“Homeopathic remedies,” she answered. “Teas, hot or cold compresses, or a TENS unit—transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation—usually does the trick. I put in that large jetted tub when I bought the bungalow, and soaking in it is a dream. I’ve been lucky that I haven’t had to deal with anything more severe than sore muscles since I got clean. I don’t do medicine of any kind.”
Charlie remained silent behind her and she wondered if she’d have to say good-bye to him again. Wondered if he’d finally realize how much baggage she brought with her. Their sex was phenomenal, but was it worth dealing with her issues?
“I’ll be right back,” she said, sliding out of bed. “I need to go pee.”
The dim nightlight in the master bath caught the sheen of tears on her cheeks, her runny nose. Not wanting Charlie to come after her, she did her business, then turned to the sink, wetting a washcloth but leaving the cold water tap on full blast to muffle her sniffles.
Dammit. She should have had this conversation with Charlie when he’d first arrived, instead of being distracted by his kisses. Should have clued him in to the reality of her life, her recovery, her fucked-up, nonexistent relationship with her family. She should have turned him away at the door.
“Siobhan.”
She kept her face hidden in the washcloth for a moment before lowering it, then opened the door. Charlie stood in the doorway but the darkness made his expression unreadable. The way he’d called her name, heavy and low, flooded her stomach with apprehension.
“Whatever you’re thinking, it’s okay,” she said, wanting to give him an out. She injected lightness into her tone. “I knew when I told you all this that there was a real possibility that I wouldn’t see you again. I mean, I can’t get my own daughter to acknowledge my texts and e-mails, and my father hasn’t said anything to me other than ‘get out’ in almost a decade. Because of that, I don’t expect anyone to be forgiving or nonjudgmental.”
“Is that what you think I’m doing? Judging you?”
She tightened her grip on the washcloth. “Not today, but you did before. I understand, and I’m sorry.”
He moved then, taking the facecloth from her and tossing it onto the counter before circling his arms about her waist. Resistance gripped her for a brief moment but her body betrayed her, seeking the comfort of his warmth, his arms. He pulled her snug against his chest, tucked her head beneath his chin, and simply held her. It was the best feeling in the world.
His voice was a deep soothing rumble when he finally spoke again. “You’ve got nothing to apologize to me for.”
“I should have told you earlier.” She swallowed the lump in her throat as she surreptitiously wiped at her eyes. “You should have known before we got involved so you could have cut your losses. I’m sorry I’m not what you thought I was.”
“I thought you were a beautiful and sexy woman who’s slightly bent. I still do.” He kissed her shoulder. “As for cutting my losses, I wish I could say that I wouldn’t have done that, but the truth is I don’t know what I would have done.”
“You would have done what you thought best for you and your family, just like you did this time,” she answered. “I know I’ve got a big black mark against me. I know some people can’t look past that. I’m a recovering drug addict almost five years clean. While I think I’m in a good place and I’ve managed to carve out a good life with friends who support me, I knew it wouldn’t be fair to continue seeing you and meeting your family while concealing a major part of who and what I am.”
He stroked a hand down her back. “It was brave, what you did.”
His praise warmed her, though she hardly felt as if she deserved it. “Maybe bravery means doing what needs to be done because you feel as if you have no choice, as if the other option is worse, as if the consequences of not doing it are far worse.”
She cradled his hand between the valley of her breasts. “Maybe you’re being brave too if you plan to keep seeing me.”
“I’m not being brave.” He tightened his hold on her. “I thought about the risks and benefits of being with you. Then I made the decision—with a little help from my sister, of course—to be with you.”
“Yes.” She moved against him. “It would be hard to walk away from this.”
“I agree, but that wasn’t why I made the decision I made.”
“What was it then?” she asked, tensing despite the desire not to.
“Actually, it was a realization more than a decision. I realized that you are worth it. Being with you is worth it. Having you meet the rest of the family is worth it. Seeing where this goes, definitely worth it. But most of all, you, Siobhan Malloy, are worth it.”
Siobhan closed her eyes as a tremble coursed through her. She couldn’t tell him how much his declaration meant to her. Discovering her self-worth had been a long arduous process and she’d had several emotional setbacks during the crumbling of her familial relationships. While she knew she had worth, had value, it was still powerful to hear it from someone else.
“Thank you,” she whispered, her voice thick. “I’ll do my best not to expose your family to any of my drama. And I swear, if I think there’s a chance that I’m going to hurt you or your brothers and sister, I’ll walk away.”
“No one’s walking away from anyone else,” he said, retrieving the washcloth to dab at her cheeks. “That’s not how we O’Hallorans roll. Now come back to bed so I can hold you while we fall asleep.”
“All right,” she agreed, not wanting to argue with him now that they’d committed to their relationship. Still, she knew that she had a responsibility to protect Charlie and his family from her past and not let it impinge on the present or the future. She’d have to be even more diligent against moments of weakness now. If she’d been strong enough, selfless enough, she wouldn’t have allowed him in the house, much less back into her bed.
She couldn’t bring herself to do that. The past two months with Charlie were some of the best she’d had since she’d opened the café. He made her heart race, her body sing. He made her laugh and sigh and scream with pleasure. She wasn’t ready to give that up yet. She wasn’t ready to give Charlie up.
Tucking her head beneath his chin, emotionally and physically exhausted, she settled against him, then relaxed into sleep.
NINETEEN
“Will you stop peeking out of the window?” Charlie demanded for the umpteenth time. “You’re going to give Mrs. McGowan a complex.”
Lorelei dropped the edge of the curtain but didn’t step away from the window. “Are you sure she isn’t lost? Did you give her the right directions? Maybe you should text her again.”
“She said she’s on the way,” Charlie pointed out, again for the umpteenth time. “That means she’s on the way. Now will you please back away from the window? You’re freaking people out.”
He meant Kyle, who was in the kitchen checking on the food. Again. Kyle had gotten progressively more anxious as the weekend approached, planning and replanning the menu as if it were a state dinner. Charlie finally had to put his foot down. He knew Siobhan would be happy with whatever they served, just as he knew she was equally as nervous about meeting them as they were about meeting her.
Nobody was as nervous as he was. Keeping up his outward calm was automatic, something he’d had to do since he became head of the family. Inside, though, his stomach roiled with anxiety. He wanted this introduction to go well. Needed it to be smooth. His family meant everything to him, but Siobhan was coming to mean more to him every day. Spending the night with her, waking up pressed against her softness . . . nothing could beat that. He wanted more of that. He wanted everything Siobhan wanted to give him. If he could have it all . . .
“She’s here!” Lorelei bounced from foot to foot. “Oh, my God, she’s got an awesome convertible. She’s looks like a movie star!”
That brought Finn to his feet and Kyle in from the kitchen. The plan was for Charlie to greet Siobhan outside, help her with any packages, then bring
her in to meet his siblings in the family room. That had been the plan.
“I’m gonna see if she needs help.” Lorelei yanked open the front door and stepped out. Finn followed, leaving Charlie staring at Kyle’s questioning face.
“Come on, bro,” Charlie said, clapping his brother on the shoulder. “Might as well show her how we O’Hallorans roll.”
He stepped through the open doorway just as Siobhan stepped out of her vintage cherry red convertible looking every inch the retro movie star, with large sunglasses hiding her eyes and a blue and white scarf covering her hair. He was almost disappointed that she wasn’t wearing one of her trademark sundresses, but the formfitting navy crop pants accentuated her curves as did the sleeveless red and white blouse. Damn, she was a beautiful woman.
Glad he wore an untucked shirt over his khaki cargo shorts to hide his now-expected reaction to seeing her, Charlie stepped forward to kiss her cheek. “Hello, beautiful.”
A smile bowed her scarlet lips as she removed her scarf and sunglasses, revealing hopeful eyes. “Hey, yourself. I’m sorry I’m late.”
“You’re not late.” He slipped an arm around her waist, turning her to face his siblings. She tensed, the only indication of her nervousness. “You already know Lorelei.”
Genuine warmth flooded Siobhan’s tone. “Hi, Lorelei. It’s really good to see you again. Feel free to come by the café anytime. Your next drink is on me.”
“Thanks,” his sister answered with a huge smile. “I’ll do that.”
“And these are my brothers,” Charlie said, silently noting how Siobhan leaned against him. “The tall one is Kyle and the short one drooling all over the hood is Finn.”
Finn looked up from admiring the car. “Is this a fifty-seven Falcon?”
“It’s a fifty-six, actually.”
“Cool. Can I get in?”
“Finn, can you at least say hello before you start asking for rides?”
Finn ducked his head. “Hi, Siobhan. It’s-nice-to-meet-you-can-I-get-in-your-car?”
“I don’t mind, but it’s up to Charlie.” She looked at him so sweet and serene that it was difficult not to kiss her again, a real kiss. They were outside though. Mrs. McGowan stood on her porch openly gawking, and his siblings were poised to bark at any affectionate displays. Proper kisses would have to wait until they were alone.
Finn turned pleading puppy dog eyes to Charlie. Normally Charlie was made of sterner stuff, but this was the best possible icebreaker for Finn. For all of them. “You can get in. But don’t touch anything.”
Finn rolled his eyes. “I have to touch stuff to get in. Duh.” At least he took his time slipping into the driver’s seat.
Siobhan turned to Kyle. “Charlie told me that you like strawberries.”
Kyle darted a look at Charlie, and his Adam’s apple bobbed before he answered. “Yeah, I do.”
“I made a strawberry cake for you,” she said, slipping out of Charlie’s hold to reach to the backseat floorboard. “I’m not much of a baker—I leave that up to my partner, Nadia—so if you don’t like it, we’ll chuck it and go with something else.”
Kyle’s shoulders relaxed as he accepted the cake container from Siobhan. “I bet it tastes great.”
Charlie breathed a sigh of relief. So far, so good. “Okay. Let’s head inside before Finn asks you to go for a ride.”
“Aww,” Finn groaned, apparently about to do just that.
“Maybe we can go for a drive after we eat,” Siobhan suggested. “As long as Charlie says it’s okay.”
“We’ll see,” Charlie said, herding them all toward the door. “Siobhan, welcome to the O’Halloran homestead, also known as Crazy Town. Lorelei, how about giving our guest the five-buck tour?”
Charlie hung back, watching as Siobhan interacted with his siblings. A week ago, having her here in their space seemed like an impossibility as he’d reeled from the story she’d told him. Even now he had moments of disbelief that the beautiful goddess of a woman currently charming the pants off his family had at one time nearly burned a house down around her and her child because she’d been stoned out of her mind.
Lorelei quickly led them through the upper floor, where she, Finn, and Kyle had their bedrooms—the boys’ rooms flanking their shared bathroom, and Lorelei’s suite, because she refused to share a bathroom with her brothers. Charlie had the house remodeled a few years ago to give his siblings an opportunity to create space for themselves and as a way of moving forward. Changing his parents’ master suite into his private retreat had been harder than he’d thought it would be, especially since he’d had to convince Finn and Kyle that he wasn’t trying to erase their parents’ memory. They’d kept the family room almost the same, with their father’s recliner having a spot of honor and their mother’s hand-knitted afghan draping the back of the massive sectional. The room flowed into the updated kitchen and the bright breakfast nook with sliding doors that opened onto the lanai and the backyard.
Siobhan stepped through the patio doors. “Oh, you have a garden?”
“Our mom loved to garden,” Lorelei said as they made their way to the fenced-in patch of vegetation. “We keep it up to honor her memory.”
Siobhan blinked rapidly, her hand over her heart. “Can we go see it?”
“Sure,” Charlie answered. “Kyle?”
Kyle led them across the yard to the fenced section that got plenty of sunlight. Orderly rows of drought-tolerant vegetables formed the bulk of the raised beds, but they also had a couple of fruit trees, berry brambles, and a grapevine that had seen better days. Between the shed and the fence sat a bench Lorelei had decorated with butterflies when she was twelve. Beside the bench stood a sun-catcher mobile, with bright crystals in the shapes of suns and trees.
“I found a local artist to make that for us,” Charlie said as they gathered around it. “It’s another memorial to our parents. I’ll come out here sometimes and talk to them.” Much better than going to the cemetery and staring at their gravestone. That wasn’t how he wanted to remember them, cold and still underground. His mother was sunlight, brightening the day with her laughter and love. His father was a tree, providing shelter in his wide-open arms and keeping them all grounded.
“I talk to them too,” Lorelei admitted. “I feel close to them here.”
“Me too,” each of his brothers added.
Siobhan slipped her arm around Charlie’s waist, giving him a comforting squeeze. “What a beautiful tribute,” she said, her voice shaky. “I can feel the love here.”
Lorelei and his brothers shared watery smiles as they stepped closer to her. The moment seared itself into his memory, the moment they all connected. He tripped, skidded, and fell headlong into something that could have been love but was definitely more than lust. Siobhan fit with them, fit with him. He’d do everything he could to convince her of that.
“This is wonderful,” Siobhan said, easing them out of the emotional silence. “And it looks like you have a nice variety of things growing.”
“Kyle’s the garden captain since he uses a lot of the stuff when he cooks.”
“Stuff?” Siobhan repeated, one eyebrow raised. “You mean herbs and vegetables?”
Recognizing her teasing, Charlie shrugged. “You mean the stuff that tries to overwhelm the meat on my plate? Yeah, that stuff.”
“That stuff is good for you,” she protested. “Your body needs that stuff.”
“I try to tell them that,” Kyle volunteered, surprising Charlie. “Then they ask if they can have it covered in cheese.”
“Cheese?” Siobhan recoiled in mock horror. “Why do you want to smother a poor, defenseless vegetable like that? What did it ever do to you?”
“It decided not to be meat,” Charlie joked, which earned him a snort and a slap on the shoulder.
“You’re lucky your charm outweighs your eating habits, mister,” she teased him as she stepped inside the fence. “Wow, you guys have done an impressive amount of work with your garden. I
think I’m jealous.”
“That’s all thanks to Kyle, our future engineer,” Charlie told her, not holding back his pride. “He came up with this drip installation system and a rainwater collection system. He also fabricated a way for us to repurpose some of our wastewater.”
“Wow.” She turned a high-wattage smile in Kyle’s direction. “Maybe you could come over and help me design a system for my garden.”
Kyle’s ears burned deep red as he dipped his head and hunched his shoulders. “I don’t know if I could do that.”
“Well, we’d make sure Charlie was okay with it, but this is pure genius.” She squatted down beside one of the plants. “If you’re not already, you should totally think about being an agricultural or horticultural engineer. You’d be great at it. Now tell me what you’re doing to make your lettuce grow so full.”
Charlie watched as Kyle—shy, anxious Kyle—knelt beside Siobhan and began to talk. Quietly at first, Kyle grew more confident in his responses until he led Siobhan about the garden, talking animatedly about growth cycles and fertilizer and other things that usually made Charlie’s eyes glaze over.
“I like her,” Finn said in his usual abrupt way. “She’s nice to Kyle. Do you think she likes to play video games?”
Charlie had to take a moment before he could speak past the lump of relief in his throat. “It wouldn’t hurt to ask her. We’ll play some after dinner and see if she’ll join in.”
“Cool.”
“Hey, Finn,” Siobhan called. “Can you come help us? Some of these veggies are ready and we could use an extra hand.”
“Okay.” Finn scurried off to join them, leaving Lorelei and Charlie alone.
Lorelei crossed her arms. “I’m not going to say I told you so, big bro,” she said with a smug smile. “Let’s just say that I know that you know I did, and we’ll leave it at that.”
“Remember who’s paying your tuition, young lady.”
“The best brother in the world,” she shot back, her tone saccharine. “The guy I want to be happy more than anything. So don’t screw this up.”
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