Anyone with a brain was hunkered down at home rather than tackling the icy roads.
He’d have loved to be one of the saner people perched in front of his TV with a whiskey-spiked eggnog and the Seahawks game. But Sean had been his best friend for too long for Zach to miss his wedding. To miss one last chance to talk some sense into his buddy.
What was Sean thinking, giving up the single life for monogamy, a mortgage and holidays at the in-laws? How could commitment to one woman possibly compare to the freedom of bachelorhood? Did Sean really think marriage led to happiness? Had his friend bought into the fairy-tale hype of happily ever after? Zach suppressed a groan. He’d seen too many marriages fail, too many unfaithful spouses, too much deception, corruption and cynicism to foster such an idealistic view.
“Okay, we’re in the car. Care to explain what you meant about stopping my sister’s wedding?” Ellen asked before they’d even reached Interstate 90 toward town. “What did Trixie ever do to you that you’d want to ruin her wedding? Which—” she aimed a finger at him “—I won’t let you do, by the way.”
Zach approached an intersection where the traffic lights were out. Other cars approached then haphazardly darted through the crossroad. After waiting his turn, Zach started across, only to jam on the brakes when another car zipped out in front of him. The lightweight sedan he’d rented fishtailed.
Ellen gasped and clutched her seat belt.
The other car honked, swerved around them and zoomed away.
Sighing, he squeezed the wheel in frustration. “When the light is out, you treat an intersection like an all-way stop, dude. Get with the program.”
Ellen chuckled and sent him an amused grin. “I talk to other cars as I drive, too.”
He shrugged. “Stupid habit, really. They can’t hear you. Don’t know why I bother.”
“Because it makes you feel better? I bet you talk to the TV, too. Am I right?”
Zach checked his blind spot over his left shoulder as he merged onto the interstate, then cut a side glance to Ellen. “Only when I watch sports. And only when the refs get the call wrong. Or the players make a boneheaded mistake.”
Amusement lit her face, and she settled back in her seat. “Yeah, right.”
He flashed a quick grin, but when her unanswered question filtered through his mind, he sobered. “I have nothing against your sister. I’m sure she’s very nice. But I know Sean, and I know he’d be happier if he stayed single.”
Ellen scowled. “Apparently not. He’s the one who proposed.”
“Trixie was probably pressuring him, dropping hints, making ultimatums….”
“Wrong.” She shifted on the seat to face him. “He’s happy. I’ve seen them together, and this is what they both want. Don’t interfere!”
“He may think it’s what he wants, but in a few years, he’ll get restless. He’ll feel trapped. Or she will.”
She scoffed her disagreement and shook her head.
“One of them will cheat,” he continued, “and the other will find out. Or not…and then the cheater will be miserable, because they’re carrying around a load of guilt. They’ll drift apart, be unhappy, get divorced…or not. Maybe they’ll continue a charade of a marriage for the sake of the kids or for appearances in society or some other bull reason.” Zach clenched his teeth, shoving down the sour spike of resentment and disillusionment that churned in his gut. Heaving a weary sigh, he dug the antacids from his pocket and, with his thumb, he popped a couple from the top of the roll into his mouth.
Ellen said nothing for a moment, but the weight of her stare bore into him like icy stakes. Why had he vented like that? If anyone knew better than to rant in public, he did. His job was all about discretion, keeping a lid on all the ugliness that he encountered every day.
Finally, crossing her arms over her chest, Ellen tipped her head and furrowed her brow. “Jaded much?”
“I just call ’em as I see ’em.”
She nodded sagely. “Ah, so this is the voice of experience speaking. You were married, and it went bad.”
“Nope. Never been in a long-term relationship.”
“Parents had a bitter divorce?”
He rolled his shoulders uneasily. She was getting too personal for comfort. But then, he’d brought the subject up. Big dummy. Should’ve kept your yap shut. Zach tightened his grip on the steering wheel—but not because of the road conditions. Considering the unexpected ferocity of the winter storm, the road crews had done an admirable job of clearing the lanes on the interstate in town. Snoqualmie Pass would be another matter.
“My folks divorced, but it wasn’t especially bitter. None of my mom’s four divorces were too acrimonious.”
“Your mom divorced four times?”
Zach winced internally. He hated the sympathy he heard in Ellen’s tone. He wasn’t looking for pity for himself or his mother’s misguided choices. Besides, his mom’s numerous trips down the aisle weren’t the root of his ill view of marriage. “Two of them from the same guy. You’d think she’d have learned the first time.”
The heartbroken expression Ellen wore when he glanced at her twisted inside him. “What’s that look for?”
“You must have had a tough time growing up, having your mom remarrying and divorcing so often.”
“My childhood was fine, thank you. Look, can we change the subject? You’re making a mountain out of a mole hill.”
“It’s not a mole hill if, because of your bleak opinion of matrimony, you intend to spoil my sister’s big day and shatter her dreams.”
“I’m not—”
The truck in front of them spun out on an icy patch, and Zach’s reply dashed from his brain. Adrenaline ripped through him, jacking up his pulse, as he took evasive action. He cut the wheel left, avoiding the truck, then hard right again to miss hitting the median wall and the van in front of him. The Malibu’s wheels slipped, and the rental car careened sideways toward the shoulder.
Chapter 3
T hey skidded several yards before Zach could regain control of the car.
Once they’d regained traction, Ellen exhaled the breath she’d held as they slid all over the highway. Thank God there wasn’t much traffic or…She shuddered. She didn’t think she would take another easy breath until they were safely at the church in Spokane. Or, considering Zach’s determination to change Sean’s mind, she wouldn’t rest easy until they were toasting the newlyweds at the reception.
Ellen glanced at Zach’s chiseled profile and the tick of the muscle in his jaw. “So…if not because of your parents, why do you have such a dim view of marriage?”
He cast her a withering glance. “Are we still on that? Can’t we talk about something else?”
“No. I need to know why you’re determined to come between two people who clearly love each other. All you have to do is see the way they look at each other, and it’s obvious what’s in their hearts.”
He grunted. “That’s a very…Hallmark-card sentiment. And for what it’s worth, I never said I wanted to break them up. I just think marriage adds something that burdens the dynamic of the relationship.”
Ellen gaped at Zach. “You mean something like commitment? Security? Faith and trust? Yeah, those are real burdens!”
His jaw tightened, and he flicked an irritated glance her way. “You can have all those things without complicating the relationship with legal contracts and a certificate from the state.”
Ellen leaned her head back against the seat, appraising him, studying his taut jaw, the frown lines that pulled at the corners of his mouth. Her pulse kicked up. That mouth had shock her, tantalized her. His kiss had tasted like cinnamon and hinted at buried passion. So how could a man whose kiss could warm her from the inside out have such a cold attitude toward love and marriage?
And then it hit her. “You’ve never been in love, have you? Not truly, deeply, change-your-life in love?”
He snapped a startled glance her way, but said nothing for a long time. “No.”<
br />
A prick of sadness pinched her heart, even as understanding released the knot of frustration inside her.
“That’s what I thought.” She turned her gaze out the side window, watching the darkened houses and sleet-crusted trees they passed. The stab of melancholy she felt for Zach dug deep, weighing down her heart. Sighing, she closed her eyes. “Until you’ve been there, until you’ve known what it is like to have another person be at the root of every breath, every thought, every fiber of who you are, there’s no point in arguing the merits of marriage with you.”
“Does that mean we can change the subject?”
She didn’t bother answering. Except for the swish of the windshield wipers and pinging of the snow and sleet on the windows, they rode in silence for several minutes. Finally, they reached Interstate 90 and merged with the other traffic headed east out of Bellevue.
Ellen spotted a few lights still on, but figured it was only a matter of time before the entire city was in darkness. Just in time for a long, cold night. She shivered involuntarily, wishing she hadn’t had to stay at work yesterday to finish laying out the special holiday edition of Portland Today, the regional magazine she’d written and edited for since college. She’d give anything to be in Spokane already with Trix and her parents, finishing the last-minute details of the wedding and enjoying a cup of her mother’s hot cider.
Ellen was fully immersed in a daydream about Christmases past with her family when Zach broke the silence. “It’s just that everywhere I look, I see married people who are unhappy for some reason.” He turned up one palm on the steering wheel as he drove. “I see men cheating on their wives, being eaten alive by the guilt, then ruining their lives and professional reputations tiptoeing through minefields of deception. I deal daily with women who can do nothing but complain about their husbands’ faults and their kids’ bad attitudes. Meanwhile, it’s my job to put a good face on all the yahoos, run interference and save careers that would be in the toilet if the public knew what really happened behind closed doors.” He huffed a sigh of disgust and cast Ellen a frustrated sideways glance. “So, yeah, I’m jaded. I see the worst of people more than anyone should, because it’s my job to fix my bosses’ messes.”
She tugged up a corner of her mouth. “I thought we were changing the subject.”
Color rose in his cheeks, making his already handsome face even more appealing. His tirade and his telltale flush echoed her suspicion that Zach suppressed a lot of passion beneath his cool facade.
“You asked where my opinion of marriage came from, so…now you know.”
“The people you work with.”
He squeezed the steering wheel again, his knuckles blanching. “Yeah.”
“And what is it you do? Where are you working with so many unhappy people?”
“Sacramento. I’m on the PR staff for a California state senator. Whoever said politics made strange bedfellows must have been on a senator’s staff and seen what I’ve seen. It’s enough to knock the idealistic grin from any political science major’s face.”
Ellen tipped her head, flabbergasted. Rather than bitterness, his tone rang with a hopeless, world-weary dejection. “Good grief, Zach. If you hate your job so much, why do you stay on?”
“Because.” He lowered his eyebrows and pressed his lips in a stubborn scowl. “Quitting means admitting defeat. I got into politics because I wanted to make a difference. I thought I could do something good, something worthwhile. I haven’t given up on the hope that maybe I can do something important for my state and make a change for the better.”
She grinned again and squeezed his shoulder. “So this particular political science major hasn’t completely lost his idealism?”
He blinked his surprise then held her gaze for a moment. “I…guess not. It’s just so damn frustrating to know perfectly good legislation gets ruined by backroom deals and partisan fighting and…personal agendas.”
“And those personal agendas would include the reasons you are so down on marriage?”
Zach dragged a hand through his hair, leaving it rumpled and sexy. Blowing a deep breath through pursed lips, he narrowed a troubled gaze on the icy road. “I shouldn’t have said anything. Please don’t repeat any of this. I had an especially bad day yesterday and—”
“Okay. This will all stay strictly off the record, if…”
He arched an eyebrow when she hesitated. “If what?”
“Promise me two things.”
He gave her a wary look. “What?”
“Promise me you’ll at least consider finding a new job. There are other ways to make a difference and change public policy without losing yourself and your ideals to the political machine.”
The muscle in his jaw jumped. “Okay, I’ll consider it. I already consider it almost every day. What else?”
“Promise me you won’t do anything, anything, to interfere with Trixie and Sean’s wedding.”
He sighed. “I can’t promise that.”
Ellen dug her fingers into her seat cushion. “Then I don’t promise not to write up what you’ve said! Maybe it’ll be our feature article next month.” She waved her hands as if displaying her next headline. “What really happens behind closed doors…”
Zach’s head whipped around, his face pale. “You’re a reporter?”
She lifted a shoulder. “Reporter, editor, layout, photographer. Sort of a Jill-of-all-trades for a small regional magazine in Portland. Portland Today.”
He dragged a hand down his face, muttering invectives. “I’ve heard of it.”
Ellen perked up. “Really? You’ve heard of our magazine?”
“That surprises you?”
“Well, yeah. Considering how small our circulation currently is.” She aimed a finger at him. “But we’re growing. Our subscriptions grew by 26 percent last year.” She gave a proud nod.
Zach’s only response was a grunt and a furrowed brow as he stared out at the blowing snow and slick road.
She nudged his shoulder. “Lighten up, Zach. Your confession is safe with me. Our magazine’s focus is tourism and economic growth in the Portland area, not exposing California state senators’ dirty laundry.”
“It was still careless of me to shoot off at the mouth like that. You never know who you could be talking to. I could have ruined…” He rubbed a spot near his heart, wincing, and exhaled deeply.
Ellen tipped her head. “You okay?”
“Ulcer. I’ll be fine.”
She shook her head. “Let me guess. The ulcer is stress-related?”
He sent her a silent, dark look.
“Zach, how can you stay in a job that is making you physically ill?”
“Plenty of people get stress-related ulcers.”
“Plenty of unhappy, overworked people!”
He frowned and cast a glare at her. “What, your job doesn’t stress you sometimes?”
“Not to the point of an ulcer. I love what I do. I look forward to going to the office each day. My job is fulfilling and exciting and new every day. I’m happy. Can you say the same?”
Zach popped a couple more antacids and crunched them without answering her. After a moment of tense quiet, she sighed. “Don’t let the backstabbers and dirty dealers destroy your dreams for changing the world, Zach. Don’t let your job suck all the joy from your life, and don’t let misplaced loyalty keep you from pursuing a job that will make you happy.” She wrapped her fingers around his wrist and squeezed. “You deserve to be happy.”
When he glanced at her this time, his eyes held such sadness and longing that her heart contracted. She absorbed the wistfulness in his expression like a physical blow. Before she could say any more to encourage Zach, her cell phone trilled, jerking her out of the poignant moment. Reluctantly, she released his wrist and dug in her purse.
“Hello?” Ellen watched Zach’s pensive expression as she poked a finger in one ear so she could hear over the static on the line.
“Where…you?…worried…this storm…�
� Trixie’s broken words filtered through the bad connection, courtesy of the mountains.
“Trix, they closed the airport in Seattle. Zach Kallen and I are driving over together in a rental car.” Ellen strained to hear her sister’s response. Despite the garbled connection, she managed to relay the basics of the situation to her sister. “We could be late for the rehearsal. Don’t wait for us. Stay on schedule, and we’ll jump in when we get there. I’ll call again with an update when I can, but cell towers will be few and far between until we get closer to Spokane.”
“—kay.” She heard the disappointment in her sister’s voice, a reflection of her own frustration. “…careful…—ve you!”
“Love you, too.” She keyed off the call and jammed the phone back in her handbag.
Turning on her seat to face Zach, Ellen chewed her bottom lip a moment, deciding what she should say regarding the emotional topic they’d broached before Trixie’s call. “Zach, if you—”
“Why don’t you try the radio?” he interrupted, his hard gaze telling her the previous subject was closed to debate. “See if you can get an update on the storm or road conditions east of here.”
Fine. If he didn’t want her support or encouragement, she’d keep it to herself. Even if his disillusionment and unhappiness did break her heart.
She mashed buttons on the radio until she found an all-talk, news station briefing listeners on the freak snowstorm mucking up Christmas travel for thousands of people in the Pacific Northwest.
“Sea-Tac Airport canceled all flights earlier this afternoon,” the announcer droned. “And the area near the airport was one of the first to lose power. Reports of spotty outages continue to come into our station. But as this next wave of sleet and snow hits Seattle and temperatures drop after dark, a city-wide blackout is expected.”
Ellen groaned and sent Zach a dismayed looked. “Next wave? There’s more coming?”
He pulled a face and nodded. “Apparently. Just makes it all the more important we make tracks and get over the Cascades ahead of the front.”
Ellen turned up the volume as the announcer said, “When sleet collects on trees and power lines, the weight of the ice brings down limbs and takes out power lines. Power company officials say it could take days to get the lights back on for everyone, and they warn people to stay away from downed power lines.”
Stranded with the Bridesmaid Page 2