When we boarded the plane the captain informed us that it would be a slightly longer trip than usual because of high winds. There was a time when just the idea of flying terrified me, but over the past year I’d learned to conquer my fears. I was so nervous that Trevor was going to bring up the contract that I didn’t even have room to worry about the rough flight ahead. I had never been on Trevor’s private jet before. I hadn’t traveled since my vacation to L.A. in the fall, and Trevor had always come to see me so we’d never had the opportunity to fly together. I was excited to get a glimpse of how he traveled. His jet was arranged similar to a living room. At the front of the plane there was a set of four oversized white leather seats that faced each other. Across the aisle was the same setup. Perpendicular to those seats there were two white leather sofas across from each other with black tables in front of them and then at the back of the plane there was a curtain. I was curious what was behind it. Trevor loved to show off his toys, so I figured there was no harm in asking.
“Ohmigawd, Trevor! I love your jet! I’m so glad I finally get to see it.”
Trevor smiled for the first time since I’d told him about my dinner with Kevin. “Thank you. I designed it myself. I’m glad you like it.”
“What’s behind the curtain?”
“I’ll show you. You’re going to love it.” Trevor grabbed my hand and led me to the back of the plane. Beyond the curtain was a king-sized bed with an elaborate comforter and lots of pillows. To the right of the bed was a desk and chair that were built into the side of the plane. “This is my office and my bedroom when I’m on the road. One day I want to have you in that bed.” Trevor embraced me from behind, swept my hair to the side and kissed my neck. I felt his hardness swell against my bottom as he forcefully pressed into me. He nibbled my earlobe as he caressed my breasts. “Have you ever had sex at forty thousand feet Giavanna?” Trevor teased my ear with his tongue as his hands traveled down my stomach and between my legs. He caressed my clit through my leggings. I was throbbing for him. I didn’t answer his question because I actually did have sex at forty thousand feet just this past summer with Christoff. It was an experience unlike any other, but there was no reason for Trevor to know about that. I pushed into Trevor’s hard, warm body to stop myself from thinking about Christoff. “Oh the things I want to do to you Giavanna,” Trevor breathed. I moaned as Trevor grinded against me. He was so hard for me. He bit and sucked on my neck as he continued to caress between my legs. “But this trip is too short, and we have important matters to discuss.” Trevor abruptly pulled away from me. “Isn’t that right?” He smacked me on the ass hard. The sensation made me gasp. I was so riled up that I was speechless. I wanted to collapse with longing. “Right, Giavanna?” Trevor prodded firmly.
I jumped. “Right… important matters to discuss,” I mumbled. I didn’t want to discuss the contract. I wanted Trevor to take me in his bed while we still had some privacy. We were staying in his parent’s guest room instead of a hotel, so that Trevor could spend more time with them. We were originally going to stay at the Ritz Carlton downtown, but Trevor’s mother insisted we stay with them in the suburbs. He told me they had a pretty comfortable home, so I was looking forward to staying there, although I didn’t like the fact that we probably wouldn’t be able to have sex while we were there. Due to the nature of our long-distance relationship, Trevor and I didn’t have sex often enough as is. He was frustrated by it and so was I. I knew staying with his parents was not going to make that aspect of our relationship any better.
“Do you have the contract with you?”
“Yes, it’s in my bag.” I pulled out the manila envelope and handed it to Trevor.
“Good. So are you going to sign it as-is, or are there terms you take objection to?”
I thought for a moment before answering. “I’m conflicted about the whole thing.”
“I don’t understand. What’s there to be conflicted about?”
“Trevor, there is a lot to be conflicted about. If I sign that contract I will have to change who I am.” Trevor looked taken aback.
“What do you mean you’ll have to change? And why do you say change like it’s a bad thing. We should all try to change and grow as we progress through life. If you’re not growing you’re dying. Change is what keeps things interesting, and growth is what keeps us alive.”
The captain’s voice came over the speakers, telling us to take our seats and prepare for takeoff. Trevor led me to the sofas at the center of the plane. We sat down and fastened our seatbelts. Even though I knew he was on the wrong side of the argument, I didn’t have a counter-response for Trevor’s comment. His point actually almost sounded valid.
“I agree with what you’re saying, but change is just as scary as it is exciting. I guess I’m just nervous. I don’t want to change anything, because I like our relationship the way it is.”
“Do you really? Think about it and be honest. You and I both know that our sex life could be better. I know that I jack off to the thought of you three times a day when we’re not together. I get my release often enough to function, but barely. Getting off to the thought of you just isn’t enough for me. I need you to be more accessible to me so that I can take you whenever and however I please. I know you are frustrated too. In fact, I’m not even around enough to know how you’re holding up, but I do know the lack of intimacy between us is starting to get to me. If you submit to me I will be able to fulfill all of your needs beyond belief, and neither one of us will have to be frustrated any more. What could be scary about that?”
I quivered at the mention of Trevor getting off to the thought of me. He was quite persuasive. Maybe signing the contract would make things better for both of us, at least in terms of our sex life. I knew that Trevor had the skill and the power to satisfy all my desires and to help me discover desires I didn’t even know I had. I know I’m not a submissive person, nor will I ever be, but perhaps I should just submit to him. I might actually gain something from it… Maybe? I drew a deep breath to try and settle my racing thoughts. “That’s not the part that scares me, Trevor. In fact I like that part, but I don’t want to have to defer to you on all the decision-making. I like being my own person.” I pulled my shoulders back to give myself confidence.
“Giavanna, there is no need to fear deferring to me. All the decisions that I make for you will be in your best interest. And of course I will always consider your wants, needs and preferences in every decision that I make. As your Dom it would be my job to keep you happy and I would intend to do just that.”
I sat quietly as I thought about the things Trevor had said. He had a valid and persuasive counter-argument for every objection. I could see why he was so successful in business. Even though I was really against it at first, in this particular moment signing the contract seemed like a good idea in my head. But for some reason it didn’t feel right. I just wanted a normal and healthy relationship. But I guess normal and healthy was asking for a bit much, considering I was in a relationship with a man who was a creative genius. Both geniuses and artists are notoriously eccentric and many are a little unhinged. I knew that Trevor was different from the beginning, but I just didn’t know to what extent. I was starting to sense that there was more darkness lurking beneath the surface than he’d let on. He was so good at pretending to be normal, but I knew him enough to know that he had many complex layers, many of which I had only seen a glimpse of. Trevor is anything but normal. That’s not to say that he isn’t amazing. In fact, he is almost superhuman. Trevor is an extraordinary and impressive man, and he always treated me like a princess. Part of me felt like I owed it to him to sign the contract. He had given me so much, it was about due time I gave something back. But I knew there had to be a way that I could make him happy without becoming his submissive. All relationships take work. There was no reason that Trevor and I couldn’t meet in the middle if we really tried.
I drew a deep breath as I thought about what I wanted to say. “You know what Tre
vor? I believe you would be a good Dom and I know that you would take really good care of me. But I’ve never done this before, so I’m not completely comfortable with it. Why can’t we just have a normal relationship, where we both make each other happy, with no contract, and no dominance and no submission? Can’t we just stick with a traditional relationship and make an extra effort to see each other more? What would be wrong with that?” I pushed.
Trevor leaned back in his seat. His jaw was clenched and he furrowed his brow. It looked like he was thinking so hard that it physically hurt. His eyes glistened with emotion. Clearly something I said pained him, but I couldn’t put my finger on what it was. He looked away for a few moments before swallowing hard and clearing his throat. Something had really upset him. “Giavanna, I would love to be able to give you the type of relationship you’re asking for. And Lord knows you deserve that and more. But the problem is, you’re asking me to give something I don’t have. I’m not capable of maintaining the type of relationship you’re describing. I’m really sorry. But it’s best you find out now, before you get too emotionally invested.”
I felt like I had just been punched in the stomach, and the changing altitude didn’t help. I thought I was going to be sick. “Trevor, where’s the bathroom?” I stood abruptly.
“It’s the door right before you get to the curtain. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I just need a moment.” I took a deep breath and scurried off to the bathroom. I locked the door behind me. The bathroom was luxurious and clean. I had never seen anything this nice in an airplane before. I sat on the floor and rested my back against the door. My breath caught in my throat as I tried not to hyperventilate. It sounded like Trevor was going to break up with me if I didn’t sign the contract. What did he mean, it’s best that I find out now before I get too invested? I already am invested. Trevor, please don’t leave me. I brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around myself to stop myself from crying. After a few moments I closed my eyes and realized I was overreacting. He didn’t say anything about breaking up with me. Maybe he was willing to make at least some sort of compromise, even if it wasn’t the exact relationship I was looking for. I pulled myself to my feet and decided to go out there and talk to Trevor about how I was feeling instead of being sick over it. I grabbed a paper towel and dabbed the sweat from my brow. Thinking about the contract really stressed me out. I took a deep breath and joined Trevor again on the sofa.
“Babe, are you feeling okay? You don’t look so good.”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I was just starting to feel a little airsick but I’m okay now. And to be honest I was rather hurt by what you said. It turned my stomach a little.”
“Why’s that? What did I say?” Trevor looked genuinely perplexed.
“You said it’s better that I find out the truth now before I get too invested but the thing is I am invested. I really want this to work Trevor.”
“Well if you want this to work then you’ll agree to be my sub. I’m just as invested in this as you are, or at least I’m trying to be, but my feelings can only go so deeply with the type of relationship we have right now. Like I’ve told you, this is the longest I’ve ever maintained a traditional relationship. I really do care about you, but it hasn’t been easy. I want you to be mine, to do with as I wish, and right now I feel like I’m still courting you and you aren't really mine. I want to make what we have real. I want you to belong to me and in return I want to give you all I have. But I can’t do that unless you let me.”
I had a sneaking suspicion that Trevor had been holding some things back, but I had no idea how tortured he was in our relationship. The fact that what we had wasn’t making him happy pained me. I felt a lump grow in my throat, and my face flushed red. I bit my lip to keep myself from crying. “Trevor, why didn’t you tell me you were unhappy? Why didn’t you speak up sooner?” I croaked as I choked back tears. Trevor put his arm around me and pulled me in close. I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes.
Trevor spoke softly. “I didn’t tell you how I was feeling Giavanna, because I knew that you didn’t want to hear it. I figured it would upset you. I feel like I’m probably giving you mixed signals right now, but I want to be clear. I do want to be with you. You revived a part of me that I thought had died twelve years ago with my last real relationship. But what I’m saying is, I can’t go through the motions with you any more. I want to take what we have to the next level. I want you to be my submissive. Will you let me train you to be my sub Giavanna?”
I was grateful that Trevor was finally opening up and being honest with me, but he was right — I didn’t like what I was hearing. It was pretty clear that neither of us wanted to let the other go, but we both wanted different things. “I want to meet you in the middle, I do. But I can’t understand why you can’t just be my boyfriend Trevor. Why? Why is having a normal relationship so difficult for you?” My tone was more accusatory than I’d intended. I felt Trevor’s muscles tighten and he took his arm from around me.
“It’s a really long and unfortunate story Giavanna… one I’d rather not share. Besides, it won’t do either of us any good to over-analyze why I do what I do. The fact of the matter is, I’m not good at relationships. I am incapable of truly connecting with another human being, aside from when I am in a committed Dom/sub relationship. That is the only time that I really thrive emotionally. Besides spending money, domination is the only way that I know how to give of myself. I don’t want to be this way but I am, and you poking and prodding at me isn’t going to change that. Now please stop asking so many fucking questions.” Trevor’s tone was tense and his eyes flickered with contempt. I had really set him off. I deeply regretted prying. I didn’t intend to upset him. I was simply trying to get to know him. I would have taken back the question if I could. Trevor stood abruptly. “I need a beer. Do you want anything?” He sounded cold and detached.
“I’ll take a bloody mary if you have the mix.”
“Of course I have bloody mary mix, Giavanna. I have everything. When have I ever not had something that you wanted?” Trevor snapped as he prepared a drink for me.
“I don’t think you want me to answer that Trevor,” I snapped back. I didn’t appreciate his tone.
“I dare you to. I’ve always given you everything you asked for and more. I know you can’t say otherwise with a straight face.”
“Bullshit. I just asked you to be in a normal relationship with me and you said you had nothing more to give!” I exclaimed. The words just fell out of me. I immediately regretted what I said as soon as the words left my lips.
“You little bitch.” Trevor glared at me. “Why don’t you just take everything then accuse me of giving you nothing? How selfish and unappreciative could you possibly be? I can’t believe you’re going to sit here on my private jet, drinking my bloody mary, on the way to my family’s house, and treat me this way — when I already told you I’m trying the best I can! Fuck that.” Trevor slammed his hand down on the table. “I really don’t need your shit right now… or ever for that matter. Enjoy your drink.” Trevor’s words came out loud and harsh. He thrust the bloody mary at me, grabbed his beer, and disappeared behind the curtain that separated the sofas from the bedroom area.
This was the first time I’d ever seen him really lose his temper. Usually I was the emotional one and Trevor was calm and calculating, even when he was furious. But this time he really flew off the handle. He’d never talked to me that way before, and it was lucky for him that he hadn’t. I could be just as nasty as him if I wanted to be but in this moment I was too stunned to retaliate. I was furious that he had been so disrespectful to me but I was also hurt. His words cut deep. As angry as I was, I felt kind of guilty for provoking him. Maybe Trevor was really trying and I was actually the selfish one like he said. Or maybe he was just an arrogant asshole… It totally had to be the latter. I was so upset I wanted to scream. I chugged my drink to try to take the edge off. My face was hot with emotion and
my stomach was in knots. I took a deep breath and allowed myself to cry. Holding it in hurt too much. I probably would have been better off to have just signed the contract. I was really stressed about the fact that Trevor and I were going to be together all day every day for four days straight and he was mad at me. I could always stay with my parents, but the thought of being with them and my sister for close to a week caused me even more distress than the fight with Trevor. Actually both scenarios were equally bad. Not only were Trevor and I fighting but we were going to have an audience. I really didn’t want to argue in front of his parents. They would of course take their son’s side, and I would look like the evil girlfriend.
I closed my eyes as I tried to stop myself from shaking. I couldn’t believe Trevor raised his voice at me. I didn’t even know how that fight happened. Everything escalated so fast. Trevor and I rarely fought, at least not like this, but then again we were rarely together. I took a few sips of my bloody mary and pulled out the contract. I read it to myself twice. Trevor’s right, he has been good to me… at least up until this point. I should at least try to accommodate his needs… I suppose. I finished my drink and stretched out on the couch to clear my head. I laid there and wept quietly as I tried to figure out what to do about Trevor. I didn’t want to ruin Christmas with his family, so I figured I should be the bigger person and apologize, even though he was the one in the wrong. I made a mental note to be more careful about not pushing Trevor’s buttons. It wasn’t fair that I had to walk on eggshells around him, but I really didn’t enjoy fighting like this. If I signed the contract maybe he wouldn’t get angry so easily. The idea of signing the agreement was starting to seem more appealing, but for some reason my gut told me it was a bad idea so I decided not to sign it until I had more time to think about it. I never ignore my instincts. I am usually pretty intuitive, but with the stress of the holidays and the tension of having a long-distance relationship I couldn’t think clearly. Why do relationships have to be so complex? I stood up and stretched. I hoped that I had given Trevor enough time to cool off. I was ready to make up, even if only for the sake of making our holiday more bearable.
BWWM: Bad Boy Billionaires Box Set (A Bad Boy BWWM Billionaire Collection) Page 24