“I don’t think I fall into the category of a masochist.”
“Do you like to be on the receiving end of physical stimulation?”
I thought about Trevor’s question for a while before answering. “Yes, I do, very much so.”
“Well then you have an inner masochist that just needs cultivating. Trust me on this one. You don’t have to understand that aspect now, but you’ll remember this conversation later. Your question reminds me. I want to talk about what BDSM is not. What makes BDSM different from what you’re probably thinking is that consent is extremely important in a good BDSM relationship. Doms aren’t supposed to tie up their subs and torture them. Each party in a BDSM relationship agrees to their limits in advance. Everything is negotiated. There is a contract and everything. If you agree to be my sub I will push your limits to help you grow, but everything will be for your greater good. I would never do anything to you that you didn’t want to me do. I couldn’t, that would be an abuse of my power as a Dom. My favorite part of being a Dom, aside from the control aspect, is the responsibility that comes with nurturing and caring for my sub.”
“Forgive me for sounding stupid but I don’t understand. I didn’t think there was any nurturing in a BDSM relationship.”
“You don’t sound stupid Giavanna. Most people don’t understand the intricacies that go on in this kind of relationship. That’s why we’re having this lesson, so you can learn. A good Dom tends to all the needs of his sub. If you become my sub I would take care of all your wants and needs, both in and out of the bedroom. I would teach you and help you grow, both emotionally and sexually. And I would be your protector and provider. I get so much pleasure from taking care of you, being in control of your pleasure, but you haven’t fully relaxed into the relationship enough to let me do what I do best, and neither have I. If we had a formal arrangement where you were my sub, both of us could reach new heights. When I tied you up last night so that you were completely under my control, you came harder than I’ve ever seen you come before… and multiple times at that. I felt in my element that night, like I was doing what I was born to do. And I know you felt the earth move. I want our whole relationship to be like that moment.”
I gazed up at Trevor as he finished speaking. He looked so powerful and authoritative in his black designer suit and crisp white button-down. He had taken his tie off and the top two buttons were undone. I wanted to run my tongue across his exposed neck. The mention of last night made me wet. What if our entire relationship could be like last night? That sounds amazing… almost too good to be true. Hmm. I took a deep breath and crossed my legs to neutralize the unwelcome sensations I was having. I had to think with my head, not with my body, if I was going to make the right decision about maintaining my independence.
“Well I’m not going to lie. I would love if our entire relationship could be like what we had last night. But is that even possible? It seems too good to be true?”
“Anything is possible Giavanna. I don’t believe in too good to be true.” Trevor put air quotes around the words ‘too good to be true.’ “If I did I wouldn’t be a billionaire, and I wouldn’t be a rock star. Many people would never even strive to accomplish what I’ve achieved because they think it’s too far-fetched and that they’ll never have it because it’s too good to be true. But I don’t think like that. The sky is the limit. If you were my sub, I would show you a whole new world. Giavanna, I can take you higher than you’ve ever been before.”
Trevor did make a valid point. Our life together had already exceeded my wildest dreams. There really were no limits to Trevor’s magnificence — he had already proved that in the short time that I’d known him. He was a superhuman billionaire rock god, who played by his own rules. My body quivered as I thought about how Trevor could broaden my horizons if I let him. I crossed and uncrossed my legs. I wanted to buy what Trevor was selling, but deep inside I knew that even if Trevor was an amazing Dom, I definitely didn’t have it in me to be a good submissive.
“I believe you Trevor. You’ve already made me happier than I could have even imagined. And I would love to partake in what you’re describing. But there has to be a catch. If I become your sub, how will the dynamics of our relationship change? What will I have to give up?”
Trevor rubbed his chin and looked off into space for several moments. My heart skipped a beat when his eyes met mine again. His gaze was penetrating. “There is no catch per se. I’m not trying to trick you into anything Giavanna.” Trevor spoke carefully. “There would just be a shift in trust. As my sub, I would expect you to open up and give all of yourself to me, at all times. I will demand your complete and absolute trust. As your Dom, I will become your teacher, your provider, and your disciplinarian. I will expect you to do as I say, without question. As my sub you would allow me to be in complete control, because you would fully understand that all of the decisions that I make, in and out of the bedroom, are for your greater good.”
I sat in silence for a few moments. I couldn’t fully wrap my head around what Trevor was asking of me. I’ve always prided myself on being strong and independent. Ever since I moved out of my parent’s house when I was nineteen I’ve never answered to anyone. I’m headstrong and confident. I could never trust anyone more than I trust myself. On one hand, I couldn’t imagine answering to anyone. On the other hand, I secretly thought it would be nice to relax and let someone else be the protector and provider. I’ve always worn the pants in every situation. It would be a good change of pace to give someone else the reins so I could relax. Perhaps it would be good for me to be able to get to the point where I felt comfortable giving someone my complete trust, both sexually and emotionally. My body tingled at the thought of giving all of myself to Trevor, but my stomach was in knots over the thought of being powerless. I took a deep breath as I mentally weighed the pros and cons. Ultimately, the idea of being a sub was so contrary to everything I stood for. There was no way it would work, but for some inexplicable reason I couldn’t bring myself to give Trevor a firm ‘no’ yet.
“Trevor, this is something I would really have to think about. This is so foreign to me. I don’t know what I think of all of this. BDSM is definitely something different than I thought it was. I’m definitely more open to it than I was before, but I still don’t know if it’s for me.” I paused while I gathered my thoughts. “You said there was a contract?”
“Yes there is a contract, so that we both understand each other’s wants, needs, and responsibilities. The contract is flexible within reason. We will negotiate everything until you are completely comfortable with it. Remember, I derive happiness from knowing I’m taking good care of you, so I would never push you into an arrangement where you didn’t feel safe.”
“Hmmm, I’d like to see the contract and have some time to think about it before we discuss anything further.”
“Fair enough. I will leave you a copy in an envelope on the breakfast bar tomorrow, before I leave for California, and we can discuss it on the way to my parent’s place in Cleveland.”
“Gah! I almost forgot about our trip. I slammed my palm to my forehead. I agreed to work late all this week. I can’t leave town.” I was flustered by the thought of disappointing Trevor. He really wanted me to meet his family and spend Christmas with them. He wanted to meet my family too. They live in Cleveland as well, but there is no way I’d tell my parents or my sister that I was dating Trevor. They already thought I was a rock star groupie — if they knew I was dating the lead singer of Alpha Deity I’d never hear the end of it.
“No worries, Giavanna.” Trevor walked over to me and stroked my hair. “I have to work a lot this week too, so I need to push the trip back until Monday. You were planning on working from home the week of Christmas anyway, right?”
“Yeah, I don’t have to go into the office next week.”
“Perfect. Then it all works out. I will fly to Chicago Sunday and we’ll spend the night here together and then we will leave Monday early afternoon.
It’s only an hour-long flight, so we will get there in no time. I got us all tickets to see the CAVS game, so that should be fun.”
“Ohmigawd!! I haven’t been to a CAVS game in forever. I’m so excited!” I bounced up and down and clapped my hands together. Seeing the CAVS play at home was one of my favorite pastimes when I was younger, but I haven’t lived in Cleveland for a long time so I stopped following Cleveland sports. It was already cool enough that Trevor and I came from the same hometown, but the idea of seeing my favorite team with my favorite man was blowing my mind. “Trevor, thank you.”
“Actually going to the game was my dad’s idea.”
“Well please tell your dad I said thanks times ten!”
“Will do. Actually you can tell him thank you. You’ll be seeing him in less than a week.”
“Right. I’m kind of nervous to meet your parents. What if they don’t like me?”
Trevor took my hand in his. “Giavanna, I am my own person. I don’t care what they think of you. I’m just really happy that I will get to spend the holidays with both you and them, and I don’t have to choose. My dad likes everyone, so no need to worry about meeting him. My mom is a different story. I expect you to respect her but I realize more than anyone that she can never be pleased. So if for whatever reason she does not approve of you, I won’t hold it against you, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Now I bet you thought I probably forgot about your discipline, but I haven’t. You showed up to our class today pretty tipsy, and you acted out, so I’m going to have to spank you. Have you ever been spanked before?”
“No.”
“Okay, then I will go easy on you this time.” Trevor’s words hit me in the pit of my stomach. His dark brown eyes had an ominous glow. What did he mean ‘this time’? I took a deep breath as I waited for what was to come. “I want you to go over there, pull your panties down, and bend over my desk.”
I hesitated before getting up and walking across the room to Trevor’s desk. My heart raced with anticipation. I was so nervous. I wasn’t sure if I would like being spanked, and I was afraid that it would hurt.” I pulled my panties down just as Trevor had instructed and I bent over his desk. I felt exposed and vulnerable. Trevor walked up behind me lifted my skirt up and caressed my bottom. His touch made me tingle. “Your ass looks delightful. I’d like to fuck it one day. Somehow we’ve never done that before.” Trevor sighed. “Would you like that? Would you like for me to fuck you in the ass sometime?” Trevor continued to touch me.
My face flushed red. I felt virginal and inexperienced. “I’ve actually never done that before,” I responded quietly.
“Oh yeah?” Trevor sounded amused. “Well we’re going to have change that.” Trevor continued to stroke my bottom and squeeze it intermittently. I was turned on beyond belief. My body ached for him. I wasn’t sure about letting him penetrate me where I’d never been penetrated before, but I liked the way he talked to me, and the manner in which he was touching me. “Alright, I’m going to spank you with my hand, then I’m going to give you five strokes with this ruler.” Trevor tapped the desk with the ruler. “Then we’re going to cool down.”
Trevor rubbed my bottom with more fervor for a few moments before swatting me with his hand. The sensation gave me chills. He caressed the spot where his palm had just come into contact with my delicate skin. He struck me again, then again harder this time before massaging where I felt my bottom turn red. My heart was racing and my breaths were shallow and quick. It hurt and felt good at the same time. Trevor struck me hard six times in row with a firm hand. The force and rhythm of his strikes made me throb for him. He massaged my bottom with firm, deep strokes. I was so turned on that I began to involuntarily grind my hips. Trevor knelt down and bit and licked the fleshiest part of my bottom before swatting me four times in a row. I moaned with delight, even though my bottom was stinging.
“Alright, we’re almost done now.” Trevor caressed me gently. “You’re doing great. Five strokes with the ruler, then we’re done. I’m going to count them out.” Trevor brought the ruler down across my backside. I felt my blood rush to the spot where the ruler had just come into contact with my skin. “One.” Trevor rubbed my bottom, and the stinging sensation was replaced by a warm, sensual feeling. Trevor brought the ruler down again. It stung. “Two.” He struck me again. My body writhed. “Three.” I was in pain, but surprisingly I was wet with excitement. He swatted me again and I cried out. “Four. We’re almost done.” Trevor soothed and caressed my stinging backside before gently tapping my clit from behind with the ruler several times then swatting my bottom again. “Five.” An involuntary moan escaped me. I was breathless and my body was pulsing with sensation. Trevor kissed and caressed my bottom as I took several deep breaths to try and slow my heart rate. I was both in pain and turned on at the same time. My face was hot with mixed emotions. I felt vulnerable, disconcerted and euphoric all at once. I welcomed Trevor’s touch as he massaged and kissed my bottom, while I came down from the volatile high of my first spanking. I felt tears well in my eyes but I didn’t quite know why. I’d never had so many sensations and emotions pulse through me at once. It was overwhelming.
“You did great Giavanna,” Trevor soothed as he stroked me with feathery light touches. “You can pull up your panties now.” I quietly did as told. My bottom was sore and I was both exhausted and exhilarated. Apparently, Trevor wasn’t kidding when he said he was going to show me a whole new world. I had never experienced anything quite like the discipline he just administered. “Alright, I need to get to bed now. I have a few things to take care of before I leave for L.A. tomorrow. I know that was probably an emotionally grueling experience for you. So let’s get changed for bed and I’ll hold you until you fall asleep. How’s that sound?”
I struggled to find my voice. “That sounds great,” I responded almost inaudibly.
“Good. I will leave a copy of the contract tomorrow. I really hope that you’ll agree to be my sub, so that we can take our relationship to the next level. But don’t worry about making a decision tonight. You learned a lot — you experienced a lot. Let’s get some rest and start fresh tomorrow.” I nodded. For some reason I didn’t have much I wanted to say at the moment.
We got dressed for bed in silence. Trevor took off his suit and stripped down to his boxer briefs. He looked phenomenal. He was tall and perfectly toned. And his thick dark hair and mesmerizing brown eyes complemented his fair skin and fine features perfectly. I stared at him as he turned down the covers. He was beyond perfect. I wanted him to consume all of me. I wanted to belong to him completely. I felt the overwhelming urge to relinquish all control to him and let him have his way with me indefinitely. In that moment, as I admired Trevor wearing next to nothing, I discovered a submissive part of me deep within that I hadn’t known existed. This was the first time ever that I’d felt even the slightest desire to be totally dominated by a man. The afterglow of my first spanking left me vulnerable, needy and hungry for Trevor’s power and control. I welcomed Trevor’s warmth as we crawled into bed together. I laid on my back and Trevor climbed on top of me and pinned me between his hard body and the softness of the mattress. He was heavy, but it felt good to be pinned beneath his weight. I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed as I allowed myself to become enveloped by him. He stroked my hair and kissed me on the cheek. I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him into me. I had an insatiable need for him. I ran my fingers through his hair and he kissed me on the neck slowly and sensually. A warm wave of pleasure and peace washed over me.
“I can’t wait until you belong to me, Giavanna. There is so much I want to show you. I know you’ll make the right decision,” Trevor whispered in my ear. I was glad Trevor had so much faith in me but I didn’t know what I wanted. Part of me that I never knew existed wanted to totally submit to Trevor, but deep down inside I knew his lifestyle wasn’t for me. Being a submissive was so contrary to the essence of my very being. I’m a female alpha, I’m indepe
ndent and I love making autonomous decisions, but I did enjoy being spanked, and I liked being tied up even more. I was so confused. I comforted myself by holding on to Trevor more tightly as I fell asleep.
Chapter 3
BY THE TIME I woke up Trevor was already in his office. I showered and put on a cozy, cream-colored sweater dress, with a pair of dark brown leggings. I wanted to get to work early so I would have enough time to finish those extra projects I promised Kevin I’d complete. My mind was so consumed by what I had to get done at work I’d almost forgotten about my dilemma, until I saw the manila envelope waiting for me on the breakfast bar as promised. There was a note on it with Trevor’s hand writing.
‘Here is the contract you requested. Remember the terms are negotiable. We’ll discuss in route to Cleveland on Monday. Please read and consider with an open mind. Yours, Trevor.’
I ate my breakfast with record speed. I couldn’t wait to read the contract. I still hadn’t made up my mind about how I was going to tell Trevor that I didn’t want to be his submissive. I thought about just asking him if we could continue on as we had been in a traditional relationship. Maintaining the status quo would be the easiest route. But part of me didn’t want that. I really cared about Trevor, and I knew he cared about me, but I felt like we weren’t growing in our relationship. We barely saw each other. And I felt like he wasn’t completely being himself around me. He was being the boyfriend he thought I wanted him to be, when really I wanted to know all of him. I felt like there were so many aspects of his personality he was keeping from me. We hadn’t been together for that long, so I guess it’s appropriate that we didn’t know everything about each other yet. But I desperately wanted to get closer to Trevor and to take part in his world, yet I didn’t want to give up my autonomy.
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