Sad Love

by Mj Fields

  “What does it matter?”

  “I don’t know, I just want to know if you’re okay.”

  He laughed, “Does it really matter?”

  “I told you it did,” she said softly.

  “Yeah, and I told you I didn’t fuck Jenny,” he laughed.

  “Wow,” she hung up.

  ~

  Two days later, he walked in the door looking like hell. He was unshaved and his clothes wrinkled.

  “Honey, I’m home,” he laughed.

  “You’re drunk,” she said.

  “No, actually I’m high,” he laughed, “Are you going to make me dinner?”

  She went upstairs and packed a bag he walked up and grabbed it.

  “I thought we were going to get through finals baby,” he kissed her neck.

  Tessa lost it, she punched him about five times, and he laughed with each blow. When he had enough he pinned her on the bed, and she couldn’t move.

  “You want to do me?” she asked.

  “You consenting?” he asked.

  “Let go of my hands and I will show you” he laughed, and she grabbed him and squeezed as hard as she could.

  He yelled out, and she pushed him off, “Not consenting asshole-- hitting you the only place it matters.”

  She ran down the stairs.

  Alex and Phoebe pulled in.

  “Shit!” Tessa yelled.

  He came downstairs and looked at her. His glare was fierce.

  “You haven’t told them, have you?” he laughed tauntingly.

  “I don’t want them to hate you,” she said, “Behave!”

  They walked in, and Lucas sat on the couch.

  “Hi guys,” he smiled.

  “Hello, how was San Francisco?” Alex asked.

  “Oh wonderful, best moments of my life,” Lucas laughed. “Baby would you grab Alex, and I a beer? Phoebe do you want one Tessa is in a very welcoming mood today.”

  “No, I can’t,” she smiled.

  Tessa looked at her and smiled.

  “Are you?”

  She shook her head, and Tessa hugged her and cried.

  “Congratulations,” she hugged Alex and grabbed them a drink.

  “That’s great” Lucas said sweetly, “Tessa baby, come sit with me?”

  “Oh Lucas… I’m very busy,” she wiped her tears.

  “Did you ever tell them about our baby Tessa?”

  “Lucas that’s enough,” she felt herself start to shake.

  Alex looked at her, “What’s going on Tessa?”

  “Lucas has had too much to drink,” she said. “I think he was about to head upstairs to sleep it off.”

  CHAPTER 25

  Tessa woke up the next day, and Lucas was downstairs going through files of paperwork.

  "Hello," he said.

  “Hi”

  “Can we talk?” he asked and she sat down across from him. “What’re we doing here?”

  Lucas’s tone was very businesslike.

  She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. “I really don’t know what you’re asking”

  “Well let’s start with us, are we going to get through this?” he asked.

  “We are both going to be fine once we get past all the hurt,” she answered.

  “No, Tessa are we ever going to be back together?”

  “No,” she couldn’t look at him.

  “Okay, so the house…”

  “It’s yours.”

  “Okay, what about all the land?”

  “I don’t know what you and Dad discussed?”

  “Well we have ten acres, he sold it to me for next to nothing so you can have it, just let me keep the two that surrounds the house.”

  “I want to know how much I owe you for it.”

  “I’m not worried about it,” he said dismissing her.

  “I am.”

  "Fine it was like two hundred dollars an acre.”

  “Okay so I owe you sixteen hundred dollars.”

  “You got it?”

  “Yes.”

  That’s almost all she had, her plane ticket to hell cost almost two grand.

  “I want an agreement that if you sell, my family gets first chance to buy.”

  He smiled, “You’re tough Tessa”

  “Is that it?” she asked swallowing hard.

  “Do you need a break?”

  “No.”

  “Do you have somewhere you need to be?”

  “No,” she whispered.

  He got up and grabbed a couple bottles of water and handed her one.

  “Assets.”

  “What assets?”

  “We have a savings, Tessa,” he said and pushed the book over to her, and she pushed it back.

  “Lucas WE didn’t, what are you… like fifty?” she asked looking down.

  “No, but I have been on my own for a very long time. I’m pretty good at a few things and money is one of them,” He said, and she looked down, “I want you to see Tessa.”

  He had over one hundred and fifty thousand dollars in the account.

  “Good job Lucas,” she smiled quickly.

  “That does nothing in this situation?” he asked knowing the answer.

  She laughed and shook her head, “It’ll pay for lots of condoms and plenty of therapy.”

  He tried not to smile. “How much do you want?”

  “Look at me; I want nothing, just what I said. If you sell, we get first option to buy, and I want to pay for the land,” she stood up.

  “We aren’t finished, let’s get this done,” he said, and she sat down and crossed her arms in front of her.

  “Furniture?”

  "Just my grandmother's cabinet," she said. “And my mixer.”

  “What about your piano?” he asked avoiding eye contact.

  “I never really had the chance to get very good at it,” she said coldly, and he smirked.

  “There she is,” he looked at her. “Let’s have it.”

  “I didn’t do this, and I don’t want to fight, Lucas .”

  “So we’re done here.”

  “No, my demands.”

  “Let’s hear them,” he said looking at her.

  “You have two finals tomorrow, pass them.”

  “Okay.”

  “We have a graduation party here next weekend invitations already sent to everyone, another surprise, all sent out the day you left for San Francisco, it’s for both of us, be here.”

  "Fine.”

  “I haven’t told anyone yet, I want to get through the party. I don’t want everyone feeling uncomfortable. I’m not sure where you were for two days, and I really don’t care but I would like to know who you have told.”

  “No one,” he answered.

  “I’ll move out the next day.”

  “Anything else?”

  “Our relationship: good and bad things Lucas was between you and I. No one needs to hear about our shit.” She swallowed hard, “What you said yesterday to Alex and Phoebe was very poor timing, and it was mean.”

  “I apologize, Tessa.”

  “And you have to be okay. You have to not fall apart, or blow off everything that you have worked for.”

  “Okay and how about you?”

  “I’ll be fine, I want you to still be friends with our friends, and I want you to stop thinking you need all that attention to feel worthy, Lucas. It wasn’t a sex thing… it was you needing to feel needed and wanted. I’m sorry I wasn’t enough for you, I’m sorry that I…” she took a deep breath and looked down, “I’m sorry I needed to do this for me. But that will never change, I’m not some needy week plastic fake whore. Tell me you’ll try to be okay.”

  “Is that all I can do, Tessa?” he asked softly.

  “Yes, Lucas.”

  “Then I will,” he said and she walked upstairs.

  She came back down and grabbed her laptop, and he was on the phone with a lawyer. She looked at him and wanted to slap him, kick him, anything but still love him. What was
wrong with her, why did she feel this way?

  ~

  The graduation party was huge… she had overdone it in a major way. But everyone was enjoying themselves. She and Lucas were civil and neither drank.

  “Hey Tess,” she heard from behind her it was Ben.

  “BEN,” she yelled and hugged him.

  “You did it, girl,” he smiled.

  “So did you, right? I didn’t get an invitation or anything,” she laughed.

  She saw Lucas, Miguel, and Jessie. Lucas grabbed a beer. She looked away.

  “I’m going to wait. I’m only home for a few more days and then back overseas. I need to tell you something.”

  “I want to sing.”

  “Sounds great,” Ben smiled. “But first, I want you to know I got engaged.”

  She smiled and hugged him, “Congratulations. Where is she?”

  “She’s in Italy; I am going back in a couple days. My parents insisted I come home to do dinner with our family for graduation,” he grabbed her hand, and they walked to the DJ booth.

  “Ladies first, but I’m picking,” he smiled.

  The music started, and Tessa smiled at Ben, it was Ironic by Alanis Morsette. And it was, and no one around even knew. She walked away and grabbed a drink. Ben started singing Name by the Goo Goo Dolls, and she grabbed Kendall and danced. Lucas brought Jessie out and danced. It appeared that everyone was having a good time.

  “Tess come sing with me… hopefully your future hubby won’t be too upset, hey Lucas I’m getting married in a year too buddy so you can relax now,” he winked.

  Tessa looked at Lucas, he was pissed.

  Tessa grabbed Lucas, “You promised.”

  “Your number two is getting married Tessa, you may want to say something to him or I can,” he smiled at her.

  “No Lucas, I’m good thanks,” she walked away.

  Lucas grabbed her hand, “Hey Ben, play us a song buddy, dance with me Tessa.”

  She grabbed a beer, “Fine.,”

  Ben sang Hook, by Blues Travelers. Tessa laughed and looked at Ben. He immediately followed with Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Deep Blue Something. Tessa looked at Lucas, and he was stiff and angry.

  “Please Lucas, don’t drink anymore tonight.”

  “Why Baby?” he asked, “You are.”

  “Don’t call me baby, and don’t drink,” she snapped.

  He smiled “Does HE know?” everyone watching them dance.

  “No, of course not!”

  “Everyone’s looking Tessa,” he rubbed his nose against hers.

  “Stop,” she said quietly.

  He kissed her and held her head tightly to him, “You better do better than that.”

  Tessa stepped down on his foot hard he had sandals on.

  “Thank you for the dance,” she smiled and hugged him and snapped in his ear, “Cut the shit.”

  “Come on, Tessa,” Ben laughed in the microphone.

  She slammed a beer and grabbed Kendall. They sang Dancing Queen and everyone danced including Lucas and every female at the party.

  Tessa was buzzing. And Lucas requested a song the DJ called her up to dance with him.

  “You're pushing it, pal,” she smiled for those watching.

  "Listen to the song, Tessa," he kissed her neck. “Remember this?

  It was Eternal Flame the song from the first time they danced together.

  “I remember everything, Lucas.”

  “Don’t get sad this is what you want,” he rubbed his hand down her back and pulled her into him.

  “Lucas stop,” she pulled back.

  “Why am I tarnishing your squeaky clean image?”

  She pulled away and started walking towards the house.

  “Hello everyone! Tessa baby come here,” she heard Lucas on the microphone. “We would like to thank you all for coming to our party.”

  He grabbed her hand. She looked at him and smiled.

  “Isn’t she just perfect?” he rubbed her face gently. “Well I’m not -- huh baby?”

  “Lucas has had a bit too much to drink” she smiled nervously, “Come on, Lucas.”

  “No, Tessa I think we should share our news with everyone. So Tessa is very talented isn’t she?” he said and looked at the crowd, “She can sing, and shake that perfect untouched ass,” he said looking at Ben. “Take notes buddy, untouched, that’s one thing she would never do.”

  “Lucas enough,” she pleaded, “Please.”

  “No, baby they deserve to know, they’re your friends and family. Tessa is also a great actress; she’s been fooling you all for a week. We were going to save the surprise for tomorrow but to save her from retelling the story to each of you-- listen carefully.”

  She started walking away, and he grabbed her hand.

  The music still played in the background, and she felt body shake slightly and unwelcome tears welled in her eyes. She felt cold, numb, embarrassed, and the pain in her chest was almost crippling. She looked at everyone staring at her, and finally let out a breath, and she could hear him going on and on.

  “Tessa and I are not getting married; she broke things off in San Francisco when she, being so amazing flew out to surprise me. Well I don’t think she expected me to be balls deep in a girl I met at the hotel bar. So Tessa had already invited you all here another surprise and to not disappoint any of you she made me promise not to say anything. She didn’t want it to be uncomfortable for you. Fuck it, the least I can do is save her from explaining this all to you right? Well a few drinks later and here I am, letting you know Tessa is single, and very capable of pleasing, as a matter a fact she is fucking perfect. So Ben, you can be number two buddy. And Alex and Phoebe…” Tessa pulled her hand away and ran in the house.

  Landon grabbed Lucas and walked him to the car.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” Landon pushed him against the car.

  “Exactly what you taught me to do,” Lucas laughed. “Now… take your damn hands off me and let me go back to my party.”

  Lucas pulled away and walked back to the party.

  Some of his team mates were there still, Miguel had walked in the house to use the bathroom Tessa was telling everyone she was fine and to take care of Lucas.

  “He’s hurting just as much as I am, don’t you dare be nasty to him,” she warned them all.

  She stood doing dishes when Miguel walked up to her, “You want me to get him out of here?”

  “No, it’s his house but thank you, please make sure he’s alright?”

  “You're serious aren’t you?” he asked looking at her in shock.

  “Yes I am,” she continued doing dishes.

  “Tessa I’m so sorry,” Miguel hugged her.

  “Miguel, I’m fine,” she smiled.

  They heard yelling, and Tessa ran outside Ben and Lucas were on the ground, and Alex and Ryan were breaking them up. Both had some nice cuts on their faces.

  “You’re nothing but a piece of fucking white trash Lucas you piece of shit bitch,” Ben yelled and pulled away from Alex.

  Tessa ran and grabbed him.

  “This party is far too exciting as it is Ben… let’s walk,” she grabbed his hand.

  “She gives a mean blow job,” Lucas yelled.

  “Yeah, I know fucktard,” Ben yelled back.

  He looked at Tessa and saw the shock on her face.

  “I’m so sorry,” he tried not to laugh.

  Tessa and Ben both began laughing, and couldn’t stop.

  They were about half way to camp when she finally held her stomach and took a deep breath. Ben hugged her tightly and let out a breath.

  “Damn it, Tess,” Ben closed his eyes.

  “It’s been one hell of a night, now my whole family knows all about my business,” she said laughing again.

  They walked more and sat in the field.

  “How are you?”

  “Perfect,” she laughed, “Even Lucas says so.”

  “Okay Tess, but really how are you?”
Ben grabbed her hand.

  “First love thing, remember, I will be fine,” she said, “We should go back I’m sure I have some explaining to do.”

  “I should probably take off, you need help tomorrow?”

  “No, but you’re going to let me clean that up before you go anywhere,” she touched his cheek.

  They walked back both laughing, Tessa looked at their mother’s, Maggie looked pissed, his Mom kind of proud. Ben and Tessa laughed as they walked in the house. Jade was scolding Lucas as she cleaned him up and Tessa grabbed the first aid kit and cleaned Ben’s cut.

  “Who looks worse Tess?” Ben chuckled.

  “Don’t push it Ben, you’re in my house,” Lucas yelled and Jade smacked him in the head.

  “Damn it, Jade,” Lucas said and Tessa laughed.

  “Could you do that again?” Tessa smiled at Jade.

  “Why don’t you come over here and do it yourself Tessa? I’m sure I deserve more than that bitch Ben dished out,” Lucas sneered.

  “Lucas I’m sure I wouldn’t be able to stop,” she and Ben laughed.

  “So who got it worse?” Ben asked grinning.

  Tessa walked over and looked at Lucas, “You okay?”

  “Why do you care!” he yelled.

  She smiled, “How’s your hand?”

  “None of your business,” he said pouting and looking away.

  She grabbed it, and it was swollen, “Did you ever follow up like they told you to?” He looked at her and scowled, “Lucas, it’s really swollen”

  “It’ll be fine,” he said.

  “Tess, if you need help moving out tomorrow I’ll be back, text me. Lucas you look like shit, did you break your hand on my chest,” Ben lifted his shirt and smiled he kissed her head and grinned, “Bye girl.”

  Tessa laughed and shook her head.

  “What do you think, Tessa? Is he back in the running since this asshole doesn’t know how to behave?” Jade biffed him in the head again.

  “He’s engaged and happy. Lucas and I met her she was nice right?” She asked Lucas.

  “Yeah wonderful,” he said rolling his eyes...

  She asked Jade to go get her Mom.

  “I don’t think...” Lucas began.

  “No, kidding you don’t think," Tessa laughed in attempt to not scream and cry like she really wanted to.

  Maggie thought it was infected, or re broke he needed x rays and blood work.

  “I’ll take him tomorrow,” she said. “Mom, I’m sorry about all that.”