Rafael moved forward to the edge of the chair. “You don’t know what it feels like to be powerless to save those you love. You want so much to go back and erase the past and start over. But I learned a long time ago that isn’t possible. At twelve I was betrothed and swore I would protect my future wife always. I would let no harm come to her. But I wasn’t able to keep my promise, she was taken from me. I learned my lessons the hard way. Now I rule the hacienda with an iron hand. I will not fail those around me again.”
Gaby scooted forward, kneeling before him. She took his hands in hers. “You didn’t fail anyone. You did what you had to do, just as Anna did. Just as we all do. We are all responsible for our own actions. Anna chose to go visiting that day, and she chose to use her body as a shield to protect your son.”
She wanted to add, ‘just as I had chosen to take your horse that day fearing my brother had been injured,’ but now was not the time. Perhaps one day he would understand, as she now understood, his propensity to protect.
“Your words offer too simple of a solution. Their deaths are my fault and will remain so.”
Tears misted Gaby’s eyes. He would never forgive himself. Time would be his healer or his enemy.
Rafael slipped his hands away from hers and reached up to run his finger along her cheek. It was silky soft and warm. He ached to bring his lips to hers, to taste the excitement for life that flowed through her. She offered solace from the pain... a pain that had haunted him for the last eight years. He could lose himself in her, or perhaps find himself and reaffirm his own driving thirst for life.
She turned her face into the palm of his hand and rubbed her cheek against its roughness. Her eyes were almost closed, her lips partially open. He only needed to lean down and run his tongue along her plump bottom lip and then... they both would be lost.
Rafael pulled his hand away and Gaby’s eyes sprung open. Their darkness shined from their recent tears, and he could almost see himself mirrored in them, as though she had captured him forever.
“Don’t touch my things again!” he snapped. “And stay out of my study.”
She stood, hands on hips, looking down at him. “You ordered me to clean your study.”
“An obvious mistake,” he reiterated standing.
She grinned, realizing he had once again erected his defense shield, something she was determined to see permanently removed. “Then I’m forbidden to touch anything in here again?”
“Correct.”
Gaby lifted her brown skirt so she could watch where she stepped and avoid the scattered books and papers.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
“To join Lupe for her late-night snack.”
“Not until you’ve finished cleaning this mess.”
Her grin widened even more and lit her entire face with humor. “But you’ve forbidden me to touch anything.”
Rafael couldn’t help but smile at how easily he had fallen into her trap. “Not only is your tongue sharp, but so is you wit.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” she laughed.
He enjoyed their verbal sparring. She was a worthy opponent, an unusual trait for a woman, but one he realized he liked... liked very much. “Take it as you wish, but clean this mess.”
Gaby was pleased to see the slight grin that edged his lips. It was almost as though he battled with the smile that fought to free itself. She walked toward him. “You must make up your mind.”
Rafael took one step forward and stood a breath away from her. His partially open white shirt grazed her nipples, sending a shiver through her and raising the warm flesh along her arms. She was aware that he purposely remained silent, waiting for her to lift her head and look at him. She was afraid, afraid of what she’d see in his eyes and what he’d see in hers. She lifted her head.
Blue heat—the hot and searing kind—the kind that makes one sweat, pant, ache. That was the color that radiated from Rafael’s eyes when he looked at her.
“I have made up my mind.”
He left then, not waiting for her response, not repeating his demand that she clean the room. Gaby stood still, her head bent, her fingers clenching her skirt. He would have her. One way or the other, he would have her.
~~~
Rafael stared out into the dark night. He stood next to the low adobe wall, one foot resting upon it while his arm lay across his bent knee. He listened to the familiar chorus of the night. The crickets with their sharp, never-ending cry; the owls with their soft, cooing hoot; the distant, lonely howl of the coyote—he focused on all of them, fighting to keep Gaby’s image from his mind.
It didn’t work. She floated persistently before him. Tears stained her cheeks, passion filled her eyes, and her smile tore at his heart.
No one had ever dared speak to him about Anna and Ramon. He had buried the tragedy deep within himself the day he had laid them both to rest. It was over and done... until tonight. She had forced him to confront the past, open it, and relive it. She had thought to explain away his guilt with mere words, but it wasn’t that easy. His pain was too great, his fault too obvious and his sorrow too deep.
He shut his eyes and stiffened against the vision that assaulted him. He held his tiny son, wrapped in a small white blanket, in his arms. A man motioned to him and he stepped forward. He kissed his son’s covered forehead and placed his body in the pine box. The lid slid across it and the first nail was driven in.
Rafael’s eyes flew open, his chest heaved, and a single tear stung his eye though he would not let it fall. “Gaby, I need you.”
His body and mind warred. His mind warning him against such foolish action, his body insisting he would find peace within her warmth and innocence.
He remained where he stood, staring out into the emptiness of the night.
Chapter Nine
“I’ll help anyway I can,” Eduardo Ortega said agreeably, reaching for one of the thick cigars Rafael offered him from an intricately carved box.
Rafael snapped the lid closed, not taking one himself and returned it to the desk. “I appreciate your support.”
“Padre Manuel’s murderer must be found,” Eduardo emphasized before clipping the end off the cigar. “Have you learned anymore of this man Padre Jose has told you about?”
Rafael leaned back in his chair behind the desk. “Unfortunately, no, he seems to have vanished without anyone having ever seen him arrive in town or leave.”
“Strange. The townspeople know all that goes on in Los Angeles. It is odd that none but Padre Jose saw this man.”
Rafael agreed with a nod. “There is much that disturbs me about this incident.”
“What do you mean?”
Rafael sat forward and leaned his arms on the desk. “I feel there is something that Padre Jose is hiding from me, information that Padre Manuel passed on to him. Information that was valuable enough to kill for.”
“Perhaps the padre never gave this information to the murderer.”
Rafael shook his head. “No, he’d still be alive. The padre told him. Unfortunately, I think the padre offered more information than he should have.”
“Meaning?” Eduardo asked, moving forward in his seat.
“Meaning the murderer didn’t want to take the chance of anyone else discovering what the padre had told him.”
Eduardo moved back in his seat and casually puffed on his cigar. “This all seems preposterous. Perhaps it is as simple as the murderer not liking the penance the padre gave him in the confessional.”
Rafael’s features hardened and his voice grew taut with annoyance. “The type of man Padre Jose described does not go to confession. He cares little for life, has no morals, and would kill without regret.”
“You describe a renegade.”
“Who else would have the audacity to kill a priest?”
Eduardo remained silent for a moment and when once again he looked up, Rafael was surprised to see fear in the old man’s eyes. “Do you know what you’re saying, Rafae
l?”
Rafael gave a slight nod.
Eduardo shook his head and crushed the remainder of the cigar in the glass dish. “You cannot actually believe someone in Los Angles hired that man to kill the padre?”
“No, not Los Angeles, someone from the padre’s past, someone to whom he had entrusted a secret, someone who now wants that secret silenced... forever.”
“This sounds like a puzzle that will be difficult to solve.”
“A puzzle is solved when all the pieces are identified and brought together to fit perfectly. It may take time, but I’m sure all the pieces will eventually fall into place.”
Eduardo’s smile faltered as he stood. “Again, whatever I can do to help, just ask.”
Rafael also stood and extended his hand. “I never once doubted that I could depend on your support.”
The two men shook hands, Rafael wondering why Eduardo’s grip was not as firm or confident as usual.
“Let us speak of more pleasant things,” Eduardo offered.
Rafael stiffened. “A drink?” he asked, knowing exactly what was on the older man’s mind.
Eduardo grinned, his cheeks puffing full. “Does talk of my daughter upset you that much?”
Rafael leaned back against his desk, folding his arms across his chest. “My mother’s continuous renewed health brings with it the return of her motherly duties, one being that she is responsible for finding me a wife. She never fails to remind me of Louisa’s beauty, charm, and how uniting the two ranches would make the Cabrillo holdings the largest in all of California.”
“You’re mother is correct, and I have but one question for you.”
“Which is?” Rafael asked certain Eduardo was about to ask what stopped him.
“Do you love Louisa?”
Rafael pulled himself away from the desk and stood erect. Though the question was easy to answer, the question shocked him. Why would Eduardo care if he loved his daughter? Marriage was for furthering wealth and property, not love.
“Well, I’m waiting. Do you love my daughter?’
Rafael had no intention of lying. “No, I care for her as a friend, but I do not love her. But love will have nothing to do with my decision to marry.”
“I think it will.” Eduardo’s tone was serious. “You are an honest man, Rafael, but you are not honest with your own feelings. I think you already care for someone.”
Eduardo held his hand up, warding off Rafael’s denial before it could be spoken. “Do not be foolish. There are only a few who find true love in their lifetime. You need only to look upon her and you instantly know she belongs to you and always will. It was that way with my dear wife, Catina. I will never love that way again, so fiercely and strongly that when one dies part of the other dies too. Each day that passes is one day closer to the day I will be reunited with her.”
A chill raced through Rafael. His heartbeat quickened. His breathing grew labored. The thought of Gaby dying flashed through his mind and it frightened him beyond belief.
“The decision remains yours, Rafael,” Eduardo said. “I will welcome you as a son-in-law if that is your wish. But think upon what I said... and choose wisely.”
“My decision will benefit all,” Rafael insisted. “I will do what is necessary.”
A sad little smile touched Eduardo’s lips. “I never doubted you would. Now how about that drink?”
~~~
“Madre de Dios!” Lupe said, crossing herself. “Don Rafael will kill you if you do not kill yourself first.”
“Be still, Lupe,” Gaby ordered. “You frighten him.”
“Good, the horse has more sense than you.”
Gaby stroked the dark flesh of the stallion’s neck while whispering softly and reassuringly near his ear.
Lupe crossed herself again before she spoke. “You cannot ride this horse. You are only a servant here and have no permission.”
Gaby stepped back away from the animal, not wanting the woman’s tense tone to frighten the already skittish stallion. “Dona Maria has ordered me to see that Don Joseph gets this note immediately,” she said, patting the folded paper tucked in her waist band.
Lupe wagged a disapproving finger in the young girl’s face. “She didn’t mean for you to take it yourself.”
Gaby plopped her hands on her full hips and cast Lupe a persistent smile. “Do you see anyone about who could run the errand?”
Lupe’s large brown eyes cast about hopefully, but in vain. She was well aware that all the available vaqueros were busy tending to their duties and wouldn’t return until supper. The few that remained were under strict orders to guard the hacienda, not that there had been any trouble of late, but with the padre’s murder, Don Rafael had taken extra precautions.
“It could wait,” she insisted, attempting to dissuade the young girl.
“No,” Gaby persisted. “Dona Maria stressed the importance of it being delivered immediately.”
Lupe crossed her arms over her ample bosom and sent Gaby a suspicious look. “I think you wish to ride the horse, that’s why this note has become so important.”
Gaby grinned like a child waiting for a sugar treat. “Oh, Lupe, just look at him, he’s beautiful. I’ve never seen a horse such as him.”
As though the black stallion knew she spoke of him with awe, he bowed his head, snorted, and beat the dirt with his newly shoed hoof.
“See,” Gaby glowed proudly. “He wishes me to ride him.”
“Huh,” Lupe said in feigned annoyance. “The horse is as stubborn and foolish as you. You make a fine pair.”
“Yes, we do,” Gaby agreed softly as she approached the horse. She gently ran her hand along his thick neck, stroking the dark flesh. “You are a beauty,” she whispered, and the horse answered with a strong snort.
“I remind you once again—you have no permission to ride him.”
Gaby’s smile was vibrant and filled with self-assurance. “Dona Maria gave me permission when she directed me to deliver this note any way possible.”
“You will get yourself in trouble with Don Rafael.”
“I’m always in trouble with him,” she laughed and gently pressed her face to the horse’s neck. He didn’t protest, and Gaby realized he was finally accepting her.
“He isn’t saddled,” Lupe continued, still hoping to dissuade the reckless girl.”
“I never use a saddle. My papa taught me to ride without one.”
Lupe nodded knowingly. Many of the townspeople rode their horses without saddles, using only reins, because they were too poor to afford one. And Lupe found them to be the most skilled of horsemen. “You will be careful and hurry back.”
Gaby ran to the large round woman and hugged her. “I will ride like the racing wind.”
“You will be careful and not take foolish chances,” Lupe scolded as she watched Gaby mount the stallion and steady his nervous prancing with a gentle nudge of her legs and soothing words. The animal instantly obeyed.
Gaby waved as she rode out of the corral. Lupe waved back before crossing herself several times. She walked to the kitchen, planning on preparing Don Rafael’s favorite supper. It wouldn’t hurt to make certain he was in a good mood this evening.
The warm breeze that whipped Gaby’s face playfully tore strands of her dark hair free from her braid. She relished the feel of the soft wind, the smell of the fresh earth, and the heat of the early afternoon sun. It revitalized her, filling her with renewed strength. She had needed to get away from the hacienda, taste freedom once again, do as she pleased.
She slowed the stallion, not wanting to tire him. She didn’t know his name, although she had seen him often in the corral alone. Always alone. She had felt a strange kinship to him. Here among others, yet alone. She was certain he had felt the same way. Now they were both tasting freedom, and he seemed to relish it as much as she. They rode on, both content.
Gaby didn’t notice the rider in the distance. The stallion alerted her to his presence with a snort. She looked and w
atched. It didn’t take long to make out who it was, and she braced herself with her newfound fortitude for the confrontation that was sure to take place.
Rafael told himself over and over it couldn’t be her. It was impossible, but then he reminded himself that with Gaby anything was possible.
He rode toward her, tall and stiff. He contained his annoyance. He would deal with her calmly and rationally.
Then his eyes caught sight of the horse she rod. “Madre de Dios!”
Gaby waited just below the crest of the rise from where he rode down. She could almost feel his frown and decided to greet it with a cheerful smile. It quickly faded when he spoke.
“What the hell are you doing riding him?”
The stallion reacted immediately to his angry tone, backing up and pawing the dirt in warning.
“Ease your tone,” she snapped, attempting to comfort the irritated animal.
Rafael was no fool. He knew why she spoke to him with such an imperious manner. He tried hard, very hard, to obey her. “Why do you ride him?” He attempted gentleness, but without much success. The animal still sensed his anger, pawing the dirt with a bit more exuberance, demonstrating his dissatisfaction with the man.
“Curb your tongue,” Gaby said through clenched teeth.
Rafael wasn’t used to commands, especially from a young woman who rode his most feared horse bareback with her skirt hoisted up past her knees, her feet bare, and the dark strands of her hair teasing the lashes of her brown eyes.
His nostrils flared in anger at the same moment that the stallion did. “Do you know what the vaqueros call him?”
Gaby shook her head, fearing her voice would betray her annoyance and irritate the skittish horse even more.
“Satanas.”
“He’s not the devil,” Gaby insisted in defense of the handsome stallion. The horse agreed with a nod of his head and a decisive snort.
“Get off him,” Rafael ordered, fearing the animal’s strength and temperament too much for her to handle. This time it was Bella who snorted and pranced backward. The pressure of his strong legs to her sides warned her to behave, but the dark stallion’s presence caused her to do otherwise.
Untamed Fire Page 10