by Amy Gregory
Eli remembered that feeling—that place of peace. It was something he could only feel and could never explain. He always assumed it was the same as a stage for an actress, a pool for a swimmer, or the diamond for a ballplayer.
There was nothing like waking on race day, walking in the freshly tilled dirt, and memorizing the curves, jumps, and lines. The smell of each track was different. The dirt varied from state to state. The adrenaline rush never changes. It was always the same.
He remembered his past as he held the picture in his hands, and remembered years of growing up with Carter and Jesse on those same tracks. He remembered flashes of the good times, and for the first time…he remembered them without longing for the past.
Eli saw his future in that picture of a little boy’s past.
In that sterling frame he was holding, was a picture of a boy who was now his son. The boy who claimed him before they’d ever met. The boy he’d watched from a distance, grow as a rider over the last couple of years, the boy who by fate’s design had brought him Honor.
“God, I love this kid.” He said still smiling at the picture, not even really aware he’d said the words out loud until he heard Honor take a deep breath.
“I know you do.”
Eli glanced up to see the tears glistening in Honor’s eyes.
“Oh…no, sweetheart. No more tears. Only good things from now on. I promise.”
“I know. I’m just so thankful I found you.”
“That makes two of us, baby.”
He carefully laid the picture back on top of the stack to finish wrapping and packing in the morning. He stood back up, his knees cracking and popping along the way, and with Honor’s hands in his he brought her up to stand too. Running his palms up and down her bare arms, he looked deep into the dark purple that fascinated him at first sight. She was his now and, tonight for the first time, he’d make sure she knew just how much he wanted her.
“I love you, sweetheart.”
“I love you, too.”
Eli had spent every night lying awake in his bed with her just across the hall and wishing he could make her his, praying he could show her how much he loved her. Imagining her with his sheets wrapped around her body and her long curls fanning out over his pillows. God help him, he wanted to take his time and savor this moment, to make it last and take care of her every need, but he was too far gone. He’d wanted her for too long.
Staring into her eyes, watching the hollow of her neck, hearing the change in her breathing, desire took over, and he knew need surpassed desire.
“Honor,” he said, his voice deeper, huskier.
She didn’t answer. Instead, she pushed up his t-shirt.
There was a God and he had given him the perfect woman. She understood exactly what they both needed. There would be time for slow later. There would be time for soft words tomorrow. Because forever was theirs. Now all he could think about was getting her undressed as fast as possible.
He reached with his arms crossed and yanked his shirt off, not paying a bit of attention to where it landed because as it went over his head covering his face…he felt fingers at the first button of his jeans.
Letting her try to work the button-fly, Eli went to work removing her clothes, much more interested in revealing what had been hidden from him all this time. He bunched the sides of her soft cotton shirt in his fists as he leaned into the curve of her neck, running the tip of his tongue along the slope. Her head slowly fell to the side, offering more of her to him. The smoldering heat he tried to keep tamped down all this time, instantly became a roaring blaze.
With his palms lightly pressing against her, Eli pushed her shirt up her sides, the cotton making its way up and over her breasts. His mouth left her skin only for the briefest of moments. With the shirt gone, there was more of her to explore and kiss. Her skin was smooth as fine silk, and as he kissed his way back up her neck and jaw to her lips, the tiniest of moans escaped from her. Eli brought both hands to her face, cradled her head, and placed a soft kiss on her lips.
Pulling back, he continued to hold her in his grasp as he gazed at her through heavy-lidded eyes.
“Honor…I love you so much.”
Her hands came up to grip his forearms, her expression desperate. “Don’t ever stop telling me that, Eli…please.”
Her words were merely a soft-spoken plea, but they twisted in his stomach. Not once had she asked him for anything. Yet, with that one statement, he saw the foundation of her walls start to crumble. She’d been fiercely independent from the moment they met, but standing in his arms, her vulnerability was visible through the cracks in her armor. She needed him, and Eli had never felt more alive.
“Oh, sweetheart, you never have to worry about that. I’ll love you ’til the day I die. I promise.”
With that declaration, he swept her up in his arms and placed her on the bed. Unzipping her shorts, he quickly did away with the barely there denim leaving her in nothing but white cotton panties and a matching bra. Both were trimmed in tiny pink bows, but other than that, it was simple, sweet, and so very much her.
He made a slow pass down her nearly naked body and back up with hungry eyes. Her chest was heaving with quick breaths, and Eli watched her swallow hard. She bent one leg at the knee, and Eli could tell she was fighting like hell not to cover herself from his gaze. Without taking his eyes off his fiancée, he rapidly undid his jeans and pushed them to the ground.
“Commando, eh?”
The fire in her eyes and the grin on her lips as she teased him only stoked the matching flame within him. The nerves were still evident by her shivers and timid smile, but the teasing went a long way to relaxing her.
Eli narrowed his eyes while fighting a smile and wiggled his eyebrows with a wicked You’re mine, girl attitude as he blanketed her body with his. Pulling in a deep breath at the skin-to-skin contact, he closed his eyes and savored the moment. Her leg came around his and aligned their bodies, perfectly. Eli moved ever so slightly and felt the hiss of her breath against his shoulder right before she kissed his skin and ran the tip of her tongue hesitantly along his collarbone.
Her fingertips lightly ran over his skin, the touch so sweet, Eli didn’t think he’d be able to hang on long enough to get inside her.
“I promise to be quiet so we don’t wake our boy, but God…I need you now.”
He pulled back enough to watch her struggle to open her eyes, the tip of her tongue still touching her top lip.
“Baby, long shot here, but do you have any condoms?”
Honor blinked multiple times, his question apparently not registering.
“Sweetheart, I’m not going to last.” He listened to her choppy breathing, stared into the purple of her eyes, so dark it was almost black.
“Pill.”
It was his turn to decipher her words…or lack thereof. “Honor?”
“Eli…please.”
How his world had changed in twelve hours. Eli sucked in a breath. Growing up in a sport where life could change on a dime, he experienced that moment of hell firsthand. Eli knew how fragile life was, how plans could be altered in the blink of an eye.
He had gone to bed last night sick to his stomach. He drove to the airport this morning ready to throw up. Eli watched the love of his life walk away with the boy he’d grown to love as his own then sat numbly in a crowded airport unable to comprehend how to move on with his heart broken.
On blind faith, he dropped to his knees and begged.
Now he had his ring on her finger. She was his, his to love, his to protect, and his to take care of. His. All was made right with the world in twelve long hours. It was more than right with her in his arms. It was perfect.
He had never, not once, entered a woman without a condom, but now as he breathed in and out heavily, Eli slowly pushed himself up to kneel between her legs. Stopping to take a long look at his woman lying on the bed before him, without a doubt in the world he knew she was the answer to all his prayers. Moving like
she was made of glass, he gently removed the last two pieces of fabric still covering her.
The window was open and the curtains blew with the light evening breeze. The small pleas and soft moans floated over the spring night. For the first time, he took in the perfect graceful dancer’s body he had fallen in love with. For the first time he kissed every part of her. Her skin smelled sweetly of her light perfume and tasted faintly of salt as a thin layer of need broke out and dusted her skin. With one hand, she fisted the sheets beneath her, with the other she tried to hurry him. Rubbing her palm up and down his back, and then finally frustrated, she gripped his biceps.
Without meaning to give her an advantage, he shifted and instantly she wrapped both legs around his waist. Eli was worried he was pushing her too fast, pressuring her into making life-altering decisions without giving her a chance to stop and think. He’d offered her his world without asking her if it was what she really wanted. The instant her legs wrapped around him and she pulled him closer with her arms, he knew what she wanted was him.
She wasn’t holding anything back, she was all in—all his.
With her body begging him for more, he centered himself and bracketed her with his arms.
“Sweetheart, I’ll love you forever.” He slowly slid deeper into her with each spoken word.
Her face tensed. She sucked in a deep breath and held it for a long moment then let it out before gasping for more air. Worried he’d been too rough, Eli stilled for a split-second before taking her cues to move faster, then faster yet. Her fingers gripped his upper arms so tightly, he knew she’d leave marks. He’d never been more proud.
Honor said his name through clenched teeth. He could see how close she was to the edge, and her desire pulled him closer. Her fingertips dug into his shoulder blades, and her legs tightened around him. Watching her face, her eyes squeezed shut, and her jaw set, Eli started to move faster—deeper.
The headboard hit the wall and he froze, wide-eyed, staring down at her.
Her eyes flew open wide mirroring his own. Then she snickered. Eli was desperately trying not to laugh, but he had not locked the bedroom door. In hindsight, it was a mistake on his part, but this was a first for him, and he was going to have to get used to having a child in the house at all times. Eli did not want Dallas seeing him butt-ass naked on top of his mother. That was for damned sure.
Underneath him, Honor was losing her battle with the giggles.
“Shhhh,” he said with laughter in his voice.
“I can’t…help…it.” She said, the fit of giggles making her reply come out in staccato splices.
“If you wake him up, I’m gonna beat you, girl,” he teased.
It was the wrong thing to say because the lid on her laughter flew off.
Eli winked. “Shh…Sweetheart.”
Honor hushed him back then stuck her tongue out at him.
Eli moved again, but much gentler trying to keep the headboard from announcing their late night activities. The more he moved, the more Honor smiled and laughed. The more she laughed, the more he chuckled and grinned.
What started out as carnal need, quickly morphed into playful loving. The speed and roughness of moments before, was replaced by tenderness and teasing. The playful banter and hushes continued as Eli held the woman who brought light back into his life, tightly in his arms.
“I love you so much, Honor.”
“I love you too, E—“
Her words stilled once more through gritted teeth. Eli pressed on, pushing her toward pleasure. A few quick movements later, and he followed her into oblivion.
He collapsed to the side of her and pulled her close.
Eli always swore the happiest place in the world was on a track. He was wrong. Opening his eyes to the love written across Honor’s face and knowing it was for him alone, was heaven. Lying next to her naked and spent, made him the luckiest man alive because he would get to wake up and have her next to him from now on.
He tucked her into his side and laced the fingers of her left hand in his. With their hands linked together and stretched out before them, he eyed the ring on her finger and chuckled.
He had rushed to the ticket counter at the airport and bought a ticket for the first outbound plane to Nashville the airline had. Then he’d bought the ring.
“I’ll get you a real ring as soon as we get home,” he said, smiling at the pale lavender stone wired by hand onto the sterling silver band.
“I don’t want a new ring, Eli,” Honor said, curling her fingers and trying to pull her hand from his as if he might try to take a prized possession away from her.
“Sweetheart, I bought that as a gesture. There was this little gal selling them in the airport back home. I had no intentions of that being your engagement ring, but I wasn’t going to wait one more second to get to you.”
“But—”
“No, Honor…I’m getting you a real ring. It’s sterling, if you want to keep wearing it on another finger, you go right ahead. But I’m buying my wife the real ring.”
She twisted in his hold to look up at him. The purple was sparkling so bright her eyes looked like jewels.
“Your wife.” She breathed out.
The smile dancing across her face said what words couldn’t. She was so full of love he could feel it radiating off her, but when she wrapped her arms around him tightly and hung on, laughing as she kissed his neck, jaw and finally his lips—he melted.
His lips curved against hers. “You’ll always be mine, sweetheart. Always.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
For two days she and Eli scrambled, laughed, packed, and made arrangements that allowed her and Dallas to leave their old lives behind and start fresh in Pennsylvania.
Her one concern would be Dallas’s schooling. Would Karen home school him? Even though Eli insisted the request wasn’t going to be a big deal, she still would rather have had the conversation in person. Since timing was against them, she and Eli made the call to Karen and James. At first they were ecstatic about their news, and with the phone on the kitchen table set to speaker, Eli held her close as they heard the couple, who were more like Eli’s parents than friends, congratulate them and tell them to hurry up and come back home.
Honor gripped his hand between both of hers as Eli cleared his throat and asked Karen if she’d be willing to homeschool Dallas. In answer, the older woman broke down in tears. There was still enough joy in her voice to know they were happy tears, maybe even relief or proud tears. Whatever the case, it was the answer to all of Honor’s prayers.
When he was with Karen, Dallas became the student she’d always known he could be. She now had proof he wasn’t any of the things his public school said he was. He learned differently, and Karen could reach him. Now that their lives were changing so much, and Dallas wouldn’t ever have to worry about it being a temporary situation, Honor knew her son would soar.
Although it felt like days ago, glancing at her watch told her it had only been a few hours since the three of them went to Dallas’s school, formally checked him out, and gathered his belongings. She had never seen her son so happy, and it wasn’t about moving away from the school as much as introducing his dad to all the other kids in his class.
Walking from room-to-room of the tiny ranch-style house, she smiled. She knew she’d never forget that moment for as long as she lived. The day, the sunshine, the classroom, and where they were all standing at that precise moment would be forever etched in her mind. Eli beamed when he heard the word come out of Dallas’s mouth in front of the class, and it was all she could do not to break down and cry right there.
Life had been such a whirlwind that no one had discussed the technicalities of Eli becoming Dallas’s stepfather.
She knew how they felt about each other, and it felt natural hearing the title. Eli had always called Dallas buddy or son, just as she always did. Honor always assumed they were just nicknames of sort, but seeing him with his arm draped around Dallas’s shoulders standing in t
hat classroom, she realized he had fallen very much in love with him, too. It wasn’t by blood, and it was rocket fast, but they had defined their relationship and set it in stone.
They were father and son, as simple as that.
Honor’s heart continued to swell as she thought about it, turning in a slow circle in the middle of the compact living room. Really looking at the white walls of her small house, the house that had always been just that, a house. She decided to leave the bad memories behind, vowing to not let those pictures haunt her ever again after she shut the front door for the last time. The house was Mac’s now. The next time she stood in that living room to visit, his belongings would fill it, and there would be new memories made.
To say she had been nervous to announce their plans to Mac would have been an understatement. Her bald giant surprised her though. It was like watching years of worry melt off his face right in front of her. Mac had always been a nice, laid back guy, quiet with an easy-going smile. After the news though, it was as if he was twenty years younger, lighter and freer than she’d ever known him to be.
Holding a hand to her lips, she pushed the guilt back down because Mac told her to. He made her promise to never let her thoughts go there. It was the only thing he ever asked of her.
Thinking back to the first time she’d met Mac, Honor knew he always worried about her and Dallas. Seeing him and Eli together as they loaded boxes into Mac’s truck, hearing the jokes as they made trips in and out of the house, she could tell Mac was a different man. He wasn’t worried anymore. Mac knew Eli would take care of her and Dallas, and his job was done. He was free to just be the fun, cool uncle. Free to move on with his life, and free to have his own family.