by Donovan Neal
Malakim: Sigil: Winged Feet
The angelic order of house Malakim are the messengers of God. If the Grigori are the eyes, the Malakim are its nerves. They constantly move to and fro throughout the realm delivering messages from various groups and ministers to one another. Like the Grigori in their numbers, they are similar in that they keep Heaven's communication lines open.
The Malakim ride steeds called gryphons. Each angel has a steed that is actually obtained when they acquire their first assignment from their Prince. Only the Chief Prince, the Grigori, and the House are aware of the celestial home of the Gryphons. Able to move at incredible speeds, they are the fastest of all angelic kind. Gabriel, who is their leader, is the fastest and wisest. It is rumored that his speed rivals that of the Ophanim.
This has yet to be tested. All Malakim have wings on their feet and not on their shoulders as others of their kind. Malakim actually run, but their speed is so fast that they appear to fly. Malakim can also manipulate lightning.
Articles of War
When El exiled the Horde to the nether, He then placed within the Kilnstones of all angelic kind His law that restricts the actions of our people. The following is understood by all Elohim concerning Elomic intervention in the affairs of men:
1. All souls are the Lords.
2. There shall be no interbreeding between species.
3. Humans shall not be brought into knowledge of your presence except through prayer or by voluntary submission to sin or by permission from El.
4. Agents of Lucifer may influence to their own ends human activity that humans, have submitted themselves to, or through affairs of those who possess spiritual authority have yielded themselves to.
5. Members of the Host will not invoke the powers of the enemy nor seek to derive and use powers apart from El's design. Doing so will constitute a rebellion and those who do so will be marked as members of the Horde.
6. The ruling powers over a household, region or power will be held responsible for all those under their charge.
7. Any officer who shall presume to muster a human as a soldier (who is not a soldier) shall be deemed guilty of having made a false muster and shall suffer accordingly.
The Shaun-tea'll will monitor the terms of these articles among both host and horde and shall have the power to imprison within Tartarus all who break them.
Apocalypse of Kings
Chapter One
Anno Domini
High atop the mountain of God Argoth stood alone upon the roof of the Hall of Annals. He stared at the star filled sky and watched from his secluded perch his people as they roamed throughout the cosmos. Like past High Priests of Israel, he sanctum’d alone. Privy to see what few in creation could behold. A realm unseen even to the sight of angels. A realm occupied by beings who without eyes dutifully recorded all that transpired around them. Each documenting the doings of all created beings that a written account may one day be given to God.
Argoth eyed the tome El had commissioned so long ago. A volume that was finite in its pages. Pages that were added as each Grigori penned all that they witnessed. A tome that would one day be opened and read back to the hearers. An objective chronicle of the acts of all things. Argoth shuddered knowing that many would not desire to see their works rehearsed before the eyes of God and the Host. For the Chief of Eyes understood that one day the works of all beings would be revealed. And on that day the great prophecy would be fulfilled that there was nothing hidden that would be not be made known. Nothing concealed that would not be unveiled. A prophecy—and a warning El had given when creation was young.
Argoth walked towards the altar that he had made to commemorate his becoming Chief of Eyes. He reached the five foot pedestal where his physical eyes laid in hovering memorial of his oath towards God. His plucked eyes stared back at him. Floating reminders and suspended in front of him as he himself hovered in their presence. Here the prince of all Grigori recalled his appointment by God to be the head of his people.
Few knew the cost one must pay to see with the eyes of God—to be Sephiroth. Or the unspoken pain he constantly suffered. The mild ache that nestled behind the glowing slits that were now his eyes. The perpetual irritating gnawing from knowing that some would die, and others would live. His created mind was continuously stretched in ever painful new limits in an attempt to comprehend the smallest jot of what El beheld. To be privy see how all possibilities must end was a daunting thing and the weight of such knowledge assailed him continuously. It was a consuming thing that would drive anyone not graced by God mad. So Argoth frequently sequestered himself away from his brethren. Secluded himself that he might “close” his eyes, and for a moment; unburden himself. To no more feign his unspoken pain before his brethren. A pain he endured dutifully that he might behold but a fraction of the what the Almighty sees.
The migraines were constant and the throbbing often unbearable. The severed optical nerves still fired in attempts to see with the eyes of flesh behind his still existent eyelids. Angelic nerves once connected to the now floating eyes set atop a pedestal. Yet Argoth tolerated the gnawing ache and endured the scars from his plucked eyes that he knew would never heal. One day he would not need this sight. For as El had promised all would be revealed. His eyes would then be restored no longer held in constant captivity to the will of God for him to see what all Grigori see. For the burning and itching reminded him of the constant offense God’s holiness endured from man’s disobedience. Yeah Argoth’s eyes saw what few could see — Creation’s continued decay save for the preservative effect of Christ’s blood and resurrection. Only the Sephiroth could see Creation’s groaning. The canker she endured due to Adam’s sin.
The Chief of Eyes floated before his memorial. His place where he would see if God was willing to show him the moments beyond the present into the future. Here he would enter the Trance.
He crossed his legs each foot placed on it’s opposing thigh. He slowed his breathing, and expanded his chest to inhale Heaven’s air. Silently he opened his mind to not just see the present but enter the realm of God’s allowed possibilities.
The stars slowly faded, followed by the vision of his people into black, and all that remained was the movement of galaxy’s and mirrors of universes reflected back at him.
Deeper he moved into a meditative state. Quieting himself to attune further to the mind of God. To quicken himself to the presence of the Almighty who filled all things, past present and future.
His physical eyes which floated on the pedestal opened, and their pupils widened and each eye raced left and right. Each blinked to clear the gloss of the angelic realm narrowing their focus of attention, and straining to see a generation ahead into the future. Eyes that were allowed to follow the path of all futures that El had ordained should exist.
The Shekinah began to emanate over the angel and a crackle of electricity arced over him. Slowly a cloud lowered from Heaven’s sky—singing.
“Will you croon today Argoth?” said the living cloud.
Argoth replied, “Yeah great Nebula. For the sight of the Lord, do I seek.”
The white vapor formed a mouth of froth that moved and replied, “But thine eyes are nigh thee Grigori…with what song do you bring this day that thou may see and strum to the hymn of God?”
Argoth then pretended to grope the air around him. Struggling in feigned attempt to search for his eyes that floated but an arm’s reach before him.
“I am but a worm that grovels to see the light. An envoy blind who beckons that he might see. You who croon, you cover the home of God. If El bids me worthy, open the fog of the future I pray thee; that if El permits: I might see what lies beyond the shroud of Time.”
The cloud then lifted over Argoth and spoke.
“Beware to seek the sight of God Grigori…croon the future at your own risk. But El hast approved thy sight. Therefore, behold the things that will come hereafter.”
The living cloud then moved into Argoth’s mouth and the color
of his plucked eyes changed from yellow to a purplish hue and he violently jerked back and floated, arms extended in the air.
Argoth hovered on his back: was now captive in the Trance. And his mind’s eye beheld the future.
And he saw a dragon standing on the shore of the sea. And a beast coming out of the sea. And the beast had ten horns and seven heads, with ten crowns on its horns, and on each head a blasphemous name. The beast resembled a leopard, but had feet like those of a bear and a mouth like that of a lion. And the dragon was terrible and gave the beast his power, his throne and great authority. And Argoth beheld that one of the heads of the beast seemed to have had a fatal wound, but the fatal wound had been healed.
Argoth continued in his gaze mesmerized as the whole world was filled with wonder and followed after the beast. Adamson worshiped the dragon because he had given authority to the beast, and they also worshiped the beast and asked, “Who is like the beast? Who can wage war against it?”
Astonished Argoth watched as the beast mouthed proud words and blasphemies and exercised authority for forty-two months. Relentlessly it opened its mouth to blaspheme God, and to slander His name and His dwelling place and those who live in Heaven. The Chief of Eyes contorted in convulsing spasms as he watched as power was given to wage war against God’s holy people and to conquer them. And it was given authority over every tribe, people, language and nation. And in Argoth’s horror seemingly all inhabitants of the earth worshiped the beast.
Argoth shook his head in anguish and disbelief jerking in the air. He attempted to stop the marching visions that assaulted his eyes. But he was in the trance and like a puppet his will was momentarily not his own as the visions paraded before him unabated. His eyes were now in sync to the Almighty’s. Eyes that saw what God saw. Eyes that knew that what he witnessed were an inevitability. That God. El—would allow Satan to see his lust come to fruition: the worship of the Dragon throughout the Earth.
Argoth coughed violently hacking up puffs of smoke as the living cloud dislodged from his lungs through his mouth and nostrils and floated away and sung but one word: “Woe.”
And when the cloud removed itself from Argoth’s body, the Grigori fell face first to the ground wheezing and grasping for air.
His translucent robes were filled with stars and his ink horn and stylus hovered around him in elliptical orbits. With each pass, his stylus dipped itself into the floating ink-horn which surrounded him and proceeded to write out all that the Lord had granted him to see in his vision.
“Please El no! Are we to be undone?” He wailed his lament into the starry sky. “Is there no stopping the march of Lucifer’s sin? Is there no other way?”
Yet naught but the blowing of wind and silence echoed in reply.
A knock rapt on the tower roof’s door and Argoth was startled awake from his meditations to El. The Chief of Eyes then wiped his teary face, rose to his feet, and wiped himself of dust.
“You may come up Jerahmeel.”
The head of house Harrada opened the door to the roof of the mountain of God and gazed upon his angelic brother, climbed up the stairs and walked towards him, staring his eyes intent in study of Argoth’s face. For a brief moment he saw the golden book of El, and a crimson ribbon was draped over the book as a seal and the tome began to slowly fade from his view—vanishing back into the realm of Grigoric sight and beyond his own.
Jerahmeel recalled the day when Argoth had eyes like them all, and then the next they were gone: plucked out by God’s own hand. He glanced at the hovering eyes that remained atop the roof of the mountain of God never sure what to make of the spectacle. Jerahmeel alone did Argoth allow to see this level of the Hall of Annals. Jerahmeel alone knew of Argoth's continuous pain. And he kept his brother’s confidence as requested.
Argoth staggered as he stood up, and Jerahmeel let him lean upon him.
“Are you alright?” Jerahmeel asked. “I thought I heard you cry out.”
“Aye,” Argoth replied. His face pointed to the starry sky and staring off into space.
Jerahmeel’s own eyes now narrowed and he looked upon his friend with increasing concern and pressed his interrogation further. “Tell me—what did you see?”
Argoth lowered his gaze to the floor. Sighed then raised his head to stare deep into Jerahmeel's own eyes and replied.
“The last generation of war—for the end of all things has come.”
Jerahmeel eyes narrowed in concern. “Tell me brother…the book that is hidden from my sight when I enter your presence. What is it? I’ve never seen a book on this wise.”
Argoth cocked his head to the side and gazed upon his brother to study him. “It is a tome within a tome of tomes. It is I, and I am it. It is the book of life, and it is the book of El.”
And what does it…what do you contain?
Argoth frowned, “The wrath of the living God. A wrath unlike Hell or Death, but pure, unadulterated destruction: and soon my friend. Very soon I fear. El would have it…have me—be opened.”
Journal Notes for Books 1 and 2
Dec 1, 2007
Journal thoughts
Today I took the family to Ihop had a good time. Today’s my son’s birthday. Plan on taking him to GameStop later, and possibly out shopping for a suit.
Was thinking about something I read yesterday while at the book store. A book about writing novels talked about the review process, and mentioned that at some point put the manuscript down for 6 weeks before you review it again. I find that there is impatience with me in doing that. I want to work on it until it’s complete. I guess ill have to see what happens as time goes on.
I’ve been thinking about an idea I read in the book. It basically said read the entire novel out loud. Print it out and mark make corrections with pen. See the whole thing laid out. The book also mentioned that just read the dialogue of your characters, then of each character.
It made me wonder if my dialogue for Lucifer for example is consistent. Does he sound the same throughout the book?
I’ve also had thought and am wondering to myself am I really writing about Apollyon as opposed to Lucifer? Lucifer seems to have taken a backstage. He doesn’t seem to be the one moving the story along. I don’t know yet if this is a good or bad thing.
I have been reading D. Swains book; and trying to properly grasp the concept of MRU’s. What he calls motivation reaction units. I hope to keep reading and writing in hopes to perfect the technique. It’s one thing to have a picture in your head a vision that you want to share. It’s another to have the words or a command of the language necessary to explicate it to paper.
His book is deep. He has a command of the English language that I can only hope to achieve.
In answering the question of how do you write vividly? His answer? Use specific and concrete, and definite pictorial nouns to describe action. Instead of saying creature say rhinoceros. Use the girl over using the word female. Etc.
Dec 2 2007
I think I want to make the name of the angel which guards the entrance to Hell have chains dangle from his arms. His name shall mean “Chain of God.”
Another name I discovered was Cadfael it’s welsh for War chieftain.
I’ve wondered did I make the relationship between Lucifer and Michael “deep” enough. I want the reader to feel torn over Lucifer’s decision. To have him emotionally feel that God is wrong. To sympathize with him. To see things from Lucifer’s perspective. I want the reader to see these two characters as brothers. That are torn to oppose one another. Like families torn in the American civil war. They take sides. Firmly in belief that they are right. (I don’t think that I’ve established the familial setting yet. (Maybe do a flashback within the story again of Lucifer and Michael. Have Michael or Lucifer drag up a memory of an earlier time when they laughed together.) Lucifer’s language should sound regal yet is should sound tender with his brother. How do I convey this tenderness?
I wonder…as I drag Apollyon off to be judged. I wonder
has there been anyone else like that in the bible. What will be his charges? Maybe I should lay out a trial in heaven? Who would testify? What would be the evidence?
Where is Apollyon when Hell is made for him?
Hell is a hole in the ground? Guarded as it were by a man who watches over a man cover.
How do I deal with language in my book? How do I use words to describe things that prior to this time did not exist? How does the bible handle it?
OK I think I’m going to change the story and make the bottomless pit of the abyss for Apollyon. It’s a valley or the edge of heaven. Maybe I’ll still have him confined to Hell.
Oh so far I’m at 26, 092 words. I think at the rate of what I’m going the novel will be in the 78-90k word mark we’ll see.
Angels can be angry because they might think that El’s punishment of Apollyon wasn’t enough. If God cant keep them safe. How can He govern? This line of thinking helps some to come to Lucifer’s cause. This disgruntlement fuels Heavens rebellion.
There is a checklist I was thinking about making to help me in the revision process.
Ghost readers:
Is the entire manuscript in 3rd person? (Except for dialogue exchanges)
Change the POV from 3rd person to first and see what happens?
Are all your nouns specific and not vague (i.e. creature vs. cat)
Cut and paste all the dialogue and sort it for each character. Does their voice sound consistent?
Are there any problems with logic or reality in the story?
Are all your scenes in MRU’s?
To test the significance of an element, ask: Why this place and not another? Why this name and not another? Why this action, this speech, and not others--or none at all?
Is your verb tense consistent (it should be past tense)
Is your grammar correct? (Check your subject verb predicates i.e. sentence structure)