He couldn’t have.
“Take this memory, then,” she said fiercely. “I love you. I will always love you.”
She gave him this? Throat closed with emotion, he couldn’t speak. He couldn’t even sing.
With her love, he would endure anything.
“Don’t cry. I’ll start bawling again.” Her face softening, she gently wiped his cheeks. “Now, tell me—what happened? Why does my resonance matter?”
Already the detective again, with a mystery to solve. And no doubt trying to figure out how to fix this.
He hoped that she could. She saw differently than he did. Perhaps she would spot a detail that he’d been blinded to.
“It happened when we were separated in Hell. I didn’t let you go. So the spear ripped every trace of you out, even though that part of my psychic song was my own.”
Andromeda stiffened against him. “The spear? Khavi did this?”
“I did. She believed it would work. It should have.”
“Because she knew your nature?”
“Yes. And my nature was to let go of anything that made me vulnerable. But she was gone for two thousand years.”
“And you changed,” she said, her gaze sharpening with memory, and he could almost hear the echo of all their conversations beneath that statement.
“I changed,” he said. “I made friends and I loved them—and that meant I had vulnerabilities.”
“But you were no longer so quick to destroy them.”
“Yes.”
For a moment, she pinched her soft bottom lip between her teeth. “Do you regret that now?”
“No.” He couldn’t be sorry. “Without those friends, my life would have been nothing. My only regret is that I was not with you for longer—and that this hurts you now.”
And if he hadn’t changed, could he have loved like this? Could Andromeda have loved him? If his life was the price he’d pay for becoming the man who could love her, then the cost was worth it. But nothing was worth the pain he caused her.
Her fingers tightened on his shoulders. “If ripping you out of my head did this, then I want you back. Link to me again.”
He wished it could be so simple. “You would have to carry my body in your cache, and we would have to find an anchor for my soul. But the frozen field is gone. Only Lucifer can rebuild it—or whoever will take the throne after he is slain.”
“Not Belial.”
Not any longer. Michael had impaled Irena’s spear through the demon’s heart. Khavi had taken his head.
“Is there another way to anchor you?”
“No. There is flesh, or a realm.”
“A realm?” Her eyes brightened. “Can we anchor you to Caelum?”
Beneath him, the marble pavers gave an answering push. Caelum, fully in tune with Andromeda.
“I would,” he said quietly. “But we have no way to do it.”
Anaria might have known how. If Khavi knew, she would have already told him.
Michael would ask her to try after their battle with Lucifer. He wouldn’t have a body, but he would be here . . . maybe. He couldn’t know that it would be any different from Chaos.
A deep sigh lifted through her chest. Her soft gaze holding his, she gently stroked his cheeks. “Earlier, I wanted to be so angry with you. Why didn’t you tell me? How did you never see what I felt? I just don’t even care about why and how anymore. I just want you here.”
That was all that he wanted, too. But there was more that they needed to do.
“We need to return. To prepare,” he said.
She nodded. But her gaze fell to his lips, and she whispered thickly, “A day or two will never be enough,” before kissing him again.
And it wouldn’t be.
CHAPTER 22
They teleported directly to the conference room at the new headquarters, where Irena, Jake, and Rosalia were apparently talking strategy. Irena broke off when she saw Taylor, striding over to pull her into a fierce hug.
“I’m glad you are well,” she said, her Slavic accent thick. “I did not know hellhounds could dig.”
“I’m okay. Khavi got you and Alice out of there?” Taylor already knew that Khavi had, though no one had said as much. But Michael would never have left them there, and Khavi had been their obvious way out.
And she really wanted to change the subject away from being kidnapped by a hellhound.
“She did.” Irena stepped back, looked to Michael. “Colin and Savi are at the mirrors.”
A room full of them, covering every surface. When their shields were open, Colin and Savi could see into the Chaos realm as easily as if they were there—though nobody in their right mind would have wanted to be. Especially Colin. He’d been trapped in that realm once, torn apart by wyrmwolves. Michael had barely been able to put him back together.
“Have they found Lucifer?” Michael asked as they left the conference room.
Irena nodded. “Though there is little to report. Except that Lucifer has killed a dragon.”
Michael’s jaw tightened. Not out of sympathy for the dragon, Taylor knew.
“Did he make a weapon?” she asked.
“Yes.”
One as powerful and as indestructible as Michael’s own sword—which he had in his possession again, she realized. He’d slain Cerberus with it.
She followed Irena and Jake into the mirrored room. At the old headquarters, they’d observed the inside of the room through a one-way mirror. Now they stepped inside, and the infinite reflections made Taylor pause and orient herself.
Both Colin and Savi were watching a spot on the floor, but when they entered the room, Savi glanced over. Her gaze brightened and softened, all at once.
“Andy.” The vampire met her at the door and wrapped her in a tight hug. “I’m so sorry.”
Joe. Grief hit Taylor again all at once, blocking her throat.
Holding her hands, Savi drew back, her teary gaze searching Taylor’s face. “I don’t know what to say. We loved him, too.”
That was the best thing to say. Joe had been loved. So much that it seemed impossible now that he was gone—and still unreal, as if it would just go away. But it wouldn’t.
Knowing that if she said a word she’d start sobbing again, Taylor only nodded.
Studying her, Savi frowned a little. “Is there something else?”
“Yes.” She managed that, a rough whisper. “But I can’t deal with it yet.”
Michael was dying. She’d never be able to deal with it.
“All right.” Savi squeezed her hands. “When you can, I’m here.”
Taylor nodded again.
Savi drew a shaky breath. “How’s your mom?”
Hurting. “Not so good, either. She lost my dad the same way.”
“I know. Colin and I will go see her as soon as we can. Do you think she’ll still want the transformation?”
To become a vampire. To gain immortality. Taylor had to close her eyes. “No. Not without . . .”
Not without Joe.
When she opened her eyes again, Savi was nodding. “It’s hard without having someone.” She hesitated for an instant. “Did anyone tell you about Katherine?”
Oh, no. “Did you find her?”
“Yes. But not— She’s alive.” Shaking her head, a little laugh escaped her. No humor. It was the sound Savi made when she didn’t know whether to think something was good or bad. “She’s a vampire. She was turned. That’s why Geoff lost his connection. But she doesn’t really have anyone, either, and of course the bloodlust makes her . . . Oh god, I’m sorry. She’s alive, and you must be thinking that I’m such a bitch for telling you this now, and complaining about bloodlust, when Joe is—”
“No.” Taylor stopped her. “She’s alive, and it’s good to have good news. Finally.” Though it probably wouldn’t last. “So how is Chaos?”
“Oh, fun.” Savi turned and linked her arm through Taylor’s. “Rivers of lava, wyrmwolves tearing each other to pieces, dragon
s everywhere. At least there isn’t any screaming, now that the frozen field is gone.”
His skin still vampire-pale instead of tanned, Colin glanced up. “There are screams, now and again. But they are from the demons when a dragon eats them.”
“I suppose it’s too much to hope that the dragons will eat Lucifer, too,” Taylor said.
A faint smile touched Michael’s mouth. He apparently liked imagining that, as well.
“So.” Jake looked from Michael to Irena. “Are we taking a team to Chaos? Try to head off Lucifer before he opens the portal on that side?”
“No,” Irena said. “Lucifer is too powerful. And we have the advantage of position here.”
“We can’t drop a nuclear bomb on them?” Taylor wondered aloud. “You did it before in Chaos with Anaria and her nephilim. And Jake did it in Hell.”
“And we had the advantage of position there, too,” Irena pointed out. “The nephilim didn’t know we were in the mountain with them, and they couldn’t have reached the weapon in time to disarm it. The same was true in Hell.”
Michael nodded his agreement. “If we leave a bomb close enough to Lucifer to hurt him, that is close enough for him to notice and to intercept it—and to use it against us.”
Taylor couldn’t hide her dismay. She didn’t want to go to Chaos, but it sounded better than Lucifer coming to Earth. “So we wait for him to come through?”
“I know it sounds crazy,” Jake said. “But I have to agree—we’ll be better off.”
God. “Can you just grab him and teleport him back to Hell? He’d burn through more power if he wanted to break through to Chaos again.”
Jake looked to Michael, his brows raised in question. Michael shook his head.
“We can’t teleport with him.”
Damn it. But she wasn’t really surprised. They couldn’t teleport dragons, either—and there were symbols and spells that could prevent someone from being taken. One way or another, Lucifer would make certain he couldn’t be so easily defeated.
“So we just have to beat him when he comes through.”
“Yes,” Michael said.
Well, that was that, then. “All right. How?”
Jake grinned. “I have a few ideas.”
* * *
They had to abandon the conference room and hold the meeting in the main offices, with the desks and furniture cleared away. Taylor had never seen so many Guardians gathered in one place before, or so many people hugging the walls. She knew them all—though some of them, she’d only met once or twice. After Michael had linked himself to her mind and she’d become the Doyen, she’d visited each one. Some loners who rarely came to Caelum or headquarters, some tight with their small groups of Guardian friends.
Now greetings were being exchanged everywhere. Michael spoke to each one, and now that she knew what to look for, she saw the subtle good-byes he gave to many.
And everyone knew that Anaria was dead—though few knew what to say to him. No one but Khavi and Michael had fought at her side or known her when she was a Guardian. To almost every other Guardian, Anaria was just the woman responsible for the deaths of their friends. Some expressed regret and sympathy. Some were relieved.
With a heavy heart, Taylor watched him move around the room, nodding when they said it must be a great burden lifted from his shoulders. Nodding when they said they were sorry.
Finally, he returned to her side and entwined his fingers through hers. Unable to bear dying. Unable to let go.
Her throat ached. This hurt so much. To have this love, unlike anything she’d dreamed. She couldn’t lose him, too.
In the center of the room, Irena projected the image of the warehouse surrounding the portal into their minds—then made a steel replica on the floor.
Jake joined Irena. Taylor didn’t wonder anymore that Michael was letting him take the lead in this. She’d heard part of the strategy he’d come up with. He’d gone to Michael, Khavi, Irena, and Rosalia for their input, but the rest was his own.
She didn’t know if he was crazy or brilliant. Maybe both.
Joe would probably say brilliant. But then, he and Jake had a lot in common.
A hole opened in her chest. Michael glanced down when her fingers tightened on his.
“Sorry,” she said softly. “I just realized . . . Jake is the same age as he was.”
And Joe should have been here. For a few seconds, she would forget that he was gone. Then remembering crushed her all over again.
God. When Michael was gone, she didn’t know how she’d survive. One giant hole where her heart had been. One hurt on top of the other. She’d be crushed beyond recognition.
She just couldn’t deal with it now.
Irena’s mind pressed against hers and an image slid easily through. An aerial view of San Francisco, swooping down to the east side where the warehouse stood in the naval shipyards. “Colin and Savi are currently monitoring the mirrors. We will know when Lucifer creates the spell to come through—and he will come through at this location.”
Dismay swept through the assembled Guardians. “That’s right in the city,” Mariko said.
“Not quite.” Jake stepped forward. “Those shipyards are pretty much an abandoned toxic dump, so we’ve got a little room—and we’ll get more. As soon as Lucifer begins the ritual on his side, Icarus will give us a little earthquake. We’ll say there’s a gas leak, evacuate the surrounding area. Bradford’s going to throw his weight behind that, too. Luckily there’s not much residential right there. And right behind us is the bay.”
Worry darkened Icarus’s face. “I’ll create an earthquake, but if it’s hard enough to feel, then it might be hard enough to hurt someone. I’d have to Fall.”
Taylor grimaced. He was right. Even a book falling off a shelf and hitting someone’s head could break the Rules.
She knew Icarus would help, anyway. But she also knew he didn’t want to Fall.
“Not this time,” Michael said. “You will be able to choose punishment instead.” His gaze swept the room. “Any of you. When the dragons and the demons come, if you accidentally hurt a human while trying to save them, I’ll give you that option.”
“All right. That’s good to know as we’re figuring out how hard we can push.” Jake scratched the back of his head. “So will you be giving us an ‘it hurts me more than it hurts you’ type of punishment?”
“No.” Michael’s eyes darkened. “Whatever harm is done to a human, I will return it sevenfold. If you bruise their leg, I will crush yours.”
“Fair enough. But why sevenfold? Is that a significant number?”
“Only because it sounds appropriately dire,” Michael said.
So dry. Taylor grinned.
“So we’ll get people away from there,” Drifter said, studying the steel building near Irena’s leg. “But that won’t matter if we can’t keep the wyrmwolves and dragons contained—and those warehouse walls won’t do it.”
“We’re knocking down the warehouse,” Jake said, and Irena’s diorama flattened. “And we’re building retaining walls. We’ll need Icarus for that part of it, too. You’ll bring the ground up behind the portal, as thick and as high as you can. We’ll put that solid wall around them, so when they come through, there’s only one direction for them to go: right toward us.”
A steel wall rose up behind him.
“That’s going to be pretty freaking obvious to anyone in the city who glances east, so we have to conceal that, too.” Jake glanced to the blue-skinned woman beside Icarus. “Radha, that’s your job—but if you have to drop the illusion while you’re fighting, do it. Rosalia can back you up by making it all too dark for humans to see. If it’s daytime, we’ve got to do that anyway for the vampires.”
Deacon shook his head. “If it’s the daytime, using her Gift is going to hurt her—”
Rosalia laid her hand on his arm, stopped him. “I’ll do it.”
“If it’s during the night, you won’t have to.” Jake gave her an apol
ogetic glance. “Sorry, Rosa.”
“It’s all right.”
“Okay.” Jake stepped to the side, looked to the steel wall. “So when they come through, they’ve got two directions to go: up and out. We expect that some demons will be flying through as they breach the realm, and some marching through on the ground. Wyrmwolves will come by foot. Most likely, any dragons will be coming by air. But whether they’re walking or flying, they’re all coming through close to the ground where the portal is. So we’re setting up lines of defense to prevent them from getting much farther than that. And the first defense is going to be a big, super-deep freaking hole in the ground, all the way through the Earth’s crust. Wyrmwolves can’t fly, and if they’re rushing through the portal, they can just stampede into a bunch of lava.”
“Lava?” Icarus looked doubtful. “I can crush them in the hole, instead.”
“Boiling hot lava would be preferable, but crushed will do,” Jake said. “So on the ground and in the air, Alice and I will serve as the first line of defense. And—”
A miniature Alice appeared on the floor in front of the wall. Over her head floated a cherub with tiny wings and Jake’s face. Irena grinned, until electricity sizzled through the metal scene and sparked at her fingertips. She yelped and jumped back, laughing.
Jake kept on going. “I’ll electrocute the demons that fly through. That’ll stun them, and they’ll fall—into the lava, see? It’ll be great.”
“I can crush demons, too,” Icarus said with a grin.
“Whatever, man. And on the ground, Alice will have her spiders.”
“Her spiders?” Taylor shook her head. “Just one is big enough to destroy half the city.”
“Not the mama. We’re bringing in the babies.” Jake grimaced. “And it’s not going to be pretty on the ground, so nobody eat anything before going in.”
A hundred spiders twice the height of Alice’s figure popped into the diorama. Eleven-foot-tall babies. Jesus.
“Alice and I aren’t going to get every demon and wyrmwolf, so we’ll have webs up, too.” Two poles rose in front of the steel wall as he spoke, thin tendrils weaving between them—like a net in front of the portal. “We’ll catch some, especially at first, but after they break through the webs, the second line of defense will be waiting in the air. Those will all be Guardians skilled in combat maneuvers—with a few exceptions that I’ll get to in a bit. Thirty-eight of you, led by Irena and Alejandro, seconded by Drifter and Mariko. We’ll have everyone listed so you know where to go. On the ground, we’ll have another line waiting to slay any wyrmwolves and demons that get past the spiders. Those will be novices with more than ten years of training and nosferatu-born vampires with weapons experience. Also Sir Pup, Hugh, and Lilith.”
Guardian Demon (GUARDIAN SERIES) Page 56