by Hollis Wynn
Me: Fine. I’ll take her, but keep your phone on. I may need you.
Laken: Don’t worry. I’m here.
Laken: Also, did you call CPS?
Me: Oh yeah. I did and left a message for them to call me at home.
Laken: But you’re not at home . . .
Me: But I called like you told me to. If they can’t get ahold of me, it’s not my problem.
Laken: You’re going to be the death of me, aren’t you?
Me: Thanks for helping. I’ll let you know what the ER says.
“She said to take her to urgent care or the ER. Is there one close?” I ask Penn.
“Miller Creek has an urgent care but I’m not sure if they are open right now. Let me check.”
He pulls his phone out of his pocket and his fingers fly over the screen.
“They’re open until midnight.” He walks to get the stroller and pushes it toward me. “Settle her in here and go get your purse. I’ll load her in the car and we can go.”
“Give me a few minutes and I’ll meet you out front.”
I slide my feet into my shoes and run out the door and to my house. Thankfully, it’s not very far or I’d need a doctor too. I strip out of my shorts and pull on a pair of yoga pants and a sweatshirt. When I get stressed I get cold, and hospitals are generally on the chillier side.
I bring her blanket and fix another bottle just in case we need it. Snatching my keys off the counter, I run outside. Penn has Ainsley settled in her seat and is in the driver’s seat ready to go. I jump in the passenger side and hand him my keys.
He starts the car and backs out before looking at me. “She’s going to be fine, Bella.”
Chapter Ten—BellaRose
“Would you like some coffee?” Penn asks me from the doorway.
I’m curled up in a ball, fully clothed on the bed with Ainsley lying next to me. “What time is it?” I respond, my voice thick with sleep.
He glances down at his watch before commenting. “Almost noon.”
“Oh,” I say, my body bolting to a sitting position.
Then I slump against the headboard. “I’m still so tired.”
“Stress will do that to you. While you slept, I ran to the pharmacy and got her prescriptions filled. They’re in the kitchen.”
My eyes pop open wide and I look at him. “But you don’t have my insurance info.” Shit. She doesn’t have insurance yet.
“Don’t worry about it. They weren’t expensive, so I just waited and picked them up.”
I look down at the beautiful baby sleeping soundly next to me. They gave her some fluids and fever reducer before we came home. Once I got to her to sleep it was almost dawn, so I just laid down with her trying to get some sleep.
“Thank you so much, Penn. But I’m sure you have things you need to do today. We’ll be fine.”
He recoils a bit at my words. Ugh. I didn’t mean to offend him. I just need some rest and to process everything that’s gone on in the last twelve hours.
“Actually, I do. I need to run some errands and do some work at the house. I’ll come by with dinner this evening, so you don’t have to worry about it.”
I nod in response. This man is so kind. Yet here I am a liar who realizes she’s everything she hates.
Between naps, I spend the day cuddling with Ainsley and watching movies in the dark. I’m sure there is more I could do, but I’m emotionally spent. I chose a Julia Roberts marathon as my day’s entertainment. When you’re down, there’s nothing like spending time with people who feel like old friends, so that’s exactly what is happening.
After I wake up from one of my mini naps, I dig my phone out of the pocket of the backpack that’s laying by the couch and notice Lake has called a couple of times. I don’t want to wake Ainsley up, so I lay her in her bed and softly close the door behind me.
I press the button to call Lake and yawn as soon as she picks up.
“Bella. Is everything okay?” she asks.
I nod, even though she can’t see me. “Sorry. I was yawning. She is fine. Just an ear infection.”
“That’s good news. Where did you take her?”
“Penn knew of an urgent care, so we went there. The staff was great and pegged me as a new mom right off the bat, so they were great with us.”
“Wait, Penn went with you?” she asks, a tinge of wonder in her voice.
Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. “Yeah, I was over at his house when it happened.”
“Bella. What aren’t you telling me?” she demands.
I get up and pace the room, wondering how much to tell her. It’s not that I don’t trust her, but finding Ainsley, coupled with the stress of learning so much about my parents and Owen, has me feeling a bit out of sorts.
“We had dinner together last night. He had a box of things from Owen for me and we were just talking while going through it.” I try to play it off like it’s no big deal and hope she believes me. Laken is the closest I have to a sister, and she knows me better than I know myself sometimes.
“Are you sure? I get the feeling there is something you’re not telling me.”
“Things are fine. I’m just worried about Ainsley. Has there been anything else on the news lately?”
“Not much. Kaiser is still paying them to run the spot about the reward. And I did some research. He had a son who was killed in a drive by earlier this year. Add in that he’s got the police department here under his thumb, things are going to get sticky. Based on everything we know, both of his sons are dead, his granddaughter’s mother is dead, and Ainsley is with you.”
“Damn.”
“You can say that again. I’d try to lie low. Lake Rosemary isn’t that far from here and I have no doubt nothing is out of his reach.” She’s right, and that terrifies me. Texas may be large in size, but it seems like everybody knows each other.
“Anyone who is anyone, knows that Kaiser’s diamond business is just a front for his drug business. He is one scary dude, and you don’t want to get mixed up with him.” Lake takes a deep breath and I know she’s as stressed as I am. “Maybe you should take her and drop her off at a fire station or something. The Baby Moses law will keep you from being charged if they catch you.”
“I’m not leaving her. Then she will go into foster care until they figure out who she is and then he will get her back. I can’t do that to her. Though, I should start coming up with a better plan than hiding out the rest of our lives.”
She doesn’t speak for a few moments. “Bella, please be careful. The more I research about Kaiser, the more he seems a lot like Teflon Don. He’s been arrested more times than I can count, but he always skates.”
“I promise I’ll be careful, Lake. I don’t do much here other than my weekly trip to town.”
“All I care about is you. Stay safe and check in with me.” Her voice cracks at the end.
I try to keep the tears at bay when I hear the sadness in her voice. Life is a journey—sometimes it’s straight up the mountain with a dozen switchbacks, sometimes it’s floating on the river. Most of the time it’s something in the middle. Right now, I’m somewhere between the two praying I don’t fall into a pit along the way.
“I will. Don’t worry about me. Go give Liberty some hugs and kisses from Auntie Bella and I’ll check in on you guys soon.”
I end the call and walk straight to the bathroom to take a long, hot shower and allow my body to purge the emotions of the last day. I take my time, allowing the water to flow over my body, washing the stress and anxiety from the last couple of days down the drain.
Wrapping myself in an old beach towel, I pad to the bedroom and quietly pull on some fresh leggings and a shirt. I gather all the dirty clothes from the floor and toss them in the washer before heading to the kitchen for a snack.
Standing in front of the fridge, I hold the door open, allowing the cool air to waft over my body. Staring inside, nothing is calling my name, but my stomach is rumbling, screaming for me to feed it. I allow
the door to close on its own and head to the junk food cabinet, pulling out a container of soft baked cookies with pink frosting.
I lean onto the counter, lost in thought, nibbling on cookies. When I come to, I realize four cookies are way too much for me to eat without some protein. I spin in circles, looking around, trying to come up with a plan for dinner, when I remember Penn said he’d bring something over.
Looking at the clock, I see it’s almost six. I probably need to pick up, so he doesn’t think I’m always a hot mess. It’s not that dirty, but nearly every surface has some sort of baby paraphernalia on it. A few minutes later, I finish tidying up and washing all the bottles, so they’re ready for tonight.
Snuggling with my blanket on the couch, I turn on another movie, allowing myself to get lost in the sappy romance. Then I wake up to a loud knock at the door.
“Bella.” I hear Penn on the other side of the door.
“Shit,” I grumble. I must have fallen asleep again.
I haul myself to my feet, shaking the grogginess from my body, my feet shuffling along the floor. Yes, I sound like an old woman, but in all honesty, I feel like one today.
Pulling the door open, Penn stands there with a covered dish in his hand and a box at his feet. Seeing him standing at my door, the stress melts from my body, and I feel nothing but relief. Until then, I didn’t even realize how much stress I was holding onto.
“Take this please,” he says, handing over the dish with a towel wrapped around it. I take it and prop the door open with my foot while he picks up the box and brings it into the house.
“Smells good.” The scent of tomatoes hit my nose and suddenly I can’t wait to devour it.
“I figured pasta was a good comfort food, so spaghetti, it is.”
I place the dish on the stove and take the box from him, placing it on the end table next to the couch.
“Let’s eat, then we can tackle the rest of the items in this box,” he says, leaning over and kissing me gently on the cheek.
I stand still, not knowing what to do next. I allow my body to take over and the next thing I know, I have wrapped myself around him, arms clasped behind his waist, with my face curled into his chest. A sigh escapes my mouth and I melt into him as he pulls me closer.
We stay in that position for a couple of moments and then he steps back a bit, tipping my chin up gently, allowing our gaze to meet. He leans down, pressing his lips against mine, before covering my mouth with his. His kiss begins slow and drugging, before turning into an urgent need for more.
The moments pass by in a blur and I don’t want to stop, however, this just complicates the situation even more. The last thing Penn needs is someone like me compromising his career because of what I’m into. Stepping back, I glance into his eyes, apologizing without words.
My emotions are entangled with the heat of our bodies, coupled with the stress floating through the air. Turning away from him, trying to collect myself, my eyes land on the box and know the other items in there will be the final straw for my mental and emotional health.
Chapter Eleven—BellaRose
I remember telling my therapist one time that Laken asked why I so anxious now considering I’ve never been anxious or fearful a day in my life?
I stared at her, trying to find the words to explain it—but they wouldn’t come. How do I explain to my best friend that at the most random of times my heart will speed up and it beats too fast. That when it happens, I can’t catch my breath. Or that it strikes at the oddest times—on a phone call, when I’m brushing my teeth, or even when I’m cooking dinner.
But the worst is when I’m sleeping. I wake up shocked and feeling like I need to go run a marathon, except I can’t physically move my body to get out of bed. My feet won’t touch the ground and I’m frozen in place. My heart bangs against the cage in my chest and fully expects it to break open wide, watching it shatter into a thousand pieces as it hits the bed next to me.
Staring at this box, I’m feeling an attack coming on.
I know there is no reason for me to be so stressed, it’s just a box of my parents’ past, but since they’re dead and there is no one around to help me put the pieces together, my heart beats faster than it should be when I’m sitting down, doing nothing.
I get up and grab a bottle of water from the fridge, opening it and drinking as much as I can before I step back and close the door.
“I’m sorry for the way I’m acting,” I say to Penn, who is sitting on the couch. “Stress causes anxiety which makes me a bit more nuts than normal.”
He laughs and I take a deep breath before letting go. “Don’t worry, I have a sister. I get it.”
It’s now or never that I finish going through the secrets that this box holds.
Penn is a good sport. He doesn’t judge me when I cry or randomly blurt out swear words as I try to figure out what the hell is going on while sorting through my past. He also allows me to do it without having to deal with Ainsley. Which means while I’m overcome with emotions relating to my parents and my past, I’m also dealing with the emotions of watching him take care of a child who isn’t his. Hell, she isn’t even mine, but that doesn’t matter. I already love her.
Digging further into the box, I pull out another bank bag. This time it’s full of cash. “Whoa,” I exclaim before pulling out the bills. I flip through them and notice most are twenties, which is probably the best because they won’t draw as much attention as hundreds.
“I’ve never seen this kind of cash before,” I say to Penn.
“That’s nothing for drug dealers. We find large amounts of cash on them. I’d estimate from the size it’s around ten thousand.”
My mouth drops open and I’m certain if I looked in the mirror I’d have bug eyes and a giant mouth.
“Ten thousand dollars.” I say, shock written all over my face.
“Give or take a bit,” he says. “You should count it but let’s see what else is in there.”
There are two large manilla envelopes in the bottom that I pull out and put aside. I’m sure it’s their wills so I’ll need some time to go read and digest them.
Next I pull out a small decorative box, and it rattles as I set it down on the table in front of me. I reach for the scissors and cut the tape that secures the lid. Opening it up, a flood of tears escapes from my eyes.
Jewelry boxes fill the container. One by one, I pick up each of the soft boxes. The velvet is soft in my hands and with each one I open, I smell my mother.
Next I remove a flat green velvet box that holds her pearl necklace and bracelet. I immediately close it and hug it to my chest. I remember Mom wearing these for all the special occasions we had. She never asked for new jewelry from Dad, just pulled out the pearls, and it was a sign to me that the occasion was one to be remembered or celebrated.
I get up from the couch and walk to the kitchen, grabbing a paper towel and wiping my eyes. Leaning on the counter, I glance outside at the beauty surrounding me and take a deep breath.
You can do this, Bella.
Penn doesn’t say anything, just sits quietly beside me, lending his support.
The last box holds a ring with a row of Asscher cut deep blue sapphires between two rows of pave diamonds. This ring was always in my mother’s jewelry box, but she never wore it. There were times I wanted to ask her why, but I couldn’t find the correct time to ask. Now I’ll never know, but considering how beautiful it is, I won’t allow it to just sit in a box anymore.
The last thing I find in the bottom of the large brown box is a couple of old cell phones.
I retrieve them and bust out laughing as I show Penn. “Seriously? These things are so old. I wonder if they even work.”
He chuckles, and I hand them over to him. “I’m sure they work but not sure if we have a way to charge them to even find out.”
“You’re welcome to them if you want them. I have no idea what I’ll do with those old things.”
I’m one of those people who uses
a phone for talking and texting. I don’t love being attached to anything electronic.
“Sure. Maybe Gramps has some old chargers in one of those boxes and we can power them up to see if there are any messages on them.”
I hear Ainsley stir and I move all the stuff that’s surrounding me so I can go check on her when Penn pulls himself to a standing position.
“I got her. You finish up here.”
I place all the items back in the larger box and move it out of the way so I can rifle through the other large envelope.
Opening it, I realize I’m correct. It contains their wills. I remember after their deaths, I spent so much time with the attorney trying to get all the things lined out. Since I was their only child, I inherited everything, which made things much easier. If I’d have had siblings there would have been so much more to deal with. Their lawyer was a friend of Dad’s, so he knew pretty much everything, but it’s still not an easy process.
I skim the first part of my father’s will, noting that it’s all standard language. The end lists all the things that are to go to my mother or in the event of her death before or at the same time as his, will be deeded to me.
Mom’s is very similar in that Dad is her beneficiary unless his death is before or at the same time as hers. I notice nothing out of the ordinary until I open a letter size envelope that was tucked behind the pages. The front of the envelope only has my name on it.
Taking a deep breath, I open the envelope and allow my body to relax into the couch. I hear Penn talking to Ainsley and I know she is okay. Here we go.
Chapter Twelve—BellaRose
My dear BellaRose,
Instead of writing a whole new will, I added this. Mr. Kesson, our attorney will have a copy, though I’ve instructed him to only give it to you if you have this copy.
I’m sorry that we are no longer with you and that you’re having to navigate this thing called life on your own. Know that even if we’re not walking side by side with you, we are with you in spirit.