by Kailin Gow
“Look, I just want to take my chances while I still can. You haven’t made a commitment to Braxton or Moore. I have to at least take a chance and try to persuade you to consider me.”
Chuckling softly, I ran my hands over the breadth of his shoulder and down his arms. Even through his leather jacket I could feel the power and strength harbored there. Sweet, yes, I thought, but oh so dangerous and strong when called for. He was my new guardian, who turned out to have angel blood in him. He was also the bad boy of St. James Academy, who was staring at me with his intense blue eyes, willing me to take a chance with him. “Lux, we’re going to be together a lot, and this…being this close is going to be the hardest thing for me, as your guardian or even being one of your demon slayers.” He touched my cheek gently, his thumb grazing the bottom of my lips. I closed my eyes because I did feel an attraction to him.
I knew I had a connection to Asher, just as I did to Moore and Braxton. Fate had brought us all together, just as it had brought me to my destiny as a demon slayer when I was two years old.
Asher sighed and pulled back. With a faint grunt of resignation, he shoved his fingers through the thick dark waves of his hair, raking stray locks off his face. “I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but, hey, I had to try, right?”
“I guess.”
“But, I promise you, when all of this is said and done, you’ll realize that Moore is not what you need, and Braxton is not what you want.” He looked at the ground and back up at me. “It’ll only break your heart Lux. Now that you know what they are, and what we are.”
“Time will tell. We’ll just have to wait and see,” I said with a teasing grin.
“We might end up seeing you slaying one of them… or both.”
Frowning, I glared at him, virtually daring him to explain himself. His grin faded, but he said nothing in his defense.
“Let’s move on to more serious business.” I turned to my grandmother’s special chest and turned the key. “Good thing I at least have this safely tucked away.”
Asher smiled as I pulled out the thick and heavy Book of Angels and plopped it down on my bed. With a boyish grin and playful cock of his brow, he fell back onto the bed.
“A little night time reading?” He patted the book.
My cheeks heated up, and I couldn’t understand why I was so flustered. “I’ve been reading a lot about angels lately. I’m almost finished with another one I have, but need your help with this one. I’m curious and want to know as much as I can. Hopefully in all this I’ll also be able to find out what I am.”
He reached for my hand and held my fingers tenderly in his. “I know you’ve been going through a rough time lately. I know how difficult it is to wake up one day and realize you're not what you thought. It takes some getting used to.”
“I know, and to a large extent I appreciate and accept whatever it is that I am, but I want to know. I want some confirmation.”
“Look, I’ve been there. I’ve asked the questions you're asking and I’ve had the doubts and confusion. I also went through a phase of anger and resentment, something you’ll probably go through after this first phase fizzles.”
“Great,” I said with a sarcastic smirk. “Give me something to look forward to.”
“Just know that I’ll be there for you, no matter what happens, and no matter what you find out.”
I sat beside him and looked at the length of his stretched out form. I pulled the heavy book onto my lap. “Thanks. I already knew that, but it’s good to hear all the same.”
In that moment I wanted nothing more than to stretch out along side of him, to feel the warmth of his body and to just curl up in the safety of his arms. Looking at him, I couldn’t resist reaching out to run my fingers through his hair. The thick dark waves were soft and alluring.
“You certainly are a handsome guardian, aren’t you?”
“I think that’s the first time you’ve actually come out and complimented me.”
“Naw,” I said with a smile. “I’m sure I’ve told you before.” I curled a lock around my thumb.
“No, you never have. I’d remember.”
“Well, then, I’m telling you now. I’d admire you Asher, not only for your looks and strength, but there’s something free about you. You don’t seem to care what people think and you go ahead and do what you what you want with no apologies.”
“I wasn’t always so confident, Lux,” he said evenly, “but there comes a time when you realize you have to be your true self. You can’t live your life based on what others expect of you. I sure got that message when I realized my parents would never really be happy with my choices, no matter what. So I decided to let them be unhappy with me, all the while making sure I was happy with me.”
“Did your art help you?”
He shrugged. “A means to express yourself is always good. I guess you could say that I vent my soul through my drawings. A few years back I painted something so ugly and raw, so painful to look at, I realized it was the fear and uncertainty I felt inside that had come out through my brush, and through my choice of colors.”
“Maybe I should take up painting.”
“Why not? I’d be more than happy to give you a few private lessons.”
I let out an amused snort and ruffled his hair. “Yeah, can you just imagine it? The rebel tough guy tutoring the demon slayer in, what, of all things? Art.”
My gaze fixed on his torso, on the tightness of his t-shirt and when I met his eyes I knew it was going to be hard staying out of his arms. We were so similar in so many ways, and I knew I could learn so much from him by spending more time with him.
“How ‘bout you start by tutoring me in Latin.” I flipped through the thick yellowed pages of the Book of Angels. Each page was crisp and dry, threatening to crack if pulled back too far. Even the scent spoke of ages. “Was Latin a natural part of your transformation? I mean, did you just automatically understand it, or did you have to learn?”
“Ha, nothing comes that easy. No I had to learn, and I had to work hard to learn. I’ll admit I’m not the greatest student, but really, Latin is not easy.”
I frowned and felt defeated before I’d even begun.
“You need a hand understanding something in there?” He sat up and looked over my shoulder at the book.
“I went online and picked up a few words and I get the gist of some of this, but there’s so much. I can’t keep up. Every time I find enough words to get by on, I come across a whole new batch of words and turn of phrases that I don’t understand.”
“Let’s take a look. What, exactly are you hoping to find in here?”
“A way to break the curse that was put on Brax and Moore.”
He looked at me and bit his lip, and for a moment I thought he’d refuse to help me. “I don’t know if something like that would be in a book like this.” He took the book from my hands and carefully turned the pages. “But we’ll take a look.”
“Hey, Lux! Asher!” Mom called from downstairs.
I left Asher’s side and went to the top step of the stairs. “What is it?”
“Your dad just called. I’m going to go meet him for dinner. We’re going to meet the replacement for Dr. Kingsley… a Dr. Fitzpatrick.”
“Fine, Mom. Don’t worry about dinner. I’ll fix something.”
“Well, at least you’ll have fresh baked cupcakes for dessert.”
“Thanks, and have a good time.”
I turned to get back to Asher and the Book of Angels, but instead of hearing my mother walk out the door, I heard her come up the stairs. I grabbed the book from Asher’s hands, threw it on the bed and tossed a cushion over it.
After a quick rap on the door, Mom pushed it open and popped her head in. “Hey, Asher. I know it’s Thursday and I’d promised you a home cooked meal, but I do have to run.”
He stood and went to kiss her cheek. “That’s fine, Mrs. Collins. I already appreciate everything you do for me.” He held her hands in his. “I haven’t eat
en so well since… well, I really can’t remember when.”
“It’s always a pleasure to have you Asher, and I promise, I’m going to make it up to you tomorrow. How does lasagna sound?”
“Perfect. I already look forward to it. And don’t worry about dinner tonight. I’ll help Lux whip up some great homemade smoothies. I’m not just a pretty face you know. I am handy in the kitchen.”
“I don’t doubt it.” Mom patted his cheek.
“That’ll be perfect,” I added. “So we’ll have something homemade after all. Practically gourmet.”
She came to give me a hug. “Sorry I have to run off like this, but your Dad is waiting for me. There’s some dinner or something to welcome the new dean.”
“Yeah, I heard,” I said with a nod. “Have fun, Mom.”
“I will, honey, but don’t you kids have too much fun.”
“Don’t worry, we won’t. We have a lot of studying to do.”
“Great.” She kissed my forehead and turned to head for the door. “I’ll see you later.”
Asher and I gazed at one another as we listened to her go downstairs, gather her purse and keys and walk out. Only then did Asher speak up.
“She doesn’t know?”
“No, neither of them knows.” I returned to sit on the bed and pulled the Book of Angels out from its hiding place. “I haven’t been able to find the way to tell them I’m sprouting wings. How do I explain that to them, especially since they don’t have any? Where did I get it from?”
He sat beside me and pulled me into his arms. “Don’t worry. Things’ll work out. At least you have open and honest communication with them. I’m sure when you're ready to talk, they’ll be ready to listen. You're really lucky, you know. Your parents are great. I can’t even begin to imagine having such understanding parents.”
“That may be true, but I still want to keep them out of this. They’ve already been through so much, watching me grow up as a demon slayer. I think I want to spare them at least the questioning and uncertainty I’m going through. I’ll tell them about this when I know what this is.”
“Who knows, maybe they already know. They’re pretty smart. I don’t think my parents ever knew, granted they weren’t around much to notice there was something different about me. Honestly, I think they wouldn’t have seen a thing even if they’d stayed with me for any amount of time.”
“I’m sorry you had to do so much growing up on your own.”
He hugged me tighter and kissed my temple. “Forget about all that. Despite everything, I’m grateful; grateful for what I have now. Finding you was a big relief. I needed to find someone who was just like me.”
He cupped my chin and turned me to look at him. His eyes, so often hard and uncompromising, were now soft and warm, welcoming me into his sphere, into his world. I knew this was important to him.
“You have no idea how happy I am that I found out about you. It’s answered so many questions about myself. It’s helped me understand so much more about my life.”
“You know, I glad too.”
Chapter 2
Ethereal Sight
Asher’s knowledge of Latin proved inadequate as we flipped through the Book of Angels. He’d managed to pick up on a few words here and there.
“I’m going to have to look some of this up again,” he’d said as he scratched his head. He pointed to a line. “Bellum, that means war, but basium… that’s a kiss.”
“The kiss of war.”
“Then you have hostium, or enemy, but here you have amicitia, which is friendship.”
“One extreme to the other.”
“Yeah. And here you have abisco, which could mean to split or separate.”
The words spun around in my head as I headed to Brax’s door after dinner. Asher had to head back home so I arrived at the Kingsley mansion by myself. I’d hope to arrive with an answer to the curse he lived with and to check up on him, especially how he had been so shaken by this morning’s demon incident. Without much progress with the Book of Angel, I felt empty and useless. Despite that, I had to see him. His parents had asked me to protect him, and I still cared deeply for him as a friend and something more.
“Lux,” he answered with a distinctive lack of enthusiasm when he opened the door. If anything his voice held a heavy tone of despair and darkness.
“Hey,” I said lightly. “Can I come in?”
Scrutinizing me, he hesitated a moment, then pulled open the door without a word.
The big mansion was even more silent and void of life than when his uncle was alive. Brax had mentioned letting some of the help go, not so much for financial reasons, but simply to have more privacy.
He led me to his uncle’s library, a room he had adopted and spent much time in.
“Brax,” I said as I sat down. “Just to ease your mind, I don’t really think you had anything to do with what happened to Bobby. I don’t think you're the one who drained him.”
“That’s good to hear.” His voice remained cool and unmoved, just as he did. He stood, stiff and still beside me. “But it doesn’t really answer much though. I mean, I don’t even remember going into the locker room to begin with. I didn’t play lacrosse today because I was behind on an essay I had to write for English Lit, and I’d spent an hour at the library. I had no reason to go to the gym.”
“And the gym and library are practically at opposite ends,” I said.
“That and I don’t understand why I would shove Asher into a locker. It doesn’t make sense.”
“I know how frustrating all this must be for you, but we’ll find out what’s really going on and we’ll find a way to break you from this curse.” I reached out for his hand and gave a gentle tug, hoping to incite him to sit beside me. Though he didn’t quite pull his hand from mine, he did resist the tug toward the chair. “Asher and I have been pouring over the Book of Angels hoping to find something that would help. So far we haven’t found anything concrete; something about friends and enemies, about love and war.”
“You're wasting your time. You guys can’t help me.”
“Don’t say that, Brax. You can’t give up. Remember what your parents said. You need an angel’s help.”
He gazed down at me, his eyes vague and unsure.
I gave his hand a teasing squeeze. “So now we know I have some angel blood in me. I guess that’s why I was so drawn to you right from the start.”
The Braxton I’d come to know finally broke through. He grinned. “It’s not simply because you found me attractive?”
I gave his hand a playful slap and leaned back into my chair. “You? Atrractive?”
He sat on the edge of his uncle’s desk and clasped his hands over his lap. “Some girls happen to think I’m attractive.”
It was good to see him back to his old self.
“I guess you could say that I’m not like some girls.”
“Oh, you could definitely say you’re not like some girls. In fact you like no other girl I’ve ever met. You're Lux, and unique in so many ways.”
“You're just saying that because I want to save you that’s all.”
“And I know you’ll do it.” It was his turn to reach out for my hand. He pulled me out of my chair and pulled me to him. He was so vulnerable in that moment, I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him everything would be okay. That I would be there for him, especially now.
But, as he tried to bring me closer, I kept a safe distance from him, refusing to come into his embrace. “Hold on, Brax.”
“I thought you…”
“You know, I’m still a little mad at you.”
“Mad? At me? I thought you said you didn’t think I had anything to do with what happened to Bobby.”
“Not that, Brax. Your confession that day at Yosemite… about your relationship with Shayne.”
Shaking his head, he pulled me closer. “I’m sorry about that. I know I should have told you about it sooner… before you learn about it the way you did. Lux, that
whole thing with Shayne was a long time ago, and honestly, I never really gave it much thought. I was lost, she was there, then, before you knew it, I was not there. It was really as quick as that. I met her, got to know her and moved on. Now, can we move on?”
“It’s not the fact that you guys have this history together, it’s the fact that you didn’t tell me yourself. You know you had plenty of chances to do so, but you said nothing. I can’t help but wonder what else you might be hiding.”
“I wasn’t hiding it, Lux. I just didn’t think it was that important because she didn’t mean anything to me. Look Lux, I’ll tell you stuff about me then. I’ll be open and honest to you. What do you want to know? I never told you I broke my arm when I was six years old. I climbed onto the counter to get my favorite cereal bowl and fell off. When I was nine I had a paper route. My parents had grounded me and cut my allowance and I wanted to go to the movies with a friend. So I collected my paper route money from my clients, pocketed the money and went to the movies.”
“Brax…”
“Then when I was twelve my best friend and I decided to bike out into the county side to camp. Our backpacks were full of canned soup, canned fruits and canned tuna. By the time we arrived at our destination, we were so exhausted we called his father and had him come pick us up.”
“That’s enough, Brax. You know very well that this is different.”
“Of course, relationships. Well, how about this? I went to Italy when I was fifteen and met a girl there, Becca. For the whole two weeks I was there, I spent every minute I could with her. I was heartbroken when I came back, but, hell, two weeks later I was hanging with my friends and Becca was just a cool memory from a really cool vacation. Is there anything else you want to know?”
“I knew Shayne. I hung out with Shayne.”
“You hung out with her brother.”
“You know this is more than a simple omission. You knew this would matter.”
Brax swallowed and cast his gaze to the hardwood floor. “It wasn’t intentional. If anything, you have to believe it wasn’t intentional. I mean, maybe, somewhere in the back of my head I was afraid to tell you. Maybe I was afraid how you’d react, but I didn’t intentionally mean to deceive you or hide anything from you.”