by Daul, Amanda
As if on cue, he recited, “You told me not to forget about you, because pretty soon I would be stuck with you.”
Pondering the moment in her memory for a moment, Arissa was surprised that she was smiling. Even when she had been minutes from possible death, her attraction to Cayl had never been more clear to her. “I was right, the General had been convinced that I knew something that he wanted. At first, he made the guards stay in the room with us while I was there. I told him that I had a deal to make with him. Of course, he acted all high and mighty, saying that he wouldn't associate with the likes of me, the very scum of the Earth, you know. But I could see in his eyes that he wanted to know. That's when he ordered the guards to leave, saying he didn't need protection from a mere criminal. He wasted no time in asking what I had to offer.
“My deal that I offered him was simple. He and every other man in the army knew how elusive I could be when it came to tracking and hiding. His army was, and still is, made up of a bunch of juvenile idiots who could barely figure out how to ride their trained ponies. I told him I would be a valuable tool for him to have in his ranks. His new idea had been collecting criminals who had 'wronged his society' and none of his soldiers were well trained enough to start handling thieves and highwaymen. Really, I was perfect for the job.”
“You were a bounty hunter?” Cayl nearly shouted, surprised. Arissa barely had to glance at him and he quickly added, “I didn’t say anything. Continue on.”
“Yes, I offered to trade my freedom in exchange for working as his bounty hunter indefinitely. He would have readily accepted if I had not felt the need to tack on my last requirement. I made him promise and to sign an official pardon for you, because what is his word worth, really. He was willing to let go of your charges, but he felt the trade had become uneven and I would have to agree to fill a second position in his command.
“Not that it’s public knowledge, but you know how the General has been supplying his armies and trying to repopulate his cities in the territory. He promises a better life to people from the lands and countries far away from here, who are struggling even more than we are. Lying to, sorting and murdering hundreds of people in cold blood would not look good on him to the public eye. The General believes that when the Earth was heavily populated, before the wars destroyed everything, it was poisoned. He wants the public to think he’s searching for equality, when really all he wants is the control of deciding what happens to the world now as it’s built back up again.
“Everything I’ve just told you about the General are dark secrets that could cripple our nation if they were ever exposed. Have you ever wondered why all the guards and soldiers literally all look the same? Have you ever met one with coloured skin? Have you ever heard one speak with a foreign accent from a country that no longer exists or even another language? All the soldiers have dark brown or black hair. There’s never been a blonde or a man with red hair to ever step foot into these cities. There are none here, because when a person who is different tries to improve their life by coming here to serve the General, he had them killed so they don’t taint his image of a perfect world.”
“That is completely sick,” Cayl nearly gasped in horror, his eyes looking tortured with realization.
Arissa voice suddenly turned monotone. “That was my job. To contact people all over the world, convince them life here was good and to agree to basically sign their life over to the General. They would come with friends and family and as many people as they could bring with them, but they never saw the city. They had to go through what we had to call an Identification Transfer, the IT. I wasn’t the only one who worked there. There were lots of other people who were trying to pay off whatever debt they owed the General. He had become so impressed with me after how many criminals I had tracked and delivered, dead or alive, to the Vailwood prisons, that he thought he had won over my loyalty. I could never think right of a man who would do such awful things, and every day I went to work I became more ashamed of what I had gotten myself into.”
“Arissa, when you came back that day when you spoke to the General, we were both let free. That same day we left for Daer and if I remember correctly, it was only a few weeks after that when we moved into our home.”
Arissa nodded. “We own our house, but that was another condition from the General that I had made. Call me eager, but somehow I knew that we were going to be with each other after that. I needed to make sure we had a good place to live.”
There was a short pause in the conversation and they both had an expression of thoughtfulness. “I miss our home,” Cayl murmured, barely audible.
Arissa bowed her head to lean her forehead against his. “Me too.”
“After our wedding, I was hoping we would never have to leave. I knew you worked with the Governor somehow, but your job was another one of those things you wouldn’t talk about. I can see why.”
“How could I? I was in love with you, I couldn’t tell you what I had been blackmailed into doing for the rest of my life. Everything in life now is so complicated, that was one thing that could have been left alone.”
Again, there a silent pause, but the lingering conversation felt heavy on her tongue and she began talking again.
“I thought that working in the IT would be a lot easier than hunting criminals in the forests, at least I could go home every day. We had just gotten married, I hated leaving you behind for days or weeks at a time. The General didn’t even tell me what I had to do until I got there. People would come through, tired and starving and so excited to see their new home. If they didn’t meet the General’s standards, I had to send them to a different area where the soldiers would eventually take them away. It was sickening and again, I couldn’t believe what my life had come to. I saw children and old people and pregnant women come and go, being told where to go. They trusted us and didn’t know they were being sorted like cattle for a butcher. This has been my job for eight years. I murdered thousands of people this way, Cayl.”
A sick, roiling feeling was beginning to rise in her stomach and she had to fight to keep it under control. Cayl’s hand rested against her cheek, holding her tighter, completely ignoring the obvious pain he could feel. “It wasn’t your fault, Arissa. The General is a terrible person and he deserves everything that he’s going to get.”
“It’s not just him, Cayl! This is what the government has turned into! He owns everybody! If he’s not here, someone else will step into his place and nothing will change,” Arissa could feel tears streaming again, unable to control the haunting, burning images in her mind.
For nearly ten years that she and Cayl had been together, never once had she let him see her cry. It was not in her nature to show weakness and now it was as if her entire life was crashing down on her and she couldn’t hold the weight up any longer.
“The reason I think the General wants me dead is because of what I have been doing secretly for the last year.” Cayl’s interest immediately sparked, listening intently as he continued to hold her. “I am so tired of being the one responsible for this sort of horror. Eventually, I couldn’t stand watching it anymore, the faces of those people who didn’t know they only had minutes to live. I had a new plan. I was the head of the IT department and that meant I could move other people around to work in different areas. I had it set up so that the person who would bring the doomed groups out to the execution grounds out of town, would actually bring them back to the border and let them go, informing them of what had happened and returned their money. In the last year that I had this set up, I set nearly three thousand people free again. I was hoping it would somehow act as a counter for all the terrible things I’ve done in my life. My plan was far from bulletproof and I knew it couldn’t last forever, but my main goal was to save as many people as I could. I just never thought they would go to these extremes.”
Hours must have passed since they had been in Landon’s basement. It felt like she hadn’t stopped talking the entire time, not taking the time or initiati
ve to pause or look around at all. She wanted this nightmare over with and the sooner she had everything out for Cayl to see, the better. It had been so long ago though, that certain parts seemed hazy to her and she had to think several times if she had remembered exactly correct.
“Before Captain Lovett was promoted, he worked with me in the IT. He would take the people I had to reject and bring them to their last waiting area. I never liked that man, and after a few years, I understood what it was about him that I hated. He was a liar. Yes, he was doing his job, but at the same time, he was going behind everybody’s back to make a wealth for himself.”
Cayl’s expression was still confused until Arissa enlightened him. “When people came to our cities, they had to sign and agree to serve the General for life. The people who wouldn’t make it that far had to hand over any money they held because they had been told it was no longer necessary for the life they would have. It wasn’t a complete lie. I found out that the Captain had been pocketing a good deal of that money, shifting around files and records to cover his tracks. He even went as far as sending unnecessary people out to their death, just to collect. The General had made it clear that he needed every person available and now he was hundreds of men short because of the Captain’s lies.”
“But the Captain’s dead, you said. His secret isn’t gone, you still know.”
“It’s not worth getting involved in. I could bring down a lot of people with the information I know, but all I want to do is disappear. I want to leave and never have to know this world again. I don’t know who set us up, I don’t know who murdered the Governor or the Captain and I really don’t even care anymore. I just want to move on.”
“You’ve been through a lot, Arissa. I know you’re worried that I’m going to think that you’re a bad person, but honey...I don’t care about any of that. I had no idea how strong a person you really are. You may have done horrible things in the past, but we don’t live in the past. We’re living for the future, because, Arissa, we know what our future is. The General and all those other people who are trying to drag us down are just cowards looking to pick on someone smaller than they are. You are beautiful and wonderful and the most amazing person that’s left in this world.”
Arissa blinked quickly, swiping at her eyes, trying to dry them up. Cayl’s green-eyed expression was so understanding and compassionate, it made Arissa’s heart ache with love for him.
“I feel like I’ve been through hell again tonight. All I want to do right now is stop talking for the rest of the night...and just be with you. I love you,” her voice was barely perceptible.
Her eyes were suddenly shadowed with dark, intense passion as Cayl returned the same expression, his skin growing warm against her own flesh.
Without a word, he stood, scooping her up into his strong embrace, holding her tightly against his chest. Arissa reached down to throw back the blanket on the bed when they reached it and when he set her down, she stripped off her button shirt, revealing only her white undergarment and slipped under the single blanket, feeling the soft comfort of the bed against her sore and aching body.
Cayl had tossed the borrowed shirt, revealing the white bandage around his torso again and joined Arissa as quickly as he could. The burning lamplight danced, flickering golden against their bronzed skin. His strong, handsome features were illuminated in the romantic lighting, as was Arissa’s striking face. Her long eyelashes cast shadows out over her cheek bones, fluttering whenever she blinked.
She couldn’t get close enough to her husband that she had missed for so long, pressing herself closer as their passionate kiss deepened. Their fingers intertwined, Cayl’s smooth, even breathing quickly relaxed Arissa, as if the stress and horror of the day had never happened.
In the next moment, the lamp suddenly burned itself out, leaving them alone in the darkness, with only each other for comfort.
Chapter Eighteen
When Arissa awoke the next morning, she didn’t feel sore and groggy like she had been expecting. She finally felt at ease, peaceful and safe, even though the world above them was still the same maddening place, having Cayl with her again made her feel complete.
Cuddled against his warm chest, Arissa let her fingertips trace around his muscles as she stared into the darkness. It felt like her brain had gone into a complete shut down after her flashbacks from the night before. Not wanting to face the world, she didn’t want to move ever again, just stay sunken into the warm bed, filled with memories of their night together.
It was nearly an hour until Cayl awoke beside her. Neither spoke, but he met her with a lengthy kiss, sufficiently helping pull her completely out of her exhaustion. Immediately, her heart soared as it always did by his gentle touch.
The air in the room was cool but even in her thin, sleeveless undershirt from the night before, she felt comfortable with Cayl beside her.
There was no way of knowing what time it was or even if was morning, but Arissa finally felt hungry. She asked if Cayl felt the same and when he responded, she sighed, bracing herself for the chilly air.
Only then did Arissa realize that there was a faint light cast over the room, the same way it had been last night. It startled her for a moment, when she remembered that the lamp had burned itself out the night before. However, before she could be alarmed, she saw that beside the glowing lantern, was a large, covered platter. Stuck under one corner was a folded piece of paper. Either Landon or Yasmine must have come down earlier, while they had both been asleep yet.
Arissa sat down at the table, pulling the note free and unfolding it. Before her eyes could adjust to the dim lighting enough to see the words, she started when she felt Cayl's hand on her shoulder.
“What does it say?” he whispered, keeping his warm hands pressed against her shoulders.
She unfolded it before responding, quickly sweeping over the elegantly handwritten words. It was definitely Yasmine's writing, because Arissa knew that Landon's hand was less than legible. There were brief instructions about the medicine she had included with the warm food under the lid for Cayl and went on to say what had happened since they had been hidden beneath the house.
“‘Patrols were here looking for you,’” Arissa read aloud to Cayl. “There was a rumour that someone had seen you both travelling in the area and they were ordered to search every building until they found you. Do not worry, you are completely safe where you are. Landon left to his blacksmith shop to meet with someone he thinks may be able to help. Do not come out of hiding until he comes for you.”
They were both silent for a moment, pondering Yasmine's warning. Of course, Arissa hadn't expected that they would be able to travel straight through one of the most populated towns for travellers and not be noticed, but she had been hoping it would have taken them longer than this to restart their manhunt for her. The important thing was that Cayl was healing and Yasmine was right, nobody could find them as long as they were there.
“We can't hide forever. Soon, we'll have to leave and that puts us back to square one,” Arissa whispered sadly.
Cayl still stood behind her, sweeping his hand up to rest against her cheek. She leaned into his touch, and sighed, folding the letter before she let herself read it again. Swiftly, Cayl pulled the second chair around so that it was nearly touching Arissa's.
“Let's not worry about it right now. Just focus on what we've accomplished so far. And food, because I'm starving.”
Smiling, Arissa attempted to push out all worrisome and negative thoughts from her mind while they ate the stew that Yasmine had brought them. It was chunks of meat and vegetables floating in the rich gravy, the type of wholesome meal that Arissa had not seen for a very long time. Again, she thought about what a smart idea it had been of her to store so much food. Even though she and Landon were far from wealthy, they would always be able to eat well.
“How are you feeling?” she asked Cayl after she had finished her bowl, washing it down with one of the mugs of comfortably warm tea.
Cayl nodded, but slowly, signalling discomfort. Even though he had taken the medicine Yasmine had sent in a small paper fold, his face was still strained with agony. “It's still sore, but I'll heal. No need to worry.”
“Yeah, right,” Arissa remarked. Her eyes were still tired and with nothing else to do, going back to sleep sounded like an amazing idea. But as much as she tried to force her problems from her mind, the more intense and demanding they grew.
Cayl stacked the bowls on the tray and covered them again. “I know what you're thinking.”
“You usually do, so why should that surprise me?”
“It shouldn't. But you're right. We don't know how long it will be until it's safe to leave, but we have to have a plan when we do.”
Nodding, Arissa agreed, but then added, sadly. “That's true, but actually, I was thinking about Raze.”
Confusion flickered in his eyes for a moment. “Raze? Your horse? Why? Where is he?”
Arissa shrugged, saddened. “I don't know. I lost him on the Varkland mountain. He got spooked and ran when we heard a gunshot. I don't know what happened to him or even if he made it home.”
“Maybe he went home. He knows his way to our stable and everyone there knows him. I'm sure he's safe.”
She hoped so. Raze had been her best friend ever since she had found the gangly, starving colt, abandoned outside a rubble town. It was when she had first started her bounty hunting job and she had raised him into the showy stallion he was now. In the last ten years, she had never used any other horse except her own. Raze had become a special part of her and if anything had happened to him...she didn't want to think about it.
Thinking back to when she had gotten her horse made her remember everything she had explained to Cayl last night. She didn't want to, it was the last thing she wanted to think about, but it became more and more difficult until she just blurted it out.