by S. Nelson
Still nothing. Her chest was barely moving and for a second, I thought she’d fallen back asleep, right in the middle of her paranoia.
“How?” she asked, her eyes finally opening and focusing on my face.
I didn’t hesitate. I had no regrets about taking his life. None whatsoever. I’d do it again in a heartbeat if it meant she would be safe.
“I killed him.”
The gasp which fell from her lips broke my heart. She seemed conflicted, not sure what she should feel. She had to be relieved he was no longer a threat, but I think she was also concerned for me, for what I’d done.
Tears instantly streamed down her face, followed quickly by uncontrollable sobs.
Running my fingers over her cheeks and trying to catch her tears, I tried my best to soothe her. “Please, don’t cry, Sara. It’s over. It’s done.” My voice was as calm as I could manage, and I think my composed tone was what finally settled her.
“Talk to me, baby. Why are you crying? You’re safe now. He will never threaten you again.”
She finally spoke, a breath of relief rushing out of me.
“I’m relieved he’s no longer here, Alek, but the fact you were the one to end his life is what I’m upset about.” I was going to interject, but she instructed me to let her finish with a simple glance. “I never wanted you to be the one who would have to live with the regret of taking his life. It should have been me. I should have put a stop to this…to him.” Her look was pitiful and I almost chastised her, demanding she stop blaming herself and allow me to carry the burden. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
“Stop it right now. I don’t ever want you to be upset about what I did. I chose to end him, Sara, and I would do it again in a heartbeat, over and over if I had to. He threatened your life for the last time. I did what had to be done. Plus, I couldn’t live with myself if you’d been the one to pull the trigger, because I would never want you to bear that burden.”
Our eyes locked. It was as good a time as any to fill in whatever blanks she had about what happened. So I dove right in, telling her all the horrible details, making sure to express how upset I was with her for putting her life in danger, to which she simply smiled and stroked my cheek. When she questioned how Samuel had even found her, I hung my head in regret. He was able to locate her whereabouts because of my carelessness. I’d been selfish. I’d been the one to drag her out to the charity event. At the time, Samuel had been securely locked up but I still should have known better. I hadn’t given it a second thought when the paparazzi snapped photos of the two of us. Not protecting her identity had been one of my biggest mistakes.
A little while later, after all questions had been answered, she decided she needed the pain meds after all. It didn’t take long before she was drifting off into what I hoped was a peaceful sleep.
~8~
Sara
My stay in the hospital lasted for a total of eight days. Initially, I was healing rather well but on the fourth day, I developed a pretty nasty infection in my wound. Luckily, it was able to be flushed with a heavy concoction of antibiotics, taking until day six to feel somewhat normal again.
Thankfully, I was given the all-clear to go home two days later and boy, was I ready.
I was so sick of lying in that uncomfortable bed. I was tired of people having to go out of their way to come see me, the only purpose being to check in and see how I was coping. Alek stayed with me the entire time, only leaving to attend meetings he simply couldn’t cancel. I argued with him to go home and rest, but he wasn’t listening to me. He would placate my demands with a simple nod. Then when I fell asleep, he pulled the cot the nurse had brought in for him close to my bed, holding my hand until he drifted off.
Alexa and Matt had come by many times to say hello and check on me. I appreciated their concern, but I wanted everyone to stop fussing already. I was going to be fine. I’d survived worse.
Or was that the worst of it?
The weeks after my hospital stay were a blur, my time eaten up with physical therapy appointments four times a week. The thing which frustrated me the most was there didn’t seem to be an end in sight.
Trent, the therapist assigned to me, informed me it could take up to six months before my arm was back to normal. He was optimistic I would have full range of motion, but only if I was faithful in keeping up with all of my set appointments. Otherwise, I could suffer slight immobility. There was no way I was going to let that happen, though. Wanting all traces of what had happened to be gone, I grunted through each session.
But no amount of therapy would erase the scars which were left behind.
Both physical and emotional.
Alek was extremely tolerant the entire time, which I really appreciated because there were times when I wasn’t the best patient. He drove me to and from my appointments, insisting he stay the entire hour.
I knew some of his reason was due to the fact my therapist was a man, who was also easy on the eyes. Alek’s whole body would tense up when Trent had to touch me, but it was his job. He had to ensure I was properly stretching and completing all of the rotation exercises.
Each time his hand made contact with my shoulder, or any other part of my anatomy, I would glance over at Alek and watch as his chest expanded, his hands balling into tight fists as he stared at us. Once he caught my eye, he would give me a tight smile, silently telling me he was working on his jealousy issues.
One time, when he thought Trent was too touchy, he approached him and threatened physical violence. I apologized and had to take Alek into the back of the room to chastise him.
“You have to stop this. Now. He’s not being inappropriate with me at all and you standing there, brooding the whole time, is not helping me. And it’s not helping Trent do his job properly. Don’t you want me to get better?” I was beyond irritated with him, with my recovery…with everything.
“Of course I do!” he hollered, his own frustrations barreling off him.
“Then stop acting like a jealous teenager,” I chastised.
“Then tell him to stop groping you.” He stood his ground and waited for me to back down. Well, it wasn’t going to happen.
“If you don’t knock it off, Alek, you’re going to have to leave.” When my threat did nothing to dissuade him, I decided to try a different approach. Moving closer, I placed my hand on his cheek. He leaned into my touch and for a brief moment, I thought he was going to loosen up. But he remained as stoic as ever. “I’m not attracted to Trent, not in the least. All I’m thinking about the whole time he’s working on me is how I’ll be able to throw my arms around you and hold you tight.” Dropping my hand from his face, I took a step back. “But if that’s not something you would like, then please, keep acting like a jealous fool.”
He showed his surrender to the situation by simply nodding, giving me a quick kiss and retreating to lean against the wall. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets but I could tell he was still clenching his fists, the fabric of his pants bulging with every action.
Alek was acting exactly how I knew he would. It didn’t excuse his behavior, but I understood where his head was at. I knew how I would have felt if the situation was reversed and a beautiful woman had her hands all over him, even if she was acting in a professional manner.
Yeah, I would much rather be on this side of the fence.
~9~
Alek
Sara was recovering quite nicely, although her impatience increased with each passing day. I had to remind her the process was going to take time, but there were days when she didn’t want to hear any of it. So I backed off and gave her my unwavering support.
Frustration was certainly a new emotion for my woman. Well, when I wasn’t the cause for it, at least. When she couldn’t lift something or extend her arm to grab an object from a shelf, she would grunt, grimacing in aggravation. I tried my best to remind her pushing herself too fast wasn’t a smart choice. Some days, she would listen to me and others, well, she ignored me
as if I hadn’t said anything at all.
She couldn’t stand relying on others for help, especially at work, a place where she was really hindered. I never thought I would be so thankful she had Matt there to help her. He’d really stepped up as her friend, and as an employee. He constantly went above and beyond for her, opening up the shop in the early morning hours as well as closing up late whenever she deemed she’d had enough for the day.
After witnessing more interactions between the two of them, I realized the way he looked at Sara was exactly how I’d looked at my sister Mia. A brother to a sister, full of love and adoration, and my favorite emotion of all…protectiveness.
While Sara was struggling with her physical limitations, I was doing my best to go back to the way things were before she was taken from me, but I found it difficult. Samuel’s death was not the issue. While there was an innate feeling deep inside me at the memory of taking another man’s life, it wasn’t guilt or remorse. I thanked God every day I woke up and that bastard wasn’t alive. Never having to worry about her safety where he was concerned was a huge relief. I think the emotion which crept up now and again was…surprise. I’d obviously never been the cause for someone else taking their last breath. But whenever the odd sensation arose, I remembered the crazed look in his eyes as he mumbled, ‘They’ll see I’m better one day. They’ll let me out and I’ll come back for her.’ Once the memory rushed forward, I pushed everything aside and focused on Sara and her recovery.
The real issue which plagued me was ever since I stepped foot into her shop on that beautiful, fateful day, I’d inadvertently put her in danger.
Before she met me, she was safe. I’d made sure she was protected all those years. But since the day I’d made the selfish decision to force my way into her life, she’d had one encounter after another, thankfully none of them fatal.
I knew I had a decision to make, and the thought it was going to ultimately crush us both, ending life as we knew it, made my soul weep at the inevitable.
~~~~
“Hey, hey. What’s the good word, my man?” Kael sang out as soon as I uttered my greeting into the phone.
“Not too much,” I replied, forever thankful my good friend had moved back to Seattle. I’d known Kael since we were young boys. We were inseparable most of our lives, but his job took him to California years before, the only communication between us being a phone call every so often. Luckily, our time apart had been short-lived.
I didn’t normally talk about my feelings, except with Sara, but I knew I needed to bounce some things off Kael. He was the perfect sounding board because I knew he wouldn’t judge me. He might give me advice I didn’t want to hear, or tell me when I was being an ass, but he would listen and hear me out.
“What time did you want to meet up tonight?” I asked, counting down the hours until I could gain someone else’s perspective on my issue. I’d already informed Sara I was going out for a couple of drinks after work. At first, she was only too happy to hear I’d made plans. Admittedly, I was slightly offended she wanted to get rid of me so quickly, but after she explained her reasoning, I wasn’t so pissy. She hated I’d been fawning all over her for the past few weeks, never taking a night for myself. So when she’d heard I was going to be spending some much needed time with Kael, she was thrilled.
“Whatever time you can pry yourself away from work is good for me,” he answered.
“Okay, how about I meet you at seven? At Billson’s?”
“I can pick you up if you want and we can go together,” he offered, a slight twinge of humor to his voice.
“This isn’t a fucking date.” He laughed at my outburst. “I’ll meet you there.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Plus, you’re not my type,” he joked before hanging up the phone.
Still smiling, I dialed Sara’s number. I’d bought her a new phone due to her other one being destroyed. Soon after she’d become lucid in the hospital, she asked me how I’d ever found her and I had to tell the truth. It was because of the tracker I’d put in her phone after I learned of Samuel’s release. She never argued with me, a small smile appearing on her lovely face before she drifted off to sleep. This time around, I made sure to ask her if it was all right if a device was installed on her new phone. Without hesitation she agreed; the added comfort of me being able to find her if she ever needed me was what made her comply.
“Hi, honey,” she answered on the second ring. I could tell from the rushed tone of her voice she was busy but wanted to at least talk for a few minutes. It drove me nuts when she didn’t answer her phone and instead of us arguing over it, she did a great job of placating me. I would have thought after eliminating the one real threat in her life I would have calmed down, but if anything I became even more protective. I couldn’t understand it myself, so trying to explain it to Sara was near impossible.
“Hey, babe. How’s your day going?”
“Good. Busy, but good. I really need to hire someone to help out around here. Matt and I are struggling these days. We have a couple of part-timers to help with deliveries, but it’s not enough.” Blowing out a frustrated breath, she continued with, “Thankfully, business is booming, but we’re a little stressed. Plus, not having the full use of my arm yet is hampering me even more.” I heard her call out to Matt about an order before she came back on the phone. “Sorry, Alek, but I can’t talk now. Can I give you a call later on?”
“Sure thing. But remember I’m meeting up with Kael for a couple of drinks, so how about I swing by your place afterwards?”
“Sounds great to me. And Alek?”
“Yeah.”
“Please have fun. You worry too much.”
“I’ll try. For you, I’ll try.”
After our conversation ended, I saved and closed the two spreadsheets I had open, grabbed my keys and headed out to meet Kael.
Arriving before him, I grabbed a private booth far from the rest of the patrons. Billson’s was a really nice, casual yet elegant establishment. It had private sitting areas, as well as high-back tables and chairs. I’d been there before for business meetings and really enjoyed the food, the service always being on point. Plus, the atmosphere was calming, which was a plus since I was a bit on edge.
Lost in my own head, I almost missed Kael as he entered. I waved him over once I caught his attention.
“Have you been here long?” he asked as he took his seat at the other end of the small couch, throwing his keys on the table. Before I could give him an answer, he cut me off. “Sorry I’m late, but Adara and I sort of had a fight before, so…” He trailed off, obviously not wanting to finish his statement.
“Is everything okay? Is it serious?”
“It’ll be fine. And yes, I think it’s serious, but she doesn’t. But then again, what’s new, right?” He looked around for a waitress, anxious to place his order. Thankfully, he didn’t have to wait long.
Once the waitress was close enough to see us, she blanched. We knew the sort of reaction we obtained from women when we were by ourselves, but when we were together, it was almost too much. We knew we were blessed with good looks, but we never flaunted it. Well, not since the day our women had stolen our hearts, anyway.
After she’d composed herself enough to take our order, she left us alone to talk.
Needing more time to figure out what I wanted to say to him about my issue, I asked, “Do you want to talk about it?” I knew what it was like to have my woman twist me up so badly I didn’t know which way was up. He definitely had my sympathy.
“Thanks, but no thanks. I don’t want to think about it anymore tonight. All I want to do is drink and hang out.”
“Sounds good to me.”
It took two hours after we’d arrived before I was comfortable enough to bring up what was plaguing me, the multiple bourbons aiding the situation.
“So…” I started, indicating there was something important I wanted to talk about. And it worked, turning Kael’s attention on me.
&n
bsp; “What’s up?”
“Well, you know everything that went down with Sara recently.”
“Yeah…” he answered, his curiosity piqued.
“I’ve been feeling a certain way about it. About her. I mean, I love her and everything; that hasn’t changed. Actually, I love her more each day, but I just…I don’t know.” I didn’t know the best way to verbalize whatever it was I was thinking.
I was confused, plain and simple.
“If you love her, then what’s the problem? Is it because you ended up killing Samuel? Because you could speak to someone to try and work through it.”
“No, that’s not it at all.” My face scrunched in instant aggravation. I hated the mere sound of his name.
“Then what is, because you’re losing me here, man.” He was certainly confused. I was rambling, not really focusing on any one point.
The waitress came over asking if we wanted refills. I admittedly answered yes while Kael declined. I hadn’t started off wanting to drown my sorrows in alcohol, but it was where the night was leading. I knew I was going to need to call my car service soon. There was no way I was going to drive to Sara’s intoxicated. She would kill me. If she ever drove drunk, or even tipsy, I would be so angry with her I would never let her forget it.
Against my protests, Sara had stopped living with me after she came home from the hospital. She said she didn’t want to rush anything, arguing our relationship was still being tested and she didn’t want to jeopardize the progress we’d made so far. I knew the imminent threat was abolished so I didn’t really have a leg to stand on. I gave in, for the time being.
“I don’t really know. Well, I kind of know, sort of.” I took another sip of my drink, letting the ice cubes crash to the bottom of the glass before putting it back on the table. Finding Kael’s confused expression, I continued on in my senseless ramble. “You know I’ve been watching Sara for close to a decade now, always trying to keep her safe. Well, it seems like ever since I barged into her life, up close and personal, I’ve been failing to protect her. Things have happened to her which wouldn’t have had I kept to the original plan, which was me off in the shadows, shielding her from afar.”