“She’s knocked me on my ass a couple times,” Marsh said. “Of course, I was smaller then. She’s willing to stay?”
“She needs to protect Ren from my disgusting influence.”
Ren sat at communications, a small smile playing over his mouth.
Sully drifted to my chair and rested one arm across the back, his fingers lightly on my shoulder. Chasidah. He was hesitant. Okay?
I didn’t know if he was asking if I was okay, he was okay, Marsh was okay, or all of the above.
Me, he said. With you.
I’ll try not to stab you with my dagger for at least another shipday.
I can live with that.
“We need to talk about Dock Five,” I said out loud, angling around in the chair to peer up at him.
“Tage thinks he’s just made sure I’ll be shot on sight anywhere we make dock. That’s probably true for a Fleet starport. I can’t let it be true for Dock Five, or the rim. I don’t care if people hate me, but they will respect my captain, my crew, my ship. And when it comes to that, my mission. I’m not going to run away and hide. That’s what Tage wants. I’m not going to give it to him.”
I didn’t want to. I didn’t like it. But I didn’t stop Sully when he set our course for Dock Five.
We were about five hours out of the jumpgate and things, if not wonderful on board the Boru Karn, were at least calmer. Marsh had come to me with a few more questions about what he’d read, but that wild, fearful look was gone from his eyes. Dorsie was angry, protective, and cooking up a storm.
“If that son of a bitch gives you any trouble, you let me know,” she’d said, wagging an old-fashioned metal whisk in my face. “I can’t believe he lied to me. I loved that man like family for years. It’s not him, I know that. It’s that monster that lives inside him.”
Oddly, the monster inside Del appeared to bother her less. “He’s Stolorth. He can’t help it. Ren explained it to me.”
Dorsie had almost rejected Ren for the very same monster she’d thought lived inside him. But going through that process and accepting him again seemed to have cured her of that fear. And only solidified her affection for Ren and all things Stolorth, evidently. Her anger at Sully, not unlike her nephew’s, had more to do with the fact that he’d lied.
So this time Sully’s crew hadn’t walked, though they were tiptoeing now and then. And carrying a big whisk.
I lost track of Sully after dinner. Verno, Ren, and Marsh were on duty. I’d moved schedules again because of Del. I wasn’t going to pair him with Marsh until I was sure he wasn’t going to enslave the man. Smiles or no smiles.
I checked the ready room, galley, storage areas, gym. Ship’s interior sensors showed Del’s cabin empty. I don’t know what made me think of the shuttle bay. Bad memories? But when the hatchway was locked, I knew.
Sully? I’d been mentally calling him for over an hour. But I’d been guessing then, sending out my queries at random. Now I envisioned the bay, envisioned Sully, and put some impatience behind my voice. Sully!
Nothing. I had one last option. I keyed in the emergency overrides, complete with retinal scan and that damned annoying female voice that Sully insisted came with the ship and wasn’t his doing.
The doors opened.
I stepped into the Kyi.
Limitless power surrounded me, rushing through the pores of my skin. For a moment I was floating, nothing under my boots. Then just as suddenly, I was on solid ground. Or rather, I had my feet under me, I was balanced, I could move, but nothing around me resembled solid ground or the shuttle bay where I’d found Gregor and Aubry attacking Sully.
I was inside an enormous silver sphere, up and down defined only by my current location. I knew without knowing how that if I wanted to go to a point I’d define as “overhead,” it would become, when I got there, “underneath.” Static. A workable plane of existence.
There were areas of the sphere where stars clustered, bright as a handful of gems. There were others that reminded me of mountaintops wrapped in gauzy clouds. Others were nebulas. In between it all was the darkness in various shades of gray, black, and deep blue.
Part of my mind told me I should be afraid. Part of me was. The other sensed a deep familiarity. I’d been here before, though not quite like this. It had never hurt me. Still, what if—
Chasidah.
I turned toward the voice, recognizing it with relief. Sully walked toward me, a long black coat billowing out around his legs as he moved. He wore black pants but was shirtless, his bare skin glowing brightly except where the coat covered his arms and shoulders. No light escaped there.
A containment field. I didn’t know how I knew that. I just did.
Del wore a similar coat on Narfial.
Del. I didn’t see him. I didn’t want to try to feel for him. But I knew he was here, somewhere. This…whatever…around me was not Sully’s doing.
He was frowning. How did you get here?
“The shuttle bay door?” I replied, my voice rising not so much because my answer was a question but because I felt my answer was obvious. Didn’t everybody get here through a door?
He was close enough now that I could see the flashes of lightning dancing over his face, his chest. So not Sully, but Gabriel.
“It’s been over two hours,” I told him. “This is not a big ship. When I can’t find you—considering what’s been going on—I get worried.”
Part of me—the rational part, the part whose heart was pounding in her throat and whose hands were sweaty—said the hell with Sully, I should be worried about Chaz Bergren standing in an energy field that never before existed in this shuttle bay, having a conversation with a Kyi-Ragkiril who had lightning bolts running rampant through his body. Whose eyes were infinitely dark. Whose presence exuded a palpable power that expanded like heavy-air turbulence with every step he took closer to me.
The other part of me refused to play the game. I stood my ground. “What are you doing here?”
The frown lessened. Training. Navigation, for one thing.
He was an arm’s length from me. Last time he’d been this close without a bed underneath us, I’d shot him.
If we use the old Kyi gates, he continued, we’ll arrive at Dock Five that much sooner. And if we need to leave, we have options I can use.
“Options are good, Sully. I’m just not sure this method—this place—is the best for all concerned.”
This place is what I am.
“But it’s not the only thing you are.”
Warmth cascaded down the side of my face, brushed across my shoulder. I’d never hurt you, ky’sara-mine.
“I’m far more worried about your safety.”
An elegant shrug, shades of Del in the movement. There’s no need. I’m quite capable. Of many things, he added, and this time the warmth moving down the side of my face was because of his fingertip, tracing my cheekbone, the line of my jaw.
Sensations of pleasure streamed through me. My eyelids fluttered. I leaned into his touch like a flower turning toward light…but this light contained ecstasy and the heat licking between my thighs was beyond erotic.
His mouth closed over mine, his tongue probing, tasting. His fingers pushed into my hair. I felt his body under my hands but I felt his body as if it were mine, felt his hardness throbbing, just as he felt the heat inside me turn liquid.
I splayed my fingers over the ridge of muscles in his chest, the coarse curled hair, rough, his skin, slick.
He pulled me tightly against him, arms like bands across my back. I cupped his face, wanting more of him, deepening the kiss—
No. There was something else, someone nearby…I jerked back, wrenching out of his arms, ignoring the pain and confusion on his face.
“Damn you, Regarth! You are one sick bastard.”
I looked past Sully’s right shoulder. I knew exactly where he was.
He moved out of the shadows with the same grace Sully had, long coat swaying over dark pants, lapels open over a bare
chest. His aura was distinctly silver-blue, where Sully’s was pure silver. Blue-white lightning swirled under his skin.
He exuded power, sensuality, more than on the Karn or on Narfial. I could easily see the prince, the Serian-Prime, scores kneeling at his feet, dozens calling him Master.
We were involved in an important lesson when my best student disappeared. The fault is not mine, angel.
“I’m not your angel.”
Sully grasped my shoulder, firmly. I wasn’t sure of the message. Protecting me from Del, or Del from me?
And you were concerned I would compel Ganton into cooperating, Del was saying. That’s quite a link you and Gabriel have.
“It saved his life once.” I wondered if I hadn’t done so again.
Del laughed. Only interrupted his studies. Was I boring you, Gabriel, that your mind wandered, drawing her here?
Chasidah found her own way here.
Ridiculous. The Kyi—
Recognizes her as part of me. It welcomes her. She’s not a threat.
No? A baseborn freely accessing the power? Apparently I’m not the only one who holds minds in thrall.
Baseborn? I was about to make a comment I was sure Del wouldn’t like when I felt a twinge of irritation from Sully. We’ve been over this. There’s no false compulsion between us. Just equality.
Del raised his chin. Except when she demands you not be what you are.
Del knew I shot Gabriel, knew I stopped him from torturing Gregor. My mind couldn’t grasp the content of their discussion. It came too quickly at me. But I clearly felt the tone, the disapproval.
Del suddenly glanced down at me. This is why the ky’saran link is so dangerous, yet so damnably addictive. Beautiful but deadly. And that describes you as well, doesn’t it, angel?
With that he turned abruptly and stalked off, the layers of darkness wrapping around him.
Sully stared in the direction Del had gone. He’s been alone with his power for too long. But then, so have I. That’s why, in many ways, we’re good for each other. He understands what it feels like.
I tugged at his sleeve. “Sully, it’s late. Let’s—”
I have some things to do here yet. Go back to the ship, Chasidah.
Back to the ship? I did not want to analyze that statement any further. I fought the urge to stamp my foot to prove that, yes, there was solid ship’s decking under my boots. And I fought the urge to demand he return with me, proving Del was right. I understood the Kyi was something Sully used. I didn’t want it to be where he lived. “I’m not sure I know how,” I admitted. “Why don’t you come back with me, show me?”
He stopped staring at the star-filled distance and glanced down at me. A deep chuckle rumbled between the silent flashes of lightning in his chest. He grasped my shoulders, pulling me to him. Nice ploy. He kissed my forehead. I’ll be there when you wake.
I rolled over in bed, the sheets cool against my bare back. Sully’s arm was warm and heavy where it draped over my waist. I peered through my lashes. His eyes slitted open, his mouth curving into a smile. Then he kissed me, tongue probing, tasting. Liquid fire surging…
No interruptions this time, he promised.
When the fireworks stopped dancing riotously through my body, and Sully was sated and lazily trailing two fingers up and down between my breasts, I decided that checking the time might be advisable.
Seven and a half hours had passed since I’d walked through the shuttle bay’s doors and into the Kyi. Since I’d somehow gotten back to the cabin.
I was due on the bridge in thirty-five minutes.
I sat up abruptly.
“Relax,” he said. “Del’s in the pilot’s chair.”
I slanted him a glance. “Why does that not make my heart overflow with joy?”
He slanted me a glance back then sighed, stretching as I watched. He was just Sully again. But that didn’t mean he was any less magnificent to look at.
He caught the direction of my thoughts and grinned rakishly.
I blushed. “Can you get me a cup of tea, coffee, something? I need a quick shower.”
“A cold one?”
I hit him with my pillow and pushed myself out of bed.
I was standing under the steamy streams of the ship’s recycled water when the lavatory door nudged open. Sully, dressed in his usual black, leaned against the edge of the sink, sipped from the cup in his right hand, and held another for me in his left.
“I told Dorsie they were both for you so she wouldn’t try to poison me.”
“Find Burke’s lab ship, unmask Tage, and she’ll love you again,” I said, tapping off the water and turning on the dryer cycle. I circled slowly, ignoring Sully because nothing could be heard over the noise anyway.
Except this way, he reminded me. Then: Chaz, Del is not the problem you perceive him to be.
Let’s see. He ambushes me on Narfial, blocks you, wanted to neutralize Marsh, and then locks you away from me in some mystical woo-woo place that used to be a shuttle bay. In between all that, he has an annoying habit of calling me “angel” and “lover,” walks a very thin line between harmless flirtation and practiced seduction, and then has the balls to say I’m touchy. I have no idea why I think he’s a problem.
I shut off the dryer and opened the shower door. Sully handed me the tea.
Do you know how few Ragkirils there are in the Empire? he asked as I took a sip. Even fewer Kyi. He can’t go back to Stol. He’s honestly more grateful to have found us than you realize.
I handed the tea back, then pulled out the clip that had kept my hair in a bun—and dry—and shook my hair loose. “He has a funny way of showing his gratitude.” The dryer was off. No need to talk in mind-speak.
He’s helping us. Helping me.
I took the robe he held out to me and pulled it on. It was his ratty green one. “You said there were two Stolorth trading offices on Narfial. I’m sure he made friends there.” Especially with his charming personality.
Sully followed me into the bedroom. He’s a Serian, Chaz. And not all Stolorths are Ragkirils or Kyis.
I turned, reaching up, and drummed my fingers over his mouth. “This is our cabin. Can’t you talk to me like a normal person?”
I waited for a laugh, a smart Sully-like rejoinder. None came. His eyes darkened.
I’m not a normal person.
I huffed out a short sigh. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
He handed me my tea, took a sip of his, and turned away.
“Sully…”
He stopped at the small dining table. “I’m finally accepting what I am,” he said over his shoulder. “Integrating myself. I thought you’d want that.”
“I want you to realize that your genetics don’t matter.”
He turned back. “Then stop rejecting what’s Ragkiril about me.”
“Rejecting?” I pinned him with a hard stare. “The only thing I’ve been rejecting is your clothes. I distinctly remember pulling them off you every chance I get, regardless of which stage you’re in.”
“Being a Kyi is not a stage, Chasidah. It’s not something you grow out of, like an ill-mannered child’s temper tantrums.”
“Sully, please. I have to be on the bridge.” I grabbed my shirt, stuck my arms in the sleeves. “We arguing about trivial semantics here.” I pulled the shirt over my head.
“Trivial.” He leaned against the table, arms crossed over his chest.
“Yes, damn it, trivial.” I yanked the drawer open and grabbed the first pair of pants I saw. I hopped on one foot then the other as I shoved my legs through. “You’re picking a fight with me over meaningless minutiae, just like Philip used to when—”
The temperature in our cabin plummeted. I realized what I said. I’d never compared Sully to Philip before. There was no comparison. But that didn’t matter. I couldn’t call back the words.
“Sully.” I padded barefoot toward him, hand out. “Sully, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
But he wa
s shaking his head, his eyes snapping to full blackness. If he glowed silver and disappeared in a poof from our cabin I was going to hunt him down and shoot him again.
He must have heard me because his lips tightened.
“Fine, go be a Ragkiril. But for God’s sake, try reading my heart and not just my mind! I love you, damn you. But living with you lately is like slippery space. I cannot grasp what you want, but when I see where you’re going, some of it frightens me.”
I tugged at his arms and tried to uncross them from over his chest, make him release his defensiveness.
He wouldn’t budge. And our mental link was shut tight. I felt nothing from him.
“A week ago you wanted nothing to do with being Ragkiril,” I persisted. “Now, it’s all you want. Can you at least acknowledge that might make me a little confused?”
A trickle of frustration slipped through. I understand what I am now. I didn’t then.
“Mind cluing me in?”
I have been. With everything. But you don’t trust me. And I don’t think you really want to hear what I have to say.
“Try me.”
He hesitated. More frustration, a twinge of anger. Everything Del is, I am. And you hate him.
“I don’t hate Del. He’s a damned good pilot. He knows ships. Those gates he showed us are a boon. I truly believe with his help we’ll stop Tage and Burke. Beyond that, I know how important it is for you to be with someone who’s like you, even more than Ren is. But—”
But when Marsh was angry and Del wanted to step in, you assumed he would harm him. You assumed he wanted to kill him. You assumed the worst because to you, that’s what we are.
“That’s not what I think you are.”
Marsh has a violent temper. You’ve never seen it. I have. Did it ever occur to you that Del and I only wanted to protect you?
“Sullivan. I’m perfectly capable of protecting myself.”
He grabbed my wrist so quickly I had no time to react. His hand covered the Grizni. People die in knife fights, even if that’s not the intention. But Del or I could have put Marsh in a partial stasis, let him calm down. No bloodshed. No permanent damage.
He released my wrist.
Shades of Dark Page 21