Flashback

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Flashback Page 21

by Shannon Messenger


  Do you think something happened? Sophie asked, hating to give the question a voice.

  I doubt it. Silveny would’ve called for you.

  I guess—unless she did and I was sedated . . .

  That worry was sharper than the others—the words shaping into claws.

  You okay? Fitz asked as she scrambled to bury the monster.

  I might need to take a break, she admitted, hating herself for the weakness.

  Is this who she was now?

  Someone who crumbled at the tiniest obstacle?

  You’re not being fair to yourself, Fitz told her. Just relax and breathe. Let your mind shut down if you need to. I’m going to try one more thing, but I can do it by myself, no worries.

  What are you going to try?

  I think it’s time to let Silveny worry as much as she’s worrying you.

  I’m not sure if that’s a good idea, she warned.

  But Fitz was already gathering his concentration.

  SILVENY! he transmitted. PLEASE! SOPHIE NEEDS HELP!

  Still no reply.

  Um . . . now I’m really starting to panic, Sophie admitted as the monster stirred in the shadows. Maybe we—

  Her thought was cut short by a terrified mental blast.

  SOPHIE OKAY? SOPHIE OKAY? SOPHIE OKAY?

  SIXTEEN

  I’M OKAY! SOPHIE PROMISED.

  But cold waves of Silveny’s panic crashed into her mind anyway, and she locked her jaw, fighting to remind her brain that the emotion wasn’t hers.

  I just needed to know you’re safe, she added, repeating the last word until relief flared like mental sunshine, sending the monster scattering.

  Too bad Silveny wasn’t so easily subdued.

  She shoved her consciousness into Sophie’s memories, and when she got to the parts with black cloaks . . .

  I’m okay, Sophie insisted as a fresh wave of emotion slammed into her head—this time a mix of rage and horror and disgust.

  She fought back with images of herself in the Healing Center: drinking medicine and smiling at Keefe and Fitz and generally looking much healthier than she really was.

  Elwin’s taking care of me—see?

  But Silveny’s thoughts fixated on Sophie’s bandages. NOT OKAY! NOT OKAY! NOT OKAY!

  And with each repetition, she filled Sophie’s mind with images of silver-tipped hooves kicking and stomping the black cloaked figures into the ground.

  Dude, Fitz transmitted. Remind me to never make an alicorn angry.

  I know.

  Silveny had always been an overprotective mother hen. But now she’d gone full-on mama bear—her anger twisting into something much darker and colder, until it shaped into a word Sophie had never heard her use before.

  HATE!

  I know, Sophie told her. I hate what happened too.

  NO! HATE BAD PEOPLE!

  Oh, Sophie said, cringing away as Silveny’s thoughts added in lots of snapping and biting.

  BAD PEOPLE! Silveny repeated. HATE! HATE! HATE!

  Hey, Sophie said, sending peaceful, calming images: endless starry skies, perfect for midnight flying. Verdant meadows perfect for galloping. Glistening streams perfect for splashing—or taking a long, slow drink. It’s going to be okay.

  NOT OKAY! NOT OKAY! NOT OKAY!

  Silveny’s mind circled back to the attack, fixating on the moment Umber’s darker shadows sank in and spread, and it was clear the furious alicorn somehow understood the significance of that moment.

  Tears pricked Sophie’s eyes and she shut down the replay. I’ll make her pay for that—don’t worry.

  WHEN? WHEN? WHEN?

  Soon, Fitz jumped in, sending Silveny images of the training Biana and the others were doing—all imaginary, of course. And Sophie’s eyes burned again when he imagined her and him joining the others.

  SOPHIE . . . FIGHT? Silveny asked.

  Yes, Sophie told her. We’re going to make sure they never hurt us again.

  Silveny sorted through the words, trying to make sense of them as she replayed Fitz’s training scenes.

  HELP! she decided. HELP! SOPHIE! FIGHT!

  No way, Sophie transmitted. That would be much too dangerous.

  But Silveny’s mind had latched onto the idea.

  HELP! SOPHIE! FIGHT!

  HELP! SOPHIE! FIGHT!

  HELP! SOPHIE! FIGHT!

  Sophie rubbed the space between her eyebrows, gathering the mental strength to transmit STOP!

  You have to protect your baby, she reminded her.

  The last word poured down like a rainstorm, washing all of Silveny’s other thoughts away.

  That’s right, Sophie told her, transmitting what she imagined baby Silveny was going to look like—all gangly legs and sparkly fur and fluttering wings.

  Okay, that might be the cutest thing ever, Fitz transmitted.

  Silveny seemed just as affected, clinging to the image as her mind shifted from utter bliss to pure joy to bubbling hope to . . . worry.

  Why are you worried? Sophie asked, her heart screeching to a halt. Is the baby—

  BABY OKAY! BABY OKAY!

  But Sophie could still feel a cloud of worry casting a shadow of doubt in Silveny’s mind.

  What aren’t you telling me?

  BABY OKAY! BABY OKAY!

  Then why—

  A stream of new images cut off the question—nonsensical things: tiny alicorn hooves, rivers and grassy fields, windy skies, piles of food, Silveny and Greyfell, then more tiny alicorn hooves, and it all piled up in her head until it felt a lot like responsibility.

  And then it clicked, and Sophie could breathe again.

  You’re going to be a great mom, Sophie promised. And Greyfell’s going to be a great dad.

  She sent images of both alicorns nuzzling their baby.

  HOPE! Silveny told Sophie. HOPE! HOPE! HOPE!

  You know what will make you a good mom? Sophie asked, waiting for Silveny’s YES! YES! YES! before she told her: Keeping your family safe.

  BUT SOPHIE FAMILY!

  A lump lodged in Sophie’s throat. You’re my family too—that’s why I want YOU to stay safe.

  SAFE! SAFE! SAFE!

  Silveny filled Sophie’s head with white dunes covered in thick stalks of beach grass and frothy waves in the background. The place was a bit starker than some of the other spots the alicorns had chosen to hide, but it was quiet and empty, with plenty of food for them to graze.

  SAFE, Silveny repeated. KEEP FAMILY SAFE.

  It took Sophie a second to realize the words were an invitation.

  That’s very sweet, she told her, sending an image of herself stroking Silveny’s velvety nose. I’m sure you and Greyfell would keep me out of trouble. But I can’t leave Havenfield.

  She couldn’t even leave the Healing Center at the moment, but she decided not to remind Silveny of that.

  Silveny wasn’t surprised by the answer—but her thoughts still faded to a dull gray. And Sophie grabbed the opportunity.

  You could come visit me Havenfield is safer now than it’s ever been, and—

  NO! VISIT! NO!

  Sophie sighed. Why don’t you trust me anymore?

  TRUST! TRUST! TRUST!

  If that were true, you wouldn’t ignore my calls—and don’t even try to tell me you haven’t been. The only reason you responded today is because Fitz made you worry.

  BUSY! Silveny told her. BUSY! BUSY!

  Somehow Sophie doubted that a sparkly flying horse had all that hectic of a schedule.

  Please, she transmitted, I can’t fix the problem if you won’t tell me what it is.

  NO PROBLEM! NO PROBLEM! NO PROBLEM!

  Yes, there is. You never used to avoid me. Or cut our chats short. I miss you.

  MISS! Silveny agreed.

  Then what’s keeping you away? Sophie asked. Is it Vika?

  Silveny’s mind shuddered. NO VIKA! NO VIKA! NO VIKA!

  She’s not going to hurt you—I won’t let her.

  NO V
IKA! NO VIKA! NO VIKA!

  Okay, Sophie said as a warm rush trickled into her brain, giving her a much needed boost.

  She realized Fitz had sent the energy and smiled her thanks before she told Silveny, If you really don’t want Vika, maybe Edaline can check on you instead—

  NO CHECK! NO CHECK! NO CHECK!

  Someone HAS to check on the baby, Silveny.

  NO CHECK! NO CHECK! NO CHECK!

  Why not?

  BABY OKAY! BABY OKAY!

  You don’t know that for sure.

  BABY OKAY! BABY OKAY!

  Sophie gritted her teeth. I don’t understand why you’re being so stubborn about this.

  Or . . . maybe she did.

  I know doctors can be scary, she tried. I used to be terrified of them. But they also save lives.

  Silveny ignored her, repeating, BABY OKAY! BABY OKAY! and NO CHECK! NO CHECK! NO CHECK! as her mental walls thickened, slowly shutting Sophie out.

  Fitz must’ve sensed it too, because he jumped in, transmitting, OKAY—NO CHECK! He held up his hand to silence Sophie before she could remind him that the Council wasn’t going to let him keep that promise.

  NO CHECK RIGHT NOW, he clarified. Not while Sophie needs you.

  NEEDS? Silveny asked as Sophie mouthed the same word.

  NEEDS! Fitz repeated. Sophie probably doesn’t want me to tell you this, because she doesn’t want you to worry. But . . . ever since the attack, she’s had to take sedatives to block all the nightmares.

  Sophie wasn’t sure how much of that Silveny understood. But the alicorn caught at least two words.

  SOPHIE NIGHTMARES?

  Yes, Fitz agreed as Sophie fought to block the voices that kept haunting her. And you used to help her sleep, didn’t you?

  HELP! SOPHIE! SLEEP! Silveny agreed, sending a blast of warmth along with a memory of the two of them soaring together in the sky.

  I can’t right now! Sophie told her, shaking her head to clear it. I just woke up.

  But tonight, Fitz jumped in. Will you help Sophie sleep tonight?

  TONIGHT! TONIGHT! TONIGHT! HELP! SOPHIE! SLEEP!

  Fitz flashed a triumphant smile, and Sophie grinned right back at him. It didn’t solve the baby checkup conundrum—but at least Silveny was cooperating. And hopefully once they were in regular contact, she could figure out what was really keeping the stubborn alicorn away.

  And hey—maybe Silveny’s help would save her from taking so many sedatives.

  Thank you, she transmitted more to Fitz than to Silveny, smiling wider when Silveny said, SOPHIE! TALK! SOON!

  Soon, Sophie agreed.

  Silveny severed the connection, and Fitz’s grin shifted into movie-star mode.

  Team Fitzphie for the win!

  “Keefe’s right,” Elwin said, making them both jump. “You two do stare into each other’s eyes a lot.”

  “It’s how we concentrate,” Sophie argued, becoming very interested in smoothing her disaster of a ponytail.

  “I’m sure that’s what it is,” he teased. “And I take it those triumphant smiles you had a few seconds ago mean Silveny finally agreed to come in for a checkup?”

  “Not yet. But she will,” Fitz said, with a confidence Sophie wished she could feel. “But we did get her to agree to help Sophie with her dreams. So now Sophie can skip the freaky sedative.”

  Elwin shuffled his feet. “I’m not sure that’s the best idea. The system we have right now is working.”

  “But you’re changing up all our other medicines anyway,” Fitz reminded him.

  “I’m only changing the ones that aren’t doing their job,” Elwin argued. “And the sedative isn’t one of those. Plus, the tricky thing about nightmares is, by the time I know they’re happening, Sophie’s thrashing and screaming and the echo’s already done its damage.”

  “True,” Sophie admitted, letting any excitement she’d felt fizzle away.

  “But Silveny’s helped you with nightmares tons of times before, hasn’t she?” Fitz pressed. “And you hate sedatives.”

  “I know. But it’s fine.”

  She gave him her most reassuring smile—which must not have been very convincing, because Fitz reached up and ran a hand down his face.

  “Okay,” he said after a second, “what if I monitor your dreams tonight? That way I’ll know the first second they start to shift—if they start to shift—and can wake you up and make you take the sedative instead?”

  “You can’t stay up all night,” Sophie argued.

  “Yes I can. I just slept for two weeks. I’m good.”

  “It doesn’t work that way,” Elwin informed him. “Our bodies don’t store sleep in reserve.”

  “Fine, then I’ll nap today,” Fitz countered. “And tomorrow if I need it. It’s not like I have a lot on my schedule.”

  “Uh, you’re busy trying to recover from almost dying,” Sophie reminded him. “And sleep’s a pretty important part of that. Seriously, Fitz. It’s super sweet of you to offer, but—”

  “Please,” he interrupted, leaning toward her. “I can’t make the echoes fade, or get us out of these cots, or stop my creepy brother from moving back home. I can’t work on any of the training we should be focusing on. But I can do this. Please don’t make me lie here tonight feeling useless instead.”

  The words sounded a whole lot like the desperate plea she’d given Keefe when she’d begged him to give her skill lessons. And the intensity in Fitz’s eyes made her heart ache and want to flutter away.

  Elwin sighed. “If you really want to try this, I guess I can’t stop you.”

  “We do,” Fitz agreed—then seemed to realize he was speaking for Sophie. “Don’t we?”

  Her itchy eyelashes told her there was a very good reason why giving Fitz access to her dreams was a seriously bad idea. And the thought of him seeing the monster made her want to bury her head under her pillow.

  But . . . she kept hearing him call himself useless.

  And she’d definitely love to break free from the sedatives.

  “If you’re really up for it,” she said, needing to make sure.

  “I am,” he promised, and his lips curled into his meltiest grin.

  “Fine,” Elwin said, the sound more of a groan than a word. “But as soon as Alden and Della leave, I want you doing some serious napping!”

  “My parents are coming?” Fitz asked.

  “No keeping them away,” Elwin agreed. “Should be here within the hour. Don’t worry—I told them it’d have to be a short visit and that they couldn’t get emotional.”

  “Right, like that’s going to happen,” Fitz muttered.

  • • •

  His parents tried—they really did.

  Considering they hadn’t seen their son awake in more than two weeks, there were shockingly few tears. But there were a whole lot of choked apologies and weepy voices and lots and lots of blinking.

  And hugs. So many hugs.

  Elwin finally had to warn them about Fitz’s cracked ribs.

  Sophie wished she could give them privacy for their family reunion and told herself not to eavesdrop. And she’d been doing a pretty good job—until Fitz started asking about Alvar.

  “We still don’t know the exact day he’ll arrive,” Della told him, reaching for the hand Fitz had pulled out of her grasp.

  “But it’ll be soon,” Fitz pressed.

  Alden nodded. “The house is ready. It’s passed every possible security protocol.”

  “What about the emergency override?” Fitz asked.

  “I removed your brother’s DNA from the gates the first night I learned he was with the Neverseen,” Alden told him. “You know that.”

  “Yeah, but he still knows where the override is,” Fitz argued, and Sophie had to bite her tongue to stop herself from asking, What’s the override?

  “He doesn’t, actually,” Alden corrected. “His memories are gone, Fitz.”

  “For now,” Fitz snapped back.

  Alden pinched th
e bridge of his nose. “If your brother went anywhere near the override, we’d know. And if he tried to turn off the gates, Dex’s gadget would render him unconscious before he could leap away. He also doesn’t have the code to activate the panel. But if it would make you feel better, I can station one of the goblins there.”

  “Two,” Fitz countered.

  “Fine,” Alden promised. “Feel better now?”

  Sophie did. But Fitz ignored the question.

  “What about your office?” he asked. “Why haven’t you let anyone search there?”

  “Because I’m an Emissary for the Council and ninety percent of my records are highly classified. I can’t have your sister and her friends rifling through them because you’re trying to punish me!”

  “If we were trying to punish you, we’d trash the house,” Fitz argued, sucking in a long, calming breath. “We want to check your office because we’re trying to stop whatever the Neverseen are planning.”

  “I can assure you, son, if the answers were in there, I would’ve found them. I’ve searched my office.”

  “Since the Tribunal?” Fitz verified.

  “Yes. Twice, actually. There’s nothing but books and papers and some creatures swimming behind glass. But even if there were something more interesting than that, my office is also locked—very thoroughly. No one has access but me.”

  “Alvar won’t even have access to the main house,” Della added quietly.

  “Until you let him in for the big Welcome Home Dinner,” Fitz grumbled.

  “I’m not planning a dinner, Fitz.”

  “You will.”

  “Please don’t do this,” Della begged. “Let’s not use what little time we have to argue. Especially since it puts you at risk.” She placed her hand over his bandaged chest, like she was trying to feel the echo. “We’ve been so worried.”

  “Yeah, I’m sure. Sophie told me how much time you spent here, waiting for me to wake up.”

  Sophie would’ve traded all of her abilities to be a Vanisher right then—or for a nice tall cliff to jump off and teleport away.

  Instead she had to settle for slinking farther under her covers.

  “That’s not fair,” Della told him. “They didn’t want us drawing attention to the Healing Center.”

  Fitz rolled his eyes. “Yeah, and it’s not like you can turn invisible or anything!”

 

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