by Rena Marks
A thrill of excitement shot through her at the prospect of walking home horny and swollen.
She brought her arm up around his neck and licked his lower lip.
“Holly, your power feels different.”
No sooner as he spoke than she was yanked from him, her body flung backward at warp speed, until she nearly slammed into the wall behind her. But instead the wall disappeared like a small dot when she was sucked into a circular spot.
Unlike the last time when she’d leaped into a portal, this one felt different. Yes, it was a strong vacuum. But instead of the air pressure condensing around her, it came from the inside out.
All around her, scenes replayed. Back when Ace had first accosted her on Earth. No wait, now it was their wedding. Oh, it was back to when they were shopping for demoness clothing.
Time was flipping back and forth without continuum. Flowing before her eyes, washing through her in waves. Holly had been in the odd bubble of pressure for years now.
No. Now it had just been a few seconds.
Suddenly it was yesterday. Now it was tomorrow.
Panic hit her midsection, flowing through her veins until her fingers and toes tingled. Should she jump out? When would she leap? How would she get back to Ace?
* * * * *
Back on the parody of a Luciefyiore moon, Enishka clapped his hands. “Do you feel it?” he yelled, stamping his foot and squishing another scuttle demon that was foolish enough to run across his path. “We have a bit of power brewing! Yes! A breeding power. And I…have…eggs.”
Lightning struck as he raised both clawed hands to the sky.
“The breeding! The breeding! There we go,” he screamed. “Quickly now, unbury the eggs. They’ve been waiting for quite a while. Take care, for every egg you break, you’ll pay with a testicle.”
The scuttle demons gulped, looking at each other’s groins. They only had two each.
Enishka continued to pace, even as the demons began to frantically dig with bare fingers at the rough, rocky surface of the moon.
“I’m gonna be a daddy,” he sang. “Stupid Natalya. Stupid Keara. Stupid Holly Dolly. None of them ever caught on. I’m an egg stealer. I hid some on earth… Duh, Holly Dolly should have known that, she was one. Keara I made become my wife, she knows why. Food for the children! But Natalya…dumb blonde bitch. She thinks I burned her eggs?” He cackled uproariously. “I transplanted her eggs! Hid them on the moon! Now that we have a breeder called Holly…hee hee hee, I’ll fertilize.”
The scuttle demons looked at each other in alarm. Hurriedly they dug some more, taking bigger gobs of dirt out of the holes.
“I have to change,” Enishka decided suddenly. “The form. What form shall I take? It’s important, that’s the form my sons will see. Hmm, can’t be too scary. Nothing sharp. Soft edges.” Whatever form he took, he was stuck with for quite a while. He’d expended too much power for the temporal fold in time. So it had better be good.
Suddenly it was easy to decide. He was all powerful, all knowing. He’d stolen eggs. Conquered the Prophecies. Tricked Holly into letting loose her magnificent power.
The power was sex-related. Therefore, his form had to be…phallic.
The scuttle demons paused in the digging. It was true. The first tiny egg was exposed, no bigger than the palm of a hand. Oh, but looks were so deceiving. This egg would contain the most hideous creature ever created.
“Now, I need to get their mother here,” Enishka rambled. “The boys…they’ll be hungry.”
Chapter Eleven
Trickery by Sorcery
Natalya was looking into the water of the fountain in her backyard of Luciefyiore. Jere stood a few feet away, feeding the caged Valnaeus root.
“Did Ace tell you that Holly touched Valnaeus?” Jere called out.
Talya smiled, her reflection soft in the water. “No. Poor Holly.”
“Yeah, it’s why I laughed so hard. I’m not laughing at her, mind you. I just remember the confusion so clearly when I first moved here.”
“I imagine it feels like all the time traveling I had to do,” she murmured, “a little disoriented, lots of confusion…” Her voice wavered, her concentration distracted. Her pet Rena had rolled across the water.
Natalya loved watching the woman. She reminded her of the time she spent in Hell, when she was trying so hard to set Jere’s life right. Back when she fell in love with him.
“Baby?”
“Hmm?”
“Tally, you’re distracted again.”
Natalya looked up from the water. “I’m sorry, love. It’s my pet.”
Jere grinned, walking to her. “You’re going to be spying on her a while. I’ll go get you a sandwich.”
“Jere,” Natalya chastised, sealing a kiss onto his lips. “It’s not spying, sweetie. It’s called guarding.”
Her husband laughed. “Whatever! I’ll still bring you a sandwich. You’re going to need your strength. For later.” Taking one finger, he pulled her loose neckline from her cleavage and pressed a kiss on the soft skin there.
He walked away, leaving a drooling demon queen staring at the luscious rear end belonging to her husband.
“Sweetheart,” she called out.
He looked back over his shoulder.
“Make it strawberries and wine.”
Jere winked at her and she blew another kiss before she turned again toward the fountain.
“Okay, pet,” she murmured. “You’d better be good. I’m going to be busy. All night.”
But something wasn’t right with the old fortuneteller. She dizzily wandered from path to path, recklessly bumping into trees.
“What’s she looking for?” Natalya thought aloud. “And what’s wrong with her? She’s acting…insane.”
The old woman was accosted by one of the Earthling crazy people. He was dressed in dirty scrubs. He was showing her how to do something…drawing a pattern in the dirt. Then the schizo wandered off, leaving her pet alone.
But Rena was mumbling, chanting. What had happened to her? Did his insanity rub off on her? Was Enishka at the bottom of this? Had he found out how much she loved the silly Earthling. Was that why he tried to make her one of his?
Suddenly the ground shimmered. Good grief, Rena opened a portal with Natalya’s own magic. The hole was growing beneath her feet, wavering indefinitely.
“Oh, hell, no!” Natalya yelled.
The old woman prepared herself to jump into the portal.
Natalya jumped into the water of the fountain.
It never made a splash.
On the other side, in the Earth dimension, her eyes glowed in anger. Slowly her horns extended. But she was alone.
Her pet was gone, already having gone into the portal. Natalya knew she would have to reach in, grab her and pull her out.
Feet firmly planted on the ground, she pushed her hand through the blurred line of the portal, connecting with the soft arm of the old woman.
But she wouldn’t budge.
Natalya took a deep breath and poked her head into the noisy gate. “Hey,” she yelled over the roar of wind, “you need to come back with me.”
The old woman ignored her, her back toward her as she tried to march forward.
“Hey,” Natalya said again, reaching higher to shake her shoulder. The old woman turned.
Yellow teeth grinned from the mouth of the psycho from earlier, though this time he was dressed in the clothing of her pet.
Before Natalya could think, he yanked her in.
* * * * *
The male servants of the castle also couldn’t find Jere, the Ruler of Luciefyiore. The only clue left behind was the water fountain that his wife loved to watch.
Around it laid broken wineglasses and spilled strawberries on the paved stone.
Jere was long gone at that point.
Now he stood in the Earth realm, in the kitchen of Demitris. He’d gone directly there. To his surprise, Ace was also present, already explaining to Keara
and Caleb about Holly’s abduction.
“He must have grabbed them both. I wonder if he’ll try for you next,” Ace said to Keara.
“I doubt it,” Demitris said. “After all, it was Keara and Natalya together who rearranged his face so he couldn’t focus that laser beam on anyone ever again. I doubt if he wants to get them both in one spot.”
Jere sat at the kitchen counter where the Earth versions of the ancient foretelling books sat. “This can’t be good,” he muttered, flipping a page.
“What?”
“Did you know Holly should have another power? A deadly scream? Apparently it explodes areas of high blood flow, the brain, the heart.”
“Oh, hell. Explodes as in death?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t think I ever mentioned to her that we can’t kill a demon who ranks higher than we do.”
Jere turned toward Caleb. “Will the Council hold her accountable if she doesn’t know?”
Caleb nodded. “Yes. Rules are in place for a reason and there are no excuses for breaking them. Should Holly accidentally kill him, she’ll have to pay with her own life.”
“Okay,” Keara said. “Until we figure out a way to get them out of there, we have to get one of us in there to send a message telling Holly not to scream. No matter what, she can’t kill Enishka.”
“The only two who can travel are those with human blood,” Demitris added.
“Even so, how can the traveling be arranged?”
“If Enishka can use Earthlings to open a portal, so can we. I say we call upon Talya’s pet,” Keara said.
Jere groaned. “I was afraid you were going to say that. Who’s gonna tell her we put her pet in mortal danger…for a portal?”
* * * * *
The three old ladies were sitting around the black-velvet-skirted table awaiting them, almost as if they’d anticipated the arrival of the group of demons.
All three, looking like old owls, stared unblinkingly as they approached. “What do you horned weirdos want?” screeched Trisha.
“Aww, let them talk, chiquita,” Rena said.
Ace leaned in toward Jere to mutter under his breath. “Did she just call her a banana?”
Jere shushed him, though he had a smile on his face. “Don’t insult the old shrew. For some weird reason, Tally likes her.”
“Ladies,” Keara said. “Holly and Natalya have been abducted by the Demon Lord. We need your assistance in opening a portal to retrieve them.”
“Mon, we’s already did dat last time. For him!” A bejeweled finger belonging to the Jamaican pointed accusingly at Ace.
Keara sighed. “Which is why we know your power is great enough to do it again.”
“That took a lot out of us for nothing,” Rena said. “We’re not as young as we used to be, you know.”
“Surely the greatest three Earthlings of all time can open another.”
“Nope. We’re depleted.”
Keara clenched her fists.
“’Course, for Natalya and Holly we’d do it. If we had the power to. But we don’t.”
Demitris, ever the diplomat, stepped in. “How can we get you some more power?”
Ace snickered and answered at the same moment the three women did. “Men.”
Demitris looked confused. “Men?”
Trisha ran her hand down the length of her body from breast to hip. “We’re lusty like the demons!” she hollered.
“Surely you have men here?” Demitris asked, after the shock left his face.
“Have you seen them?” Rena said. “Ferget it, loser, if yous think we’re gonna be satisfied with that. Take your chicos and go.”
“Demons,” Ace said suddenly. “There men outnumber women three to one. Unlike the Earth realm.”
Trisha peered over her glasses. “Do they all look like you?”
“More like him,” Ace said, jerking his head toward Jere, who dropped his jaw at the deliberate insolence.
“I outrank you,” Jere reminded Ace, his tone indignant.
“Take one for the team,” Ace whispered back.
“I could do him,” Monika whispered into Trisha’s deaf ear.
“There’s not a lot you won’t do, hussy!” Rena hollered.
“Slut!” Monika yelled back.
“Tramp!” Rena said.
Trisha threw her arm up to the sky, where the flesh flapped like a flag in the breeze. “Cougars!” she screamed. Somewhere above, lightning flashed.
All three women cackled gleefully, hooting and hollering.
“Oooh,” Monika said, wiping the corner of her eye. “I think I peed.”
“How do we get us some men?” Rena asked suspiciously of the stunned demons who watched incredulously while the three crones finished their laughing fit.
Both Jere and Demitris turned to Ace for that one. Ace looked helplessly at Keara.
“No demon will enter Hell,” Keara reminded him. “We can’t drag them across the border on any pretense.”
“Okay, then here’s what we do,” Ace said. “The three women will enter Luciefyiore, since no demon is brave enough to cross the Earth realm.”
“Pussies,” muttered Monika.
“And,” screeched Trisha, “we need the men. That’s the only way we can get a portal to open. We have to stir up the love juices!”
“The younger the better!” yelled Rena.
Demitris winced. “Are they always this deaf?”
Keara nodded. “Talya thinks it’s cute. She’s got a spell for the three of them called ‘cotton in the ears’.”
Demitris continued. “Ace, can you round up some demons? I have to work on reversing that deaf spell. It’s driving me nuts.”
Ace looked at the ladies, long and hard. He was about admit defeat when Jere spoke. “You can always blackmail all those hoodlum hunters you hang with.”
“I don’t hang with those losers!”
“Losers?” Trish asked, one of her painted on eyebrows raised. “We don’t want no losers.”
Keara looked sly. “You know the type. Young bodybuilders, all brawn, no brains. Just slick, sweaty…muscle.”
Trish’s eyes glazed over. “Oh. Yeah. That kind of loser.”
“But now what do we get out of the whole deal?” Rena asked slyly.
“What do you mean?” Keara asked. “You said you would help us to save Holly and Natalya. You have a bond with Natalya. That should be payment enough.”
“Bond, schmond. She doesn’t call, she doesn’t write.”
“But the residual magic she allows you to keep enables your fortuneteller career.”
“Pfft. We don’t really know if that’s her magic. It could be the magic of us three together.”
“Yeah, mon!” Monika yelled, standing straight. Her breasts jiggled over the low-cut neckline of her gown. “It’s probably our own magic! It happens when the three of us get together.”
“Yeah.” Trisha looked sharp, glancing up from her own cleavage for a minute. “We’re the wicked witches of the east, west and south. That’s power, baby!”
“Who’s the witch of the north?” Demitris asked, curiosity coloring his deep voice at their bizarre reasoning.
Trisha looked at the ancient demon like he was stupid. “That’s Glinda. Didn’t you never see Wizard of Oz? We don’t want nothin’ to do with a good damn virgin witch.”
Jere looked exasperated. “You three are going to be turned loose in Luciefyiore with six demons who will see you as forty years younger! What more could you want?”
Rena looked sly. She glanced at her cronies out of the corners of her eyes. This couldn’t be good.
“I hate to admit it, but our power does let out rather wickedly when we party. We have to have booze flowing freely. Naturally the young…and they better be buff. Demons will have to lose their inhibitions with us.”
Monika snickered. “’Cause we have none.”
“I’m a fucking cougar!” yelled Trish, her eyes magnified as she peered through her
glasses.
Suddenly, Rena looked thoughtful. “Ladies, correct me if I’m wrong, but I think we want to stay forty years younger a bit longer, don’t we? Son of a bitch, if you’re taking forty years off, we want to stay that way for a whole ’nother forty years!”
Jere looked horrified. “No way! We can’t agree to that!” he looked at Demitris, pleadingly. “That upsets nature! There’s a helluva price to pay.”
“Then pay it. It’s the only way to get your wife back, sucka,” Monika said.
Jere’s eyes glowed. Caleb placed a calming hand on his shoulder. “Ladies, I’m sure we can work together on this. But surely you can see how hard it is for us. How do we explain the disappearance of, ahem, three famous fortunetellers on your planet?”
Ace cut in. “And cut down the mayhem the three younger versions of you would create? ’Cause if you’re this bad as three mummies…”
Ace held his breath. Jere had warned against insulting the old three.
Trisha looked at Rena.
Rena looked at Monika.
Monika looked at Trisha.
Eyes widened. Air was sucked into wizened old lungs. Just when he thought they’d turn and fight, he was surprised. All three cackled in another laughing fit.
It sounded like an entire coven of witches let loose. Whooping and hollering, the only three that were stunned and silent were the demons.
“Oooh, that was good. We’re mayhem. Us!” Rena said finally, wiping the corner of her eye with the long wig of Trisha’s. The wig now sat askew on her friend’s head, the length much longer on the left side. “Anyways, my dear devilish friends. Those are our requirements. End of discussion. You want them back, agree to it now.”
The three insane ones were proud instead of insulted? Ace would never understand Earthlings.
Keara looked angry. “Natalya will be very disappointed in you,” she admonished.
“Pfft! She taught me everything I know.” Rena looked down at her fingernails, studying her cuticles. She did look oddly like Natalya in the mannerism.
Jere looked at Ace, who nodded slightly. “Okay, old witches. We agree. I need my wife back, as does Ace. But don’t expect any additional favors.”