“May I help you pick something out?” The store clerk’s voice interrupted my thoughts. I looked up. She was a stunningly beautiful older lady with an air of sophistication.
“Thank you, but I’m oka-” A necklace sitting inside of an open box behind the register caught my eye mid-sentence. “Actually, can I take a closer look at the necklace behind the register? Is that one for sale?”
“I don’t think we’ll be able to sell it. Someone returned it because the diamonds weren’t clear enough, they’re flawed. We inspected it and agreed that it wasn’t good enough to be on our floor. We’re embarrassed that we ever put it out there in the first place. We pride ourselves on being up front with our customers and only providing the best quality jewelry. If you really want to take a look at this necklace, I won’t stop you, but I want to be upfront with you about the quality so there won’t be any surprises later.” She handed me the box.
As soon as I took it into my hands it felt like mine. It was a white gold chain with a treble clef shaped symbol made of small diamonds. It looked perfect to me. I loved music, which is probably why the necklace resonated with me so much. I found it interesting that others found the diamonds to be imperfect when I perceived this as the most perfect piece in the entire store. The necklace reminded me of myself, and it also reminded me of Christoff, because its beauty was stunning yet reserved. Music was what brought Christoff and me together, and the treble clef was one of the most universal symbols for music. This necklace was perfect. I had to have it.
“This is it,” I whispered to myself. “Oh my God, I’m in love.” I gushed to the store clerk. I turned over my shoulder and called for Christoff. He was standing just a few feet behind me with a beaming grin on his face.
“Gia, baby, the look on your face makes me feel like the most amazing man in the world. I love seeing you so happy.” He embraced me from behind and kissed me on the cheek. I savored his touch. I felt euphoric.
“This is the one.”
“If you like it that much then I will make sure you have it. Consider it yours.” Christoff carefully took the necklace out of the box and put it around my neck. I pulled my hair up and allowed him to fasten the clasp. My heart was racing with excitement and I felt tears of joy start to well in my eyes. “I know how considerate you are, Gia. I don’t want you to have any guilt or concern about the price so I’m going to ask you to step outside for a few moments while I take care of this.”
“Thank you so much for your generosity, Christoff. I really appreciate all you do for me. Thank you!” I gave him a big hug and kissed him on the lips before turning to the store clerk. “Thank you so much for allowing me to look at the necklace even though it wasn’t on the floor. It’s the perfect piece for me.”
The store clerk was smiling. It looked like she had tears in her eyes.
“I’m glad you like it sweetheart. I hope you enjoy it for a long time to come. It looks beautiful on you.”
“Thank you!” I gushed. “Christoff, I’ll be outside like you asked.”
“Okay, I’ll be out in a few. That necklace does look great on you, but I shouldn’t be surprised. Everything looks great on you.”
“Aww stop it!” I giggled before walking out into the fresh air and warm sunshine. I was so elated. I allowed the warmth of the sun to wash over me as I basked in my love for Christoff. He always knew how to make my day. Agreeing to move toL.A. with him had to be one of the best decisions of my life. I took in a deep breath as I allowed myself to be filled with gratitude. I wondered how I got so lucky.
Sometimes I felt like I didn’t deserve the wonderful life that Christoff provided for me. I was just a lowly entertainment journalist. How could I have caught and kept the attention of a super sexy international rockstar? I thought to myself. Even some of the most beautiful and impressive women in the entertainment industry couldn’t hold his attention so I knew there was no way I could. My mood started to dampen as I allowed my mind to go off on a tangent. I started to feel like there was no way that Christoff and I could last forever. I felt sick inside as I realized that one day the fairy tale would be over. They always say if it seems too good to be true it is. Never had I dreamed that I would be dating and living with my celebrity crush one day. Those types of things aren’t supposed to happen in real life. I had dated men in the industry before, but, other than Trevor, I had never been with anyone on Christoff’s level and never this intensely or for this duration of time. I wondered if Christoff took things between us as seriously as I did. I felt like he was the man I wanted to marry one day, but I didn’t know if he felt the same about me.
Clearly, I was bothered by his comment about not being allowed to pick out an engagement ring. I don’t know why the comment hurt my feelings so much, but it did. Although there was pretty good communication between Christoff and me, I didn’t feel comfortable bringing up the issue for discussion because I didn’t want him to think I was in a hurry to get married. I was afraid if I seemed over eager or desperate for a more serious commitment, it may scare him off. I decided to keep quiet about being upset by his comment, and instead I would try to be grateful for the good time we were having. I tried to let it go, but my stomach still felt sour over it.
“Alright Gia, the new necklace is officially and legally yours now!” The sound of Christoff’s voice startled me out of my thoughts. I whipped my head around to see him smiling with open arms. I jumped into his embrace. His touch warmed my heart.
“Thank you! I’m so happy.” We held on to each other for a long time. It felt good. I pulled away and traced the necklace with my fingertips. “I know it sounds silly because it’s just jewelry but this necklace already feels like an extension of me. I think I like it so much because I kind of see it as a symbol of our love for music, as well as our love for each other.” I felt my lips turn into an embarrassed smile. “Wait, does that sound corny?”
“No, I love it. It’s actually really deep. I love your intricate mind, Gia. I’m so happy I was able to give you a gift that has so much meaning for you. It makes me feel good.” Christoff grabbed my hand and led me down the walkway. “Now let’s get home so I can make you feel good. I’ve been hungry for you all day. I’m going to devour you.” Christoff leaned in and nibbled my ear lobe. It turned me on so much it gave me chills.
“You’re so bad, Christoff. I love it though.” I giggled and squeezed his hand.
We walked in silence as we headed toward the car. There were a group of girls who looked to be college-aged walking towards us in the opposite direction. I could tell they were daughters of rich Daddies. There were four of them, so they were taking up the whole side walk. A tall gorgeous, scantily clad red head looked like the leader of the pack. She was wearing a black corset that her full breasts seemed to be overflowing out of and she had on micro shorts fish nets and knee boots. Her fair skin was clear and perfect, and her red locks were long thick and glossy. She was stunning, and I could tell she knew it. She was walking slightly in front of her friends and talking loudly and making big dramatic gestures. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she was an actress. Even though we weren’t very close to them yet, I noticed her. I felt her staring at me and Christoff while she was talking, and it made me uncomfortable. When they were just a few feet in front of us, she lunged toward us and blocked our path.
“Oh my gawd! It’s Christoff Diemacht Hartmann!” She screamed obnoxiously as she jumped into Christoff’s arms, nearly knocking me over in the process. Her friends gathered around us. “I love your music Christoff, and I must say you’re even hotter in person than in pictures. You’re so sexy! I love you!” She continued to squeeze him. Her affection for him made me queasy. She was hanging all over him. She didn’t even care that I was standing right there. “Oh my gawd! I have to get a picture with you. Kelsey, take a picture on my phone.” She dug in her bag and thrust her phone toward a petite blonde.
“I’ll take a few.” Kelsey smiled. “I can’t believe we’re meeting Christoff Diemacht Ha
rtmann.” Kelsey jumped up and down.
“He’s mine, Kelsey, remember that.” The red head glared at Kelsey. “Don’t worry though, you can have Johannes.” The redhead smiled and flipped her hair over her shoulder as she put her arm around Christoff and pressed her cheek against his.
“You’re lucky that I love you, Bitch.” Kelsey quipped before she held up the phone and snapped a picture. Christoff smiled. I hated it. He and the redhead looked like the perfect happy Hollywood couple. It made me sick. That girl looked like a star, she was all over my man, and he wasn’t stopping her.
“Take a few more. I want to make sure they look good for Instagram.” The redhead kept her other arm around Christoff and placed her other hand on his chest. She had to be a model; she really knew how to pose. I just stood there trying to keep my composure while her friends watched her impromptu photo shoot with my boyfriend in awe and wonder.
“One more.” She smiled and slid her hand from his chest down his stomach to his crotch and squeezed, as she simultaneously kissed him on the cheek. The flash went off and her friends all squealed and gushed loudly. I couldn’t believe what I had just seen. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. “Thank you Christoff, I love you.” She kissed him on the cheek again and her red lipstick left an imprint of her lips on his face. She ran over to her friends who all hugged and high-fived her.
“Bye Christoff.” The group of girls sang as they walked pass us. The redhead blew a kiss. I was so angry that I didn’t know what to say. I just stared at Christoff for a few seconds. My heart sank. He was wearing very form-fitting jeans, and I swear I saw a bulge near his thigh. I walked up reached between his legs and grabbed him before he could follow my line of vision.
“What the fuck Christoff? You let that girl give you a hard on. I can’t believe this!” I turned my back to him and folded my arms. I was shaking. I couldn’t breathe. It felt like I was being smothered by the force of my own wrath. “You asshole! I can’t believe you just let that happen right in front of me.”
Christoff walked around me so that I was facing him. “Gia, I know you’re upset right now, but you don’t have to swear at me and call me names. That is completely out of line.”
“I’m out of line? You letting some random girl hang all over you and grope you is what’s ‘out of line.’ ” I was starting to raise my voice. “That was really shitty of you.”
“Gia, first of all it happened so fast that I couldn’t stop it. I didn’t know she was going to grab me like that. She’s a fan. I didn’t want to make a scene or be rude to her. If it ended up in the press that I was a jerk to a group of nice girls, it wouldn’t be good for my reputation. Even though I don’t like the attention, I have to be approachable. You’re a journalist, you know that.”
“Are you serious, Christoff? You’re worried about what it would do to your reputation if you were a jerk to a group of strangers, but you don’t give a shit about what being a total dick to your girlfriend would do to your relationship. I can’t believe you.”
“Baby, I understand why you’re upset. I know it looks bad, but these things are going to happen when you’re dating someone who’s in the public eye. What if I were an actor? I would have to do love scenes with other women. Would you get upset every time I did a movie?”
“Christoff, you’re not an actor, and this is not a movie. You’re a musician, and this is real life, and your behavior was disrespectful and hurtful. You allowed another woman to be all over you and you enjoyed it so much that you were actually turned on by it while I was standing right there. That’s really messed up.”
“Gia, just because my body reacted doesn’t mean I’m into that woman. It was a purely biological response that I can’t help. I’m a very tactile person. When someone touches me, I react, whether I’m into them or not. That’s just how my body is. As for her being all over me, I was just allowing her to get her picture. It didn’t mean anything to me. I’ve taken hundreds of pictures like that with women before we met. I can’t stop being a celebrity just because it makes you uncomfortable.”
I just stared at him. I was so upset my stomach was in knots. He grabbed my shoulder and looked into my eyes. Even when I was furious, his deep blue eyes were so captivating to me.
“Look, that came out kind of harsh. I admit that. Gia, baby, I am so sorry I hurt your feelings. That was not my intention. I really should have been more aware of how the situation would make you feel. I can’t undo what just happened, and, because of my line of work, I can’t even promise you it won’t happen again, but I can promise this; I don’t care how many beautiful women throw themselves at me. You must know that I’m always going home with you. You’re my baby, you’re my love –and no one else. I don’t want you to ever forget that. If you ever feel angry at me or threatened by another woman, I want you to talk to me like we’re doing now, and I promise you I’ll listen. I can’t stop you from feeling jealous because I can’t control your feelings, but I’m hoping that no matter what happens, even in our worst moments, that necklace you’re wearing will remind you that I’m yours and only yours. Will you forgive me Gia?” He opened his arms and reached out to embrace me.
I unfolded my arms and allowed my fingers to toy with my new necklace. I still wasn’t happy with Christoff’s behavior, but I appreciated the depth and sincerity of his apology. I wasn’t sure if I was cut out to date a rockstar. The sick feeling in my stomach reminded me of how I felt when Christoff took Bianca Hathaway to the awards show instead of me. That memory reminded me of how I felt when I saw the way he looked at Arianna Turlington when she came to visit him at the hospital while I was there. Even though I knew Christoff was sorry, I couldn’t shake off the troubling feeling that one day he might run off with one or more of the beautiful women chasing after him. Everyone knew Christoff Diemacht Hartmann was a womanizer. I even knew that before I met him. Even in my most insecure moments, deep inside I knew that I was an amazing woman, but, even so, I didn’t know if I had what it took to tame a man like Christoff. I was starting to feel it was rather naïve of me to think that Christoff and I could live happily ever after when he had a long history of having a wandering eye, in addition to the fact that he was served up with so much temptation on a daily basis.
I was torn inside. He was always so good to me, and he treated me so well. Being with him and spending time with him made me happier than I’d ever been in my life. I’d never felt a joy from anything that was greater than what I felt holding Christoff’s hand or hearing the sound of his voice. I’d never made love so passionately than when I was with Christoff. Our relationship was great. He was truly the man of my dreams, but the nagging feeling that he didn’t belong exclusively to me and the sneaking suspicion that he may leave me or play around behind my back was eating me alive. I was so flustered that I didn’t know what to do. I just wanted to be held. I knew Christoff was a good guy or else I wouldn’t be with him but I feared that the pressures and temptations of showbiz was enough to turn even the best guy into a heart breaking bad boy. I just wanted things to go back to how they were earlier in the day when we were laughing and joking, and we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. I just wanted to feel close to him again both physically and emotionally. I took a deep breath and allowed him to pull me into his embrace. Tears rolled down my cheeks as we held each other.
“I’m still hurt Christoff ,but I’m ready to let the issue go for now. I guess I’m just scared that you’re going to leave me or something. I don’t know. Seeing you interact with other girls like that just really rattles me, but I know it’s part of your job so I forgive you.”
“Thank you for being so open and forgiving, Gia. I love you so much. You’re an outstanding woman. I’m not going anywhere sweetie. You make me so happy. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself without you. I hate to see you so unhappy. It really upsets me. I feel like a terrible person for making you cry. What can I do to make you smile again?” He released me from his embrace and looked into my eyes.
“I don’t know, Christoff. I just need time to adjust to dating an irresistible rockstar. I smiled through my tears.
“Well you’ll have plenty of time. I don’t plan on letting you go anytime soon. Let’s get home. I want to get naked and hold you.”
A hearty laugh escaped me. Christoff’s bluntness amused me. I adored him. I laughed so hard that my tears of grief turned to tears of joy. I smiled as I realized how quickly I could go from angry and hysterical, to laughing uncontrollably to crying tears of joy. It all just depended on what I decided to focus on. I made a firm decision that for the rest of the day I was going to focus on how good Christoff was to me and how much we loved each other. Those thoughts felt so much better than letting my brain run amuck with fear and insecurity. Yes, trust felt so much better than fear, and love better than anger. In that moment, I decided to feel good. I wiped my tears away and squeezed Christoff’s hand. “I love you Christoff.”
“I love you too, Gia”
Chapter 6
After the incident on Rodeo, I started to become slightly jealous and possessive. Deep inside, I trusted Christoff, but I was still getting used to dating such a sought after rockstar. For a week, I kept having recurring nightmares that Regina George from Mean Girls, Christoff’s ex-girlfriend Bianca and the red head from Rodeo were all teasing me, telling me I wasn’t good enough for Christoff. In each of the nightmares, one of them made out with him in front of me. I always woke up sick with jealousy. This morning was no different.
Christoff was downstairs in our gym working out, and I was in bed soothing myself after yet another nightmare. I grabbed my phone and checked Facebook to busy my mind. I scrolled through for a good ten minutes and clicked like on a few of my friends’ cute baby pictures. I was mindlessly scrolling away when a picture knocked the wind out of me. Bianca had posted a picture of herself with Christoff from Instagram. She was kissing him on the cheek. They looked so happy. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. The caption said “With the hottest guy in show biz.” I wanted to throw up. I was so sick with jealousy that my eyes stung. I flung the sheets off of me and marched down stairs to our basement. Christoff was on the weight bench with the barbell in the air.
BWWM: Bad Boy Billionaires Box Set (A Bad Boy BWWM Billionaire Collection) Page 46