However...
However, he wanted to make love to her in the morning. He wanted to give her a proper breakfast, and perhaps let her try his Turkish coffee, if only to see the face that she would make. He wanted all of that, and he could have none of it if he sent her away.
So she would stay. For a little while. Jahin resolved to be very clear with her about what she could expect and what he would offer to her.
He looked down at her sleeping face and traced the soft curve of her cheek with one gentle finger. And when she smiled in her sleep, he couldn't help but smile in return.
Chapter Seven
The moment she woke up, snuggled safe in Jahin's arms and blinking blearily at the pale morning light, Bedelia knew she had made a terrible mistake.
Oh my god, what have I done?
This was wrong. This was all wrong. This wasn't where she was supposed to be. This wasn't the place for her. She knew who she was, and she wasn't a person who threw everything over for a night of passion. This felt like a fairytale, and she knew that no matter how much she craved one, this wasn't where she would find it.
She glanced at Jahin's sleeping face, and she had to resist an urge to touch it.
No. I can't let this happen.
Keeping her panic in check, she slowly inched out from under his arm. At the last moment, he grumbled in his sleep, dragging her close to him again, and she had to start over. This time, it was even harder for Bedelia because she could feel how warm his bare flesh was against hers, and how his body was becoming aware of her naked presence, even if he was still asleep.
No, this man is more of a temptation than anyone has any right to be.
When she finally made it into the bathroom and closed the door behind her, Bedelia felt her mind clear, and she could think at least a little.
This is just going to get my heart broken, was her first thought. It seemed inevitable. She would never be more than a brief affair for Jahin, and that might break her in a way from which she would never recover. She knew herself too well, and she was far from worldly. There would never be a place where she could be happy with this.
I need to be smart and end this, she decided.
She had thought she would at least get some relief when she had made a decision, but apparently that was not meant to be. Instead, she felt worse. She shook her head. It was too much, and of course there was the fact that he was her first, and she hadn't even gotten around to freaking out about that yet.
She had always wanted her first time to be special, and when she thought about it, that had been fulfilled and then some. Having her first experience with the physical realities of love take place on a high terrace with a man like Jahin? That was the stuff dreams were made of. Apparently, she had just forgotten to specify that her first time should also be with a man who would stay. The thought of Jahin leaving created such a tearing sensation in her heart that she couldn't bear it. She had to do something else, and she made herself get in the shower.
The moment the hot water hit her, she felt a little better, a little less frozen, a little more as if she could think about what was happening to her.
She knew what she wanted. She wasn't going to get it.
So then, what did she need to do from here?
I don't want to be strung along and toyed with. I don't want to pretend that this is some kind of romantic thing when I know it's not. I can't be the untried and inexperienced girl that he holds in contempt.
That was a part of it, she had to admit. She could never stand for people to laugh at her. She had had too many people who pretended to be friends, only to reveal a little later on that they were nothing of the sort. She didn't want Jahin to pretend to be sweet and romantic with her when the truth was a much different thing. She couldn't bear it.
I want nothing but the truth, she decided. No matter what that looks like.
It might not have been an amazing solution, but it was the solution that she had. When she had so few bargaining chips, she had to be very clear about things...
Bedelia's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the bathroom door opening. She jumped a little, but through the shower stall’s steam-fogged glass, she could recognize Jahin's shape. She caught her breath when she saw him strip out of his clothes, and by the time he reached the shower door, sliding it back just enough to ease in with her, she was achingly aware of his nudity.
"You're so beautiful," she blurted out, and he looked down at her, his copper eyes wide for a moment before he chuckled.
"I climbed in here to seduce you," he said with a smile. "I hadn't thought that you would be the one trying to seduce me."
Bedelia blushed, and it wasn't just because of the heat of the water streaming down over them.
"I'm afraid you are going to have to take what you can get," she said with dignity. "I do not have many skills when it comes to seduction, and this is the best I can do."
"Oh, I beg to differ," he said with a smirk. "I think your seduction skills are superb."
She couldn't stop herself from laughing at his patently ridiculous sentence.
"Do you really expect me to think that you are a man who is seduced by a line about how beautiful he is?" she mocked. "I know I'm just a little hick from Iowa, but come on!"
Those copper eyes darkened, and she shivered, because by now, she knew what that meant.
"No, it's true," he purred. "Our disagreement seems to come from the fact that you think that it is only words that seduce."
Bedelia looked at him, baffled but amused. "Really? Are you saying that I am calling to you with my thoughts or something, like some kind of psychic vampire?"
"What a strange woman you are," he marveled. "Here we are, naked in the shower, and you have no idea how appealing you are."
He moved so fast that suddenly he was pressing her back against the glass, his body warm and alive and so good against hers that she whimpered.
"All of you seduces me," he growled, his voice thick with lust. "All of you. Your hair. Your eyes. The roundness of your shoulders and the sway of your breasts. Your waist and hips and thighs that seem to call to my hands. And the looks you give me, woman. The looks could tempt a holy man to the worst kind of sins. You don't even know you are doing it, and that could drive me insane. Except..."
"Except?" she asked, her throat suddenly dry.
"Except for the fact that I know I can drive you just as crazy."
This was what she was afraid of. This was the thing that frightened her. She craved him so much, and it wasn't just his body. It was all of him, the sweet words he could say without really meaning them, the heat that he promised her that would only leave her cold in the not-so-distant future. She had to be on her guard, but god, that was so difficult.
In a matter of seconds, her hands were pinned above her head, and he was kissing her slowly and with all the time in the world. His free hand, the one that was not trapping her flat against the glass, was exploring her body, lazily roving from shoulder to breast, to belly to thigh and back up again. He moved as if he had all the time in the world, as if the rest of the world would simply wait for him until he had what he wanted.
"Your body is a treasure," he murmured, and she would have assumed that he was laughing at her, making some kind of joke, but then she realized that there was nothing but sincerity. There was a kind of worshipfulness that was so total and so enamored that she would have to be blind to deny it.
"I...I am glad you like it," she said. "It gets me where I need to go..."
She might have said more, but then he dipped his head down and kissed the side of her neck. She could feel the sharp edge of his teeth, but he was so gentle with her that she shivered. The water was warm, but it was no match for the heat of his kiss, the way it trailed down to her breast before he took one brown nipple between his teeth.
"Oh god..."
She could feel how very sharp his teeth were against that oh-so-tender flesh, but the risk only made fireworks go off through her body. H
er hips bucked up when he bit down gently, and he chuckled.
Instead of saying anything, however, he simply slid his hand up her thighs, nudging them apart until he had clearance to exactly what he wanted. There was something terribly intimate about standing like that in front of him, but she couldn't bear to try to shield herself, not when he stroked her most intimate flesh with such an assured touch. She gasped when he slid a finger inside her, but he pulled it away again just as quickly. She realized he was testing her readiness, and the thought made a deep shiver run throughout her body. His thumb rubbed languid circles over her clit, making her shudder and thrash again, but he refused to hurry. Once or twice, he slid a finger down inside her again, but he must have been displeased with what he found because he only returned to rub her clit over and over again.
It felt like there were half a dozen urges fighting inside her. On one hand, her body yearned for the release that she knew he and he alone could give her. Then he slid a finger inside her, and she knew that she wanted nothing more than to be filled up with him, to bring him as close as she could be to another human being. Then she remembered the way his hand held her pinned against the glass, and all she wanted to do was to be released so that she could touch him.
It was nothing less than a full-out assault on her senses, and she had just managed to piece a sentence together when he made electric sparks shoot through her, destroying any sense that she might have been trying to make.
She was just on the verge of spilling over, helpless and wailing, when he pressed his lips against her ear. For a moment, he was content to mouth at her lobe and nibble on the tip, but then he spoke.
“This is perfect,” he growled, his voice low and nearly guttural. “This is mine.”
She could barely speak when those words sunk in. They lit a kind of passion inside her, and without thinking of what she looked or sounded like, she couldn't resist trying to press her body against his.
“Please, I need you,” she whimpered. “Please don't deny me.”
He froze as if he had been struck by lightning, and then he moved so fast that he took her breath away. He dropped her hands, and his hands came down to cup her rear lovingly, lifting her straight up off the ground. For a moment, there was a sensation of terrifying weightlessness and then her back pressed against the glass behind her and her legs clamped firmly around his hips.
“I'm going to fall,” she cried out in panic, but his chuckle was supremely confident.
“No, you're not. I won't let you, I promise.”
She might have protested longer. She had never been one of those light-as-a-feather girls who could be tossed around with ease. But then she felt the tip of his manhood pressed against her entrance, and she lost all ability to fight. All Bedelia wanted just then was to have him fully sheathed inside her, or she thought she would go mad with the lack.
“Please, please,” she murmured, and it seemed as if Jahin knew exactly what it was that she craved. He entered her with one strong stroke, filling her completely and making her cry out with the perfection of it. There must have been an edge to her voice, however, because he froze.
“Bedelia?” he asked softly. “Are you all right?”
She could have sobbed in frustration. Her hands fisted on his shoulders, and she buried her face in his chest.
“Move, please, move, I need you,” she gasped, and with a fierce smile, he did as she said.
There was nothing hurried about this at all, nothing frenzied or out of control. His grip on her body remained firm and rock-steady, and all she had to do was feel the sensations that rolled over her body like a tide. She was held safely in his arms, and all she had to do was enjoy the sensations that he was offering her. There was something deep and beautifully abiding about his movements, about the way he slid in and out of her. It was primal, it was the most natural thing she had ever felt, and it was all she wanted forever.
The intensity of being joined with him was so good that she almost didn't notice the pleasure that rose up within her. This flame built up steadily like a carefully tended bonfire, but in a surprisingly short time, it was too powerful to ignore. Bedelia could feel her body start to shake, and she tried to resist it. What she had with Jahin in this moment felt so good that she couldn't bear to let it go, especially when it might be the last time it happened. She tried to push off her pleasure for as long as she could, but after a few moments, Bedelia knew it could not be denied.
Pleasure started to pulse through her body, as inexorable as the tide, and she dug her nails into his shoulders, her eyes squeezed tight. When the cascade of sensations started, all she could do was hold on tight, groaning through gritted teeth as she allowed it to take every part of her. The fire spread slowly and then more rapidly, and finally she was consumed in the flames, helpless to stop the pleasure that she was being given.
Bedelia cried out with her pleasure, unable to keep quiet, and when she was at the peak of her climax, she felt Jahin start to shudder as well, his body slamming into hers with thrusts that were less controlled, more wild, more unconstrained. Somehow, that made it better. He wasn't lying when he said she could drive him wild, because she could feel the proof of it right now. She could feel how much he needed the release that she was giving him, and a part of her thrilled at forcing this reaction out of him.
The sensations ebbed from her body slowly. It felt like it took an age for her to catch her breath and return to any kind of real awareness. Slowly, Bedelia came down from her summit of pleasure, and realizations started trickling back in. She was briefly surprised by the fact that there was still water coming down around them, that her legs, aching slightly now, were still locked around Jahin's hips.
He glanced up at her and grinned, and slowly, carefully, he set her down on the ground.
“Well, that was one hell of a shower,” she said, her voice hoarse and rusty. “Shall we get out?”
“Well, I haven't had mine yet,” he said practically, and with a grin, she reached for the soap.
Running the lather all over his body wasn't the same kind of pleasure as being taken against the shower wall, but there was something calm and quiet about it that made her feel surprisingly, blessedly whole.
Which was why this needed to stop as soon as they got out of the shower.
Chapter Eight
When he stepped out from under the shower, drying Bedelia gently with one of the big, fluffy white towels before he dried himself, Jahin's mind was buzzing. There were a dozen thoughts that clamored for his attention, but at the very top was one that he could not deny.
I do not want to lose this.
Last night, he had told himself that he wanted this for a short time, both to protect her and to make sure that his life stayed free of complications. Now, in the light of morning, after a bout of passion that he couldn't even believe, things looked a little different.
He couldn't marry her. When he married, it would be for position and power, to someone who would carry out his name and legacy with a full understanding of what history and tradition had come before. There was no foreigner who could understand that.
No, marriage was off the table, but perhaps...perhaps other things weren't. There might be years yet before he had to get married, and there could be so much pleasure, so much fun...so much passion.
Jahin didn't think of himself as a passionate man, not really. He did his duty, and he had his fun when he was able to do so, but at the end of the day, he did what was required of him.
For the first time, Bedelia was making him question all of that. She made him feel as if he was flying, as if everything was brighter, more beautiful. He didn't want to let that go. He couldn't.
That was why it was such a surprise and an unpleasant shock when she turned to him brightly at breakfast, a sweet smile on her face, and said, “I think, when it comes to one-night stands, that we've had the best one in the world.”
Jahin had to do a double-take and look at her closely. At first, he thought she must b
e joking, but under her smile, he could see she was perfectly serious.
“One night stand?”
“Of course,” she said, tilting her head. “Um, is that not a term you know? It means...”
“I know what it means,” he said, more snappish than he would have liked. “I just want to know what the hell you mean by it.”
She looked taken aback by his sharpness, casting around her for a moment.
“I mean...last night was amazing and wonderful, and I do not think I could have asked for anyone better when it came to my first time,” she said cautiously. “I just...I just know that we're really not made for the long-haul, that's all, and um, that's fine.”
It didn't matter how gentle her words were. There was still something about them that stabbed him straight through the heart. How could the girl who had sighed in his arms last night, who had clung to him this morning, speak so baldly of their passion, as if it was nothing more meaningful than a coffee date?
“I did not know that's how you felt about things,” he said, frowning.
She shrugged, looking down at the food in front of her. He had ordered them up a bag of breakfast pastries, something that had delighted her when she saw them.
“Practically, I think that's how we have to feel about things,” she said. “I...I wasn't joking when I told you about what I want. The fairytale, the romance, all of that. If we keep this up...well, I think that will go badly for both of us. Or at least for me.”
She slid him a grin that was only slightly crooked. “I don't think you can really fault me for wanting to protect myself, can you?”
He couldn't, but his mind was working furiously. There were words that were on the tip of his tongue...about how he had never known the kind of passion she had given him, how they had something special that should not be denied. But he pushed them away. She would think they were manipulations, or worse, perhaps she would think they were sincere but mock him for them. He did not think he could bear that.
Sheikh's Virgin Love-Slave Page 16