by HJ Welch
“Robin got into a boat?” Peyton exclaimed.
“But he can’t swim,” Dair and Jay cried in unison.
Ava nodded grimly. “We looked. There are no boats there now.”
“But he said he’d never go out on the lake,” Dair said as if that might change something.
“Let’s go look,” Jay said just as a woman with an iPad approached him.
“Jay, we need you to-”
“Someone else will have to do it, sorry.”
He and Dair weaved past her and the rest of the crowd, leading Emery, Ava, and Peyton through one of the doors of the function suite and outside. Dair’s long legs meant he was the first to march to the end of the jetty. But like Ava had said, there were no boats in sight.
He swallowed and resisted the urge to shout Robin’s name at the top of his lungs. It sounded like Robin had gotten into the boat willingly. Dair would just wait here until they returned. In the meantime, he squinted in the darkness, desperate to catch a glimpse of anything on the water.
But there was nothing. Just the moonlight reflecting off the ripples. Their small rowboat must be lost in the shadows.
“I hope he’s okay.” Peyton chewed her thumbnail as she stood beside Dair, the other three congregating around them. “Mac wouldn’t…do anything, would he? I’ve never met him.”
Dair and the others just hummed and growled.
“Let’s just say, I’ll be much happier when they get back to shore,” Dair said.
Anxiously, the five of them stood at the end of the pier listening for any sign for their wayward friend and brother. Behind them, the music died, and the muffled tones of someone speaking into the mic drifted through the air.
“Come on, Robin. Come back to me,” Dair muttered under his breath.
His guilt for ever doubting Robin was strong. He couldn’t change the past twenty-four hours, though. All he could do was be here for when Robin returned.
And hope it wasn’t too late to win back his heart.
22
ROBIN
EVEN THOUGH ROBIN had a death grip on the side of the boat, he had to admit it was beautiful out on the lake. All he could hear was the gentle lapping of the water against the wood and the steady swish-swoosh of Mac pulling on the oars.
It was calm and peaceful out here. The lights of the country club diminished as they moved further from the shore. The mountains loomed behind Mac, blotting out some of the stars. Robin thought maybe he heard the sound of pine trees rustling across the lake, but that might well just have been his imagination.
He’d held both their Champagne flutes in one hand while Mac had rowed them across the water. They were pretty far out when he stopped, enough that Robin might struggle to point the exact direction they needed to row back in if it wasn’t for the faint glow of the party. But they had only been going for maybe five minutes, so they couldn’t be that far away.
“Wow, this is amazing. I’m glad I suggested it.” Mac let out a breath and looked up at the stars. Robin passed him back his glass, quickly pulling away again so Mac wouldn’t try and cheers. They weren’t there anymore. Mac just happened to be here, steering the boat. Robin was doing this for himself.
And Dair.
Robin nodded, trying to keep his panic low. Everything was fine. In fact, he was fucking proud of himself for facing one of his greatest fears. Wait until he told Jay that he’d been out on the lake he’d avoided his whole life!
Somewhere overhead, an owl hooted. Robin wondered if the speeches had started. He felt kind of bad for ditching them. But he couldn’t even remember who the valedictorian was now, and if he recalled correctly, the prom queen had been a thoroughly unpleasant girl who, rumor had it, had given her competitor food poisoning to snatch the crown.
He wished desperately he could be out here with Dair, but perhaps now he would get a chance to show Dair he’d conquered one of his phobias. Robin would do anything to see that look on Dair’s face again like at the shooting gallery. Knowing he’d impressed his crush was a potent feeling. Even if things were rocky between them right now.
“Are you having fun?” Mac asked.
Robin nodded, then remembered how dark it was. His night vision was improving the longer they were away from the lights of the country club, but it was still damned shadowy.
“Yes, thank you,” he said. “This was a really fun idea.”
“See, we do have fun together, don’t we?”
Uh-oh. Robin should have really thought this through. If Mac wanted to pitch to him about getting back together again, Robin couldn’t exactly walk off. He just hummed in response, hoping Mac would take the hint and let it drop.
Instead, Mac stood up, making the boat lurch and Robin’s heart stutter. But they didn’t tip. Mac was confident as he crossed the space between the front and back of the boat.
There was just enough room for him to sit down next to Robin.
Shit. Should Robin move to the other end? He really didn’t trust himself to stand in the damn boat, though, and he wasn’t about to crawl over there in front of Mac.
So he just gave him a small smile that he knew didn’t reach his eyes and looked out over the lake.
Mac put his arm around Robin’s waist.
Double fucking shit.
“Um, sorry,” he said, shifting his weight. “I didn’t mean to give you the wrong impression. But I’m still sorting things out with Dair. I just thought we were going to look at the stars?”
Mac chuckled. “Fuck Dair. Oh, wait, you already did that.” He grinned.
Shame flared through Robin. He was glad it was dark so his blush wouldn’t be seen on his face. “Mac,” he said in a warning tone. God damn it. He knew he should have gotten out of the boat when he’d had the chance.
Mac hugged him closer and Robin’s heart started to beat faster. “Come on, it’s just us out here in our own little world. No one needs to know anything. I’ve missed you.”
He pressed his lips to Robin’s neck.
Robin jerked so violently he sent his Champagne flute flying into the water with a splash. Knowing that it was now going to sink all the way to the bottom probably never to be seen again made Robin feel physically sick. But he still managed to use the side of the boat to drag himself off the seat.
“Robin! What the fuck?” Mac cried.
Robin scrambled to the other seat and steadied himself enough to sit back down. His heart was hammering with adrenaline.
“I didn’t come out here to make out,” he stammered.
Mac knocked back his own Champagne, then flung the empty glass as far as he could out into the water with a faint plop.
“Why do you keep leading me on? Oh my god, I’m such a fool. Robin, if it’s that guy Dair, don’t tell me you actually think there’s something serious between you? I’m the only one patient enough to put up with your crap.” He sighed and rubbed his face. “Sweetheart, please,” he continued in a softer tone. “You know we make sense. This is so romantic. Don’t ruin it. I’m just trying to create some more special memories for us.”
Robin balled up his fists, cursing himself for trusting Mac to be selfless for once in his life. Of course he had to go and sully this moment of Robin triumphing over one of his biggest fears.
But perhaps he was the selfish one? Maybe he had missed a sign from Mac that this was supposed to be a seduction. He figured if he was out here with Dair, it could have been romantic…
…except he knew for sure that Dair would never pressure him into anything sexual, especially when he was dealing with such a phobia. If Dair was here, he’d hold Robin’s hand and tell him he was so brave.
Not try and jump his bones.
“Mac, I don’t want to create more special memories. I don’t want to get back together.”
“Oh, like you could do any better than me?” Mac scoffed.
Robin flashed him a scathing look, not caring if it was too dark for him to see it. “Yes, actually, I can. I’m done with you always put
ting me down. I’m not perfect, nobody is. But I’m all right. In fact-”
He thought of the way Dair had marveled at his aim at the fair or always complimented him on his technical skills.
The way he’d worshiped him in bed.
“-in fact, I’m actually kind of great. And I want to go back to the party now, please.”
He folded his arms and refused to look at Mac. Instead, he watched the ripples rebounding off the side of the little boat. No matter what, they just kept on going. They were resilient.
Just like Robin had to be.
A splash of water against his skin made him jump and snap his head back around in shock. Mac was shaking droplets from his hand. He’d obviously hit the surface of the lake in temper, sprinkling Robin in the process.
The cold water was nothing to the coldness that rushed through Robin’s body.
Mac looked furious.
“You were nothing without me,” he seethed. “Some little geeky virgin who couldn’t even fuck right. Still can’t, I bet. I made you cool. No one would ever have thought twice about you in that room if it wasn’t for me. I bet they’ve all forgotten about you!”
Robin gripped the side of the boat tightly and pointed back to the faint light of the party. “I don’t give a flying fuck what those people say or don’t say about me, Mac. That was always your insecurity. I care what my family and friends think. And I know they’re going to be livid that I was stupid enough to trust you again. But it’s the last time, I swear to god. Now, row us back to shore right this second, or I’ll do it myself.”
He wasn’t sure he’d be able to make the boat move at all, let alone have enough strength to get them across the lake. But he’d damned well try to get himself out of this situation. Genuine fear was creeping into his heart.
With good reason.
Mac lunged forward, grabbing either side of the boat edges and looming over Robin. “I can’t believe you,” he snarled. “You treat me like shit. This is why no one else will ever want you. You’re a terrible boyfriend, Robin. But it’s okay. I still love you. I’ll make it better.”
He seized Robin by the chin and smushed their faces together for a painful imitation of a kiss.
Robin shoved with everything he had, sending Mac reeling backward and the boat rocking violently from side to side.
Robin gasped several times, gripping onto the sides for dear life and trying not to let his panic overwhelm him. “I don’t want to kiss you, Mac!” he yelled. “I don’t want to have sex with you! I don’t even ever want to see you again after this! Take us back!”
Mac regained his footing and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He glowered down at Robin with an awful smirk on his lips.
“You’re so fucking selfish. It’s always about what you want, isn’t it? What about me? My needs? You owe me, Robin Coal. It about fucking time you paid up.”
He lunged forward, seizing Robin by the lapels of his jacket, trying to drag him closer. Robin screamed and shoved against his hold, doing his best to wriggle free.
“Get OFF me,” he bellowed.
But Mac wrestled him onto his back in the bottom of the boat. Then he dropped on top of him.
Terror like Robin had never known filled his heart. What exactly did Mac intend to do?
Robin had no intention of finding out.
He scratched at Mac’s face, making him scream. Robin slapped and pushed at his chest, forcing him up enough that Robin could scramble loose.
“Back the fuck off, Mac!” he yelled.
He realized with a thrill that under one of the seats, among some dried pine needles and old candy bar wrappers, there was a large flashlight tucked away. He grabbed it and swung it, catching Mac on his shoulder with a crack and sending him tumbling back again. He must have accidentally clicked the switch, because the beam of light suddenly cut through the darkness.
“Are you fucking high?” Mac screeched. “Why are you hitting me?”
“Because I told you ‘no,’ asshole!” Robin shouted back. He held the flashlight up in front of him like a sword. “Listen to me! It’s not happening. Whatever little fantasy you imagined, I’m not your plaything. I’m not your boyfriend – I’m not your anything! So take us back to shore right now, and I’ll think about not pressing charges!”
“Pressing charges?” Mac laughed hollowly as he rubbed the spot on his arm where Robin had smacked him. “After all that pathetic fuss you made about me accidentally pushing you one time you go, and attack me with a blunt weapon! I should press charges against you! Not to mention the emotional abuse you’ve put me through. It’s too much, Robin. You make me so fucking mad.”
He lurched across the boat again. Robin swung with the flashlight, but Mac was almost twice his size.
As Mac grabbed him around the waist, forcing him backward, Robin dropped the flashlight back into the bottom of the boat.
He wasn’t so lucky.
The boat rocked, sloshing water over the edge and drenching their clothes. He tried to push free from Mac as they stumbled over the slippery wood, but Mac was too heavy.
The back of Robin’s calves hit the edge of the boat. He released Mac to pinwheel his arms, but it was useless. Mac was already falling against him.
They both hit the cold water with an almighty splash.
Robin did the worst thing he could in his panic and gasped, filling his mouth with water. He spat and thrashed, but he couldn’t tell which way was up. It was pitch black in the few seconds he opened his eyes, but then he closed them and his mouth against the water.
Holy fuck.
He was going to drown.
He was never going to see his family again.
Or Dair.
Dair.
He’d never get to tell him how sorry he was. He’d never be able to try and make things work between them.
No, no, no! He was going to fight! He wasn’t giving up! He beat his arms and legs, desperately searching for the surface.
He wasn’t going to leave Dair.
But the darkness was somehow getting darker, and he was going from painfully freezing to flat out numb. His limbs were slowing as the water became heavier.
He didn’t know what else to do. His thoughts were slowing down like molasses and his lungs burned.
Dair, he thought, heartbroken.
Then he wasn’t sure what happened, but he was pretty sure it was over.
23
DAIR
“HE’S STILL NOT ANSWERING his phone.” Jay hung up and tapped his cell against his chin.
Dair didn’t take his eyes off the lake as he shook his head. “He always has it on silent.” He cursed under his breath and chewed his thumbnail. He kept swaying between gut-wrenching dread for Robin’s safety and horrible jealousy that he and Mac might actually be having a romantic tryst.
That didn’t seem likely considering everyone’s reactions and what he knew now about the events of yesterday. But Dair had been pulled from pillar to post over the past few days, and right now he didn’t feel like he knew anything for sure. Ultimately, Dair knew it would be better if Robin was having a make-out session with a douchebag than be in any actual danger. But either way, he was going out of his mind.
The speeches were underway behind them in the hall and the sound of the crowd applauding drifted through the night air. It seemed weird that they were all just having a fun time reminiscing the good old days when Dair and the others were out here worrying themselves into a state.
He couldn’t help but feel like this was all his fault. If he’d just gotten over himself and talked to Robin openly like Peyton had said, none of this would be happening. If any harm came to Robin because of him-
He froze, straining his ears with everything he had.
“Did you hear that?” he rasped.
“What?” Ava asked.
“It sounded like shouting…?”
“Fuck,” Emery hissed wringing his hands.
Dair didn’t breathe, desperate for more.
Then it came, so faint it could have been just the wind. But Dair knew what he heard.
It was a scream.
He didn’t even register his suit jacket was off until he’d flung it into Peyton’s arms. “Dair!” she called, but Dair was already sprinting the few feet to the end of the pier, kicking his shoes off as he ran.
He dove into the cold lake and started swimming as fast as he could.
No, no, no! he screamed in his head. Don’t you hurt him, you bastard. I’ll kill you!
He was swimming blindly, his muscles pumping as he pushed them against the frigid water. “Robin!” he called out between strokes. He still couldn’t see the boat, but he thought he heard more shouting over the water rushing over his ears. “Robin, I’m coming!”
Goddamn it, why couldn’t there be a bigger moon? The slim crescent wasn’t doing anything to help Dair distinguish any shapes among the waves around him. His teeth chattered as he stopped and tried to get his bearings. His clothes tried to drag him under as he trod water and the cold was seeping into his bones. The fact that it was summer didn’t seem to have had any effect on the water temperature. He wondered how deep this lake was.
“Robin!” he bellowed.
He didn’t get any reply, but a few seconds later, a light swung wildly, cutting through the inky blackness. Dair’s heart lurched. It was maybe thirty or forty feet away from him. It seemed to steady and then point upwards.
It had to be Robin.
He started swimming again, praying he wasn’t too late. There was more shouting. Dair could discern two separate voices, but not the exact words. He might have heard a ‘no,’ though, and that made him drive his body through the water even faster.
There was a loud splash and Dair fumbled to a halt. “Robin?” he yelled, terror creeping up his throat. “ROBIN!”
Oh god.
Dair covered the last twenty feet at an inhuman rate. An empty rowboat finally came into sight.
Mac’s head burst through the surface a dozen feet away as he coughed and spluttered. “Where’s Robin!” Dair demanded.