by Daul, Amanda
The village they were in was not so much a city as a small clearing with several burned and dilapidated buildings. Only a handful of people were around, obviously travellers stopping to take shelter, like Arissa and Cayl. The most they had for a guard was one older man with a machete standing at the top of the path that lead to the spaced building. He grumbled in an unintelligible speech and, after they showed him that they held no military grade weapons, he waved them past.
They both felt as if they’d been shell-shocked, not exactly knowing what to say or do. Arissa now realized that a part of her had been convinced she would never see him again and now she felt utterly shocked.
Staying hidden beneath their cloak hoods, they chose the farthest building away, hidden deep under the collapsed, burnt rubble of the frame that used to be a building. A cheap wall had been tacked against the one pre-existing wall, creating a natural shelter. It was better than nothing and the other travellers didn’t pay any attention to them.
Arissa waited for Cayl to dismount the horse first, grimacing as she watched him stumble when his feet met the even ground. She followed suit, quickly sweeping the equipment from the horse, except the bridle, which she knotted the reins together to form a makeshift lead rope. She tied the horse to a tree, in reach of grass and they both ducked inside the shabby canopy, all without a word.
The interior was dark, the only light seeping in was from the early dawn light shining through the cracks of the walls. A damp chill had settled into Arissa’s bones while on the mountain and even though the temperature was noticeably warmer now, she still felt the aching cold.
Cayl moved differently than she remembered, Arissa noticed, as he slowly made his way across the room cluttered with broken pieces of wood and broken glass. He was thinner, too, lacking a bit of the muscle tone he always carried before. Arissa didn't doubt that she was thinner and paler than she had been three months ago, as well. Stress, lack of sleep and not eating properly was really beginning to take its toll on them both.
Arissa almost felt awkward, unsure how to speak or act to him. It was a relief to have him back again, of course, but after so much time apart, it was difficult to adjust so quickly back again. She had no idea what he had been through in the last months, hesitant of whether or not she should advance to him or give him space. His eyes were shifty, almost as if he was thinking the exact same thoughts that she was.
“You were bleeding,” she heard herself say. After the attack he had saved her from in the mountains, she had been too shocked and disoriented to remember, but suddenly, now it dawned on her.
“I’m alright. It’s just a graze,” he said, quietly. His voice was a lot rougher and gravelly than it had been. Immediately, he tossed the trailing billows of his cloak over his shoulder, wincing noticeably, and revealed a red, saturated bullet wound, just above his left hip.
Her heart sank at the sight of it, unable to take her eyes from the grotesque sight. He kept one hand pressed firmly against the wound, but it was obvious he was in a lot of pain.
Arissa suddenly thought of her own wound that she had been trying to ignore and instantly, she knew something in her expression gave it away. Cayl didn’t hesitate to close the small gap between them, taking her arm gently and pulling away the fabric of the torn cloak. She felt her muscles spasm before she could hide it and revealed a long, thin slice across the back of her arm, near her elbow. A dried trail of blood had dripped down nearly the entire length of her arm.
“You’re hurt, too,” he stated, meeting her tired gaze with his own hazy eyes.
“I’ll survive until we can get back to Daer.”
A snap of fire burst into his eyes for a moment at the mention of their homeland. His hand still lingered on her arm, but Arissa could feel a slight tremble in his touch.
“You can’t possibly be thinking of going back? After what happened, going back now...we would just be handing ourselves over to the firing squad.”
“Don’t tell me that you’ve forgotten what we had to leave behind,” Arissa’s voice wasn’t nearly as stable as she wanted. She was very close to crumpling and giving in to her emotions, even against her strongest attempts to push it away.
Cayl let his hand drop from her arm, once again clutching his wound. His face was twisted in agony. “Of course not. I’m just saying that we can’t go back yet.”
“We can’t spend the rest of our lives running, Cayl! That’s all I’ve done my entire life and I’m tired of it!”
Arissa could plainly see how difficult it was for him to remain even slightly composed. All she wanted to do was let go of the distant feeling that had settled between them and hold onto him, never having to let go again. Memories of their life before wanted to stream through her mind, but she stopped them, knowing she couldn’t succumb to that right now.
For a moment, a familiar feeling of connection hit her, when she stepped forward to support him, while he slowly lowered himself to the floor of the shack. It was a familiar feeling to her, suddenly no longer feeling the need for words, as if he could already read what she feeling.
Obviously he was injured a lot worse than he let on. Now was not the time to discuss their plan to escape the General’s clutches. Now was the time to finally allow herself feel relief for the first time that day and let it sink in that she was finally with Cayl again.
He began shaking worse than he had been, and Arissa rearranged their cloaks so that it formed a partial blanket at least. She was too choked up to speak and too worried and frightened to do anything else.
Letting herself slowly slide to the ground beside him, Arissa was careful of both of their injuries. She felt a wave of warmth suddenly wash through her when his quivering hand caught hers, holding it close to him.
Unable to sleep, Arissa spent the coming hours huddled against the man she had longed for so severely for so long. He drifted in and out of consciousness, confirming Arissa’s suspicions that his wound was much worse than either of them thought.
His body became hotter as well, signalling a fever. As he slept and trembled through the rest of the night, he never let go of her hand.
For the first time in a very long time, Arissa finally let her tears of anger and frustration, sorrow and worry flow freely. She was tired of remaining strong for so many years, unable to ever let go of her emotions. Cayl had been the only one she could express herself with, and now that she found him, she had to find a way to keep him alive.
“I love you,” the words escaped her lips so softly she couldn’t even hear them herself. He responded with a quick, fluttering squeeze of her hand. Arissa let her head rest gently against his shoulder, feeling a new flood of tears dampen her eyes.
Chapter Thirteen
After leaving the eerie resting place, Arissa could feel a bit of the tension leaving her and it was somewhat easier to breathe again after they were well hidden on a footpath deep in the forest.
Cayl seemed even more disoriented and in more pain than the night before. While he had still been asleep, Arissa had carefully checked the wound and had felt her heart sink when she saw the inflamed, red skin. He needed help today or he wasn’t going to live.
She knew there was only one place to go. Hating the thought of it, she had forced herself to breathe deeply several times and then locked the thoughts of hesitation from her mind. She had to, otherwise he would die. They had gotten this far, she wouldn’t let anything else happen. She would finally win.
Again, they hardly spoke a word to each other as the bay horse dodged between trees, shying occasionally when a bird would flutter up beside them.
Most of the day passed before Arissa stopped the horse in the woods just outside the village where she had spoken to Landon. She couldn’t predict what his reaction would be, but if he ever wanted to help her, now would be the time.
“Where are we going?” Cayl asked, still trying to put on a tough front for her, even though he was painfully clutching his side after dismounting.
Before answeri
ng, Arissa stripped the horse of all equipment and let her go free. She had been abused in their journey back and she didn’t want to be responsible for her while they hid within the city limits. The horse was no doubt hungry and weary, being free would give her the best chance of survival.
“I’m taking you to Landon’s. You need medical help and we need to rest for a few days before we do anything. Don’t bother arguing with me, because it’s already decided.”
Even through his grimy, sweat-streaked face, he flashed a quick smile. “Somehow, you always end up winning the argument anyway, so why would I bother?”
Despite her stress and terror, she smiled. Even though they were both exhausted and very clearly, Cayl had been through more than she could imagine, the familiar spark in his forest green eyes made her feel suddenly comforted.
Finding a section of the poorly constructed blockade around the village wasn’t difficult. It was painfully obvious that he didn’t yet realize it, but the General’s obsession with controlling every excuse of a settlement was actually causing more harm than he thought. There weren’t nearly enough soldiers to do all of his bidding, so it was all too easy for people like Arissa and Cayl to simply slip between two shacks and hide until the sentry guard passed. Then they were free to navigate anywhere they wanted throughout the settlement. Arissa had never been caught, keeping her cloak pulled far over her face and blending into all the other wandering, unidentifiable people.
Gripping Cayl’s hand as tightly as she could, Arissa piloted them to the least trafficked paths. His pace was beginning to slow drastically and she could feel that his skin was burning hot. Once he even announced breathlessly that he needed to stop for a moment. He leaned against a dilapidated building that was clearly once been a house and let his eyes flutter shut. Fragments of furniture and broken glass could easily be seen among the burnt and splintered chunks of wood from the house frame.
Feeling sick to her stomach, she could see the wound had begun bleeding again, staining the already saturated clothing. A steady sheen of sweat beaded on his face. The knife slice on Arissa’s arm was beginning to sting as well, becoming infected, but she remained tense and ignored the pain. Landon’s home wasn’t far. It had been dark and stormy the last time she has seen him, unsure of where she even was in a village that was basically foreign to her.
Arissa rested her hand on the side of his face, feeling her heart twist when he purposefully avoided her eyes. There was so much she wanted to say, but knew the silence was more appropriate. The next minutes could separate his life and death.
“We’re almost there, Cayl. Please hang on for me. We’re almost there. We’re together again now, everything will be over soon, I promise. You just have to hold on.”
His breathing was heavy and laboured and he was beginning to tremble from exhaustion again. After a moment of shallow gasps, he nodded, finally opening his bloodshot eyes again.
Arissa gripped his forearm, attempting to help him move more easily. The familiar feeling of exposure was beginning to creep into her again. For the first time, she actually started looking around them to observe the other people. Given, there weren’t very many on the dark paths that they were on, but they were all very clearly travellers or the broke residents of the city. Seeing a severely injured man like Cayl on the streets was nothing new to anyone and they continued on their way. The lifestyle of the territory had quickly become a “save yourself” battle of survival.
Finally, she could see the back of the building that had once been very familiar to her. The small, dark shed that hung crookedly from the back of the house looked the same, covered in a harsh dust from the blazing fire that was almost always flaming. Long rods had been attached to the walls, a few inches away to leave a gap and they were hung with new and old horseshoes of all sizes. A large woodpile filled the back corner, and there was a heap of metal chunks that had been damaged or discarded for one reason or another.
Arissa had spent a good deal of her collective memory around this house, but she couldn’t remember a time when she had been more excited to see it, as unwelcoming and shabby as it appeared from the outside.
Without even bothering to knock or call in, Arissa opened the door more forceful than necessary, repeating to Cayl over and over, “We’re here, Cayl. We made it. You’re going to be okay.” She couldn’t decide if it was more for herself or Cayl. Again, she realized a part of her had never expected to make it this far. She yanked the cloak hood off her head to be able to navigate better into the crowded room.
Hurried footsteps echoed through the frail house from the room beside them. It was dark and hard to see where they were, except that Arissa knew everything about the house like her own hand. She expertly reached into the darkness to grasp the back of a chair, pulling it away from the table that had a block of wood jammed under one of the broken legs. Guiding Cayl to the chair, she got him seated precisely as Landon burst into the room, loaded rifle in hand, ready to fire.
“For God’s sake, Arissa! Do you have any idea how close you came to getting shot?”
“No, I wouldn’t. I got stabbed instead. Cayl’s the one who got shot,” Arissa retorted back, sharply, pulling the hood off of his head, revealing his soaking wet hair and red, sweating face.
The look on Landon’s taut face was shadowed by the dim lamplight that lit the room as he gazed down at the weak and injured man. Both shock and horror appeared on his face at the same time. He quickly set down the rifle, leaning it against a corner and rushed forward to them, his brows knitting together over squinted eyes.
“You found him,” he gasped, almost in disbelief.
“He was already shot when I found him yesterday, but it got worse overnight. You were the only place I could think of that we could go without getting ourselves killed. I need Yasmine.” Arissa spoke fast and now that she was finally in a safe place where she could relax and recover for a few days, she was beginning to quiver and shake as well, feeling unnerved.
Without a word Landon nodded, the surprise and initial shock leaving his expression. He darted out of the room, calling out the name of his young wife, a skilled healer.
Arissa continued talking to her partner, but he was becoming more unresponsive, hardly able to hold himself upright. The sight of him so weak and helpless made her feel sick in the deepest pit of her stomach.
Only a moment later, Landon returned with Yasmine, a petite, pretty woman who was at least a few inches shorter than Arissa. Her dark auburn hair was pulled back into a braid, her dark brown eyes zeroing in immediately on Cayl, ignoring Arissa.
They took over from there and now Arissa only felt as if she was in the way. Landon lifted Cayl and carried him into the next room, Yasmine following directly behind him, already rattling off different things to Landon about what she needed to treat Cayl.
Arissa was left alone in the room, only the flickering lamplight left to accompany her. She suddenly felt numb and useless. She just stood, gripping the back of the chair he had been sitting on. It felt as if all of her muscles were suddenly giving out on her at once.
She sat slowly in the chair, staring off into the darkness, unresponsive. For the second time that day, for the second time in years, tears freely began to pour from her overwhelmed eyes.
Chapter Fourteen
“How are you holding up?” Landon asked, quiet and solemn as he handed Arissa a mug of steaming liquid. They were the only two in the room and an eerie sort of quiet tension had settled over them.
Arissa felt cold and more exhausted than she ever had before. She didn’t even question what was in the mug, but the moment she started drinking, her stomach began to burn and twist in hunger. Her eyes remained fixated into the darkness.
She didn’t answer with words, simply glancing up to meet his eyes and he immediately understood. He nodded, remaining quiet for a solid length of time after that, sitting beside her in silence.
At least several hours had passed since Yasmine had disappeared into the other room of
the ramshackle house with Cayl. Since then Arissa had sat through the sound of Cayl’s heart wrenching cries, which she could only imagine were from the pain of Yasmine removing the bullet. Even after it became quiet again, she lacked the energy or will to even move from the wobbly chair she sat on. It was as if she had become permanently frozen, unable to react in any way.
She had almost forgotten that Landon was sitting directly in front of her until he spoke, his voice unusually soft. “Arissa, what happened?”
In the same moment she heard his words, it was as if she suddenly relived through everything that had happened in the past months, seeing flashbacks of the terrible things. She knew he wasn’t just asking about her sudden stage of silence or how Cayl had been shot. He was asking about everything. What happened that had made her run in the first place, and why Cayl had been kidnapped.
Arissa remembered the last time she had seen Landon, when he had helped her get into Vailwood to meet with Karson. It had been the first time seeing him in a while, especially since she had been on the run. She recalled the difficulty she had had getting him to believe that she was innocent. Obviously he believed her now.
No one besides herself actually knew what had happened that night. Nobody. Not even Cayl or the General. Even the Captain had been clueless. She had never had the chance to explain, not that anyone bothered to ask. It was easy for everyone to let the blame fall on her. Now that she finally had the chance to explain herself, she felt choked up. It had taken everything in her power to do her best to forget what had happened, what she had been forced to leave behind so that she could fix it, and now she felt totally weakened by letting herself feel it once again.