreed to be his sub there would be more of that.
BWWM: Bad Boy Billionaires Box Set (A Bad Boy BWWM Billionaire Collection) Page 19