by L. A. Tafe
I drive down the road, panting heavily, my heart pounding as hard as my headache. Trying hard to catch my to catch my breath as I see red and blue lights flashing in the distance, coming right towards me. Oh Shit! Oh fuck! What do I do?!
Closer and closer they come, speeding down the road about to catch me. I look in every direction for something, anything, to get me out of this mess. I find nothing.
My breathing stops as the cop cars come clear into sight, passing just ten feet from my car as they race right past me heading towards the diner.
I take a gasp, breathing in deep, my heart rate slowly calming down. I dry heave as the lights of the cop cars leave my rear view mirrors, choking on stomach acid that burns the back of my throat. As I slowly catch my breath, I realize I’ve been mumbling “Oh shit” over and over again since I first saw the cop’s flashing lights, probably even before that. I pull off onto a side road, parking on the side of the road next to a meter, sitting there trying to take everything in. the same words playing over and over in my head. He’s dead. My dad is dead. I killed him. I really killed him.
This time I do puke, opening the door just inside for the coffee I just drank to splatter on the pavement. I killed my father. The words drive me into a frenzy. Hating myself. Hating Oliver and Lancifer. Hating the world for cursing me with nightmares. Or whatever the fuck they are anymore. In my seat I thrash at everything around me, slamming my hands against the steering wheel, pounding the back of my head against my head rest, crumbling into uncontrollable sobs. I weep for my father. Weep for our last words to each other. Weep for taking his life.
The sobs grow to crying, then to whimpering, finally passing, turning to emotional numbness and a dull ache in my chest. He’s dead. Who will be next? I know the answer and with it I know what I must do next. As badly as my instinct to hide screams at me, I know I need to see Amy. I need to tell her how sorry I am, how horrible I feel, and tell her she needs to stay the fuck away from me. A shudder goes through my body, who knows what will happen if I lose to Oliver. The more I think about him the less scared I am. He hurt my girl, killed my father, and fucked my entire life up. Oliver did this. And I’m going to rip his heart out. He’s going to pay. I start the car and head towards Amy’s taking side streets the whole way.
Outside Amy’s house, parked a few houses down, I wait, watching everything closely for anything suspicious. I watch for people coming and going, the cops are bound to be watching the house knowing what I did to her yesterday. What Oliver did to her.
I wait till six o’clock, when the sun is just low enough to not be seen anymore, just giving off enough light to move quickly. I step out of the car and move quickly through the neighbor’s front yard, ducking behind bushes against their side fence. This is so fucking stupid.
I move quickly through the neighbor’s front yards, moving from bush to bush until I get to Amy’s backyard fence. I look around and reach for the top, pulling myself over it as fast as I can. Getting just over the top, losing my hold and falling to the ground on the other side.
The bushes I fall into cushion my fall but make way to much noise, making even more noise as I claw myself out of them. Somebody had to have heard that. I tell myself. I need to get out of here. The thought of getting caught is terrorizing, always in the back of my mind, nagging at me. I know I shouldn’t have come here, I know I'm going to get caught. I just know it.
Silently I wait and listen, hiding behind some small bushes that barely give any cover at all. After a few moments I stand and look around. All clear, no one in sight.
I take a step out of the bushes and hear someone laughing manically. I desperately scan my surroundings for the source of the laugh. I know that laugh.
“Lance?” someone whispers, startling me, causing me to almost trip over myself as I run back to the bushes. “Lance, stop! Someone will hear you.” I look around for the voice, finding Amy peeking her head out of her bedroom window on the second floor.
The emotions that flood through me are nearly indescribable. The sheer relief overtakes me and I just stare at her, so happy to see her. Amy, my dear Amy.
Amy points to the patio then holds her index finger of her lips. The universal sign for, “be quite”. She disappears from the window and I know her plan. Quietly but swiftly I move to the patio, looking at the back door that’s only a few yards away. If her dad comes outside right now I'm dead.
I climb one of the posts holding up the wooden patio cover, remembering the first time I did this just a few months ago. What a night. How long ago that seems now.
I move slowly across the patio cover’s beams and see Amy opening her bathroom window. I walk across a few more beams and climb in the open window with Amy’s help. Nice one. The thought runs through my head but it isn’t mine, it’s like someone whispering inside my head.
Amy throws her arms around me as I get to my feet, holding me like she wont ever let go. Her hair against my face never feeling so good. After what is not long enough, She loosens her grip and I pull back to look at her. Her neck is still black and blue and her face is covered in a mixture of bruises and small cuts.
“Oh god. Amy I'm so sorry” I say, Amy just kisses me in response, sweet and tender, making me lose myself in the moment. Forgetting everything but her lips.
I bet her ass is just as sweet. Before I can take a second thought my hand slides down her back and grabs her ass good and hard. She pushes me back hard and looks at me kind of taken back. “I—“ I stutter. “I didn’t mean too.” What the fuck is wrong with me?
“It’s okay.” She says unsure. “Just not the time.” “Yeah . . . I know.” Somewhere I hear the same laugh I heard outside. I know that laugh.
Amy takes my hand and leads me out of the bathroom, past the top of the stairwell, giving me a view down the stairs to the front door, and into her room, closing the door quietly behind her. We sit on her bed, and she leans her head on my shoulder, “I know it wasn’t you.” She says, her voice calm with some sadness.
I stay quite not knowing what to say to her and she continues, “it was the look in your eyes . . . it wasn’t you.” I put my arm around her and hold her tight. Just having someone to talk to makes everything seem better. She’s to good for you. Another thought that’s in my head but not my own.
I gently caress her face, sliding my hand down her cheek to her chin, picking her head up so I can see her beautiful eyes, slightly puffy with tears forming within them. “Listen, Amy.” I say, sighing before continuing, “What happened at the library. I can’t control it. I can’t.” I pause, hating what I have to say, she must know it is coming because her hot tears are already falling down her cheeks. “My nightmares want to hurt you and I don’t know if I can stop them. I can’t see you anymore. You have to stay away from me. Because if you come around again . . . I will probably kill you.” Amy tries to stay composed, but my last words scare her, I can see it in her face. She grabs onto me and puts her head against my chest, crying hard.
Look how much you hurt her. How much damage you did with just your words, imagine what you could do with your hands. My hands grab her by the arms, gripping her slender arms, clamping down harder and harder. “Lance? Lance, what are you doing?!” Amy’s voice is frantic as I begin digging into her arms with my fingers. What am I doing!? I try letting go of her, desperately wrestling with my arms to release her. Stop! What the fuck are you doing!? I hear that laugh again and it clicks. Lancifer!
Yes my friend, I'm back! His voice rings inside my head, no longer my own thoughts but his whispers. I try letting go of Amy, fighting for control. In my struggle I throw Amy to the ground. That’s it! That’s using your hands! Lancifer mocks me.
Amy rears up and looks at me, her eyes filled with horror. “Oh my god.” She says, her eyes locked onto my own. “Your eye!” she shrieks. “Come, my dear. Let me show you how much I love you.” I say, but the words aren’t mine. Lancifer is now in full control.
Amy scrapes at the ground to get to her feet, running for the do
or as fast as she can. Pulling it open, screaming for help at the top of her lungs. Lancifer grabs her before she makes it out of the room, pulling her back through the doorway. Amy grabs for anything she can, slamming the door hard and knocking things off her dresser.
Lancifer pushes her to the ground and gets on top of her, pining her down. “Why do you run from me? Do I really look that bad? Lancifer yells at her, laughing as he does. “You should see yourself!” Lancifer adds, a chuckle breaching his lips as he puts his hands around her neck and begins to squeeze. “This must be familiar to you now, darling.”
Amy chokes, gasping for air, trying but failing to scream for help. I watch through Lancifer’s eyes, trying to fight him for control. Amy wriggles one of her arms free and lashes out at Lancifer’s face, catching him just below his right eye with a hard blow. “You little bitch!” Lancifer yells, bringing down a fist, cracking Amy in the mouth.
Amy cries out, spitting out blood and crying wildly.
“Love a girl with a little fight.” Lancifer says, pulling back a fist for another punch. NO! I yell in Lancifer’s head, his arm hangs in the air, unmoving.
This is mine! I grab Lancifer’s arm and pry it from Amy’s neck. I feel for my legs with my thoughts, fighting to move them until finally they budge. I kick off the ground, rolling off of Amy freeing her. “RUN!” yell to Amy and she doesn’t hesitate. Rolling onto her stomach, pushing herself up and sprinting for the door. She looks back as she opens it, “I’m so sorry.” I tell her, strain in my voice as pain shoots through my head. Amy manages the slightest of nods before running for her life out her door and down the stairs, screaming at the top of her lungs.
I lay on the ground motionless. “Damn you! I had her!” Lancifer screams from my lips. “I was only gonna have some fun with her!”
Silently I lay there, listening to Lancifer go on. You have no chance. I'm free now. This is my body now. I’ll get her soon. Just you wait.
Through Lancifer’s whispers inside my head, I hear trampling boots on hardwood floors coming from downstairs. That isn’t Amy. I get to my feet and run for the stairwell. Cops are flooding through the front door and into the house. Lancifer lets out a boisterous laugh, all you, champ. His laugh continuing to get quitter and quitter in my head till it disappears.
“FREEZE!” one of the cops yells from the middle of the stairs, “Get down on the ground! Now!” I run for the bathroom, slamming the door behind me, and locking it. I pause for a moment at the window. Have to run. Have to run NOW. I run across the wooden beams, between them I can see cops going in the back door. Can’t stop.
I jump at the end of the patio cover, hanging in the air for a second before hitting the ground and tumbling. In one fluid motion I go from a roll to running for the back fence. “Stop! Or we’ll shoot!” comes a yell form behind me. They won’t shoot me. I tell myself. Grabbing for the top of the fence and pulling myself over. A loud crack rings out and a bullet buries itself in the fence where I just was.
I hop fence after fence, running as fast as I can, changing directions constantly until my legs are jelly and my lungs are on fire. Getting as far as I can from the cops before attempting to double back for my car. Hoping that the cops haven’t found it yet. Street by street I make my way back, cop cars patrolling down every one of them with spotlights searching the bushes, the dark of night being my only saving grace as I make it back to my car. Cops are all over the place, news crews are beginning to show up, and all of the neighbors are out trying to figure out what is going on. Somewhere in the mess of people is Amy. My poor Amy.
I walk casually to my car, passing by some gossiping neighbors that could careless with what I'm doing. I open the driver’s side door and hop in, starting the car and driving off without anyone giving me a second look. Goodbye Amy.
CHAPTER ELEVEN.
On my way back to the motel I pass two cop cars, ducking down and holding my breath slightly as they pass by. I know Amy’s house must have had cops watching it and Amy’s screams must have alerted them. I know I can’t blame her. What would I have done in her shoes? But it still hurts.
I park and watch the motel from across the street for a while, paranoid with a knot in my stomach. Its late now, early morning, or the middle of the night depending on how you look at it. Sitting in the car my eyes begin to get heavy, nothing to do now but go to sleep. And face Oliver and Lancifer.
“Fuck it” I sigh, deciding I have sat here long enough. I pull into the motel parking lot, driving slow, cautious, looking all around for anything looking like it could be a cop car. Staring around every corner as if a man with a gun and a badge is going to jump out of the darkness and drag me off to jail.
Jail? This is the first time I ever thought about it. If they get me, I’ll go to jail. Just great. With what lays ahead of me, the possibility of ceasing to exist while my dreams run rampant with my body, jail doesn’t seem so bad.
I walk in the door, pale peach colored walls, a tiny flat screen TV, smell of smoke and that powdery stench that comes with new shits in a shitty hotel. But nothing has changed. It’s safe.
I sit down on the edge of the bed, staring at a mirror on the wall next to the TV, asking myself how the hell I got here. Right here. When did it become normal for me to fight inner demons that can take control of my body. Even worse. They can kill me.
As if on cue, Lancifer appears next to me, the sight of him doesn’t surprise me at all. “Amy really fucked you over didn’t she? Those cops could have killed us! You can really pick’em!” Lancifer says, cackling hysterically, the sound echoes off the walls.
In the mirror I can see my mouth open, Lancifer’s maniacal laugh is coming out. “Nice escape by the way! Nasty jump off the patio cover, must be glad you wont feel that in the morning.” My lips keep moving as Lancifer talks through them. “I’m going to kill her you know. Me and Oliver have a deal, he controls the right half of our body and I control the left, strangling her together.”
I look down at my hands, feeling the numbness begin to sweep over me, warming me from the inside out. Power wells up inside of me. The need to kill on the front of my mind. I’m ready for them.
“While I'm on the subject, how’s your dad?” Lancifer says, ice in his voice. I close my eyes, feeling my body fall straight through the bed into my nightmares.
I open my eyes to the carnival sprawled around me, the ruins of my dream home under my feet. The carnival is dark, lit up only by the blinking lights of the carnival rides.
A legion of clowns surround me, standing at the base of the hill, each one of them armed with a wide array of weapons, shotguns, chainsaws, butcher knives, wooden planks and bats with nails sticking out of them. The clowns flood through the carnival for as far as I can see, each one of them ready to rip me limb from limb.
Lancifer breaks the ranks of the clowns, his cloak down, revealing a jester hat atop his head and white face paint with blood red markings around his eyes and mouth.
Lancifer smiles at me with his needle like teeth. “I see you have been busy.” I tell him, referring to all the clowns. “Had a lot of time in that box. Just sitting, thinking of all the ways to kill you.” I look around again at all the clowns, far to many to take on at once.
“Where is Oliver?” I ask Lancifer, trying to stall so I can focus on the sky above me.
“He is in the ringmasters tent, waiting for me to bring your head to him on a pike.” Lancifer sneers. Above us rain begins to fall, soaking the ground till it’s nothing but mud. Lancifer looks up at the sky, the rain hitting his face. He looks as if it’s the greatest sensation he’s ever had.
“Enjoy it. It’s the closest you will ever get to the real thing.” I say, snapping my fingers and watching the show begin. Acid rains down upon us, burning my skin down to the bone, forcing me to focus on healing myself constantly. “Get him!” Lancifer cries out, clearly in pain but laughing even still. His face nearly burned down to the bone before he heals himself.
The clowns run at me,
each one of them slowly melting down to nothing, limping and slipping on their way up the muddy hill. All around me I make the rubble beneath my feet float and fly through the air at the attacking clowns, skewering them or bashing in their skulls before they can even get close to swinging at me with their weapons.
After the initial charge, bodies little the ground of the hill, allowing just a little traction to the clowns stepping on their fallen brethren. Finally one of the clowns makes it up to me, chainsaw in his hands, revving the blade at full power. The clown swipes at me, missing my stomach narrowly. I take him down with three pencil size shards of glass put right into his head, flying through the air with ease at my thought.
A gunshot rings out behind me and my shoulder is thrown forward, splitting pain rushing through my body before numbness sets in. I turn around to see my attacker just a few feet away, his arms has dissolved to nothing but bone from the acid falling from the sky.
I focus on the buckshot in my shoulder. Slowly it falls out and comes together to make a single bullet, floating idly in the air for just a second then flying through the air to blow the clowns brains out.
I catch a blow from a spiked bat, the tips of the nails driving right into my stomach. The clown pulls it out to swipe at me again and the wounds in my stomach heal immediately. I catch the next blow from the bat, shooting flames down the tips of my fingers and down the bat. The clown goes up in flames and drops to the mud writhing, dead in seconds.
Too many clowns surround me to continue throwing rubble, and I keep the spiked bat in hand, swinging at every clown that gets close. Beating one after another off until a frizzy blue haired clown swings at me with his chainsaw. I duck and watch him bury the rotating blade in another clown’s head just as he shoots off a round form his shotgun, blowing a whole in the blue haired clown’s stomach. Both of them go down not to get up again.
Clowns continue to climb the hill to get to me, slipping and tripping over each other, some eroding to nothing but bone before they can get to me. Even with the corpses of clowns piling up, there is still too many of them.