by Darcia Helle
“I will.”
He traced his fingers lightly over her lips. “I wish this didn’t have to be so difficult,” he said. “But I really love… being with you.”
“Me too.”
“See you tonight.”
Lauren savored the tingling his kiss left on her lips as she crossed the parking lot to her own car.
Lauren trudged up the stairs to her room, her arms overloaded with books. No sooner had she dropped them onto her desk than her cell phone rang. She retrieved it from her purse while digging her history book from the bottom of the pile. She answered without bothering to check the caller ID, a mistake she instantly regretted.
Hearing Gina’s voice set Lauren on edge. Her grip grew tight on the phone. Her breath caught in her throat. She was about to disconnect the call when Gina began speaking quickly. “I’m so sorry about what happened,” she said. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“Then what the hell were you doing having sex with my father?” Lauren said.
“I’m sorry. You probably won’t believe this but I love him. I’ve been in love with him for years.”
“You’re right. I don’t believe you. I know how many guys you’ve been with. How can you say that you love anybody?”
“That was all an act,” Gina said. “I flirted a lot. I wanted you to believe I was carefree. I wanted myself to believe it.”
“Oh please!”
“It’s the truth.” Gina’s voice took on an edge of desperation. “Lauren, I really need us to be friends again.”
“When hell freezes over,” Lauren said. She disconnected the call, squeezing the phone tightly and barely keeping herself from throwing it across the room.
An unexpected sadness swept over her. In a way, Gina was simply another one of her father’s victims. Gina had no idea what he was truly like. She never saw the arrogant, self-righteous bastard that stomped on anyone who happened to be in his way. She’d never experienced his violent mood swings.
Or had she?
Lauren dropped her head into her hands. A sound escaped her throat, something between a groan and a sob. Gina was nothing more than another trophy, one of her father’s playthings. But, unfortunately for Gina, she probably believed his act, believed he loved her.
Lauren remained at her desk for close to an hour. She stared at her history book but didn’t get one page read. She couldn’t concentrate. Finally she gave up the pretense. She had a date to get ready for. The one bright spot in her life.
She took a long shower, then tore her closet apart in search of the perfect outfit. Naturally the perfect outfit did not exist. She settled on a pair of Skinny jeans and a green sweater that matched her eyes. What to wear under her clothes was an even bigger problem. She wanted something sexy but not too obvious. She didn’t want Jesse to think she’d been expecting to sleep with him tonight. Not that she was… really.
Finally deciding on a white lace set by Aubade, Lauren dressed, applied make-up, and fixed her hair. A glance at her clock told her she was running late. Too much procrastination. Since when did panties become such a huge decision?
Lauren hadn’t seen her mother, so she left a note on the kitchen counter. Out in her car, she suddenly felt the urge to throw up. Why were her nerves getting the best of her tonight? It wasn’t like this was their first date. And they’d been alone lots of times.
But now it was different. She could no longer deny that she was in love.
Yes, she admitted it, if only to herself. The thought terrified her. How could she have let this happen? She almost laughed at that. A better question was how could she have stopped it? And what was she going to do about it now?
Lauren managed to get to Jesse’s place without having a nervous breakdown. The building looked larger than she remembered, brand new brick and each apartment had a private balcony. Things she hadn’t noticed before.
She took the elevator up to the fifth floor and walked down the wide hallway toward Jesse’s apartment. Her heart raced. Her hands shook. She silently cursed herself for being so out of control. Several deep breaths did little to relax her.
Jesse pulled the door open, greeting her with a dazzling smile. “Hi beautiful,” he said.
Suddenly he was standing there, sexy and confident, and her nerves dissolved into desire. She heard her own voice greeting him while allowing him to lead her inside. A dream-like fog engulfed her and she understood why people said that loves makes you crazy.
Lauren settled onto the soft black leather sofa. “Something smells good,” she said.
“Lasagna,” Jesse said. “Get comfortable. I’ll grab the wine.”
The sounds of Enya floated through the room from unseen speakers. Candles shimmered throughout the room. Jesse handed Lauren a glass of wine. As he settled in beside her, he said, “I’m glad you came tonight.”
Looking into Jesse’s eyes, Lauren was again moved by their intensity. So much emotion burned deep within. She wanted to believe it was all meant for her. She blinked, shifted her gaze. “Me too,” she said.
“Everything okay at home?”
“Fine,” Lauren said. “I didn’t see either of my parents. No problems.”
“Good. Let’s go eat. I’m starving.”
The table was set with nice but not elaborate dishes. The flatware was stainless steel. This made Lauren smile. “You didn’t actually cook this yourself, did you?” she said.
“One of the benefits of growing up with a bunch of sisters.” Jesse grinned. “I’m also really good with nail polish.”
“Wow, I’ll have to remember that. Maybe I can take advantage of it sometime.”
“Anytime you like.”
Though the lasagna was the best Lauren had ever tasted, she had a hard time eating. Jesse’s dark eyes seemed to be speaking to her in a language all their own. He was quieter tonight than usual. But he was every bit as attentive, if not more so.
After they’d eaten, they drifted back into the living room. They talked about everything and nothing. Jesse ran his fingers through Lauren’s hair. Her body flooded with new sensations. His touch was gentle, yet so intense.
Their lips met, tentatively at first. Then their tongues. Each kiss became deeper, more intimate. Their touches grew more heated, more familiar.
Lauren’s heartbeat quickened as Jesse stood and took her hand. “You haven’t seen my room yet,” he said.
In the doorway, Lauren hesitated. Jesse searched her eyes. “You don’t have to,” he said.
His voice was soft. His touch sent warm shivers through her. His eyes said a thousand things she didn’t yet understand. But she sensed the passion they held was meant for her alone. Most of all, she was sure she was safe with him. He could never be like her father.
She tried to find her voice. Her stomach quivered. “I want to,” she whispered.
Their lips met and he pulled her closer to him. She could feel his hardness as he pressed against her. She’d never wanted anything as badly as she wanted this. And she’d never been so scared.
He undressed her slowly. His fingers lingered on her nipples as her bra slid to the floor. Then he slipped her panties effortlessly past her hips, leaving them to slide down her thighs, to the floor.
Lifting her gently, he placed her on the bed. Then he undressed himself, locking his eyes with her, speaking to her without uttering a word. His lips once again found hers. He lay beside her, his hands exploring, her skin growing warm beneath his heated touch.
Soon the quivering in her stomach was no longer from nerves. She surrendered herself to his touch, his tongue. When at last he entered her, a rush of tiny explosions consumed her and she cried out with pleasure.
Jesse had reached that peak along with her and his deep moans mixed with hers. When he found his breath, his raspy voice whispered, “I love you, Lauren.”
Lauren opened her eyes, unsure whether she’d heard Jesse correctly. The look in his eyes was all the confirmation she needed. “I love you, too,” she said.
> 16
The early morning sunshine sifted in through the blinds. The angle was perfectly aligned with Jesse’s left eye. He squirmed, stretched, and reached across the bed. The spot beside him was already cold. Empty.
He opened his eyes and pushed himself up on one elbow. Lauren had left hours ago but her perfume lingered on the sheets. He breathed in the scent and cursed his arousal.
Jesse squinted at the digital clock. Six a.m. Still dark. Getting up this early normally required a very loud alarm and a damn good reason. This morning he had neither. Just a cold spot on the sheet beside him and an emptiness without her here.
Ridiculous. He’d broken every one of his own damn rules. Falling in love had not been part of his plan. But in love he was. And he hadn’t been content to simply fall. No, he’d jumped head first into the deep end.
Now here he was, a drowning man lying awake in a dark room before sunrise. He missed Lauren. Gone from his bed four short hours and he already missed her. It was like overnight he’d gone from an independent, self-confident guy to some drippy love-struck puppy dog. Pathetic.
Dwelling on these facts did no good. So he stopped thinking and climbed out of bed. He stepped beneath a warm shower, which did little to motivate him. With some difficulty, he found a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Looked like today was laundry day. Could the morning get any worse?
Jesse fumbled around the kitchen, made coffee, then drank half a cup before his stomach churned in protest. Swearing softly, he tossed his dirty clothes into the basket and grudgingly headed down to the laundry room. Thankfully it was empty. No way could he be civil to anyone at this hour.
He killed the time during the wash cycle by carefully picking the peeling yellow paint off the wall behind the bench. Once his clothes were in the dryer, he sat watching them tumble behind the glass. His thoughts drifted back to last night. He instantly grew hard and cursed the erection straining against his jeans.
A virgin. He still couldn’t believe it. He’d been shocked that Lauren had never been with another guy. He’d also been a little intimidated. He’d never been with a virgin. Even his own first time had been with someone older, more experienced. But once he’d gotten over his crazy fear that he would somehow damage her, the night had been amazing. He loved her more than he’d thought he was capable of.
All this would have been nice and sweet, if not just a little irritating with its weak-kneed sappiness. However, it all became a complicated mess with Lauren’s father tossed into the mix. And it was probably going to get a lot worse in the near future.
Jesse pulled his clothes from the dryer, did his best impression of folding them, and carried the basket back to his apartment. It was just after eight, which was a good time for him to get his day started. He grabbed his keys and briefcase and headed out the door.
Armed with a thickly padded file, he drove straight to the D.A.’s office. He waited twenty-seven minutes in the pristine reception area before Tom Eldrige allowed him the honor of entering his office. The next two hours were spent in a deadlock, with Eldridge doing all he could to discount the evidence and leads Jesse offered.
Finally Eldridge said, “So why don’t we do this. You claim Covington wanted you to eliminate evidence on his client, set someone else up. We’ll wire you, you go back to his office, say you’ve changed your mind, you’re willing to deal. Get him to talk about it. We’ll have all the evidence we need to charge the guy, then get further warrants for the rest of what you’re claiming.”
Jesse closed his eyes, took a slow breath. His nerves had been rubbed raw. He said, “That would’ve made a lot more sense if you’d offered it the first time I was here.”
Eldridge shrugged, looked away. Jesse gritted his teeth. He reeled his temper back in before speaking. “Even if I thought that would work,” he said, “it’s too late now. Covington will suspect me of setting him up. Besides, the guy is smart. Even when he sort of trusts you, he doesn’t get into details. He keeps everything vague, lets his minions do the rest. Keeps his hands clean.”
“But you claim he’s still after you?”
“Yeah, to shut me up. I rather doubt he would trust me with any of his business at this point.”
The conversation went round and round for another hour. When frustration threatened to push Jesse over the edge, Eldridge excused himself and left the room without explanation. Ten minutes later he returned. He said, “It’s a go for Nyles.”
Four hours locked in a room with a political kiss-ass human garlic factor and Jesse finally got something. He waited for the paperwork, then drove straight to Walpole Prison where he was ushered into the familiar conference room. Minutes later, Chris Nyles sauntered in. All swagger and attitude. This wasn’t one of Jesse’s better days.
A massive guard secured Nyles’ cuffs before leaving them alone. They sat in silence a moment, studying each other. Then Nyles said, “So?”
“We could have a deal,” Jesse said.
“Could have?”
Jesse tapped the folder on the table in front of him. “I’ve got the paperwork right here. You’ll get what you requested, providing I get the info I need.”
“Let me see.”
Jesse glanced down at Nyles’ hands, his fingers squirming for the folder while the cuffs locked his wrists in place. Jesse said, “You’d better have something worth my time and incredible irritation.”
Nyles smirked. “You’ll be satisfied.”
Jesse slid the folder forward. “Here you go.”
Nyles awkwardly sifted through the papers. A slow smile slid into place. “All right,” he said. “What do you want to know?”
“Everything. Let’s start with what you know about Covington.”
“He’s a rotten motherfucker. He don’t give a shit who he stomps on if it means getting what he wants.”
“Insightful,” Jesse said. “Now tell me something I don’t know.”
Nyles fingered the papers in front of him. “He ordered Danny’s hit. Because of a job Danny botched.”
“Who actually killed him?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Really? Somehow I don’t quite believe that.”
“I got a name but I ain’t sure.”
“Share anyway.”
Nyles looked away. His eyes darted from the paperwork, to the door. Back to Jesse. He said, “Dominic Forenzi.”
Jesse nodded. Not much of a surprise there. He said, “The job you said Bellows botched. What was it?”
Nyles stared, said nothing. Jesse sighed heavily. His patience was one eye roll away from snapping. He said, “Was the job a hit? Deanna Bryant? Was she involved with Covington?”
“I ain’t saying nothing that’ll fuck up my release.”
“Yeah, I figured that. So you were involved in that hit?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“That’s the problem. You haven’t said anything all that useful.”
“Deanna was some whore Covington was fucking.”
“Did Covington order her murder?”
Nyles stared blankly at the wall behind Jesse. “I could get myself killed for what I’m doing.”
“Stop dicking around. Talk or we’re done.”
Nyles’ right eye twitched nervously. “She was getting too close, from what I hear.”
“Too close to what?”
“Information. Shit she shouldn’t know. Covington. All that.”
“So did he order the hit?”
“I guess.”
“You guess? What do you actually know?”
“I ain’t never talked to Covington before,” Nyles said. “I just know people who know him.”
“Bellows was supposed to kill Deanna, right? But he fucked it up and got taken out himself. So Covington then paid someone who paid you to handle it, right?”
“Maybe.”
“How about Forenzi,” Jesse asked. “You know him?”
“Maybe.”
Jesse’s commanding voice echoed in the
small room. “Look you little fuck, I don’t have time to play games. Either you start talking or you can take your scrawny ass out of here and forget the whole damn deal. And, for wasting my fucking time, I’ll let it leak that you’ve been sharing details about Covington’s business.”
Nyles’ eyes grew wide. “You’re crazy, man!”
Jesse simply stared. Nyles muttered, “I could get myself killed for what I’m saying.”
“So you’ve said.”
“Plus, I say too much, I fuck myself. You know? I ain’t spending my life in this place. And I ain’t hanging around waiting for Covington’s goons to get me.”
“What do you want, Nyles?”
“Anything I tell you, I don’t want it coming back to bite me in the ass, you know?”
“You’ve got the paperwork right in front of you,” Jesse said.
“Yeah, but I don’t know. I ain’t no lawyer. Maybe I say too much, they pin me with new charges. Plus, I want money. I need to get the hell away from here.”
“Money?” Jesse said with a scowl. “And total absolution? That all, Nyles?”
“You need to get me out of here right away. These guys find out I’m talking to you, I’m a dead man.”
“Jesus.” Jesse shook his head, banged his fist a few times against the scratched tabletop. He said, “Where do you want to be transferred to, Nyles? The Hilton, perhaps? Or The Marriott? Room service and a Jacuzzi in your room?”
Nyles smirked, his thin lips almost disappearing. “That’d be cool.”
“Do you know Dominic Forenzi?”
“Yeah.”
“Care to elaborate?”
Nyles hesitated. “I trust you and talk, you gotta keep this between us till you get me moved.”
“Yeah. Fine. Just tell me.”
“I should get protection here.”
“Keep it up and you’ll be needing protection from me,” Jesse said. “Tell me about Forenzi.”
“The dude’s been on Covington’s payroll for years.”
“And?”
“He’s the one who took Foley out.”
“The senator? You’re sure it was Forenzi?”