by Donovan Neal
“What is wrong with you?” asked an angel.
I had never thought that I was different, never until someone pointed it out to me.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Why is your stone broken?” the angel replied.
I reached my hand into my robes and pulled my sigil stone from my chest for inspection. It felt fractured, even coarse in some parts, yet there was a clear delineation of smoothness to half of it. A quarter of the stone was missing, but it was clear that two halves of the stone were stitched together. I looked down to see the gouged hollow absent from the whole. My Heartstone warmed my hand as it pulsated in my palm. The ginger-colored stone shimmered with a crystal glint; it had firmness and heft to it. The outer skin of my heart rose and fell. Something moved within that strained to get out of the stone. Smoke and ash floated from it, and it crackled with a sizzling sound. It gave off an aroma akin to burnt charcoal.
My self-inspection showed that nothing seemed amiss.
“I do not know,” I said. “It has been this way since my creation. What’s wrong with it?”
“Your stone is broken,” the angel said. “Something is wrong with you.”
Your stone is broken. Something is wrong with you: that is all he ever said. It's funny as I think back, but I never did get that angels name.
“Apollyon are you ready?”
Perhaps now after all this time I will gain the respect I have always wanted.
“Apollyon, stop day dreaming. Are you ready?” Saesheal said.
“Yes, my friend. You fuss over me like I am going to forget!”
Saesheal laughed, “No — I fuss over you because you do forget!”
I laughed because I knew Saesheal was right. He was the first to take any interest in me: my truest friend. He has always been so protective, and I had to admit I enjoyed how he doted over me.
“Leave him alone. You can mock about someone else’s stone when you acquire the power to create one yourself. If El does not worry, then neither should you.” The angel scowled and walked away. I turned to my benefactor and looked upon the smaller Arelim who had come to advocate for me.
“My name is Saesheal,” he said. “We will be serving together in the Sol system. What is your name?”
“Apollyon,” I replied. “El has titled me Son of the Dawn.”
“Truly?” Saesheal said. “Impressive––that name is similar to Lucifer’s. It is my pleasure to meet you. My quarters are not far from here. Care to get a bite before training?”
“That would be nice. Thank you,” I said.
“By the way, I happen to think your stone makes you unique. It has an orange color to it.”
I tried my best not to roll my eyes. I hated orange.
“Thanks,” I replied.
How ironic, that after all this time, I find myself now bathed in the orange glow of this star. Saesheal interrupted my daydreaming.
“I always knew that you looked good in orange Apollyon.” Saesheal teased. “You are now Archon of Sol, I am proud of you.”
I positioned myself in the center of the sun and reveled in the blanket of its warm embrace: its flames soothed tendons and muscle. I was now officially the Archon of Sol. I could feel my jaw widen with the grin that I knew stretched across my face.
Archon: I liked the sound of that. My assignment as archangel over El’s prized star would give me great prominence among my people. Perhaps now, I might command respect and no more be called, "broken stone."
I looked at Saesheal, who smiled at me, and remembered the angels of times past who sneered at my difference. “Shhhh, here he comes," laughed an angel.
I winced as I thought back on the memory. I suppose they never did truly care if I heard them or not. Ashtaroth was always quick to remind me of my difference with his constant and grinding ridicule of me. I had resigned myself that I would best him in seeking title as Archon of this star.
“Eh, pay him no mind Apollyon,” said Saesheal. “There is something to be said about being different from everyone else. It sets you apart. You would do well to consult with Lucifer. He might aid thee to understand how one so different might abide. No one understands this more than the First of Angels.”
“Perhaps I will,” I said.
Lucifer always supported me. He made sure I had the best training and took a personal interest in me. I knew he saw how others treated me. He was quick to rebuke when anything occurred and swift to offer me words of encouragement I was grateful for his mentoring. I appreciated the kindness he and Saesheal showed me.
“Bear Ashtaroth no mind, my friend, as he too covets to be Archon of Sol,” said Lucifer. “He has petitioned Master Breagun for the role. I suspect he desires to impress me by overseeing the sun, which warms my own charge. I believe his behavior towards you is but his way to show his own desire for thy status,” said Lucifer. “I will talk to him. He is rife with possessiveness whenever I speak of another angel in fondness or admiration.”
“Am I to understand that you admire me then Chief Prince?” I asked.
Lucifer smiled. “I have come to see how similar we are, my friend. I would see such potential cultivated and steered. You are the ‘Son of the Dawn’. I would see you shine.”
I paused from my past reflections and waved to Saesheal as I bathed within the fires of this orb of gas and flame, but nothing warmed me more than the smile that beamed back approvingly from my friend. I no longer could afford such lapses in thought as I slowly assumed control of the star.
“Saesheal, we both know that orange is not my color. And you, dear sir, well, let’s just say I can’t wait to see you in grey.”
Saesheal chuckled at me. “Let me enjoy this moment I can’t help it if you look silly in orange.”
“Oh so after so many days together, the truth comes out! I knew I looked funny in orange!” Saesheal snickered and covered his mouth to hold back the laugh he was attempting to squelch. He did well at first, but as I gave him the eye, the reflex was finally too much to control, and he burst out in laughter and revealed what we both knew to be true.
“Ok, ok––you do look funny!”
“Humph, laugh as you will. I am sure your assignment to administer the moon will give me much amusement. That is just rock. Nothing to control or watch over there.”
“I beg to differ,” said Saesheal. “If Luna wavers in orbit, the tides of Earth, the continents themselves will shred. It is a vital role. Besides, I had requested to be near my friend.”
“Well, you are welcome company indeed. I still remember what Master Breagun drummed into my head. 'Celestial oversight of planets stars and other phenomena could be for some Elohim extremely lonely. Mind your thoughts for your concentration must forever be attentive to maintain El’s laws. El has flung into motion all things, and we must not allow even one word to fall!'” I said in my best mimic of his barking voice.
Saesheal laughed. “You do a remarkably good imitation of Master Breagun. However, he is right, and that is the exact reason why I am here. To keep that straying mind of yours focused on the task.”
I knew he was right.
Every aspect of creation had an overseer, and nothing was made without an Elohim to administer it. El had dispatched untold Elohim to the four corners of the universe to watch over his creation, to keep it, and to govern every orbit and every shift of climate on all worlds.
I was glad to be here with my friend, both of us chief administrators of the sun and moon. I enjoyed my service to El and felt privileged to bring warmth to His prized possession.
I had studied and prepared myself, isolated for time to accustom myself to the solitude and quietness as Archon of this star. Learning to hone and focus my thoughts on the Elomic commands needed to fuel this star's flame. Now positioned within Sol’s core, my mind expanded as it trained to control every nuance of Sol’s temperature, contraction, and the processing of its fuel. I was ready to begin my work.
I surveyed the length and breadth of this new solar system. Ther
e was beauty in the quietness. My eyes darted across each celestial body, each administered by an angel with specific instructions.
There was a third body to which I was ever to be mindful, a fragile speck from my vantage point, but lush and teeming with life. El had a great interest in His mote.
I looked also upon the fourth planet and gazed upon it. It seemed similar to Earth in its ability to hold life.
I wondered––
I exercised my will, now trained to manipulate stars. I flexed my twelve wings, and my Heartstone glowed and pulsated.
Hmm––a slight adjustment here…
The ball of stellar fire and gas bowed in submission as hydrogen and helium harnessed Sol’s power of fusion and complied with my whim. I reveled and basked giddily in my newfound supremacy. I watched from afar, as Saesheal settled in Luna’s core, and I was happy.
While my attention focused on this mere indulgence of joy, in my momentary drift of concentration, Sol's energies flashed before my eyes, and the giant's fury reached out towards the fourth planet. Then the fiery outstretched hand of Sol raced away from me into the black.
A long tendril of the newly formed star stretched forth into the vastness of space, and its spark and heat dashed off to fulfill my will. My heart beat faster, and panic quickly engulfed me. Sol reacted violently to such emotion and glowed to the notice of Saesheal.
Saesheal’s eyes opened wide with astonishment, and his jaw dropped. He looked at me frowning and with apprehension in his face.
“Apollyon, calm yourself…what have you done?”
“I think I misjudged the degree to which the temperature must be the controlled!”
“Well, get it under control!” he screamed back. “We cannot fail!”
The heated cord sprinted its way into the blackness, and both of our eyes turned to trace its projected destination. Realization and panic gripped us as we saw the blue speck, Earth laid directly in its destructive path. Saesheal voiced the dread that now lay in both our thoughts.
“In El’s name, no,” he cried.
Suddenly Saesheal launched himself in pursuit of the flaming tendril.
“Saesheal, what are you doing? You are spirit; you cannot stop it!”
He looked back towards me, and I could see his forehead tense as he pondered the gravity of the situation.
“I can if I become flesh,” he cried back.
Flesh? I thought.
The flare was part of the physical realm, and although it presented no mortal danger to Saesheal as spirit, I knew that the fragile blue world created by El was in imminent danger of ruin.
Faster and faster, he flew as I watched him close in on the blaze. I sensed that my friend might actually be in danger.
Apprehension began to flood my soul, and I could feel movement within my Heartstone. I felt Sol leap in response ready to unleash further destruction. I fought to smother my anxiety. I could afford no further loss of control. I could sense my training reasserting itself, and the sun settled in its churning.
Oh maker of all––El hear my cry. We need you to intervene.
Closer the strand of solar energy reached to grasp the planet for annihilation. Quickly Saesheal’s wings carried him, now propelled by the power of the living God. Soon he overtook and distanced himself from the flare and hurriedly flew around the planet. He paused and posted himself as a defense: a living barrier between the Earth and the power of the new sun's fury.
He frowned and with a look of determination, spread wide his angelic wings, inhaled, and I watched his lips mouth the Elomic command necessary to draw upon the power of his spirit. Intuition informed me that I was watching my friend's last moments, and my countenance fell.
“Kodor en-chi El-khan El-khan”
Repeatedly he pronounced each word, and with every breath, the flare coursed nearer to embrace him in its destructive hold.
El’s power emanated and crackled around Saesheal, and a visible bluish white light enveloped him. Wave after wave rippled from his body, and soon he rivaled the brightness of the flare itself.
I stared in horror unable to move, helpless to render aid unless I was relieved of the responsibility to watch Sol. I could not risk leaving to assist my friend, or the sun would flare even further.
An indescribable ache washed over me like a wave. A woe. My belly hurt as if I had been pummeled in the gut. Sol responded in kind, and its core slowed and darkened. I struggled to hold back a tear that I might keep the sun in check. I then pleaded aloud my lament to my creator.
“Oh, God of all, where art thou?”
********************
Saesheal looked into the sun to see Apollyon overwhelmed with emotion: anxiety, mixed with frustration and birthed out of a womb of helplessness to act. Saesheal longed to be with his friend.
He was afraid for Apollyon, afraid that the shackled passions he knew beat within his troubled heart would one day erupt. Lucifer had asked him many days ago to watch him when he himself could not. Saesheal grinned as he remembered that befriending Apollyon was an assignment he initially did not care for. For Apollyon’s stone was broken, and like the rest of Heaven, Saesheal wanted no part of him. However, he grew to care for the Arelim, and they had become the best of friends.
Saesheal could say he had honestly come to love him. He always wondered why Lucifer assigned him to watch him. Was not Apollyon’s own Grigori enough?
“Who am I to be a Watcher?” he asked his Lord.
Lucifer’s reply was ominous, “His Heartstone is an abscess of pain waiting to rupture. I fear what lies within. We must not let Apollyon succumb to emotions of despair and anguish, or it shall be to the ruin of us all. Guard his heart with all diligence, for out of it proceeds the issues of life,” he had said.
Saesheal looked into the distance and saw that Apollyon’s eyes fixated on him. As a slave fastened and bound, he stood chained, helpless to do nothing but watch the actions of his friend, and Saesheal knew him well enough to know that fear coiled itself around his friend.
Who would watch after him now? He wondered.
Saesheal smiled at Apollyon and whispered to himself, “Be strong, my friend. I have faith in you. Do not give in to despair.”
Saesheal turned from Apollyon’s eyes and launched himself into the flare's course, his body outstretched, head down, and wings tucked dense against his frame. His trajectory designed to place himself squarely in the lane of the flare's fury.
Closer they marched toward one other, an irresistible force against an immovable object. Saesheal closed his eyes and mouthed the oath of all his kind.
“Thy will be done.”
The decision to transform had arrived: to fulfill the will of El or to allow His grandest creation to sink into ruin. But for Saesheal, there was no second-guessing, or need for reassessment. With a thought, Saesheal became a powerful, physical being of flesh and blood.
With gritted teeth and clenched fists, Saesheal collided with the deadly mass of heat and flame, absorbing the kinetic power of gas projected at the speed of light. Saesheal’s wings unfurled to soak up as much energy as possible. Flesh burned and clothing cindered Saesheal’s body now a shield to deflect the fury of the newborn sun. Then he turned limp and plummeted to the Earth below.
Apollyon searched for movement in Saesheal’s fall, looking for any sign that he might recover from the descent that hurtled his flaming body into Earth's atmosphere.
Apollyon’s hope failed him as he watched to see that when spiritual flesh is altered and meets the might of the celestial realm that only mortality is birthed.
Light exploded and encroached on the blackness of space that blanketed the Earth. The collision created a shock wave that smote the planet’s atmosphere and irradiated the sphere. Wave after wave of light burst across the night sky: a cacophony of greens, yellows, and purples entertained the now alerted and curious Elohim who attended to their various tasks below. Polar ice caps melted, and seas rose in response. Angels hurried to control
the ensuing chaos that raged beneath them, and for a moment, all beheld two great suns in the sky.
Apollyon observed the charred and scorched shell that was once his friend. He wanted to cry out, to scream, yet he could not. Concentration on the sun had to be absolute, but his eyes shed a tear as he watched Saesheal grimace. Apollyon could only imagine the pain that flooded the body of his friend, falling into the blue sky of the planet below.
As quickly as the scene began, it came to an end: and from the midst of the crackling flames which surrounded him Apollyon heard Saesheal’s scream break through the silence of space and he watched as his friend plummeted into Earth’s atmosphere.
********************
“GGGAAAHHH!" screamed Saesheal.
Lord and Master preserve me!
The consciousness of El suddenly filled Saesheal, and peace flooded his soul. Time slowed to a crawl while the Almighty spoke to Saesheal’s quickly disintegrating mind.
“Go thou thy way till the end be, for thou shalt rest, and stand in thy lot at the end of days. Be not afraid, for thine journey is not yet complete.”
When the Lord had finished speaking, Saesheal loosed himself from the tether of his life. His spirit emptied from his body, which became as a flailing husk plummeting to the ground.
Drained of the power of El, Saesheal’s lifeless body penetrated the atmosphere. Earth’s troposphere welcomed the fiery ember that breached its clouded walls of oxygen and carbon dioxide. Saesheal’s body then woke the stratosphere from its rest. Sonic booms disturbed the once previously tranquil blue sky. The friction of powerful but frayed angelic wings created commotion upon the planet's new aerial inhabitants. Thunderclaps from his fall sprinted as a jaguar across the lower levels of the sky, and dark smoke and lightning trailed his descent.
Saesheal’s body fell on the newly formed land below, and rock and earth heaved to make way. Trees flung themselves aside like discarded kindle and snapped trunks screamed in creaking disapproval. The ground itself cried out with the explosive sound of fire and shrieked its objection to the violent intrusion. A "mighty one" had fallen, and Saesheal’s body autographed itself with fire in the earth.