Tyler must think I belong in an asylum by the way I appear. My poor Jace, he will think everyone is going to leave him. First Faye, now the father he never knew. I have got to get it together. I follow Tyler to an elevator at the other end of the garage. He guides me inside and presses the button for the tenth floor. I stand with my back to him. I am so embarrassed that he has had to see me this way.
I feel like pure hell. God why did this have to happen? “Why did you take Brian,” I ask silently in my thoughts. The lies I told were not supposed to end in this way. “Lord, I was supposed to be able to make amends for my wrongs. I wanted to give Brian and Jace the life they deserved.” I pray silently for this to be a nightmare that I will soon wake from. I’m not sure I am strong enough to face this. Faye always said the Lord doesn’t give you anymore to carry on your shoulders than you can lift. My shoulders feel pretty heavy right now. I feel like I am sinking fast. I am a sinking ship without an anchor. I look at Tyler and he is trying to be my anchor, he is trying to keep me afloat, but I honestly don't know if it will be enough.
The elevator dings, and I follow Tyler down a narrow hall lined with black doors on either side. There are a few welcome mats here and there. He stops abruptly in front of a door numbered 710. Following him inside, I take in the charm of his place. The kitchen is off to the right. The appliances are high end, stainless steel. The kitchen opens to the living room. His living room is spacious and has a warm feel to it his furniture is tan and cream. The whole front wall of the living room is one large window that looks out to an ocean view.
To the left, the apartment stretches down a hallway to what I assume to be the bath and master suite.
“Just make yourself at home. You can lay on the couch or you can have my bed if you want.”
“I think I want a shower,” I tell him.
He reaches me the bag he packed for me and leads me down the hall. He flips on the light and leaves me to myself. It is your standard guest bathroom. It has a fairly decent sized shower. The tiles are a nice clean white. The shower curtain is a sterile white as well. I pull back the curtain and turn on the faucet. While the water heats up, I gather my toiletries from my bag and take a towel and wash cloth from under the sink.
Once I’ve stripped of my dirty clothes, I step under the water. I can’t really tell if the temperature is too hot or too cool. However, the water is soothing to my weary mind even if it stings the cuts on my legs. I keep trying to scrub the images from the news from my head. Rinsing the shampoo from my hair, I step out of the shower and slip into my robe. As soon as I step into the hall, I bump straight into Tyler’s chest. He grips my arms, steadying me. We stand there for minutes just looking at one another. I can feel his heat radiating through the sleeves of my robe from his touch.
He looks like he’s having a battle within himself. All I want is for him to take me right now into his room and have his way with me. Controlling my body, my thoughts—all of me. I want to be owned by this man. I want him to claim me. I’m tired of playing it safe. I don’t care if he says he doesn’t want a relationship. Right here, right now, I want him any way I can get him.
Taking the initiative, I lean onto my tip toes and crush my pout to his full soft lips. I am so nervous, I am shaking. There is no more denying that he is very much a part of me. He pulls back from my swollen lips. “Aria,” he says my name in a hoarse whisper.
“No talking Ty, right now, I need this. I want this. I want all of you, anyway I can have you. Even if it is only for right now, I want to be yours. Show me how you feel about me.”
He lifts me up, taking me into his arms. I wrap my legs around his waist. With one hand, he his holding me flush against him and with the other he is gripping my hair. Our lips meet desperately. His kisses are so hungry. I can’t get enough of him, I feel frantic. My tongue tangles with his. I can’t breathe. In this one moment, nothing else matters, he’s mine.
My back is slammed against the wall and a picture falls. The sound of glass hitting the floor isn’t enough to break our hold. My robe falls to the floor, leaving me fully exposed to him. He rolls my nipple between his fingers. His mouth greedily takes over pleasuring my other breast. I reach my hands up and inside of his shirt, my nails rake across his skin. He lets out a growl of appreciation while biting my shoulder. I grind my wet, slick center against his finger when he pushes it inside of me.
“Oh yes, Tyler, don’t stop. Faster.”
“Sugar, I am going to fuck you so hard, you won’t be able to walk straight for the next week. You’re going to still be calling my name for weeks on end.”
He grabs my ass firmly with both hands and carries me to his bed. I crawl to the headboard giving him a perfect view.
“You are wearing too many clothes.” I tug on the buckle of his belt as he sinks down next to me.
With help from me, he sheds his clothes.
Spreading my knees apart, he runs his hands down the length of my body, until he reaches my throbbing pussy. He smacks my glistening mound. “If I take you right now, there will be no turning back between us. You understand?”
“Please, Tyler. There is nothing I want more than for you to fill your pussy with my cock. I want you to claim me. I want to live in your world with you.” I take his length between my hands and guide him into me.
“Your cock,” he growls in my ear as he pushes further in me.
“That’s right Tyler, you said there is no going back. Now this…” I wrap my hand around the base of his dick as it is sliding in and out of me, telling him, “belongs to me.”
“Fuck.” He starts hammering into me faster. Getting on his knees, he puts my legs over his shoulders. He throws his head back, as I grip the sheets trying to hold off from my orgasm a little longer.
“I’m so close,” he whispers in a strain.
“I want you to fill me with your come, Tyler. I want you to come all inside of me.”
“Roll over,” he commands pulling out of me, and I ache without his warmth filling me.
He lays kisses all down my back stopping at my ass, he bites my left cheek hard. I arch my back and push my ass up, giving him perfect access. I buck my hips as his dick stakes its claim on me. Just as I told him to, he fills me with his passion.
He collapses beside of me, bringing my hand to his mouth, placing a tender kiss on the back of it.
Eventually, Tyler gets up and puts on a pair of shorts, and hands me my robe. After going to the bathroom, I make my way into the hall to grab the broom from the closet to sweep up the glass.
Chapter Sixteen
The intensity of the day takes its claim over me as I drift to sleep in Tyler’s arms. I awake a few hours later in a cold sweat. An image of Brian’s car keeps playing through my head. Then I flash back to grade school when I first met him. He looked even more like Jace then. We were on the playground and he accidentally hit me with his bat. After that day, we were inseparable, until the day I changed the courses of our lives forever. I don’t even realize I am talking and mumbling, until Tyler replies to what I am saying.
“You ready to talk to me about everything.”
“I’m ready to try.”
Tyler cradles me closer and kisses the top of my head. I clear my throat and try to find the words.
“Where do you want me to start?”
“Tell me everything about you and Brian. I want to hear anything you want to share with me.”
I start by telling him the playground story. I share with him how Brian always wanted to play baseball, and how proud I was to see him play on live television living his dream in the diamond. We talk about the day that changed my life forever, the day I learned I was pregnant with Jace. All the emotions I felt, happy, excited, scared —like my life was ending. We talk about the emails and how life seemed to only help my lies grow stronger. I tell him everything leading up to the night Brian showed up on my door.
“I am so sorry I slept with him. I wasn’t thinking straight. I was so hurt from what I th
ought you had done. I used him to forget my grief. I used him to get back at you. I felt so torn. I knew it was wrong, and yet I did it anyways,” I confess.
“Sugar, you can’t take it back. It kills me to know that you thought I hurt you and deserted you, when you needed me the most. And as horrible as it sounds, I hate Brian for being the one to comfort you, and for taking what’s mine. But, at the same time, I am grateful that he gave you Jace. I’m sorry that Jace will never know his dad and that you have lost another person you care so much for.”
“I blame myself. I knew he was drunk, and I let him walk out the door. I should have stopped him. I was just so scared of what he might do.” My tears return as I begin to spiral back into the black void I deserve to live in. But, Tyler is here and he is refusing to let me give up on life, on us, on being Jace’s mother.
He keeps soothing me and reassuring me that there is nothing I could have done to save Brian from himself. When nice doesn’t work, he comes at me. “You’re taking the coward’s way out Aria. I won’t let you sink into a depression and hate yourself. You are a good person, you hear me.”
I can’t listen to him sing my praises right now. I change the subject and ask about him. I mean I know Tyler, but there is so much I don’t know about him.
We start with his childhood. He grew up in the Midwest, with his parents, and his older brother Davie. He attended UCLA on a full soccer scholarship. His brother’s care fell to him once his parents fell ill themselves and were no longer able to care for him properly. He had an offer to go to Brazil to play soccer, but he couldn’t walk away from his family.
Davie had muscular dystrophy and he required around the clock care that his family couldn’t afford. Tyler finished college with a business degree and he threw himself into any job he could get to pay for his brother’s care, but nothing seemed to be enough. He answered an ad for a job at Indigo for a bouncer and worked his way up and earned a place with the MC.
His brother passed away last year from his illness, it was very hard on him. He tells me had his parents not needed him so much, he may have never moved to Florida to take care of them. They are in a senior living community not far from Miami, and most of his income is used to pay for their needs so that they aren’t put under state care.
Tyler was in love once, or so he thought, but once his sweetheart found out that he wouldn’t be her ticket out, she up and left him high and dry. She actually had the nerve to tell him that if it weren’t for Davie they would still be together when he bumped into her a few years later.
I am amazed that this wonderful man can find room in his heart for me. But, now I see why we are so drawn to one another. We’ve both sacrificed for those we love. I make a vow to myself to be the kind of woman that deserves his love. Life is too short. This past week is proof of that. I never could have imagined I would lose my mother and my first love in a week’s time.
Tyler spends the rest of the night showing me and telling me how deserving I am of his love. He rolls on top of me. Looking me directly in the eyes he tells me over and over again he loves me between kisses. Digging my nails in his firm ass I pull him closer to me. It feels as if my hunger for him will never be filled.
**
The next day, I have Tyler take me home so I can get Jace. There is so much I need to take care of.
I call my dad and ask if he knows what the arrangements for Brian’s funeral are. He gives me the information reluctantly, telling me that it might not be a good idea for me to go the funeral.
Jace will not have this taken from him too. He has every right to be there, even if he isn’t old enough to understand. Tyler is able to take time away from Indigo and the club so that he can accompany Jace and me home to West Virginia for Brian’s funeral.
I call Chrissy and explain to her that I am going to need a few more days off, and she says it’s not a problem, that Jessica can cover my shifts. She reminds me that if I need anything to call Bender. Like that will happen.
I tell Tyler that he doesn’t have to go to the funeral, but he insists that he wants to be there for Jace and me. He feels guilty that he wasn’t there for me when Faye passed away.
My mail stack is out of control, sorting through it may take me a year. There is a notice that the lease on the house will be up in twenty days. The owner wants me to call him and let him know if I plan to renew or move out. Another thing I will have to worry about after my trip back home to West Virginia.
Part of me is so scared to take Jace to the funeral. I know Brian’s mom is going to be so hurt and angry with me. I need to talk to her. I have to explain what happened. I hope she can forgive me for hurting her family and that she can accept Jace into her life. I will never get over what I have done to Brian, however, part of him lives on through Jace, and he will always remain a part of me as well.
**
The moment has come to board the plane, and I am so sick. My best friend and the father of my son is gone. He will now forever rest in his field of dreams. I only hope that when the time comes to really explain to Jace about his father he understands.
It feels odd to be bringing my new man home to meet my dad for a funeral.
I hope my dad likes Tyler. It feels so strange and yet so right when the three of us hand over our boarding passes.
Jace does great on the plane. He just has to sit with Tyler while I on the other hand get seated beside an older lady who wants to talk my ear off about organic fruit.
When we land, Tyler rents a SUV at the airport for us. We are staying the night at my dad’s. I cannot wait to hug his neck. I just wish I was coming home under different circumstances.
Driving through these mountain roads brings back so many memories. I feel like a ghost of my former self driving through my hometown. Tyler is getting a little carsick from the winding roads, therefore we pull over at a gas station, so I can take over the wheel. Jace has slept most of the way. I think the winding roads have managed to soothe him, unlike Tyler.
It is the edge of dark when we pull into my daddy’s driveway.
Images of Brian riding his bicycle down my lane pass through my mind briefly as I look up the street to where we used to play as kids at the playground.
“Home sweet home,” Tyler says with a soft smile. I am so anxious to see what my dad’s impression of Tyler will be. I know he is so excited to spend some time with Jace. He rarely gets to.
The porch light flickers on as my dad holds the front door open for us. He looks older than I last remember, but it has been more than a year since he last came to Florida for a visit. His hair has thinned and is now fully gray. “Well, come on in. Sis, it sure is nice to have you home.” He gives me one of his tight bear hugs.
“Easy old man, you’re gonna crack a rib.”
Tyler comes through the door with Jace shyly holding on to one of his legs.
“Come on and give Pops a hug,” dad says, squatting down and holding his arms open.
“Go on Jace, don’t be shy.” I pry him loose from Tyler. He reluctantly gives him a hug.
Dad sticks his hand out to Tyler, “Nice to meet you son.”
“Sir.”
“Now call me Jim, none of that fancy city talk for an old country boy like me.” he laughs and Tyler relaxes.
“Jim it is then.” Tyler shakes hands with him. They go on through the house talking football, or some sport that I don’t care to hear about. By the looks of them, they will get on with each other just fine.
I take mine and Jace’s bags to my old room and set Tyler’s in the guest room. I know better than to even think of sharing a room with Tyler under my daddy’s roof. Being in my old room is almost like taking a trip back in time. My daddy hasn’t touched it since I moved out. My dance trophies are still setting in the same spot. I lift the corner of my mattress and my old diary is still there as well. I pull it out and start skimming the pages. It is more like a timeline of Brian’s life while we were in high school than my own.
It doesn’t matter
which page I turn to; his name is written here. The last entry is from the night I broke his heart.
Dear Diary,
I can’t believe I was able to go through with my plan. I broke Brian’s heart along with my own in the process. My life will not be the same without him. He is all I have ever known. I have lost my one and only love, my best friend, the other half that keeps me whole. I hope one day we can find each other again.
Yours truly,
Aria
The tears I cried that night still stain the paper. You can still see where my tears blotted the ink. I look out my window, and I am taken back to that night. I can hear his screams as he pounds against my front door begging me to say I’m sorry, and I didn’t mean any of it. I didn’t want to mean it. His behavior that night was a perfect example of what I never wanted for Jace, or myself, no matter how much I loved him.
I am broken from my thoughts by the sound of Jace’s tiny footsteps hitting the stairs and coming down the hall in search of me. Closing my diary, I toss it to the side, and I scoop Jace up in my arms. I squeeze him tight and we rejoin the guys downstairs.
Chapter Seventeen
The time we get to spend with my dad isn’t nearly enough. My daddy sends Tyler and Jace to town to grab us all breakfast. I suspect that he wants to have a talk with me when he asks that I join him at the table. Taking my seat, I pray he doesn’t want to talk to me about Brian. “So, you and this Tyler guy, are ya serious about him?” His eyes narrow on me over the brim of his mug as he takes a drink of his black coffee.
“I care for him a lot, and he is really good with Jace.”
“Just be careful, you have been through a lot in a short period of time, and I would hate to see you rushing into something when you’re not thinking straight.”
Dirty Truth (Fighting Dirty Series Book 2) Page 11