“But…?”
“I’m just not comfortable with putting everything on the line like that financially, not when I have a baby counting on me to support us.”
RAFFERTY SPENT a restless night and awakened feeling as if he got up on the wrong side of the bed. His mood was not improved by the increasing merriment in the bunkhouse. There was Christmas music playing on the stereo in the main room at 7:00 a.m. Lights twinkling on the tree. Laughter, good cheer and pancakes in the shape of reindeer. Not quite the ambience he would have expected, given that the ranch was soon going to be losing the best thing that had ever happened to it. Unless he figured out how to make Jacey happy enough to stay on.
Meanwhile, the cowboys were busy with some sort of plan of their own. Stretch took the lead, announcing as soon as the dishes were done, “Uh, Jacey, we, uh, need your station wagon for the next day or two, depending.”
“On what?” Jacey asked.
“Santa Claus,” Curly quipped. “Seems like he might need a little head start this year.”
“Now you’ve really got me curious,” Jacey said with a smile.
“Well, don’t be too curious,” Gabby warned, “because we all want you to be surprised.”
“Any idea what they’re up to?” Jacey asked Rafferty after the bunkhouse emptied out, and it was just him and her and the baby once again.
“None.” Except he was sure it was some way to induce her to stay on as ranch chef.
She threw a blanket over her shoulder and sat down to nurse. “Any guesses then?”
Rafferty shrugged. It had never bothered him to be left out of Christmas preparations. Until now. “They might be having your station wagon detailed for you.”
She bit her lip, thinking. “But it would just get dusty again when they were driving it back here.”
“Good point.”
“So what could it be?” Jacey wondered, mystified.
Rafferty did not know. What he did realize was how excited Jacey was getting at the thought of receiving a Christmas present from the guys. And that, in turn, left him in the ditch, because he had no idea what he should get her. Casually, he turned a chair around and sank into it backward. Folding his arms across the top, he said, “I was thinking I’d like to get Caitlin a gift.” He figured that was a good place to start.
Jacey’s eyes sparkled. “Would that be you, Rafferty Evans, participating in Christmas?”
She had to know she was wearing him down with her nonstop holiday cheer. He feigned nonchalance. “It could be a happy-you’re-seven-weeks-old-and-doing-so-well-kind-of-gift.”
“Mmm, hmm.” She did not look convinced.
Self-consciously, he tried again. “So what do you think she might like?” He really wanted to do this right.
“A play gym.”
Rafferty paused. “To climb on outside?”
Jacey shifted the baby to her other breast, the blanket covering her slipping only slightly. “No. It’s a quilted mat that you put on the floor, and it has these contraptions that go up in the air, over the baby, with toys hanging down that the baby can watch and touch. She may be a tad young for it, but I’d really like her to have one.”
“What does she need?”
“Isn’t that enough?”
Rafferty shrugged, not sure he could explain how important it was to him that Jacey and Caitlin not want for anything. “My dad and the fellas might want to get her something, too,” he fibbed.
“I think they already have, Rafferty.”
Once again, beaten to the punch.
“But thank you for thinking of my baby girl. I appreciate it.”
Silence fell. Aware all over again just how empty his life had been up to now, Rafferty asked, “Do you have plans for the day?”
“Yes,” Jacey said mysteriously. “I do.”
Longing welled inside him. “Want to share them?”
Jacey shook her head. “It’s a secret.”
“WHAT PUT A THORN in your paw?” Eli asked two hours later.
Rafferty paced the halls of the ranch house. Today being one of the days he had ascribed to compensation time off for the hired hands, he had hoped to spend it with Jacey and Caitlin.
Instead, she had run off to heaven knows where—taking his dad’s pickup and her baby—while he was left here, trying to fill the empty hours by working on the spring sale catalog.
Meanwhile…even his father seemed to have gotten in the spirit. Eli was in the kitchen, singing Christmas carols, while clumsily wrapping presents he had bought for everyone on the ranch.
Rafferty examined the talking teddy bear his father had purchased for Caitlin. It was really cute. “That apron for Jacey?” Blue denim, it had Best Chef in Texas embroidered across the front.
“Got one of the ladies at the barbecue last weekend to make it for me. They were sure she’d like it because it’ll protect her fancy clothes from cooking stains.”
Rafferty had never noticed Jacey getting anything on herself, no matter what she was making. “It’s a nice gift,” he said grudgingly.
“Too bad you’re not into Christmas,” his father said. “Otherwise, you might be having a little fun, getting into the spirit, yourself.”
“I’m fine,” Rafferty said stubbornly. Although it was getting harder and harder to defend his Ebenezer Scrooge mentality. Lost Mountain Ranch hadn’t been this lively in years.
“Since you’re not intending to buy Jacey anything…”
Who said he wasn’t? Rafferty fumed.
Eli finished sagely, “Maybe you could do something that demonstrates how much Jacey and her little girl have come to mean to you, instead.”
Chapter Thirteen
Rafferty was sitting in the middle of the nursery, antique crib parts all around him, when Jacey walked in with Caitlin. A quizzical expression on her face, she set the baby on the diaper changing pad on the bed. “What’s going on here?” she asked.
“It was supposed to be a Chr—” Rafferty stopped himself just in time, correcting himself “—a surprise.”
She grinned at what he had almost said and went about diapering the baby. “Well, you accomplished that, all right.”
“I thought you might want Caitlin sleeping in more than the bassinet—given how big she’s getting. So I dug this out of the storeroom and cleaned it up, only to find out that there are no instructions as to how to put the parts together so the side rail will move up and down. Plus, I’m not sure where the linens are to fit the crib, if we still have any, that is. My mother may have given them away years ago. She just held on to the crib because she wanted her grandchildren to use it.”
“I can see why.” Finished, Jacey put the soiled diaper in the pail and went to wash her hands. She returned to get Caitlin, then ran a hand lovingly over the solid cherry end board. “It’s very beautiful. But you didn’t have to go to all this trouble, Rafferty. The bassinet in here, and the Pack ’n Play over in the bunkhouse are just fine.”
For now, Rafferty thought. “The point is, we can do better by you.”
Jacey sent him a grateful glance. “You and your dad have done plenty to see that we’re comfortable.” She smoothed the tufted curls on the top of her daughter’s head.
Figuring he would have to look on the Internet to see if he could find instructions for this crib, or a similarly designed one, Rafferty stood.
Aware it had been too long since he had held Jacey’s little girl, he ambled closer and held out his hands. She leaned toward him and Jacey handed Caitlin over.
“Do you know what time the fellas are due back this evening?” She glanced at the clock on the bureau, saw it was four o’clock.
Rafferty tucked his index finger in Caitlin’s fist. “They’re staying in El Paso tonight.”
“El Paso?” Jacey repeated, as if not sure she’d heard right.
Rafferty lifted Caitlin’s fist to his lips for a gentle, affectionate kiss. He didn’t know if it was that he had helped bring this little girl into the world,
or that she was Jacey’s daughter, but he loved her every bit as much as he would have loved the child he had lost. His feelings for her mother were equally strong.
Realizing Jacey was waiting for his answer, Rafferty explained, “The guys had some big holiday errand to do. And they weren’t going to be done until sometime tomorrow.”
Jacey sighed with frustration. “So I guess that means my Volvo station wagon is still with them?”
With his free hand, Rafferty tucked a strand of Jacey’s hair behind her ear. “I would imagine so.”
“You don’t think they’ve gotten it in their heads to have it painted a different shade of red or something, do you?” she asked worriedly.
Rafferty hoped not. Vehicle color was such an individual thing. “I’m sure it’s nothing that elaborate,” he said. Although they wouldn’t have had to drive the car for four hours to have it professionally washed and waxed—they could have it detailed in Summit, or Fort Stockton. The closest Volvo dealership, however, was in El Paso. But what could they be doing there?
Rafferty thought a moment, surprised by how interested he was getting in all the gift-giving secrecy, and all because of Jacey.
She looked at him, as if hoping for some essential clue. Finally, he said, “The hubcaps on it are kind of plain. Guys like fancy hubcaps.”
Jacey propped her hips against the bureau. “Well, whatever they are doing,” she said at last, “I am sure it’s with a lot of love…so I know I’ll like it.”
Rafferty was sure of that, too.
The hired hands revered Jacey too much to do anything less than top-notch. Which was undoubtedly why they’d felt it necessary to go all the way to El Paso.
“So it’s just the three of us for dinner tonight, then?” Jacey said.
“Two,” Rafferty corrected. “Dad went to Marfa to see some old friends.”
Jacey took a moment to digest that. “Does he normally have so many social invitations?”
“During the holidays, yes. It’s well known that I don’t have a lot of yuletide spirit.” At least up till now, Rafferty added silently. “Christmas has always meant a lot to my dad. People know he really misses my mom at this time of year, so they include him in their own festivities and he’s happy to go.”
“Whereas you…”
“Generally prefer not to.” Although, Rafferty thought, that too was beginning to change. He wouldn’t mind taking Jacey and Caitlin both out a lot more. Publicly claiming them as his. Although that was going to take some careful handling. He didn’t want to do anything that would cause Jacey to be any more skittish than she already was by pushing her into something she was not ready for. When she signaled to him that she was ready to take the next step, he would go for it. No holds barred.
Lost in her own thoughts, Jacey cuddled Caitlin close, her expression as tender as he knew his had been just moments before, when he had held the infant. “Any requests then?”
Yes, Rafferty thought, a solid night of lovemaking followed by breakfast in bed—served by him to the lovely woman in his life. Thinking it might be a little presumptuous of him to say so, however, he merely shrugged. “Whatever is easiest to prepare. I can even put together some sandwiches if you want. Or if you want to go back into town, I’ll take you out for dinner.”
Jacey waved off the offer of another two hours’ commuting time, just for the privilege of eating in a restaurant. “That’s okay. I don’t mind doing my job. But I do have a favor to ask.”
Rafferty caught her as she passed, and gathered her close. “Name it.”
Jacey smiled. “Hold Caitlin while I bring in my presents…? And no peeking! I don’t want anyone seeing anything I bought before I wrap it.” She tapped the center of his chest with her fingertip. “And that includes you, cowboy.”
He chuckled at her indignant expression. “Why not?”
She transferred the baby to him. Then eased away from him, the sight of her back as tantalizing as her front. “Because I don’t know if you can keep a secret.”
He flashed a devil-may-care grin. “Seems to me I’ve been doing a pretty good job so far.”
Jacey turned around and rolled her eyes in exasperation. “About something else besides the fact we’ve hooked up,” she said, no more able to contain her happiness than he could.
Unable to help himself, he nodded at the vehicle in the driveway and prompted, “So I guess that means there’s something for me in there?”
Jacey wrinkled her nose at him playfully. “Not telling.”
Rafferty watched Jacey turn and sashay out to the pick-up truck she’d borrowed, then carried Caitlin into the living room to wait, out of sight.
Her eyes were immediately drawn to the Christmas tree, which looked a little plain without the lights twinkling, so he turned them on.
Caitlin gurgled in delight and made a clumsy attempt to reach for a branch.
Rafferty moved closer. Still cuddling her close, he guided her tiny fist to the fragrant green branch and watched as she explored it tentatively then held on tight. Transfixed, she studied the decorations.
“You look content” a soft voice spoke behind him.
Rafferty turned. Jacey stood there, hair windblown, cheeks and lips pink. “I still have part of a bottle of breast milk left. If you want to feed her, I can go ahead and get some supper on for us.”
Nothing, Rafferty thought, would please him more.
She warmed the bottle and shook it well. Rafferty sat in a chair in the kitchen, while Jacey puttered around the room, expertly throwing a meal together.
Rafferty had never considered himself a homebody—he preferred being out on the range. But being here with Jacey and Caitlin, in the house where he’d grown up, he felt more content and at peace than he had in a very long time. And it was all due to the woman in front of him, and the joy she and her baby girl had brought into his life.
“You’re really good with babies,” Jacey noted when Caitlin had finished her bottle and fallen asleep with her cheek pressed against his shoulder, one tiny arm encircling his neck.
Jacey came closer and just stood there, savoring the sweetness of the moment, just as he was. She plucked the digital camera off the kitchen counter and snapped a few pictures of her daughter sleeping contently in Rafferty’s arms.
“Had a lot of practice?” she continued as casually as if they were just friends, instead of a whole lot more.
Rafferty shifted the infant gently so Jacey could get a better image of her daughter’s cherubic features. “Just this little darlin’,” he murmured.
With a sigh, Jacey returned the camera to the counter. “You should be a father someday.”
There was only one child he could see himself fathering at the moment. The little girl in his arms. Rafferty returned his gaze to Jacey’s. His desire to protect the two of them growing by leaps and bounds, he asked quietly, “Have you given any more thought to my offer to be her godfather?” To having me in your lives permanently?
“Yes, I have,” Jacey said, looking as at peace with her decision as he wanted her to be. “If you’re still willing, Rafferty, I’d like that very much.”
IN LINE WITH his new responsibility, Rafferty took another stab at putting the crib frame together after the dinner dishes were done. While he worked, Jacey embarked on another evening of yuletide baking.
When that was done, he got on the Internet and ordered a new mattress for the crib, along with several changes of linens that were suitable for a baby girl.
He paid extra to have it delivered by Christmas Eve.
Suddenly inspired, he went back online and added a few toys and a nursing cushion for Jacey that was supposed to make her more comfortable than the bed pillow she was currently using.
Then he got to thinking about the red cowgirl boots she had admired in the western-wear store. He found a pair of her shoes and checked out her size, then called the store and put a hold on a pair of those, too.
As long as he was doing that, he ordered his fath
er a new suede jacket with a sheepskin lining, and a hat to go with it. Then he purchased a dozen new movies on DVD for the hired hands.
He didn’t know what it was this year.
Maybe he was making up for lost time…but he couldn’t stop shopping.
Any more, apparently, than Jacey could stop baking sugary holiday treats.
He followed the delicious aroma. She was standing at the kitchen table, assembling sheets of precut gingerbread with thick white icing.
His gut tightened with emotion.
She looked over at him with a shy smile, knowing full well how much this meant to him, both in the past, and especially now. She slathered snow on the roof, let it drip down the eaves. “Want to help me decorate?” she asked softly.
Inundated by happy memories of Christmases past, and hope for all the holidays of the future, he nodded. “Sure.” Adopting her too-cool tone, he picked up a few gumdrops and placed them around the base of the house. She framed the windows and doors with red licorice.
“You even got peppermint sticks.” Pleased, he anchored two in the icing on either side of the snow surrounding the house.
“Of course.” She reached into the pocket of her apron and produced a foil-wrapped Santa and Mrs. Claus and eight chocolate reindeer. She made a comical face that invited teasing one-upmanship. “You have to know there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to see you celebrate Christmas at long last.”
He shook his head, loving the mischief in her eyes as much as he loved everything she did and said. “All this…just to win our bet?” He wrapped his arms around her waist and drew her close.
She shook her head and splayed her hands across his chest. “Just to see you happy again,” she corrected. The mischief in her eyes faded, replaced by something even more intoxicating. “As happy as you should be,” she whispered, slanting her face up to his.
“Well,” he drawled, tenderness unlike anything he had ever felt filling his heart, “if that’s what you want…”
“Oh, it is.” She lifted her lips closer still, kissing him with a hunger and a yearning he not only understood but felt himself. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, Jacey had been his destiny ever since the first time they had made love. He saw it in the way she looked at him when they were alone, and even when they weren’t. He felt it in the way she responded to him, opening her mouth and drawing his tongue deep inside, in the way she clung to him and surged against him. There was no fighting this, he thought, as desire raged through him. Unable to get enough of her, he kissed her with an intensity that took their breath away, until she surrendered to his will, as surely as he gave in to hers.
A Baby in the Bunkhouse Page 16