by Amy Gregory
“Ah,” she replied startled, bracing herself against him with her hands flat on his chest.
Honor didn’t know what shocked her more, the strength of the movement, or that he still had her in his arms, and both arms were now wrapped around her back keeping her close to him.
Gazing in his eyes, she tried not to read what was right there on the surface. “Eli?” She asked on a whisper.
“Honor.”
The confidence he exuded might come across as cocky to a stranger, but to her, he was playful. That was all, he was just being silly. Nothing more.
But yet, she was still in his hold. Still pressed tight against him, and of his own doing.
She nodded to the counter space behind him where she had the bread ready to spread with homemade garlic butter and fresh mozzarella cheese.
With a nervous smile she looked up. “You need to let me finish getting dinner made.”
“You need to kiss me.”
Suddenly he wasn’t being silly. He wasn’t laughing, smiling or teasing. She took a long minute looking as hard as she could into the hazel eyes fixated on her. The only thing she could see was desire. With her palms against his chest she could feel the rapid rise and fall of the steel underneath her hands, feel the speed of his heart.
“Eli…”
“Honor.”
She swallowed hard, a chore to do with a mouth so dry it felt like cotton. Desperately trying to figure out what was happening, she wondered how she went from basically a customer staying with a gracious host, to standing in his embrace and her heart pounding out of her chest. She racked her brain for the questions to ask.
Only one word was able to make it to her lips time and time again.
“Eli?” She said a third time, her voice shaking and barely audible.
His mouth turned up, and instantly she felt like ten pounds had lifted off of her.
“I’ve been trying, Honor. Trying to subtly show you how I feel.” He tipped her chin to his with his knuckle, and left it there so she couldn’t break the eye contact. “I really like you, and I’m really attracted to you.” He closed in and kissed the tip of her nose. “You aren’t really responding to my quiet hints, so I have to step it up.”
Honor pulled in a breath and swallowed her heart back down to her chest from the place it had jumped to in her throat. She blinked wildly, not sure of the tricks the universe was playing on her. In her world, gorgeous, sexy, hot men didn’t come on to her. In her world—shit, she couldn’t remember her world at the moment. Not when all she could concentrate on was the mouth inching closer to her in slow motion.
“I have a child,” she rushed out. A warning of sorts.
He winked and closed in more. “I know. His name is Dallas, great kid.”
She could feel his breath on her lips as he answered. The tip of her tongue darted out, preparing her mouth for the inevitable.
“But—”
“I’m going to kiss you now. Please, Honor—don’t stop me,” his plea said almost touching her.
His lips hovered over hers, barely there, but his presence undeniable. At first touch, her eyes slowly closed of their own free will. That must have been the answer he’d been waiting for. Eli pressed on, his mouth firm but gentle. Fire shot through her, every place he touched was scorched, the rest of her pulled under his spell. Honor lost all consciousness of time, the seconds turning into minutes as his lips parted, urging hers to do the same, his tongue seeking hers.
A palm came to her cheek, taking control and tilting her head for more. The sound of her pulse rushed in her ears, a sprinkling of tingles swept across her body from her cheeks, down her arms, clear down her legs. Pulses felt in places she’d long ago forgotten about, needs she’d tucked away years ago came barreling to the surface.
She ran her fingers up his chest and around his neck, pressing herself into him. Lost in all the wants she’d denied, Honor kissed him back, her tongue touching his, his breath combined with hers, a soft moan rumbled, but she wasn’t sure if it came from her or him. His mouth left hers but only to make its way across her jaw and over to the sensitive skin of her neck. A high-pitched sound of approval escaped her, urging him to take more, to make her his.
The shrill ring of her cell lying on the kitchen counter sent her out of her skin.
Both of them breathing hard, Eli broke contact and reached behind him, handing her the cell. Seemingly careful to not let completely go of her.
Dallas.
Oh…my…God.
“Shit…shit. What the hell, Eli?” She put a palm against his chest for space, but he didn’t budge.
What had she done?
Staring in pure panic at Eli, she pulled in a breath consciously trying to slow her breathing, trying to sound normal so she could answer the phone.
“Hi, hon,” she answered, the pitch in her voice higher…like guilt does to a person.
“I’m ready to be picked up.”
“Okay, be right there. Bye.”
“Thanks, Mom. Bye.”
With the call ended, Eli took the phone back out of her shaking hand and placed it back on the counter behind him. Before she could make a move, he closed his arms around her again. His grip tightening.
“Eli…” She tilted her head, ashamed, confused, and still breathing hard. Her body betraying her.
“No. Don’t you dare, Honor. Don’t you take that moment back…don’t. You felt it, I know you did.”
“But I can’t. I shouldn’t, I…I don’t know what I did, I’m so sorry.”
“No, no apologizing for that. Like I said, you’ve been seemingly oblivious to my signals so far. Signals that I thought were downright blaring. Now…I’d have to say you aren’t as unaffected as you’d like to be—”
“Eli.”
“No, don’t Eli me. Don’t give me a hundred and one excuses. Don’t hide behind Dallas. I can feel it, Honor, and I can see it in your eyes.”
He held a hand to her still rapidly beating heart. The touch sent her pulse back to speeding.
“See, your body shows me the truth, so don’t let your head try to tell me otherwise. I’ll run to Jess’s and pick up Dallas—”
“But—”
His chin came up, halting her argument and daring her to continue.
“When I get back, we’ll enjoy that amazing smelling dinner you have spent the last two hours making. After Dallas goes to bed, we’ll talk.”
Honor swallowed. She didn’t know when she had done it, but at some point during his speech she had grasped his hand, instead of pulling him away, she had pressed it to her chest even tighter. She looked up to him, feeling more lost and alone than she had when Kolby had died. She licked her lips, ready to say something, anything, but no words came.
“I can see the argument forming in your head. Don’t, Honor. I’ve never felt like this before, so don’t go there. We’ll talk, we will work it out, but please don’t try to talk yourself out of this before you’ve even given me a chance. Give me that. Please.”
It was déjà vu. The same grasp of hands, the same uttered plea. He was asking for more this time. Her brow furrowed.
His eyes narrowed in response with a fire in them, and he shook his head.
“I’ll be right back.” Eli leaned in and kissed her forehead.
Leaving her standing rooted to that very spot, she blinked, not entirely sure of what had just happened. She heard the garage door open, heard the engine of his SUV start, then the noise faded as he backed out, off to get her son.
Dallas.
What the hell was she thinking?
Oh yeah, I wasn’t.
She wanted to close her eyes for a minute to escape, but when she did all she could see was Eli’s face, his smile. Pressing her fingers to her mouth, she could still feel the tingle of his lips on hers, she could still smell his cologne—woodsy, masculine, and very, very sexy.
Of course, it was sexy. That was what cologne manufacturers were going for. To drive women like her out of
their ever-loving minds with desire for men they couldn’t have. Honor rolled her shoulders and eyed the counter. Two things caught her attention, the bread she needed to get finished up and in the oven so it would be ready in time, and the bottle of red wine that Eli had opened for dinner.
Filling one of the two glasses sitting beside it, she downed it in a handful of impolite gulps. Looking at the door Eli had just left through moments before, she let out a breath and filled it again. Not a drinker by choice, she made the conscious decision she was going to need the liquid courage for her upcoming conversation with the devil himself.
He hadn’t let her get a word in, hadn’t let her even convey her thoughts or worries. Honor took a drink. He hadn’t let her remind him of her son, or had he? The last few minutes of time seemed like a jumbled mess, and she couldn’t make heads or tails of what happened, or what was said.
She took another swallow, this one smaller. Eli had acted almost as if Dallas wasn’t even a concern. Then he’d immediately volunteered to go pick him up. Almost as if…Honor slathered the bread with the garlic butter, trying to wrap her head around Eli’s words and actions. Not being gentle at all, she ran the knife over it, then dumped cheese over both sections, getting more on the pan than the bread. It was almost as if he wanted a relationship with Dallas, too?
CHAPTER NINE
For thirty-some minutes Honor put on the best show, sitting at the dinner table between him and her son, acting as if nothing had happened. Her light laughter at Dallas’s stories and jokes stirred something inside of him. The twinkle in her eye as she listened intently to what Dallas was telling her about the plans the men had for him on the track the next day, sent a surge through Eli’s system. Then he’d catch her attention and the red would flood her cheeks instantly.
She might be trying to appear calm in front of her son, but Eli could feel the sparks of excitement and fear crackling around her. No, she was definitely not going to be able to lie to him and tell him that moment meant nothing to her. She had kissed him back. There was need and desire behind it. She was as drawn to him as he was to her, Eli could feel it. If she tried to tell him otherwise…he had no problem calling her on it.
“And then Jesse said he wanted to work on starts first thing tomorrow,” Dallas said, cutting another bite of lasagna.
Eli grinned at her and again her cheeks went pink. She turned her attention to the plate of food she’d been playing with for the past few minutes. He nodded at Dallas’s comment as he picked up the bottle of wine.
“That’s fine, then we’ll move to the whoops section,” Eli agreed with the boy as he was topping Honor’s glass off. Her eyes went wide. He felt a little sinful plying her with liquor, but if that was the only way to get her to open up, well then a man had to do what a man had to do. The woman was a clam, all safe smiles and polite thank-yous, but Eli knew better. There was something about Honor that made him want her, made him want to make her his. Her eyes watched his hand intently as he slowly poured the red wine into her glass.
She tipped her chin, her eyes meeting his as if to say that was plenty. He winked and kept pouring. Leaving proper etiquette behind, he filled the crystal to the top.
Seemingly unaware of the two of them, Dallas dropped his fork on his plate and walked to the sink. Eli tried to contain his excitement. After Dallas’s dishes were loaded in the dishwasher, he smiled and left the room in a quick flash, his goodnights hollered over his shoulder.
Eli had been waiting for Honor to bust her son and his new video game habit, but so far she’d let him off the hook each night after dinner, as long as he had done what he could to keep up with his school work first. It really wasn’t fair to Dallas. Eli snickered to himself proudly, he was glad the boy liked the newest video game he’d picked up, and in his mind it didn’t hurt anything for him to play a game that mimicked what he did on the track.
Before Dallas even hit the doorway to the basement Honor was standing, clearing dishes off the table and hurrying to clean the traces of their meal away. Eli watched for a second, almost predatorily, taking in her skittish movements and her nervous breathing. When she reached for his empty plate, he stopped her with his hand around her slender wrist.
“You’re not waiting on me, sweetheart. I’ll help you,” He informed her, a slight teasing to his voice.
She blinked a couple of times with no answer, and when she turned, he let her slip out of his hold. At first, her pace was hurried, but when they settled into easy conversation over a sink filled with bubbles she relaxed. The two of them taking turns with the dishcloth between washing the larger items and wiping counters.
With the dishwasher loaded and running, the last pan dried and put away, and the granite shining once again, Honor turned, he assumed to escape to her bedroom for the evening. Eli had other plans. He grabbed her wrist a second time and grinned.
“Nice try, Honor. It’s time to talk.”
Eli gathered their wineglasses in one hand and ushered her into the family room with his other. She didn’t say a word, but she didn’t argue either, so he set her in the middle of the soft leather couch, then went to work building a fire.
To him there had always been something comforting about a fire. Gazing into the flames, watching them dance was relaxing to him. It made tense situations and conversations lighter, hard words were easier to say if the orange and red flames were available to focus on. He hoped it was the same for her.
He closed the wire mesh of the fireplace and made his way back around the coffee table to sit beside her. Leaning back he picked up both of their glasses. Honor took two long drinks before bringing her eyes up to meet his. She let out a shaky breath, but didn’t make any attempt to start the conversation.
Eli adjusted his position so he was turned into her, with his leg bent and resting on the couch, giving a more casual entrance for their conversation, “So, tell me more about you.”
She blinked, her brow scrunched together. He was trying not to laugh at her confusion, but he couldn’t help that the corners of his mouth turned up anyway. Apparently, he’d thrown her a curve ball. After their kiss that had left him hurting all the way to Jesse’s house, he knew that was what she had expected him to ask about.
“What about me?” She asked, her eyebrow raised.
Trying to take it slow, to find out more about her, he grinned. “Just tell me about you. You didn’t just walk into the world with an eleven-year-old. You have a past, I’d like to get to know you.”
Eli watched her eyes drift shut, watched her chest rise and fall with a large breath. When she opened her eyes again, the deer-in-the-headlights look was replaced with something that made Eli swallow hard. Her violet eyes were so haunted, so sad.
“You really want to do this? Go there? I don’t really share my life’s sad sob story with people, Eli.”
The knife turned in his chest. Everybody had a story, his mother always said.
Never judge a person until you know what they’ve lived through and pulled themselves out of. If they have survived, then count their blessings and yours too.
The words of the saint he was lucky enough to call his mother replayed in his head as if she was in the room, reminding him in person.
Honor was running her finger around the rim of her wineglass subconsciously making circle after circle. He gently pulled her hand to his lap and mimicked the motion with his finger on the soft skin of the back of her hand.
“I’d just like to know you, Honor.”
Know me? Whatever.
How would he feel when he heard just how little she had? It could be for the best. It was one thing to accept his help for her son. Once he figured out how different their worlds really were, maybe he’d go back to chasing something more in his league. Honor let out a breath.
“Well, okay, if you really want to know?”
His hand tightened on hers. “I really do, sweetheart.”
“Fine. In very short form.”
She tilted her chin with a ra
ised eyebrow, a silent warning for him not to press for more than that. Honor couldn’t believe she was getting ready to dive into her sordid past. There were just parts she wanted to forget, but to do that she’d have to come across as ungrateful for the one thing in her life that mattered most. Her life lessons were learned the hard way, graduating from the school of hard knocks was not in her life’s plan, but that was how it all had come down.
Focusing on taking steady breaths, she stared into the red wine in her glass, trying to find the best place to start her story, hoping the words would come to her in the deep burgundy liquid. She took a deep swallow of the liquid courage and started.
“I guess you’d have to say everything all boils back down to parents. My sperm donor was gone the minute my mother informed him that she was pregnant. She spent the rest of her life doing two things—making sure I knew that men were worthless, and beating into me that to get ahead in life I didn’t need one. That they were only good for what was between their legs and that would only last two minutes, and maybe eighteen years.”
He sucked in a sharp hiss, the astonishment of her statement left him reeling. “Ah, Honor, how jaded. I’m so sorry.”
She shrugged. It wasn’t like her mother was a downer, she just had very definite views on the subject, and from earliest memory, Honor knew where her mother stood on the subject of boys, then men.
“That’s the biggest reason she got me into dance.”
He grinned, the hazel in his eyes warming back up again. “Ah, a dancer?”
She nodded. That was a previous life.
“I knew there was something about you, something I couldn’t put my finger on. But it’s in the way you move, the way you hold yourself. It’s different. So graceful.”
Honor let out a quiet snort. “I imagine so. Something I couldn’t break if I tried, I suppose. That’s what happens after eighteen years of ballet training.”
“A ballerina?” His mouth turned into a cheeky smile.
Somewhere between proud and impressed, she assumed. Again she nodded, with a flat indifference in her motions. She never let herself think of how great she could have been, of what she could have achieved, and other than Dallas, there was nothing about her to be impressed with.