by Donovan Neal
Talus and Sariel only stop fighting only when they see Apollyon in the distance and realized they have been duped. As he kills both of their species. Sariel gives his life at the hand of Abaddon for his brother while protecting Talus. Talus is almost defeated when Charon arrives.
Dec 7, 2007
Had an idea. What if Raphael coordinates form the temple and Lilith from the archives. And Raphael assigns a watcher to watch Lilith! That will answer the question “who watches the watcher from a conversation he and Lilith had earlier. It keeps Raphael in a position where he’s doing research trying to see how heavens forces are being undermined. The sheanteal can be released towards the end of the war to apprehend Lilith.
Lucifer follows Charon’s footprints still fresh to where Apollyon is within hell. That’s how he can find his way to him.
Make a Jerahmeel like some old rugged cop. Raphael is more like the young researcher. Pair these two together to find why their intelligence is compromised and why they can’t summon help from earth.
Make Jerahmeel anxious to go out and kick some butt, but he’s stuck helping Raphael...looking through tomes.
Add Jerahmeel to dialogue and give him some old crow kind of humor. Have him “complain” because no body works fast enough anymore and all the bureaucracy.
“I’m telling you when I was younger…like remember that first day? We had a different work ethic back then.
“Uh Jerahmeel that was a day ago.”
And that’s why! I tell this generation of angels Is just spoiled! I mean we were making light! You know how hard it is to do that without a sun?” Youth today I tell give them some west wind or to be in charge of something and they think they’ve done something special. We didn’t have all these fancy planets back then. Just spoiled I tell you.
Think of Jerahmeel like Grumpy from Snow white. Lovable. But man he’s just never satisfied.
“Uh Jer…we are the same age.”
“Oh…you must’ve gotten commissioned when darkness was created or something cause if you were commissioned when there was light this wouldn’t be a problem.”
“I give up.”
“Would you like him stop?”
“Please?”
“Then just keep quiet he’ll stop on his own”
Here’s a line to add when Talus and Sariel are about to come to blows…
“I say let em go at it.” Maybe they will knock some sense into each other.
What if Lucifer repeated these words to Michael?
“This too shall pass. Just listen and it will go quicker.”
Dec 9, 2007
Today I decided to do some writing. Spent a lot of time today formatting my book properly. So now all the paragraphs are properly placed throughout. I did some editing on chapter one some. I’ll make it a point to do that with the other chapters prior to submitting them out. Ill have to make sure they are all in 3rd person.
I’m a little nervous. My laptop keeps shutting down on me. I’ve saved my work so I’m not too concerned about losing anything. Its just it would be a huge blow if I lost my laptop. Preliminary indications tell me I might have a motherboard issue. Not really sure. Just going to keep going till the thing dies. And keep backing up daily.
I’m into the scene now where Lucifer is talking to God about Apollyon. I got “inspired” I think. I say that because I “acquired” a concept of Hell that I never had before. Can’t really say its biblical. But basically I made hell as an expression of God’s love. It is a home designed for those who want to be apart from him. Not just a place of punishment. I’ve never seen Hell as an act of mercy. I’m hoping to use the dialogue between Lucifer and God as an indication as to a justification used by him about why he did what he did.
I dunno…kind of feel under attack. My heads been hurting all day. Been getting “pressure” in my chest. I really need to go to the doctor I suppose and be checked out. Also need some new glasses. These tension headaches can be a pain. They only go away when I go to sleep. Can’t get much work done then. Lord willing I hope to finish. I pray for the finishing anointing needed to see this through.
So far today I’m at word count of …31,525 and increase of 1427 words since last count!
Oh I also answered the question of why angels can’t be redeemed! Imagine that!
Dec 10 2007
31626 words and counting. It’s 9:57am. Having an ok morning. Having Flashbacks of my past. Distracting but dealing with it. I did have a thought this morning of how much I could expect to get done on my writing in 100 days. For example if I wrote 200 words a day. From now till let’s say march 10. 90 days times 200 =18, 000 words. Which as of today would 49,626. Have to admit that’s not a good amount to me. I think I can do better. That would probably place me at just over half the books mid-section. I just figured out I would need to write about 590 words a day to get to 90k by March 10th. LOL….well here’s goes nothing eh?
I picked up this great quote today while taking a break to eat.
"No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader." - Robert Frost
Ok colors
Blue
Purple
Scarlet
Dec 11, 2007
It’s 3:21am. Woke up didn’t even look at the clock and kinda figured it was 3ish. Turned over and it was 3am. Weird huh?
I hear Amber on her way down stairs to see about me..lol (She’s my cat)
Ok I’m at 33, 991 words. That’s 2, 365 words. Wow I was a machine yesterday! Learned some tips on how to finish. But some stuff I learned I already knew. Website with great information I found yesterday was ...
http://hollylisle.com/fm/Articles/wc2-3.html
It’s a great site with lots of good information for writes gave me some good advice as to when I need to look for agents. Maybe about a month prior I might find an agent. But I can see myself finishing. I just have to keep swimming.
Well last night before going to bed I came up with several ideas that I want to incorporate that will help me with the book.
Make a graph showing the highs and lows of the level of suspense in the book. (I.e. find a way to quantify it and graph it) This will give me a visual idea of how I’m doing in taking my reader for a roller coaster ride and what I’m doing to set up scenes and stuff.
Have Lucifer challenge Michael more by having him ask Michael if he plans to supplant him as Chief Prince. I’m hoping that this might have the effect of making Lucifer seem paranoid, add some suspense and tension, and make him seem maybe less passive
I realized I need to bring Raphael’s search of the records into the story more. I began the search early in chapter but haven’t addressed it at all. I need to show something that shows his progress I’m thinking I need to place this scene in chapter three. I can specifically have him discover the dialogue between Lucifer and Apollyon, and him noting that Lucifer failed to give Apollyon El’s entire word. Show in Raphael’s report the word El had given that Lucifer didn’t give. I’m hoping that this will also create a sense of impending suspense. And forces me to ask several questions. Why wouldn’t Lucifer want Apollyon to know? What motivation would compel Lucifer to rescue Apollyon (he thinks it’s his fault maybe: that if he had given him the entire word this wouldn’t have happened) Also when Lucifer first initially receives the word from God make it aware to all the Elohim but not the reader. And have Lucifer react in disbelief Like Peter did when Jesus said he’d deny him three times.)
Do I need to add the bloodhound element to Charon and Lucifer’s confrontation?
Is Lucifer doing enough action or is he being acted upon in chapters 2-3?
Lucifer is a plotter. He searches for weaknesses and then attacks. He is a schemer and master strategist. He’s watched God enough to think long term.
Have Lucifer eye the adulation of the crowds as they praise him but hate it when El comes and the crowd goes crazy w/crazy praise.
Have Lucifer complain about the praise. But
the Lord tells him that if they were to stop the rocks would cry out. Have him question this. Would they cry out now...but if they knew that thou proposed to elevate this man over them would they really? Do they submit to you out of force? Fearful of imprisonment like Apollyon. Is God a dictator? Slowly Lucifer sees himself in a better light than he sees God himself.
I think a lot of these ideas a great! I can’t wait to incorporate them. I realize I need a lil notebook to put by my bed so I can write this stuff down: one by my bed and one in my car.
This is a line I picked p from the word I think might be cool to implant.
Beat your plowshares into swords, and your pruning hooks into spears: let the weak say, I am strong
I’m wondering if during the procession if I’m taking too long to describe things and not enough time to propel the story forward? I wonder what would happen if I sped things up?
Oh as of right now (10pm) I have 34,822 words. Almost a thousand words from where I was this morning.
OMG! I think I wrote one of the most beautiful scenes in my book. Totally just creatively inspired to write it the way I did. And man did it set things up to make Lucifer looks sooo prideful and selfish. Ok yeah this is a great big pat on the back. And a great big thank you to the Holy Ghost who had to have quickened this idea in me. I’m at 35, 246!
Dec 12, 2007
Ok I stayed up till about 1:30am last night writing. As stated above I wrote a scene I think was great in that it really showed to me the worship of heaven and the difference between Lucifer and Michael. I went to bed having written 36, 109 words!. Wow! I wrote a whopping 2118 words yesterday. I think that’s the most since I’ve been keeping track!. Rather proud of myself but I suppose I don’t want to get too giddy. Heck the books not finished and I’ve a long ways to go. I’m on scene 43 out of 110. After this chapter is done I should be at the halfway point of my book.
Dec 13 2007
Word count is 36720 to start the day off. Was talking to a family member earlier about my book and the possibility that as a first time author I might not get it published through a traditional publisher. Man I really would like to see if in the stores. But I realize this might be a creative endeavor just for me and close ones right now, time will tell. I just hope that my writing is such that those within the Christian community might want. Kind of wishing I was at work working and making some money. Spend a good part of the morning downloading and playing with this new program I found on the net. It’s a nice lil program. Figured I better put some thoughts down on here to get myself rolling. This book won’t finish itself. I’m learning one thing, writing a book is a lesson in perseverance. I can see why people don’t finish. It’s lonely. Easy (at least in my case) to get distracted. Well let me get going and put some words down on paper.
Ok I’m at the point where God has made Adam and Eve. Didn’t do much writing today. More revising and putting stuff in proper pov. It’s almost 11pm though and I’m at 37524
Not bad 574 words is not bad at all. Some days you write a lot. Other days you don’t.
Dec 14 2007
This morning I woke up at 3:33am.
Went downstairs to do devotion and pray. I had a wonderful time in the Lord. He taught me so much about him. And a lot about myself. Mainly how I had allowed myself to become withered by not abiding in him. That I have been trying to do things in my own strength. That I was trying to accomplish things that were not in my power or in me to accomplish. That to receive the strength of Christ I must submit my weaknesses to him in prayer that he might fortify me. As again it’s not possible to do it. That it’s his responsibility to bear fruit. It’s my responsibility to abide and to draw/drink from his well. The fruit will come on its own, and it won’t even be my fruit when it does it will be his. It’s a powerful truth, and one I hope I never forget.
I needed that devotion time badly. I feel a part of me has been cleansed. After devotion I checked my email and found out that I hadn’t gotten the job I applied for. I wrote back thanking them for considering me but I was bummed. I was sad and I cried. It’s almost Christmas and I have no real money to spend on the kids or family or others. I cried because I felt that I wasted time (two weeks waiting to hear something from them and they did not contact me to tell me they had offered it to another.) I cried because I don’t have a job. And it’s hard on us as a family and on my self-esteem.
I cried in private. And then put into practice what I had just learned. I asked god to give his faith, hope and perseverance. That mine wasn’t good enough or enough in quantity and that I looked to him to supply us. I asked God for a sign asking if I should request assistance from the church. I already feel bad because I literally owe the church money. But I am willing to do whatever the Lord tells me to do. I just want to know it’s him telling me to do it.
So now I feel better after my cry. I just started crying. I couldn’t help it. I’m trusting in the Lord to provide and make a way.
I don’t know what I am to take away yet from this whole experience. I want to learn what I am to learn from it.
I got my unemployment check yesterday and I have 6 weeks left. That’s 1.5 months left. Or put another way my last check will be on Jan 24th 2008.
I think now that I have so little time left before my checks stop coming I’ll have to change up on what I’m doing. I might need to seek out help to help me find a job. Maybe what I’m doing on my own is not enough?
I do feel better that at least I know what’s going on. At least I know that my next step is to go back and look and apply. I have to believe that this position simply was not the one for me. I found a job yesterday with alternative for girls. I plan on applying for that. We’ll see of course what happens. I just want to go where I’m called to go. And abide in my calling. So if you ever read this letter, and see me. Give me a hug. I won’t mind.
Don’t know how much writing I’ll get done today. Need to pay some bills and stuff. We’ll see.
But I thank God that he’s helping me to forget about these things behind by helping me to press on towards the mark of the high calling.
Dec 15th, 2007
I didn’t do any writing yesterday. Dealing with financial bad news. I could have written of course. But with all the things going on, decided to just give it a rest yesterday. So today it is my intent to pick it up today. Got the Christmas fellowship today at 5pm. So I’m looking forward to going and seeing Christopher and Candace do their play.
Ok so that’s what’s been going on and just kind of wanted to give an update on where we are. Now back to book stuff.
First I’ve completed the creation of Adam and the naming of animals and Eve.
God has informed the Elohim that they will assist man in learning how to rule this new domain called earth. Ok so where to take the story from here is the question.
In reading the techniques of the selling writer by Dwight v. Swain; I’ve now wondered do I have enough tension in chapter 4?
I think I was just inspired as to where to place the scene with Raphael speaking with Michael. I could place it before he talks with Lucifer. Or I could place it after. So In chapter 4 we could learn about Lucifer failed to say to Apollyon. But I still think we need something chapter three that preludes to it.
I think I’m going to do the hard work of trying to place it in the story right now. Wish me luck!
37944
Dec 16th 2007
Back to writing. As of right now my word count is 38,008. Didn’t do much writing today and spent the majority of today in church of course of talking with a church friend.
Been spending time going back over chapter one and making sure the tense is past tense and the POV is in 3rd person. I really don’t like the feel. I think its more distant sounding in 3rd person. But I might end up doing a draft all in 2nd person just to see how it feels. As of right now though. I’m finding that I’m a lil sleepy. Gonna try and get some writing done before I tuck in for the night. It’s 10:17pm so ill probably tuck in in about 2
hours or so.
Dec 18 2007
38056 didn’t do any writing yesterday. I’ve had some serious issues with my computer. But I took it apart and sprayed the inside and hopefully that helped. Haven’t had any more issues for the last 24 hours. We’ll see. But I’ve back up my most important files so I’m good if it crashes. I can at least continue. I’m thinking about consistently saving 3 times. Here, the internet and on my flash drive. Then I won’t have these issues. I was pretty scared yesterday. But I’m good now...I got a handle and everything is backed up to the point I can get it again if necessary.
Thank god for that too. I learned a lot the other day about synopsis and how important they are. So that I can expedite time I’ll probably write mine as I’m writing this book. Per one author I’m already late because I should have started that process already.