by Urania Sarri
‘Good news Ms Ioannou. I have worked out the problems with the Archeological Service. I’m pretty sure that the excavation will be starting within a month. I need you to be here as soon as possible.’ she had said over the phone.
I was so much looking forward to it! My initial inhibitions about returning to Greece were erased, as a lot more than summer school were lying ahead for me.
I left the empty tray on my desk, reminding myself to congratulate Kate on her cooking progress, although I had only tried the roast lamb.
I turned off the Dvd player because it was impossible to concentrate on the film, as my mind was still on the gorgeous tutor. That strange feeling still had not gone off and my intuition was warning me that I would soon get to know him better.
I thought of the summer school group meeting that would be taking place the following morning, feeling strangely exhilarated. For the first time ever since I had broken up with Colin I felt my heart beat fast and it surprised me to admit how much I had missed that feeling.
The next morning I woke up really early. I turned my head drowsily towards my bedside table to look at the small alarm clock our prudential landlady had left for us. I saw it was only 6.30. The summer school meeting was not until 10.00, so I tried to go back to sleep discovering soon that it was useless. I had been tossing and turning, my pillow over my head, for almost
half an hour when I finally decided to get up. I went straight to the kitchen to make coffee, since only after an adequate dose of caffeine would I be able to function properly. Strong coffee has been my one and only addiction, a delight I would always permit myself to indulge to.
The hot, bitter liquid worked instantly as a miracle. I reached for my laptop and I sat on my bed cross-legged putting it in front of me to check my e-mails. But I knew my mind was elsewhere.
Why should I be so anxious for this meeting? I asked myself as I waited for my computer to load. It would be a Monday morning meeting as always, where Rose, the summer school supervisor, would announce the classes for this week and a discussion with our tutors would follow. Of course, Dr Auburn would be joining the school staff today.
I promised myself to do my best so as not to behave foolishly in front of him again. Generally, I have always been a person with great control over my emotions and my reactions. I have consciously been very careful so as not to let others see through me. This is what I have been doing ever since my father’s death. I have been well practiced. It is an impulsive strategy of defense that’s helped me confront my problems in my own way, shutting out anybody who attempts to sneak into my thoughts and my feelings. But above all, it made my mother feel better, as she had fooled herself with the comforting thought that I had overcome my father’s loss so much easier than anyone had expected and without any irreversible consequences. Only I knew the truth. When she got married to Daugh, everyone thought I had accepted it quite easily, again without consequences. But I knew better than that.
An e-mail from my mother appeared on the screen, but at that moment I was not in a mood for more advice on how to behave in a foreign country. I had known for a long time that whenever I went away, her deepest fears were triggered off. She would never express them directly, of course, but she would bombard me with tips, as if she had copied pages of a travel guide. I found this totally unnecessary, for I had never come up against any problems with the locals here. Everyone was minding their own business, which was what I wished for.
I eventually decided to take a look at my mother’s e-mail and found it was what I had expected. The only unexpected thing about it was a surprisingly useful attachment by Daugh, with links relevant to the presentation I was to make for the Greek university conference in about two weeks. He had persuaded me to sign in, so that I would enrich my résumé, as he and my mother wished I would follow in my dad’s steps towards an academic career.
I turned off the computer and took a second cup of coffee. I decided to have it in the garden, where it was still pretty cool and quiet, trying to concentrate on the next chapter of the detective story I had started reading a couple of days ago. But I was about to discover that the book held no interest for me anymore, as I kept checking the time every ten minutes.
It was 9.00 now and I decided it was time to get dressed. I had a quick shower, put on my stretch light blue jeans, my red sneakers and a loose, floral patterned red and white blouse. I looked at my image in the mirror and gave myself a smile of approbation. I never had any problems with my looks, although I’ve always considered myself as common, in fact I have been grateful for being like that. My strong point, I guess, is my figure, one of the few things life has been generous to me, because I have a slim figure but curvy at he same time, making others think I spend my time at the gym, which is far from being true of course. Kate always says that she envies my “sexy figure to which I should be giving more credit”. My hair is long and light brown and I have my mother’s gray eyes, although the almond shape and the long black lashes come from my dad. So does my complexion, which is not the typical British pale colour. Colin used to say I was the most beautiful girl in uni but I was sure his judgment was far from being unbiased. Besides, he was used to lying to me, anyway.
I took my sunglasses, cap, and backpack and went to get Kate. Her door was open and I saw she was still in bed. Tony was not with her.
‘Isn’t it a little too early?’ she asked stretching her arms lazily.
‘Well, I have to run some errands before the meeting, so I guess I’ll see you there.’ I set off before she started getting suspicious of the reasons for my anxiety.
I found my car, a white Beetle, a gift from my mother on my last birthday, under the shadow of an olive tree in the backyard. Daugh had hired a driver to drive it to Greece a week before my departure. Inside it still felt cool. That was good, considering it was 30° C already outside. I wondered whether my stretch jeans had been the right choice in this temperature, as I felt them stick on my already sweaty legs.
I turned on the stereo and music from my favorite band, singing about chasing starlight, flooded the cabin. ‘That’s definitely a good way to start your day!’ I said to myself.
The meeting did not last longer than an hour.
Rose started with the introduction of Dr Auburn.
Christopher came to shake each student’s hand with a polite smile on his face.
When it was my turn, he said ‘Nice to see you again Emma. How are you today?’
‘Fine.’ I replied laconically, smiling but keeping my hands under the desk. Not having to touch him was a good idea, as I would not like to freeze again in front of everyone in the room. Kate followed my example too, so nobody noticed my awkwardness.
I was determined to preserve my self-dignity this time, so I would choose every word carefully. After all, I had had enough time to prepare myself for meeting him this morning. Never again would he catch me unprepared.
‘Emma, you should know that Christopher is also here to supervise the developments in Project-Em.’ Rose announced in an anxious manner.
I flinched, alarmed by what she had just said. I had not been prepared for this. He could have told me last night, if of course I had not behaved like a fool.
‘I see.’ That was all I managed to say.
‘Then, can I see you in my office after the meeting?’ Christopher asked me.
‘Sure.’ I said, this time in a fake-casual manner, although Ι was certain my eyes revealed how alarmed Ι still was.
During the rest of the meeting, I tried hard not to look at him, although he was sitting just a few meters across. I had noticed he too was wearing light blue jeans and an off-white linen shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The first three buttons of his shirt were undone revealing the upper muscles of his chest. It was impossible to concentrate on what the tutors were saying.
Kate was doodling absentmindedly; she was probably recalling last night’s date with Tony. I noticed that Beth and Sue at the front desk were staring at Christ
opher. I had heard them talk about him excitedly before the meeting started, trying not to laugh at their childish remarks. When he was shaking their hand, they looked as if he had mesmerized them. There you are, I thought, satisfied with my discovery. I’m not the only one who behaves like a schoolgirl in front of him.
Truly, he was the most beautiful man in the room, in the building, in the city, in the whole world for all I cared. He does not belong in this context, I thought. Men like him you expect to find in magazine photos of celebrity parties and VIP resorts, not in a summer school meeting of the faculty. No, he did not belong there. He was the only dissonance in that room. I could not resist staring at him anymore, and the same wistful feeling started to overwhelm me once again. Thankfully, the meeting was over before anyone noticed my dazzled expression.
I stood up and walked to the door, battling with my desire to run away. Kate had caught up with me, asking me something I could not hear. I turned around and saw that two of the female students were going straight to him to welcome him again.
He talked to them politely for a few moments, noticing I was waiting for him by the door. He asked if he could be excused with the most irresistible smile of his.
‘Hey, have you heard anything I just said?’ Kate was complaining next to me.
‘Sorry, what?’
‘I just said we’re going swimming with Tony and Mick at four. Make sure you’ll be there and don’t stand us up again. We have to get you out of the house, girl. It looks like you still need a push.’ she said, as she put her arms under the straps of her backpack.
‘I’ll see you there.’ I said quickly and she left me to join the others.
He came to me.
‘Shall we?’ he asked. I just nodded and let him lead. I already knew he was sharing his office with Harry. He opened the door and waited for me to go in first.
First thing he did was to turn on the air conditioner. He had probably thought the heat had caused the red on my cheeks.
‘Much better now.’ he said. ‘Please, Emma, make yourself comfortable.’ he pointed to the black, leather sofa. He sat right next to me. And it happened again. I was instantly numb, helplessly overwhelmed by his presence. Chemistry. I thought. That must be it. For the first time I had come to realize the meaning of the word. It felt as if his whole body was attracting mine in a weird, primitive way, while, at the same time, the feeling of familiarity struck me again. For a brief moment I saw myself touching him, his silk hair, his beautiful angel-like face… Pull yourself together Emma, a warning voice was shouting in my head.
He looked convincingly comfortable next to me, which is something I could not say for myself. Could he not have sensed the intensity of the atmosphere between us? His deep blue, penetrating eyes were fixed on me, making me even more uncomfortable.
I pretended to be looking around as if it was the first time I had been in Harry’s office. That didn’t help at all. When I started to think it could not get any worse, he broke the ice first.
‘I hope you’re not angry at me.’ he said.
Angry? Why should I be angry at him? He went on, as if he had read my mind.
‘For not telling you last night the reason for my presence here, I mean. I thought the timing was …bad.’ Right now it did not help to be reminded of last night.
‘You know, there isn’t much to supervise. I’m afraid it’s all been stuck up to bureaucracy. The file has remained closed up to now.’ I tried to keep my voice calm.
He did not say anything. His eyes were still fixed on my face as if he was trying to find out my true intentions for what I had just said. I decided to be more honest as sooner or later he would discover the truth. So I went on, in a more confiding tone.
‘Still, we’re planning to start the excavation next month, if things go well. Demetra, the supervising archeologist, has been able to work out some of the problems. But you know, we’re still keeping our fingers crossed.’
‘I see.’ he said finally, looking down. His heavy black lashes were hiding the blue of his eyes.
‘Well, if this is the case, I want a copy of the file on my desk first thing in the morning.’ he said, in a slightly authoritative manner. Then his voice softened again.
‘If you don’t have a problem with this of course.’ he added.
‘Of course not.’ I said, but my unwillingness was apparent in my voice. The idea of having a stranger into my dad’s notes for once more was not welcome. But he was not really a stranger, was he? Somehow I felt I could trust him although I could not explain why.
‘May I ask where you are planning to start digging?’ he asked.
‘Point-X.’ I replied. ‘I’ll show you on the map.’ I turned to get my backpack.
‘Emma, I know exactly where Point-X is.’ His voice was suddenly cold. I was startled by his serious tone. Besides, I would never have guessed he had spent time memorizing the plans for the excavation.
He looked at me as if he was expecting me to ask something. But I was already helpless. His face was so close to mine that I could not stop myself from getting lost into his eyes once more. Those so familiar eyes! I realized I was breathing heavily.
He stood up and went to look outside the window. As soon as the distance between us increased, I felt released. I sensed there was something bothering him about what I had said. He’d better not try to change my plans, I thought. Disagreeing with him was the last thing I needed. I was sure I would not be able to handle it, considering the effect he had over me.
He turned suddenly and I noticed his beautiful, inexplicably familiar smile was back too.
‘Now, can you show me around? Harry’s not coming until tomorrow and I haven’t had breakfast yet. So, unless you condemn me to spend my morning with Rose and Dr De Marco, will you please join me?’
I was desperate for an excuse to run out of the room, but, instead, I heard my voice as if it was someone else’s.
‘Of course.’ Second thoughts came up instantly.
‘You mean right now?’ I must be mental, I thought.
‘Yes, shall we take my car?’ I hesitated for a moment.
‘It’s settled then.’ he said, deciding for me. ‘Let’s go.’
He must have sensed I was about to be mesmerized by his eyes again.
He was walking next to me whistling a familiar tune, while I was careful to keep a safe distance from him. He certainly doesn’t belong here, I thought again. He held the passenger door of an astounding silver Audi Q7 open for me, which was something I had not been used to. He sat on the driver seat and started the car.
I tried to focus on the marvelous screen of the car but, inevitably, I could smell his perfume, reminding me of deep forest scents.
His stereo started playing, the same song I had listened in my car a couple of hours ago. I was startled by his taste in music. He put on his sunglasses, smiling. ‘Now you lead the way, Emma.’ he said.
He followed my instructions unquestioningly. I had decided to take him to one of the beach cafés where it would be most unlikely to meet any of my friends at this time of day. The girls would probably have hated me for this and I didn’t even want to think what Mick and Tony would say. However, I could think of someone I would like to see me now, next to this man who looked more like a model than a university tutor. I’d really like to see the expression on Colin’s face right now! I smiled. It surprised me to find Colin’s memory pleasurably distracting for the first time.
We were already walking on the fresh lawn of the garden of “Quasar” café.’ Soft jazz music was coming from inside.
‘Where do you want to sit?’ I asked him.
‘You choose.’ he answered, taking off his sunglasses to take a better look of the place.
I picked a table in the back garden where I knew it would not be so hot, as the shadow of the building protected it from the hot rays of the sun. It would also keep us away from the curious glances I had noticed the few customers cast on us as we were coming in. I could imagine every w
oman in this café was fancying him.
I realized I was quite flattered that he had invited me. Tutors, even Harry, usually went out with their colleagues, not with students. Not to mention that men like him would hang around in beach bars with models, not with university students.
He came to sit next to me, our elbows almost touching. This is too much, I thought. Colin, a thought about Colin please! But my mind suddenly became blank.
As the teenage waitress approached, I could not help smiling with the expression on her face as, naturally, she too was captured by his looks. She had to repeat our order three times to make sure she had got it right. And it was not that much difficult to comprehend.
‘French coffee and breakfast for two. Right.’ she said finally, as she turned for the bar. It was comforting to find out again that I was not the only one who could not concentrate when being next to him.
He noticed I was smiling. ‘You look in a much better mood than before. I hope you’ll be more talkative too.’ he remarked.
‘I’m sorry Dr Auburn if I gave you the wrong impression.’ I apologized with a sheepish smile.
‘Christopher.’ He cut me. ‘After all, you have already noticed I’m not old enough to be a tutor, haven’t you?’
‘Again, I’m awfully sorry’ I hesitated. ‘…Christopher.’ I said eventually. ‘I don’t know why I said that.’
‘You were right, you know. I am too young. You weren’t of course the only one to be surprised. Most people at the School were surprised too. And they’d be more surprised if they knew I refused their invitation to be here with you.’
His tone was suddenly serious. I realized there was more to this meeting than I had originally thought.
‘Why? I mean, why did you choose to be with me?’ I asked looking at the waitress’s unsteady hands as she was emptying the tray on our table.
‘Well, I wanted to talk to you.’ He was helping himself to the toasted bread as he said that.
‘About what?’ I pretended this was the most natural conversation ever, trying to ignore the fast beating of my heart as I brought the cup of hot filter coffee to my lips. It was burning hot. I’d started to act foolishly again. I put the cup back, pretending nothing had happened, trying to ignore the pain from the burn on my tongue.