by Darcia Helle
Alex waited. Suzanne sniffled, said nothing. He turned and said, “It’s funny, you know. You came here years ago, a young woman with no experience and big ambitions. You worked hard to make me notice you. You weren’t content with your place with the lawyers whom I employ.”
Alex swept his arms out wide, his gaze traveling around the room. “This was your priority. Becoming my personal secretary. Do you remember?”
Suzanne nodded. Alex stepped closer. His voice was low and each word cut like a knife. “You didn’t stop there. Even that wasn’t enough for you. Becoming my lover was your true priority, was it not? You all but begged me for it. And I rather enjoyed the game.”
Alex stepped behind Suzanne and pressed close against her trembling body. He breathed in perfume, Romance by Ralph Lauren. His mouth grazed her ear as he spoke. “It seems to me that you now have everything you wanted, everything you asked for. You don’t truly want to leave me now, do you?”
Suzanne tried to step away but Alex grabbed her wrists and held her firm. He pulled her roughly against him. In an absurdly calm voice, he said, “Now, is there something you’d like to tell me?”
“I’m sorry,” Suzanne said. “I just thought…”
“You just thought what?”
“I thought maybe it was time for me to move on.”
Alex shook his head. “And why would you think that?”
Suzanne stood still, trembling, saying nothing. Alex reached around her and turned the lock on the heavy oak door. He said, “I told O’Connor that you’d apparently misunderstood a situation and thought you were being replaced. I then informed him that you were no longer in the market for a change of employment. That message has been circulated throughout the city. You should have learned long ago that the game is played by my rules. And it’s over only when I say so.”
Suzanne stifled a sob. A lone tear slid down her cheek, cutting a trail through her perfectly applied blush. “Please,” she whispered.
“Please what, Suzanne?” When she didn’t reply, Alex said, “I remember a time not so long ago when you used to plead with me to take you to bed. Do you remember?”
Suzanne nodded. “That was years ago. It’s different now.”
“Yes, you’ve grown older, though apparently no wiser.”
Alex smiled, truly enjoying himself. He’d needed an outlet. A few grievous mistakes had occurred. Ryder was creating problems. And his family had been unusually difficult these past few weeks. This was exactly the distraction he’d needed. The perfect outlet for his aggression.
“I suppose I must now remind you of what happens to those who misbehave,” Alex said softly.
Suzanne’s eyes widened. She shook her head back and forth. “No, please…”
As Alex unbuckled his belt, he said, “I suggest you undress. You know the punishment is always easiest when you cooperate.”
6
Lauren, Carrie, and Gina sat in a booth at Murphy’s Pub, sipping frozen daiquiris. Gina had just finished reading the others a love poem that a guy she knew from Boston University had written for her. She wrinkled her nose and said, “Can you believe this dribble?”
“I thought it was a beautiful poem,” Carrie said. “Very romantic.”
“Oh please!” Gina said with a roll of her eyes. “I don’t even want to date him, much less have him write me sappy poetry.”
Carrie laughed. “Just like you to be breaking yet another heart.”
Lauren found herself wishing that Jesse had written her that poem, pledging his undying love for her. But what was she thinking? That was ridiculous. Two dates and she was on the verge of becoming lovesick. And what if he did suddenly profess his love for her? What then?
She thought about him all the time. How could she feel this strongly about a man she barely knew? She hadn’t allowed herself to get this close to any guy she’d dated over periods of months, much less days.
“Hey Lauren,” Gina said. “I hear your dad’s being honored at some fancy banquet tonight.”
Lauren stiffened. “Yeah, how did you know?”
“I heard my parents talking about it,” Gina said.
“What’s he being honored for?” Carrie asked.
Lauren took her straw and poked at the ice cubes in her drink. She said, “Some kind of community involvement thing.”
“You take these things so lightly,” Carrie said.
Gina nodded. “You must get used to it when Alex Covington is your father.”
Lauren took a long swallow of her drink. If they only knew the truth. She said, “It’s not such a big deal. A lot of it is company PR stuff.”
Carrie said, “You know, your dad always looks like he just stepped off a page from GQ. My dad owns one suit that must be at least ten years old.”
“Your dad’s a mechanic,” Lauren said. “He doesn’t need to dress for work.”
“Some people have a natural flare,” Gina said. “I can’t imagine Alex Covington ever wearing a pair of jeans. Not even on his day off.”
“Now that you mention it,” Carrie said, “you’re right. I’ve never seen him in jeans, even when he’s hanging out at home.”
Lauren swirled the melting ice cubes in her glass. Her friends were right. Her father didn’t own a pair of jeans. But, then, when was the last time anyone had actually seen him ‘hanging out’ at home. She didn’t respond and hoped the subject would quickly change.
A young waitress in a low cut blouse brought their appetizers. She plopped the mozzarella sticks and Buffalo wings on the table without much interest. Her attention was riveted on a table of young men who’d been flirting with her.
As the waitress moved away, Lauren took the opportunity to steer the conversation away from her father. She said, “Do either of you know Kevin Fuller?”
“I do,” Gina replied.
“What do you think of him?”
“Cute. Badass. A major jerk at times. Why?”
“Stephen’s been hanging out with him.”
Gina frowned. “That means trouble.”
“I was afraid of that.”
Carrie turned to Gina and lifted her eyebrows. “How do you know this guy?” she asked.
Gina shrugged. “Met him at a party awhile back. We went out a couple of times before I smartened up.”
“So he’s our age?” Lauren asked.
“Twenty-three,” Gina said. She took a bite from a mozzarella stick. Cheese oozed out and she wrapped her tongue around the stray piece. “He deals for a living. Weed. Coke. Pills.”
Lauren sighed. “Perfect.”
“You think Stephen’s doing drugs?” Carrie asked.
“I know he’s into something,” Lauren said. “But I’m not sure what. He just hasn’t been right lately.”
“We could find out easy enough,” Gina said.
“How?”
Gina’s smile was full of mischief. “We’ll go over to Kevin’s and see for ourselves. People hang out there almost every night.”
Carrie said, “I’m sure this Kevin guy would be thrilled to have us show up at his door.”
Gina twisted her long hair around her finger. “Kevin won’t mind a bit,” she murmured.
Lauren frowned. “But Stephen would be furious.”
“He won’t know we’re there to check up on him,” Gina said. “He’ll think we’re there to party like everyone else. Hell, he might even think his sister is cool after all.”
“I guess,” Lauren muttered.
“We’ll go tomorrow night,” Gina said.
“I have to work,” Lauren said.
Gina sighed. “How about Wednesday night?”
Lauren hesitated. “Okay.”
“I’m in,” Carrie said.
“Good,” Gina replied with a clap of her hands. “Then we’ll find out for ourselves what the little shit is up to.”
Lauren slipped into her shimmering gold Dolce & Gabbana dress and matching heels. She walked to her mirror and peered at her image. Her well-practiced smile peered back
at her. She was as ready as she’d ever be.
Downstairs she found Stephen slumped in a wing chair in the living room with a beer in his hand. “What the hell are you doing?” Lauren said.
Stephen barely glanced at her. A tiny ring of blue was all that was visible around his enlarged pupils. “What the hell does it look like?” he said.
“Have you lost your mind?” Lauren kept her voice low, despite her desire to scream. “If Dad catches you, he’ll -”
“I don’t give a fuck what he does.”
“Stephen, you can’t -”
“Don’t start preaching at me.”
Lauren let out an exasperated breath. Stephen had a wild look in his eyes that came from more than alcohol. And an arrogance that was sure to get him in trouble this evening. Lauren changed her tactic and softened her voice. “What about Mom?”
“What about her?”
“How do you think your condition tonight is going to affect her?”
“Give me a break, will you?” Stephen rose, took a moment to get his balance, then strode to the kitchen. Lauren followed close behind. He drained the remainder of his beer, tossed the bottle in the trash, burped. “You didn’t expect me to go to this thing sober,” he said, “did you?”
“I just think -”
“You think too damn much.”
“Would you mind letting me finish a sentence?”
Stephen’s eyes flashed with anger. They were that same shade of steel blue as their father’s. His jaw was tight as he ground out the words, “Why don’t you mind your own fucking business.”
Lauren took a deep breath. She struggled to keep her tone calm. “Tonight will be hard enough for mom without -”
“She should be thrilled.” Stephen’s words were heavy with sarcasm. He glared at Lauren as if daring her to disagree. “Her superior husband is being honored tonight. The entire city, maybe even the state, will know what a truly giving and amazing man she’s married to.”
“Stephen, please -”
“I ain’t playing his fucking games.”
“Stop it!” Lauren’s voice was hushed but forceful. “If he hears you, we’ll all be in for it.”
“Fuck him.”
“You’re high on something.”
“No shit.”
“You might not care what happens to you. But you could give a little thought to me and Mom.”
Just then Kara’s voice called out from the living room. “Lauren, Stephen, where are you two?”
“In the kitchen, Mom!” Lauren called. “We’ll be right there.”
Alex’s sharp voice cut through the house. “Let’s go!”
Lauren glared at Stephen. “You won’t think you’re so smart if he beats the hell out of Mom because of you.” She took a breath mint from her purse, popped it into his mouth. “Now behave yourself.”
Alex and Kara were waiting in the foyer. Alex stood in front of the antique mirror, adjusting his Tank Francoise cufflinks. Stephen stuffed his hands in his pockets and stared down at the floor. No one said a word.
Finally Alex turned. Addressing them all, he said, “I expect a lot of smiles this evening.”
“Of course,” Kara said. “We’re thrilled -”
“Do not patronize me,” Alex said. “This entire trivial ceremony is a farce. I could not care less what those women at the shelter think of me and you know that.”
“Sorry,” Kara mumbled.
“As you know, I have to do a certain amount of public relations to maintain my image,” Alex said. “The work my firm did for those women was nothing more than that. While I would have preferred to send one of my employees to this ceremony, those in charge of the shelter requested my presence. I couldn’t possibly refuse.”
Lauren swallowed her comment. Imagine her father counseling battered women. The thought made her nauseous. If only those people knew the truth about him. But no one ever would.
The ceremony was being held at a restaurant on the south end of Boston, not too far from the shelter. As Alex swung his Lexus LS into the parking lot, he grunted. “And I am expected to eat a meal here,” he said.
Lauren said nothing. She had eaten there before and knew the food was good. She also knew her father wouldn’t like it. His taste buds were activated strictly by atmosphere and a very particular class of people.
“Maybe the food will be good,” Kara said. “You never know.”
Alex slammed the car into park. “Let’s get this over with.”
During dinner, Stephen openly flirted with a young woman seated at a table behind them. She was with a group of other woman, all in their early twenties. Despite Alex’s warning glares, Stephen continued. While the woman seemed to take Stephen’s attention as harmless playfulness, Alex was clearly appalled. The knot in Lauren’s stomach tightened.
Immediately following dinner, the ceremony began. Alex played the part of the gracious recipient. He stood at the podium and began his speech with the importance of getting involved in one’s community. He then went on to say how shocked he was upon first learning the statistics involving battered women. The number of women beaten, he said, was alarming and intolerable. Communities needed to rally around these women, to give them a place to turn so that they didn’t need to remain in such atrocious and life-threatening situations. He finished by stating how proud he was to have been of service to these women in their time of need.
Alex stepped from the podium to a standing ovation. Lauren stood on wobbly legs. Her stomach heaved. Kara stood beside her, clapping and smiling. Lauren didn’t understand how her mother managed to appear so far removed from these other women, as if the things spoken about could never and had never touched her.
They drove home in silence. Lauren closed her eyes, wishing she could be anywhere else. Why didn’t she simply move out? Carrie had even suggested they be roommates when she’d first decided to get her own apartment. Why did she stay home where there was constant tension, deceit, and abuse? Why didn’t she go away to college, in another state, when she’d had the chance?
She opened her eyes and stared at the back of her mother’s head. Her mother, the reason she stayed. Her mother needed someone on her side, someone to protect her.
Lauren frowned. She was doing a lousy job of protecting. The abuse had only gotten worse with time. Did it do any good at all for her to remain at home?
Maybe it would be better if she moved out. Maybe her father would have less to get angry about, less reason to lash out.
Lauren closed her eyes again. She knew better. Even after she and Stephen had both moved out, Alex would remain the same abusive, unfeeling man he was now. The only difference would be that he’d have no one around to witness his behavior. Or to keep him from going too far.
By the time they walked into the house, Lauren had forgotten all about Stephen’s behavior at the restaurant. She was lost in her own thoughts, deep in search of a way out. As she crossed the living room toward the stairs, her father’s voice bellowed behind her.
“What the hell were you trying to do in there?” Alex said.
Stephen almost smirked. “What would you be referring to?”
Alex stepped within inches of Stephen. His hands balled into fists as he sputtered, “You are an embarrassment to this family.”
Tears sprang to Kara’s eyes. “Alex, he didn’t mean to embarrass you. Please -”
Alex shoved Kara aside. “Stop babying him. Stephen wants to play adult, so let him handle this like one. He doesn’t need his mommy defending him.” He turned back to Stephen, his tone taunting. “Or do you?”
“Fuck you,” Stephen said.
The back of Alex’s hand caught Stephen in the corner of the mouth. His lip split open and blood oozed out, sliding down his chin. Stephen didn’t blink. He said, “Do you feel like a big man now?”
Alex grabbed Stephen’s arm, yanking him closer, “You little -”
“Leave him alone!” Kara demanded.
“Get upstairs,” Alex said. �
�I’ll handle him myself.”
Kara hesitantly approached. She stopped just out of Alex’s reach. Her eyes swam with tears. “Alex, let him go,” she said.
Alex’s expression tightened. “Kara, mind your own damn business”
“This is my business.”
Alex glared at her a moment, then let go of Stephen’s arm. To Stephen he said, “Looks like Mommy wants to save you. Perhaps she’d also like to take your punishment. Now I suggest you get lost while you still can.”
Stephen glanced at Kara, then quickly put his head down and stumbled up the stairs. Alex turned to Lauren and said, “You should do the same.”
Lauren searched her mother’s eyes. The knot in the pit of her stomach twisted tighter. She couldn’t leave them alone. He would beat her, like he always did. Only this time would be even worse. This time her mother had dared to defy him.
“I said get upstairs,” Alex said.
“It’s okay,” Kara said quietly. “Go ahead to bed.”
Lauren reluctantly headed up the stairs. Her father’s angry voice trailed after her as he berated her mother for interfering. He blamed her inadequacy as a parent for Stephen’s behavior.
Her father’s voice grew louder, booming through her bedroom walls. Even with her door shut tight, she heard every word. He ridiculed her mother, belittled her. Lauren buried her head beneath her pillow. Her father’s voice became muffled but the rage remained unmistakable.
Eventually the yelling stopped. Then everything became quiet.
A deadly silence.
7
Lauren woke long before her alarm clock announced the arrival of morning. She lay in bed, watching the dim light of dawn seep through her blinds. Her father’s voice kept echoing in her mind. She could taste her hatred for him, bitter and vile.
Jesse had given her his number and said she could call anytime. But she was pretty sure he wouldn’t expect her to call at five in the morning. Even if she had the courage to make the call, what then? Tell him she couldn’t sleep because her father is a vicious, power-crazed lunatic?
She pushed herself from the comfort of her bed and quietly made her way down the hall to the bathroom. In just over twenty minutes, she had showered, dressed, and was steering her Pontiac G6 down the driveway. She could kill time in the student lounge before her first class. Anything was better than facing her father at the breakfast table.