by Kailin Gow
We stopped talking and simply looked at each other a moment as a dozen students filed by. The air in the school seemed to have changed since we’d last been here and I could sense that in the students. There was something different about them, something in their demeanor, in their stride.
Shaking my head and setting aside my concern, I turned back to Brax.
“I’m sorry if things are a little confusing now. If it helps any, I’m confused as well. I’ve never felt the tumultuous emotions I have these past months. And with the portal open and…”
“I know, Lux. I’m not asking you to explain or justify your emotions. I know it’s not easy. I’m just letting you know where my head is at.”
“Mr. Ho would have your head for ending your sentence with a preposition like that.”
He chuckled. “Bad habit, I guess. I’m sure he’d forgive me.”
“I don’t know. He once chastised me in front of the whole class for saying who when I should have said whom.”
“Remember when I used to tutor you.”
I heard the softness in his voice and was immediately transported to those first days at St. James Academy. He’d seemed so innocent back then.
“I loved those times with you. It helped me with my grades, but it helped me get to know you.”
“Tables are turned now. Look at who’s giving me English lessons.”
It was so good talking about things other then demons and portals. It felt good to just be normal; a boy and a girl, in school, talking about things students should talk about. I wanted to lean into him, and be the flirtatious girl who claws after the handsome jock.
He looked around and I sensed the quiet, normal moment had passed. We were back to demon slayers and gatekeepers.
“I thought it might be a good idea if we got together tonight, go over the Book of Angels, learn the blessings John wants us to learn.”
Beaming, I nodded. “I think that’d be great, Brax.
Chapter 16
Falling
Being back in school the next day was a surreal experience. I felt my soul was still back in Italy, trying to plot out how to remedy the situation with the portal and the many demons coming through it. I had no doubt Asher, Brax and Moore felt the same. Our time with Markus, Gordon and John had been enlightening, and, for me, had also changed something deep within my core.
Perhaps it was learning about my relationship to John and the true nature of my relationship with the parents I’d always known, or maybe it was the proximity to such worldly and experienced demon slayers.
Wanting to find Moore, I stopped at my locker to dump my books, hoping to head down the hall in the direction of his locker afterward. I hadn’t seen him all day and he’d been strangely quiet the whole flight back.
He’d been moody before, at times creeping off to some dark place within him, but this was worse. I sensed a complete disconnect and it worried me. At the same time, however, I knew it was best for me to keep my distances.
Just before getting back on the plane, we’d had a moment alone in Italy. The scene had been like that of a perfect romance novel; sunset, beautiful music and his warm hand over mine. I wanted to lose myself in him. I’d spent so much of my life being strong, being a warrior, being a fighter; I wanted to spend a moment just being a girl, a woman with a man. I wanted to be free of my demon slayer duties, of the obligations they brought and simply give in to the urges that pulled me to him.
After all the years I’d put in, didn’t I deserve at least that? A pleasant moment in Italy with a beautiful man begging to get closer to me? Couldn’t I let go, give in, enjoy?
“Why is it I have a feeling things are going to change the moment we get back?” he’d asked as his fingers had tightened around mine.
“I think we’ve learned a lot, Moore. Markus, Gordon and John gave us all a lot to think about. I think we’ve learned a lot about what we have to do, here with the demons and the opened portal, but we’ve also learned about ourselves and our roles here.”
He pulled me into his arms. “I don’t want to talk about demons and slaying and angels. I want to enjoy this last night here with you. I never want this moment to end. I want to stay here, with you, forever.”
Though it’d killed me, I’d had to pull away. The moment he’d pulled me into his arms, I’d felt the darkness that lay deep within him. As much as I wanted to be with him, and as much as it felt good being so close to him, I had to step back and revert to the demon slayer I was.
“I wish I could be the type of girl you want me to be, Moore. The kind of girl who melts into your arms and purrs to your kisses, but…”
“Don’t say that,” he said, instantly pressing his finger to my lips. “You are exactly the kind of girl I want, and don’t ever think differently. You’re perfect for me. I love you just the way you are. If anything, I’m the one who is at fault here. I’m the one who is cursed.”
*****
Staring into my locker now, I’d forgotten what I was there for, the memory of those moments was so strong. The scent of his breath, and the touch of his hand still left a tremor deep inside my gut.
“Hey, Lux.”
I turned to see Asher rushing to me and quickly shook off the heat caused by thoughts of Moore.
“Do you have a lunch date yet?”
I chuckled and slammed my locker door shut. Though he fully understood and accepted my reluctance to become involved in any kind of relationship with him, he still kept the door open with that witty smirk of his.
“A lunch date?”
“Yeah,” he said with a cock of his brow. “I have a nice tray of lasagna all lined up for you.”
“Sounds so romantic.” I batted my eyes in an exaggerated fashion. “It’s almost like being back in Italy.”
“Speaking of Italy,” he said. “How’s Moore dealing with being back in San Fran? He didn’t really seem too much like himself on the flight back.”
“Don’t know,” I said as we maneuvered through a crowd of students who hurried toward the cafeteria. “I haven’t seen him yet today and he’s given no sign of life since stepping off that plane.”
“Worried?” he said as he pushed through the cafeteria door.
I didn’t want to have to admit it so I shrugged and left it at that.
“Hmm,” he said while patting his belly for effect. “Smells like the lasagna I love.”
“You're a bit chipper this morning. What’s gotten into you?” I grabbed a tray at the beginning of the lunch counter and waited from my plate of lasagna.
“Though I still have a few questions, I think our trip to Italy was rather fruitful.”
“What questions do you still have?”
He looked at me, his eyes telling me to wait until we were alone.
I paid the cashier then led the way to a quiet table out on the patio. The sun was blinding and the heat good on my skin. I still felt suffocated by the time we’d spent in that dank church underbelly and felt a constant need to renew the air in my lungs.
“So,” I said once we’d settled at a table. “What are these questions about?”
“We found out how to close the portal, but the thing we still don’t know is how to find it.”
I nodded thoughtfully as I poked my fork into the cheesy lasagna and pulled up a long stringy line of melted cheese. “We know it’s in San Francisco,” I said before taking a bite.
“Yeah, but I think we’re going to have to narrow it down a bit more than that.”
“Any ideas?”
“I woke up early this morning and poured over the Book of Angels. Somewhere in there it mentions finding a place of high activity, and finding a place with plenty of fresh souls.”
“Okay, good. So that means we’re not looking at an individual home or something like that. This is a larger place; a place that can hold a lot of people.” I thought of the places I’d experienced the heaviest amount of activity. “I’ve seen the most activity at Brax’s house or here at school. I don�
��t think they would want to waste too much time and energy preying on the house of a gatekeeper,” I muttered.
“Like Brax.”
“Yeah, nor would they want to take that big a risk for nothing.”
“So that leaves here.” He ate his lasagna as if we were talking about remedial soccer, or the night’s English essay. His gaze darted around the various picnic tables set here and there then turned to focus on the hundreds of students inside the cafeteria.
“It would make sense,” I added, my tone hushed. “After all I was brought here to St. James. I don’t think it was an idle move on Dr. Kingsley’s part. I mean, look at me. Do I really look like the kind of student who would enroll in such an exclusive school? Never mind be accepted?”
“I think you underestimate yourself too much, but, yeah. I can see what you mean.”
“The only reason I’m here is because Dr. Kingsley was on the board.”
“I guess it’s lucky for us this is all happening while you're still at the age to go to this school.”
I chuckled half-heartedly. “I guess you could look at it that way. You know, my whole life I’ve gone from school to school. I could never stay for more than a month or so.”
“Trouble-maker.”
“I’ll say.”
“You really started slaying that young, huh?”
“Two years old,” I said with a heavy nod. “This is the longest I’ve been at the same school.”
“Must be because of me,” he said with an impish grin.
I looked his way and pointed my fork at him. “You might be onto something there.”
“What’s your next class?” he said in an idle manner.
“Biology.”
“Hmm.” He grabbed our empty trays and stood. “Does that help any with the dealing of demons?”
“Not really.”
Leaving our trays on the outside garbage can, we then re-entered the cafeteria and made our way back to our lockers.
As we passed in front of the boys’ locker room, Brax emerged.
“Not again,” Asher said as he took in Brax’s disheveled appearance and lost gaze. “I’ll be right back.” He shot into the locker room.
“You okay?” I asked Brax.
His eyes still slightly glazed, he nodded.
“I was just telling Asher about the whole reason for my being here at St. James.”
Again he nodded.
“We suspected the main core of activity is here at St. James and that’s why Dr. Kingsley had me enrolled here.”
Brax leaned back against the wall and looked like he was about to be ill.
“I mean, I clearly don’t fit in here, so why else would I come to a school like this?”
Looking at my shoes, Brax murmured something unintelligible.
“What was that?”
“They’re playing with you, aren’t they?”
Frowning, I looked into his hazy eyes. “Who? What do you mean?”
“You're just a pawn, a playing piece. You have no real control over what’s going on. You're at the mercy of those who make the rules; those who know the game; those who change the game to suit their purposes.”
“Brax, you're scaring me. What are you talking about?”
A degree of lucidity came back and he looked me straight in the eye. “It’s going to be all right, Lux. You may not be in control, but you're strong and you’ll get through it. We’re all there to help get you through it.”
Pulling me into his arms, he hugged me tight and kissed the top of my head for a long moment. I felt his concern for me in his embrace, but that concern quickly turned into something dark and sinister. I pushed him back and when I looked up, Asher was beside us, his crucifix in hand.
“Asher,” I said as I stared at him in disbelief. “What are you doing? Put that down.”
“Why don’t you ask him what’s he doing? Or better yet what he was doing… in there?” He tilted his head toward the locker room door.
I didn’t want to ask. I was afraid to ask. Though growing suspicion led me to question Brax’s integrity more and more, I didn’t want to believe there could truly be anything evil in him.
“Brax?” I said softly.
“Yeah?” His voice resonated with innocence.
“What were you doing in the boys’ locker room again? Did you have a game today?” I sounded like a kindergarten teacher and hated it.
“Yeah, Brax,” Asher said, sounding more like a prison guard. “I found another drained body in the locker room. Are you going to try to tell me you had nothing to do with it?” He turned to look at me. “There was nobody else in there. I went through every aisle of lockers, threw them all open and looked into every shower stall. The only person I found was the remains of Oliver Sharp.”
My heart was split in two; the half that wanted to slay him right there and the half that wanted him to tell me this was all a mistake.”
“It wasn’t me,” Brax said. “And believe me it’s not easy. I’m starving for a soul, I’ll admit that, but I’m controlling it. As hard as it is, I’m controlling it.” He turned to look at me, his eyes imploring me to believe him. “I’ve been working so hard to fight it off, Lux. It’s hard, but I’m managing it. It’s not me who took Oliver. It couldn’t be.”
A group of students passed by, chatting amiably and going about their business as if life was easy and beautiful. How lovely it must be to go through life without a care in the world. How wonderful it must be to have such leisure time to laugh and play. I’d never known that kind of luxury. My leisure time was spent fighting to keep the world free of the demons who preyed on helpless souls.
We all looked to the floor and quieted down the time they passed us by.
“Look,” Asher said the moment they’d passed. “I don’t know what kind of game you're playing, but this is the second time we find an empty body where you just so happen to have been. You're going to say it’s all a coincidence? Well, I don’t believe it.”
Darkness quickly filled Braxton’s eyes. Laying my hand over Asher’s arm, I silently begged him to keep quiet. “Coincidences happen,” I said. I shot a glance at Asher and looked back at Brax. “No use getting all upset over this. I know you're working hard to keep control and I wouldn’t want you to lose that grip on control. Please don’t get upset with all this.”
“I’m not getting upset,” Brax grumbled, sounding more like a petulant child than a demonic teenager.
Still, my gut told me this wasn’t good. I was worried about the control he really did have over this. Maybe he was able to control it while he was conscious of his actions, but could the darkness be working through him without his realizing it?
With the portal getting larger and larger, it was a possibility I had to consider… and worry about.
Chapter 17
Lost
“Asher, would you mind giving us a few minutes alone?” I said.
His eyes gave a definite no as an answer, but he nodded all the same. “I’m going to go out and take a look at the field. Maybe I’ll find an answer out there.”
Brax and I silently watched him walk outside then strolled slowly to the doors Asher had used.
“You know there’ve been others,” Brax said. “Others like Oliver and…”
“Yes,” I said. “I heard.”
“I wasn’t anywhere near them. Some even happened while we were in Italy, so…”
“Okay.” I reached out to pat him arm. “I don’t think you had anything to do with this. Just bad timing I guess.”
Brax kicked an imaginary rock on the hardwood floor. “Yeah, that seems to be following me around lately.”
“I’m hoping we’ll find the portal soon, Brax. I know this has been hard and I can’t imagine what you're living with, but I promise I’ll do all I can to get rid of the demon that’s growing inside you.”
“I know I should be comforted by that, but right now, I’m just sick of the whole thing. I’m exhausted by the constant struggle, by
the fighting. I’m fighting myself and it’s the worst feeling in the world.”
“Please hold on until we find the portal. We know it’s around here somewhere.”
“Where, in San Francisco? That’s not much help.” He glared at me, something the Brax I knew was not apt to do.
“No… here, at St. James. We think the portal could be right here; virtually under our noses.”
We walked out and the blinding sun that had so warmed my skin moments earlier now seemed to irritate and annoy Brax. He pulled up the collar of his shirt and shielded his eyes with his hand. “Do we really have to come out here?” he said in a plaintive tone. “It’s as hot as hell out here today.”
I didn’t comment on his choice of words, but glanced at Asher who seemed to have found something interesting.
“Hey, you guys.” His gaze was intently on the ground just near the doorway that led straight into the boys’ locker room. “I think I may have found something.”
I stepped forward, but stopped when I noticed that Brax had remained behind. “Aren’t you going to come?” I said.
He stared at me and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Something doesn’t smell right out here.”
I sniffed the air and realized he was right and it wasn’t the smell of sweaty lacrosse players. It was something more vile, more sinister. Nonetheless, I walked back to him, took him by the hand and led him to Asher’s side. “What do you have?”
“Look.” Asher pointed to the ground. “Have you ever seen anything like that before?”
A look of fear and pain instantly creased Brax’s face as he looked at the dark hole in the ground. Barely a foot in diameter, the hole looked like a void, an empty space that swirled in an endless abyss.
“That’s it,” Brax whispered. “I can feel it to my bones…that’s the portal to hell.”
The scent was unmistakable. Even with my weakened senses, the pull toward the darkness was immense, almost insurmountable. I’d felt like this so many times in the past; heavy and dizzy.