by Lisa Wells
Alice’s eyes flew open, and she jumped up.
“It’s just me,” Adeline said. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
Alice gave Adeline a hurried look then she went to Dottie, grabbed her wrist, and checked for a pulse. Alice’s shoulders slumped. “I was dreaming… Dottie told me to wake up and go get a cup of coffee so the two of you could talk.” She glanced at Adeline. “I could swear it wasn’t a dream.”
Adeline left her luggage by the door and walked into the room. Alice looked exhausted. She glanced at Dottie. “Anything new?”
“She has pneumonia. Her lungs are filling up with fluids, and for reasons I don’t understand, they can’t stop it. Her body’s too weak.”
Adeline walked to the bed and picked up Dottie’s hand and held it tightly. “Hi,” she whispered. “It’s me, Adie.” How long had it been since she’d had physical contact with Dottie? Too long. Dottie gave great hugs when she loved you.
One of the machines started making a beeping noise, and Dottie squeezed Adeline’s hand. “She squeezed my hand,” Adeline said in wonder, a tear dropping down her cheek. She glanced over her shoulder at Alice.
Alice smiled. A trembling, contented smile. “That’s all the sign I need. She wants to talk to you, and I need to make myself scarce.” She dropped a kiss on Dottie’s forehead and gave Adeline a hug, before picking up her purse. “You’ve got my number; I’ll be in the cafeteria.”
Adeline watched Alice leave and then perched on the side of Dottie’s bed. “Are you going to wake up and talk to me?” she whispered. Thick emotions in her throat made it hard to speak.
There was another squeezing of her hand.
Adeline’s mouth went dry. “So you can hear me, you just don’t want to open your eyes.”
Another hand squeeze.
“That’s okay. I have lots of things to tell you.” A trembling smile made its way to her lips. She resisted an urge to lay down beside Dottie. She didn’t want to miss it if she opened her eyes. “Is it okay if I tell you what’s going on in my life?”
This time the hand squeeze was stronger, and it lasted longer.
Adeline didn’t think she had enough energy left to have a racing heartbeat, but that’s what her heart was doing. Racing with joy. “Okay, then. First, I’m really sorry about ruining your wedding day. I don’t think I did it to hurt you, but maybe you were right. Maybe a part of me, a part I wasn’t even aware of, did it to get your attention. Did it so that you would know I wasn’t ready to be cut loose. That I still needed you. That I still needed a mom.”
Dottie’s lips barely opened.
Adeline waited to see if she’d speak. Braced herself for words of anger.
Dottie’s lips closed without words coming out. Instead, she squeezed Adeline’s hand tighter.
Adeline took a deep breath and continued. “I hate that cancer and Alzheimer’s has you stuck in that memory loop. It’s not the memory of us I want you to hold onto.”
Dottie squeezed her hand again.
A nurse came in. “Sorry to bother you, I just need to check a reading.”
Adeline waited impatiently for the nurse to leave.
“Sorry to have interfered,” the nurse said as she left.
Adeline ignored the nurse, her full attention on Dottie. “What memory do I want you to cherish? Is that what you’re asking?” Adeline thought about the question. “I want you to take to heaven the memory of the day I told you I wanted to be a chef, just like you. I can remember how your face lit up, and you grabbed my hands, and we twirled around in the kitchen together. When we stopped twirling, you said that was the best gift I could ever give you.” Adeline grabbed a tissue, wiped her eyes, and blew her nose. God, she hated crying. “I asked you why that was the best gift, and you said it’s because it meant you were doing a good job at being a mom. That imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.”
That’s the day Dottie sat Adeline down and shared her dreams of attending Le Cordon Bleu and opening a bakery. Adeline declared she would make that dream come true. She would go, and she would come back and teach Dottie everything she learned, and they’d open a bakery together. “I still plan on going to Le Cordon Bleu. In fact, I won a recipe contest. When I’m done, I’m going to come back and open a bakery. I’m going to call it Dottie’s Delights. I’m going to sell those teeny tiny double-layer cakes you made for me to serve at my tea party for my teddy bear. They were hardly bigger than a cupcake, and you called them Dottie cakes because you said a baker would have to be dottie to make a cake so small on purpose. Remember how you made brightly colored mirror glaze to ice them? They were so shiny and pretty.” Adeline smiled as she remembered that tea party. It had been a rainy summer afternoon. She’d informed Dottie with all of the attitude a thirteen-year-old can muster that she was much too old for such nonsense, but Dottie insisted they have a proper tea party and invite her old stuffed animal. The one she’d dragged from foster family to foster family.
Another nurse came in. “Sorry, you’ll need to step out while I change her linens.”
“I’ll be right outside your door,” Adeline said to Dottie. She stepped into the hallway and let the tears fall that she’d been holding in.
Adeline’s phone rang. “Hello,” she said through a sob. Memory lane was no place to travel when your heart wasn’t guarded by its normal growth of thorn bushes. The sharp memories slamming into the soft parts of her heart felt like hot needles in an eye.
“Adeline?” It was Kinley. “Honey, are you crying? Are you okay?”
“Uh-huh.” Adeline hated that she was crying when she should be in there with Dottie. She wanted to stop, but didn’t know how.
“What can I do?” Kinley asked.
“Dottie’s in the hospital.” Adeline sobbed. “She’s dying. And I left Jack at the retreat. I messed things up for him.”
“I know.”
Adeline grabbed a tissue and blew her nose. “Did he call you?”
“He did, and he asked me to call and make sure you made it home okay.”
Adeline blew her nose again. “Why didn’t he call himself? Is it because he hates me?”
There was a pause. “Do you want to talk about what happened?”
Adeline hiccupped and took several stuttering breaths before exhaling at length. “There’s not much to say.”
“If I knew what happened, I might be able to help.”
Adeline shook her head roughly. “Didn’t he tell you? I screwed everything up for him. I’m nothing but a screw-up. Everyone he works with saw my tits.”
Kinley laughed. “You have great tits. And maybe he wants a screw-up. Did you even give him a chance?”
“Did he tell you he wants a screw-up?”
“He said he was worried about you.”
Adeline suddenly felt very tired. Her adrenaline was vanquished the moment Dottie squeezed her hand. Emptiness filled her. “That’s what I thought. Don’t worry.”
“The one thing I learned about men during mine and Ian’s courtship is that men don’t know what they want until they don’t have it. Give him a chance. He might chase you.”
Adeline shook her head and then realized Kinley couldn’t see her response. “He’s not the problem. I am. I don’t want to be chased. He wants a stay-at-home wife. His boss wants him to have a stay-at-home wife. I don’t want that. I’m not ever going to be what he needs or wants.”
“I’m not sure I agree with—”
“God, I just realized, I don’t have a place to stay until I leave to go to Paris,” Adeline said, interrupting her friend. “I can’t go back to living with Jack. I—”
“Calm down. Ian and I have a condo we keep in the city for our visits home. You’re welcome to go and stay there, while you make a plan.”
Adeline’s shoulder’s slumped. “Thanks. I won’t need it for long.”
“Stay as long as you need. I’ll text you the address and information.”
“Do me a favor,” Adeline said. She walked bac
k into the room with Dottie and glanced out the window. The view was ugly. A brick wall with a water stain down the side. An image of her future. “Don’t tell Jack where I’m at.”
“How is he going to find you if I don’t tell him?”
Adeline heard a noise and turned back to Dottie. Her eyes were still closed. “I don’t want him to find me. Just, please, don’t tell him.” She hung up and walked over to the bed. She picked up Dottie’s hand and squeezed. “You’d be proud of me. I’m not going to be like my mom. I’m not choosing a guy over my dreams. Over my promises.”
She waited for Dottie to squeeze in approval. She didn’t.
“Has she opened her eyes? Said anything to you?” asked Alice.
Adeline jumped in surprise. She hadn’t heard Alice come in the room. “She squeezed my hand several times. Like she could hear me. But now, she’s stopped.”
“She’s been doing that to me as well. I think part of her is already in heaven, and Angel Dottie is whispering in our ears before she is completely gone from this earth.”
“If that’s the case, I wish she’d tell me a whole lot more.”
“Honey, you look like hell. Why don’t you go home, take a nap, and then come back later?”
“But what if…”
“Honey, Dottie’s in control of when she’s going to die. I have faith that isn’t going to happen until she has all of her business finished here.”
“I’m okay. I don’t want to leave.”
“Honey, she’s been whispering in my ear ever since I got back to the room. She wants you to go home and rest. Now go.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Adeline unlocked the door leading into Kinley’s condo and noticed a light under the door. Did Kinley and Ian purposely leave a light on? To make it look like someone was home? Well if they did, it worked.
Twisting the knob, she heard a soft noise. She paused. Did Kinley forget and leave her cat behind? Was the cat going to jump on her the moment she opened the door?
Or…fuck.
Were Kinley and Ian being robbed? Did Dottie want Adeline to come to Kinley’s so she could stop the robbery? So she’d finally have a chance to use Betsy, her Taser gun?
Adeline let go of the handle and pulled out Betsy. Then with more determination than she felt, she twisted the knob. Before she could push, someone pulled the door inward from the other side, taking her with it. She gasped, and her heart tried to escape through her toes. She hadn’t thought there was going to be anything on the other side. She thought it was her over active, very tired imagination.
During all of the commotion, she dropped Betsy. Blood rushed in Adeline’s ears, making it hard to hear. Oh God, she was going to die.
Dottie didn’t send her here to save Kinley from being robbed. She’d sent Adeline here to wreak revenge for ruining her wedding.
The hand squeezing had been a scam.
Adeline went down to her knees and blindly felt around for Betsy while glancing through fallen strands of hair to get a look at the intruder. If she could shoot him in the balls, he’d be incapacitated long enough for her to escape.
An arm reached for her. She jerked away. Where in the hell was Betsy? Fuck. Finally a chance to use Betsy, and she’d dropped the damn thing in a struggle. What a rookie mistake. She jumped up. Not knowing any other way to defend herself, she whacked the intruder in the stomach with the edge of her hand. As if she really knew karate. She didn’t. The whack hurt like a son-of-a-bitch.
A low laugh came out of the man. “Adie?”
Adeline stilled, then got herself to a nearby chair where she collapsed in exhaustion. She lowered her head between her legs and gulped for air. When she caught her breath, she popped up and frantically pushed her hair out of her eyes. “Jack?” her voice came out a horrified whisper.
He gave her an amused look.
She placed her fisted hand against her mouth. Trying to comprehend. “Oh God. Oh God. Oh God,” she whispered against her hand. “It’s just you.” Her limbs began shaking so bad she had to sit back down. “How did you find me? Why are you here? Why didn’t you warn me you were here? I thought you were going to kill me.”
Jack shut the door and then sat down on the couch. “I flew home on the company jet.”
Adeline checked her hand for broken bones. “Did I break your rib? Are you okay? Do I need to call an ambulance?”
He rubbed his ribs. “I’ll be fine.”
Adeline nodded. “Of course. Right. I’m—” She heard a scratching noise. Noticed a box sitting next to the couch. “What’s in that?” The source of the noise from the other side of the door…
“It’s for you,” Jack said, standing up and walking to the box. He smiled. A warm smile that made it to his eyes. “Open it.”
She ventured to the box and lifted the lid. Her mouth fell open. “A puppy,” her voice was as wobbly as her legs. Her heart exploded into a pile of bright confetti. She exhaled raggedly and took a step back to regain her balance.
Woof.
The scrappy-looking puppy barked and scampered to get out of the box. Adeline chuckled and pulled the skinny black puppy out, trying to hold the wiggling thing in her hands. “Look at you. Aren’t you cute.” The puppy licked her chin and her cheek and squirmed out of her clutch. The moment its paws hit the floor, the pee-gates opened. Jack was going to have to clean that mess up off his sister’s floor.
Jack laughed. “Adie, I’d like for you to meet Rembrandt. She’s part lab and part cocker spaniel.”
Adeline squeezed her eyes shut. “Rembrandt?” Oh God. Did he have any idea how romantic that was? She opened her eyes. It was a romantic gesture, wasn’t it? She grabbed tissues and blotted her eyes.
The corners of Jack’s eyes crinkled. “I picked her up at the dog shelter for you on my way here.”
She scrutinized Jack’s face. Searching for a clue to what was going on, tossing the dirty tissues in the box. “She’s mine? Not yours?” Her insides were prickly and energized.
He drew his lower lip between his teeth. Nodded. “She’s all yours. You said, and I quote, ‘my ideal man would be one who had a record from rescuing a damsel in distress.’ There’s now a record of me rescuing Rembrandt from death row.”
“Awww, you poor thing.” Adeline scratched the dog’s head. She glanced at Jack. Tried not to acknowledge the amount of love her heart was exuding.
Jack’s gaze bore into hers. “I love you.”
Don’t tell me that! “I’m going to Paris.” She wrapped both arms around her waist and rocked back and forth.
He pulled her out of the chair and into his arms, enveloping her in a tight hug. “Adeline Rigby?” he murmured against her hair.
“What?” she asked defensively.
He released her and went down on one knee. “Will you marry me?” He pulled the ring out of his shirt pocket and held it out on his open palm. Only it wasn’t the blue diamond this time. It was a pink one. A beautiful pink diamond. Bigger than the blue diamond.
Everything inside of her screamed to say yes. “I can’t,” she said instead. She closed his fingers around the ring. “I’m going to Paris. I promised Dottie. And I can’t take the dog. You shouldn’t have gotten me one without asking first,” she said in a hollow voice.
He opened his palm. “Of course you’re going to Paris. That’s your dream. I would never take your dream from you. I’ll keep Rembrandt for you while you’re gone.”
Her thoughts pummeled out of control with buts and what-ifs. Torpedoing them with excuses and outs. He was willing to wait on her. Of course, that wasn’t their big problem. She couldn’t afford to focus on the marriage proposal. The temptation to say yes too great. “Why? Why would you get me a dog?”
“Mrs. C posted about her on Facebook. Rembrandt, that’s not her real name, I gave her a new one and she seems to be okay with it, was on death row. I couldn’t let that happen.” He stared at Adeline like he was cataloguing her every freckle and out of place hair.
S
he glanced away. Her brain couldn’t process when she looked into his eyes. “How did you know where to find me?”
“Kinley.”
“I told her not to tell you.”
“Honey, she can’t keep her own secrets, let alone someone else’s.” He took Adeline’s palm, opened her fingers, and slid the ring on her left hand. She didn’t resist.
“Did you tell Mr. Carpenter you were coming after me? Did he fire you?”
Jack linked fingers with her. “He wasn’t happy. But then I explained to him that I’m really in love with you. And that if you wanted to go to Paris and study at your culinary school, I would wait for you.”
Adeline slapped a hand over her mouth. Stared at him. He didn’t blink. He was serious. Goose bumps ran up and down her arms. “You can wait all you want, but it doesn’t change the fact that when I come home, I’m going to open a bakery. I’m not going to be a stay-at-home wife. Which means I can’t be your wife. You deserve your dream, and she’s out there somewhere.”
“Do you love me?”
“That doesn’t matter.”
Jack sat down. “Adeline, if you love me, we can figure this all out. We can make compromises. I give a little, you give a little.”
Adeline went into the kitchen. Opened the cabinet, found a bowl, and filled it with water for the dog. “I don’t love you,” she lied. She couldn’t allow herself to be talked into compromising her dreams. Compromising her dreams would be compromising Dottie’s dreams.
Jack ran his hand through his hair. He looked exhausted. “Okay. I get it. I’m not sorry I love you, and I’m not mad that you don’t love me back. You did warn me from the beginning you weren’t the type to fall in love.”
Adeline ignored the emotions crushing her heart into her chest. “You can keep Rembrandt. I don’t deserve her.”
“I’ll keep her until you come back from Paris. Then you can call me, and I’ll bring her to you. No strings attached.”