by Amy Gregory
“Here, let me help you. Where do you want to go?” Brody asked after grabbing one handle.
“Ah…let’s go out on the deck.”
“Mommy, Aunt Emery, Aunt Honor,” Alex said bounding into the large kitchen.
Two words sobered Honor up, even before her name finished rolling off Alex’s tongue.
The little curly blonde hugged Emery then skipped over to Honor. With her foot on the rung of the bar stool, she gripped and grabbed at Honor’s arm and leg, trying to climb her way up onto her lap. Honor wasted no time in picking up the little girl who had claimed her and Dallas within minutes of arriving in Pennsylvania. Trying to cover up the sudden pain washing over her, she had to exert a lot of effort into faking the sing-songy voice children needed in order to know everything was all right in the world.
“Hi, sugar.”
Honor tucked the little girl into her and blinked the tears back. In another time, that would have been the most amazing feeling in the world—to be included so warmly and openly. The title of aunt, bestowed on her by the innocent little pixie, should have made her want to soar. Instead, it hurt like hell.
Alex straddled Honor’s lap and was lying up against her. Honor tilted her head, tucking herself in closer to little Alex, her hair falling forward as she did. Between the two of them, their long curls combined and surrounded them in a shield of sorts. Honor could feel the little fist in her hair, holding on just like Dallas had done as a toddler each and every time she held him. The habit stuck with him well past kindergarten.
Breathe…in…out.
She forced herself to sit and hold the angel no matter how much it hurt to want more and know she couldn’t have it. It was the little head that lay against her thigh was almost her downfall.
Jack’s masculine head and shoulder ‘lean-into-you’ hug, was all he gave her, but with it he’d granted her precious acceptance. She patted his back with one hand and held Alex tight to her with the other, praying the little girl didn’t move. If she did, everyone in the whole room would see the threatening tears she was hiding.
On the opposite side of Alex, a voice in her ear whispered from behind as Karen squeezed her shoulders. “It’s going to all work out, honey, don’t you worry. I promise.” Her voice. Calm and soothing, saying the words she desperately needed to hear, even if they weren’t true.
“We love you,” she said, and kissed her on the back of the head.
The air escaped her lungs. Those three words, the support, the love and laughter—God, she just wanted it all so bad it hurt.
Honor peered over her shoulder toward Karen. “Love you too,” she whispered. Karen tucked a strand of hair behind Honor’s ear and the will to keep them back failed, a single tear ran down her cheek.
“Oh, sweetie.”
Jack had left her side, so Karen moved into the vacant space and pulled Honor into her chest, with Alex still attached. There weren’t any words to make it stop hurting, weren’t any words Karen could give her to make everything perfect. But the hug was enough for now. Words would have just broken the dam, and she’d have been a crying mess for Eli’s party.
The door flew open and Jesse came rushing through. “Crap, I barely made it. They are coming up the main road.”
“What’d you do to beat them and not be seen? Drive through the field?” With a hand on her hip, Emery tilted her chin with smirk at her husband.
He grinned like a little boy with a toy truck. Except his was much bigger. He shrugged, his boyish charm going a long way to raise Honor’s spirits. “Well…what’s the use of four-wheel drive if you’re not gonna use it.”
The men all high-fived like some great manly feat had been accomplished, while she and the rest of the women all looked at him as if they were insane. It was just what Honor needed to clear her tears. She reached for her glass and held it up to Jesse. He winked before she took a long pull from it.
His gaze lingered on her for a long, unnerving moment before he nodded. Honor had no idea how he seemed to sense the turmoil she was swimming in, but she couldn’t seem to escape his brown eyes. She could appreciate the deep-seated loyalty he had toward Eli, but Jesse’s ability to lovingly warn her without a single word only made her feel like a thief for taking the affection Eli offered her.
Breaking the eye contact that no one else noticed, Jesse clapped his hands. “So, come on, are we hiding or what?”
The three children squealed with excitement at the suggestion, and Honor lost her pixie to the fun of surprising her Uncle Eli.
The adults all ran through the house shutting off most of the lights and hushing each other as chuckles and giggles erupted. Brody’s elbow slipped and caught Honor in the ribs thanks to the small space they’d claimed together on the narrow side of the island.
“Uff. Ow.” It smarted, but the situation was so comical she had to laugh.
“Oh, shit, Honor. I’m so sorry.”
A kitchen full of whispered hushes only made Honor laugh harder.
Brody put his finger to his mouth. “Shh.” The staccato mixed in revealed his snickering. “We’re going to get in trouble.”
Hearing the door handle turn, everyone jumped from their chosen hiding spots yelling “Surprise!”
There are times when it’s obvious that someone full well knows about the plan, but goes along with it anyway. However, Eli’s expression was in no way, shape, or form…faked. He was completely shocked. The three youngest partygoers came tearing at him, laughing loudly and talking a mile-a-minute. Bending down with his arms spread, he caught them all.
Looking around the kitchen with a wide smile, he spotted the blushing smile of the girl he wanted most to see.
Movement broke the eye-contact he had with Honor while he was still standing dazed in the doorway. As Dallas sneaked up from behind him, Eli caught him handing Carter a cell phone. “Son? Were you in on this?” He asked with a dropped jaw. “The whole arcade trip? All of it?”
Carter clasped Dallas’s shoulders. “This, my good friend, was an integral part of the scheme. Without him, none of this would have happened.”
Dallas was beaming in Carter’s hold, and Eli glanced at Honor in time to see her wink at her son.
With Alex in one arm, Eli made his way around the kitchen saying his hellos and thank-yous, finally ending up standing in front of the woman he thought was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. He kissed Alex’s cheek and set her down to go sneak another chip.
Eli smiled, taking Honor’s hand to pull her along behind him, looking for a corner of privacy.
“Careful with her, Hunter,” James said with a wicked laugh. “She’s a tad um…inebriated, son.”
“Good. Just the way I like her. She’s a talker when she’s drunk,” he replied with a twinkle in his eye.
Finding quiet in his office at the front of the house, he left the overhead light off so as not to draw attention to them. The room was darkened, but the light spilling in from the kitchen and living room was enough to see each other. Walking further in, Eli turned and leaned up against the dark cherry desk with his legs outstretched in front of him. Threading his fingers through the belt loops of her tight jeans, he pulled her in close to settle between his legs.
She wore shorts or jeans every day, and this was by far his favorite pair. Just tight enough in all the right places and one knee was ripped. Something about seeing that hint of skin peeking through the denim was tortuous to him. The simple fitted white T and long auburn curls made her the quintessential girl next door.
It was those violet eyes that got him though, especially when her worries weren’t clouding her beautiful face. Big, sparkling, and full of love.
“I can’t believe you did all this for me,” he said and released one hand to rest it on her lower back, easing her closer.
At the contact, he inhaled sharply.
Maybe it was too close. She was looking at him, her eyes wide and fixed on his. He was willing himself to behave, but the involuntary twitch was just
that…involuntary. Judging by her rapid blinking, she felt it too.
Expecting her to jump back three paces, he watched her intently, and she held still. The hollow of her neck betrayed her racing pulse, and her shallow breathing was just barely audible.
She might be fighting the direction they were headed, but there was no denying that she wanted him just as badly as he wanted her. His gaze dropped from her eyes to her lips at the very moment the tip of her tongue darted out to touch her top lip. Nerves or preparation…he wasn’t sure, but he was damned sure he was going to find out.
“Thank you so much for putting this all together, sweetheart.”
“I had a tremendous amount of help. Especially since, until last night, I didn’t even know that your birthday is today. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”
Her voice was quiet, and her smile was shy and timid.
“Well, um…sorry?” He shrugged with an impish grin.
“Oh, sell that line to someone else, mister.” Honor giggled and swayed.
“Whoa, baby. So…how much did you have anyway?” He bit his lip to keep from laughing.
It wasn’t fair to use her alcohol consumption against her, but he learned the first week she was with him, it dramatically lowered her walls. She would tell him things and show him her true feelings, the ones she kept hidden so she wouldn’t get hurt. Eli figured out she was slow to trust, so he had worked overtime to earn that. Her marriage burned her badly, and Eli was willing to pay the price for the sins of her late husband.
Tuesday was closing in on him like doomsday, the pit in his stomach churning brutally at the thought of her boarding that damned plane. They hadn’t discussed it, not even mentioned in passing since she first arrived at the airport almost four weeks earlier. It was a subject he just wanted to blissfully ignore, and hopefully, she’d forget.
Forget to go home? Who the fuck was he kidding?
The beautiful, sweet, and very fragile, underneath her steel exterior, woman—standing excruciatingly close to his crotch—was his. But they hadn’t discussed the future. He didn’t want to bring it up for fear of what her answer would be, and instead he stayed content in his bubble where she was by his side. He dropped any mention of the contract and ignored hints from James, Carter, and Brody.
Her polite smiles were an answer that hurt too much to question. So…he didn’t.
Eli rubbed her back, keeping her close, feeling the heat from her hips burn his thighs, as her hands lightly braced her against his chest.
He wanted this, wanted her, more than he wanted his next breath.
After he’d woken in her bed early this morning, wanting her was all he could think about—her body next to his, her skin against his, and how much he wanted that for the rest of his life.
“Thank you so much, Honor. This party means so much to me.”
“I just wish I’d had the time to get you a gift. I feel awful, especially after how much you’ve done for Dallas, and…um…well. Just how much you’ve done for…us.”
“I don’t need a gift, sweetheart.”
This was the best birthday ever as far as Eli was concerned. He hadn’t been to an arcade since he was a kid, and sharing that with Dallas had been a hoot. They laughed and threatened each other and then took turns aiming for high scores. But it was knowing that Honor was at home waiting for him that was the best feeling in the world. Walking in and seeing the party she’d coordinated was beyond anything he could have asked for.
“It’s your birthday, everyone should have a gift on their birthday.”
A better man wouldn’t do what he was about to, but that man wasn’t standing where he was, holding the woman he wanted.
“Tell you what.” He winked. “I know what you can give me for my birthday.”
The palm on her back urged her closer yet. Her dizzy state made her hands slip and she fell closer, her chest against his.
She swallowed. He could feel the staccato of her breath come across his face.
“What…can I give…you..?” she asked, the dawning and hesitation in her voice.
Eli released the tight hold he still had with one hand on her belt loop and slowly ran his palm up her side, gliding across her shoulder to her face. Running a thumb across the satin of her cheek, he cradled her neck, and let his lips hover over hers.
“Kiss me.” His voice was low and laced with need.
She wasn’t drunk enough to be oblivious and out of control. But he knew she wasn’t sober enough to fight the attraction. That hint of alcohol was just enough to give her the courage to want what he could give her. She deserved to be taken care of, to be protected, and loved. He could do that. He would give her everything if she would just give him a chance.
“For…your…birthday.” She whispered against his mouth.
“No…because you want to, Honor.”
Eli felt her take a deep breath, felt it across his lips as she slowly released it, and then when he fully expected her to pull away, she melted into him. Her lips pressed against his.
He met her halfway and then took over.
A wave of need rushed through him, and he lost all thoughts of where they were or the party going on around them. With his hand at the back of her head, he tilted her for more access. His tongue tasted her lips and at the last second, she parted them. Immediately his tongue swept inside, tasting the remnants of the citrus that afforded him this kiss. Honor laced her arms around his neck, and he took it deeper, pulling her between his legs and possessing her.
The need he lived with every waking moment surged to the surface. He tried to keep the need tamped down to prevent scaring her away, but this woman was everything he wanted and more.
He broke away from her lips, kissed his way across her jaw, and down her neck. Burying his face in her neck, Eli breathed in deeply, taking a long dizzying pull of her sweet perfume. The light scent would be ingrained forever in his memory.
Without moving, he spoke against the soft skin of her neck. “God, you mean the world to me.” Straightening, he gently brushed the hair out of her eyes. “I hope you know that, Honor. I’d do anything for you.”
Her eyes dropped to the collar on his t-shirt, her hands slid back down from his neck to rest on his chest.
Tipping her chin back up with his finger, he forced her gaze back on his. “Sweetheart…you do know that, don’t you?” Eli asked quietly, his stomach lurching.
“Eli—“
The patter of little feet running on the tile floor echoed through the entryway, the sound coming closer as the little voices squealed their names.
“Uncle E, Aunt Honor, Uncle E, Aunt Honor.” The two distinct voices were heard before they could be seen, but Eli watched the cloud of emotions wash over Honor’s face.
Her forced smile couldn’t mask the pain. Then it dawned on him what Jack and Alex were calling her. Before he could question her, she turned in his hold and bent down to help Alex into her arms.
“It’s time to eat, Aunt Honor. Grandpa said to come get the birthday boy.”
“He did, did he? Well, we better go eat so we can have some of that yummy cake your Aunt Erin made, huh?”
Eli listened and immediately caught onto her enthusiasm. Years of practiced joy for another young child were so apparent it broke his heart. The way she could be so upset yet able to keep it hidden so well was almost more than Eli could take. No one should have had to live like that, and for years. Yet, Dallas turned out to be a fabulous young man because of her selflessness.
“Come on little man.” Eli threw Jack over his shoulder to carry him like a giggling, wiggly sack of potatoes. “Let’s go get some tacos.”
Walking into the front hall side-by-side, each with a twin in their hold, Eli leaned over and quickly kissed Honor’s cheek. She turned and graced him with a hesitant smile. He winked to answer, hoping that she understood they needed to finish their conversation. “I hope my young, impressionable babies didn’t see anything they shouldn’t,” Carter said loud
ly, but laughed hard enough to choke on the swig of beer he took after his insinuation.
The teasing they encountered when they entered the open kitchen immediately stained her cheeks. Glancing at her embarrassed smirk, he relaxed. The hoots and hollers and whispered dirty comments said with little ears covered showed no mercy. She had been accepted into his family with open arms. As one of their own, she was fair game to the teasing and laughter.
“Nothing like what I’ve seen you do to Molly, Mr. Sterling.”
The good-hearted woman gracefully rolled with it and was even able to give back as good as she got, earning her high-fives and hugs from the female side of the kitchen.
Just as he relaxed from the panic she’d caused him in the office, Eli caught the connection between Honor and Molly when his friend placed a full glass of alcohol in Honor’s hand. The silent question was obvious to him. She’d been wondering if Honor was all right. But when Honor’s smile from joking with Carter faded, and she nodded at Molly’s tilted head, he knew they’d talked.
His stomach dropped. A ripple of heat and fear washed across his skin. A sixth sense about the conversation he wanted to have with Honor flashed through him. He had questions he had wanted to ask, but now dreaded the prospect. He knew the answers.
She wasn’t staying.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
She was trying to hold it together. After the kiss at the party, something happened, a shift in their relationship, or whatever it was they had.
Friendship, relationship, more than acquaintances, hell it didn’t matter, whatever it was it was strained. It was as if suddenly, even without the words, he knew she couldn’t stay. Instead of pulling away, which would have been a thousand times easier, he tightened his grip on her heart.
The touches she’d become used to from the first night, became more frequent, and not subtle in the least. Before he’d been careful to keep their attraction private. She assumed to be cautious about Dallas’s feelings. Now though, it was as if he wanted Dallas to see how he felt for her. Hidden kisses, that before that night, he would have placed near her ear in the guise of telling her a secret—were no longer secret. Her cheek, her hand, her head, and twice when she hadn’t been expecting it, he’d kissed her on the lips with Dallas in the room.