by Billi Jean
She huffed out a laugh. She couldn’t make Mac do anything. No one could. “Why now, Mac? Why now do you want this?”
“I’ve always wanted it, but I wanted to give you time.”
She glanced back at the shore and saw Ace and Lacey grabbing body boards. Both stopped to kiss once before heading back to the water. They looked like such a happy couple. She knew they’d had some rough patches, but looking at them now, she’d never have guessed it.
“Mandy?”
He snagged her heart, just with his voice, let alone the sincerity she heard. How could he do this to her? How could she ever resist what she’d always wanted? Him, them, a couple just like Lacey and Ace.
“Sugar, come on. Just this. Some fun. Or we can do a whole new set of fun things if you’d like.” He pulled her closer, dipping his head to kiss her quickly and squeezing her butt again.
“Mac!” He tasted like salt water, Mac and beer. He must have had one on the beach. She laughed suddenly, feelings she’d never felt before rising up to the top. Happiness, real, solid happiness, she realised. With Mac.
“Come on, you remember how to have fun, don’t you?”
“Sure, I can have fun. I’m just not used to having fun with you.” She flicked her finger over his chest and he snagged her hand. She grinned at how fast he was. So quick, she worried again at the scar on his face. How had anyone got that close to him?
“Hey, you two, coming with us or what?” Eagle called.
Mac grimaced but said, “Yeah, just getting our gear on.” In a lower tone he turned to her and said, “Sugar, let me make this up to you. Just let me try, okay? That’s all I’m asking. Trust me. You used to trust me.”
“You’re right, Mac,” she whispered, feeling torn up inside. “I used to trust you.”
He winced, not missing her meaning. “I know, I just showed up and made demands, but would you have seen me—alone—any other way?”
She bit her lip and watched him nod.
“Right, you would have avoided me as much as you could. Give me a chance here, Mandy. I’ll show why you can trust me again. You gotta let me though, Mandy. Try. For me. For us.”
He was killing her.
For us. Wasn’t that what she’d always wanted? Was she expected to say no, now?
“Mandy?”
She nodded. For him? For Mac she’d do anything. His expression slowly eased and he gave her a half smile before adjusting her snorkel.
“Good. Come on, let’s have some fun, then maybe get a bite, okay?”
It sounded so normal, so something a couple would say that she couldn’t breathe for a moment, but smiled up at him, not missing the way his big shoulders tensed, then slowly eased. He gave her a killer grin and brushed his knuckles over her jaw.
“Did you put sunscreen on?”
“Geesh, Mac, I am all grown up.”
“Yeah, thank God for that, sugar.” His husky whisper made her toes curl. Did he realise how close she was to pulling him under for a whole bunch of fun things that had nothing to do with snorkelling?
Chapter Four
“Mandy!” Lacey’s happy shout had her turning to spot her friend diving under a blue wave, Katya a second beyond her. Both girls broke the clear surface near her with big grins. They’d spent the day out on the water, her and Mac, with only a small break for tacos before Lacey had wanted to come out again. She’d known Mac wanted to join Mandy but Ace had given him a subtle sign or something and he’d sat with the guys instead.
“God, this place is beautiful,” Lacey called above the sound of waves.
“Beautiful isn’t even the right word. I told Eagle we needed to come here a few times a year.” Katya pushed her amazing red hair off her face and grinned. “He wasn’t so into the idea until I took him swimming last night.”
Lacey laughed and nodded. “Ace felt the same way after our time in the hot tub.”
God, was everyone getting laid?
“So, Mandy…” Lacey swam closer and Mandy knew her best friend knew Mac had kissed her. Hopefully she didn’t know Mandy had almost jumped him. “Mac. I see you two have talked…”
“Oh, stop fishing. Spill it, sister, that man is intense over you. I mean, damn, I thought Eagle was bad. Mac is downright frightening about you,” Katya said.
“What? How?” Frightening? Mac was many things, hot, handsome, sexy, but frightening?
Katya rolled her eyes and bobbed closer. “Well, let’s see, he practically—heck, not practically, he did jump Lacey the moment he heard she knew where you were. He even got her to spill your room number.”
Lacey smiled at her, lifting a sarcastic eyebrow at Mandy’s fake frown. “I knew you were to blame for that.”
“Was it bad? You two looked like you’d talked. You snorkelled, even had a meal without anyone suffering bodily harm,” Lacey said with a smile that slowly faded to serious. “I’ve never seen him so upset, except for when you left. He came to my house, did I tell you? It was almost like he’d been drinking, but he didn’t slur his words and when I tried to tell him to come back when he was sober, Geez did he lose his cool.”
Mandy stared at Lacey, waiting for more clues, but Lacey simply brushed her wet hair off her face and squinted at the shore before asking, “Why did you leave, Mandy? I know it was about Mac, but, I mean, was that all?”
Mandy angled so she could see the shore. Mac was there, clearly outlined at the table with the guys enjoying a beer while the girls swam.
“Lacey, it was complicated, but I need to talk to Mac, I think, and you and Ace. All of you, I guess.”
Lacey frowned and glanced over at Katya. Both women moved closer. “Tell us first, Mandy. Whatever happened, you can tell us.”
Fear suddenly rose up, silencing her. Tell anyone and I’ll not just kill you and him, but them as well.
How could he do that? Even now, she knew men were around to watch that no one got near Lacey, not with the Russian mob after her still. Ace was serious about her safety. She could count at least six men near them that had to be security, but was one of them her attacker?
“Come on, I want to swim a bit farther out,” she said, casting a glance around them at the few people bobbing along the waves. Both women nodded, following her lead. The few people around them disappeared as they broke into deeper water. “Here, this is good, okay?”
“Mandy, what happened? What are you afraid of?” Lacey asked, swimming so that they were shoulder to shoulder.
“I was attacked—not like you, not by some mafia nutcase, but by some lunatic that swore he’d kill me, Mac and anyone else I told.”
“What? Oh my God, Mandy!”
“Raped, Mandy?” Katya asked. Her green eyes shimmered, full of knowledge that stabbed at Mandy’s heart. Katya had seen pain. So had Lacey. Had they all been hurt? Is that what drew them to such strong men?
Lacey caught her arm. “Mandy? Oh, God, were you—”
“Shh, Lacey,” Katya whispered, cutting Lacey off mid-question.
“No, no, not raped, not really, but… He threatened to kill me, and anyone I told.”
“Not really?” Lacey demanded. “How can you be not really raped? When, Mandy? Why are we out here and not nearer to the men?”
Lacey bumped her in the water and they all looked to shore.
Mac was standing now, his arms folded across his chest looking tall and strong. Ace said something to him and he turned and sat again, slouching down in his chair but not taking his gaze off the ocean—and Mandy.
“Shit, you think—” Lacey broke off when a wave hit them all, tossing them under with a great deal of force. When she broke surface again, Lacey was up and Katya bobbed up a second later next to them.
“You think it was one of the guys.” Katya brushed her red hair off her face. “Why?”
“He knew things, things about Mac and about me.”
They all looked back to shore. What would Mac say if she told him? Would he be able to handle that she had left instead of comi
ng to him, telling him?
“We have to tell the guys,” Lacey said suddenly. “If this guy is out there, we need to know.”
“I’m sorry, Lacey, I shouldn’t have come.”
“Don’t say that, Mandy. We’re friends. This jerk has taken you out of my life for long enough, and out of Mac’s, huh?” Lacey speared her with a knowing look. “He did more, didn’t he? Then the stupid words… Mac did more, didn’t he? That’s why you didn’t go to him.”
“Yeah, he did.” Mandy swallowed past the painful admission.
Both women swam next to her for a while in silence. The sun sank slowly, looking like some giant orange cookie dipped in an enormous glass of milk.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Katya murmured.
“Yeah, it’s amazing here,” she offered.
“You know, Mandy, men, well, men can change. It happens. Whatever he did, five years seems to have given him enough time to regret it, huh?” Katya asked.
Mandy stared over at Katya’s concerned expression and nodded hesitantly.
“We’ll tell the men later, tonight, okay?” Katya asked.
“Yeah, we should. Soon, but after we go dancing should be okay, don’t you think?” she asked.
She still felt strongly that she should have told Mac earlier. First thing, even, but she didn’t want to ruin this slice of paradise for any of them.
“Tonight will be soon enough and stop looking so worried. You’re not ruining my wedding. This was all Ace’s idea and I know he thinks this thrills me, but I could have been just as happy marrying him back at the ranch.”
“I hope nothing bad happens because of me, Lacey. You’ve been through enough,” she said, feeling worse instead of better at Lacey’s admission. Lacey was always putting herself last.
“Nothing bad will happen because of you. If something bad happens, because that sicko tries to hurt you, it’s his fault. Mac will protect you, Ace will protect me, and Eagle will definitely protect Katya.”
They shared a smile at that, but Lacey caught her doubtful expression over Katya’s head and gave her a warm squeeze again on her hand. “Let’s swim back before they come out here to break up our fun.”
“With their idea of fun.” Katya laughed. “And seriously, don’t worry, Mandy, we’ll tell them, then we’ll have to do whatever they think is best, but that’s okay, too, right? They are the best of the best, right?”
“Yes”—Lacey laughed—“that’s why they need us, to keep them in line.” Lacey grinned and the next second dived under the waves. Mandy followed.
Did Mac regret cheating on her? She believed him when he’d said he regretted saying the things he had to her that night. And he was right, she should have stayed to talk to him and she would have—if other things hadn’t stopped her. Now, when she had told him about those other things, would he still want her?
Mac watched Mandy laughing with Lacey and Katya in the surf and clenched his fist until his short nails dug into his palm.
Mandy was wearing a bikini. A scrap of white material the size of his fist covered her ass while both of her rounded cheeks peeked at him. It wasn’t a string bikini like Lacey had on, but for some damn reason the scrap of white accentuated the curves of her ass more than if she’d just worn a damn string bikini. The top was no better. It was two small triangles attached to an inch band under her breasts and tied in the back and behind her neck. A halter-top, Lacey had called it. Said she had a matching one.
Mac didn’t give a shit what Lacey wore. Ace could deal with that. He didn’t want any other guy enjoying Mandy’s generous breasts and those ass cheeks. In her room, it’d been bad enough, but when he’d caught on that she’d be walking around the beach like that, he’d nearly broken a tooth keeping his mouth shut.
He was a jealous guy. He’d always been that way with her. He’d hated the sight of her talking to other men, laughing with the guys on the team. Now he had to sit here and watch other men checking her out because he’d not gone out there with her, not made a claim on her so that the bastards knew she was with him.
She had tan lines too. This meant…she wore that damn suit around a lot. A pulse on his temple throbbed. She’d made him fess up, though, hadn’t she? He shifted in his chair, smiling into his hand at the way she’d managed him. He had been jealous, but the way she’d looked at him, he’d realised then that she did still care. She cared, and from there he’d build on it, until he could get rid of that doubt and fear in her eyes.
“Look, you guys, can you take your eyes off your women for ten seconds?”
Mac shot Dare a look for the grumble, but felt a surge of something warm in his chest at hearing ‘your women’. How unreal to think she was a mere fifty feet from him. It felt like miles. Turning from watching her dip under a wave and bob back up laughing, he looked over at Daren Scott, known as Dare by the team. The easy-going bastard shot an eyebrow up at his glare. Dare looked one hundred per cent better than he had six months ago after being buried alive. Now his cocky grin revealed two devilish dimples that never failed with the women.
“Damn, man, you’re all so whipped I’m surprised you can sit and enjoy a brew.”
Ace speared Dare with a look, then shrugged and slouched down farther in his beach chair. Mac didn’t say anything. Eagle grunted, clearly wanting to be out with his sharp little redhead but manning it up with him and Ace.
“You wouldn’t get it, dickhead,” Ace said, surprising Mac. Not with the name-calling, that was standard protocol. They used the name-calling the way most used a handshake or a slap on the shoulder.
Dare settled back with his Corona, and drank half the bottle before pointing it at the beach, indicating all the barely clothed women walking around in bikinis. “Oh, I get it. Often, too.”
Ace snorted. “Yeah? How’s that working for you?”
Mac took his eyes off Mandy long enough to see Dare grimace and chuckle. “It’s working fine, Ace.”
“A different one each night, huh?” Ace pushed.
Dare scratched his eyebrow and shrugged. “Yeah, sure, no ties that bind, you know? I mean, hell, you guys, you’re all going to be married—yeah, you too, you stupid fucker.” He tipped his bottle at Mac and shook his head. “You never would do the strip with me anyway, damn near been married to that little bit since we first met back in boot camp. When did you first know Mandy was it for you, man?”
“Ten years ago, probably before that,” Mac admitted. He didn’t usually share, but Mandy had him all tied up in knots. “First time I saw her.”
“Oh sure, you got drunk months ago and told me how you first met Mandy during a lightning storm under a metal slide,” Daren teased. “You never did tell me why you sat next to her, though. Are you telling me you knew then? When you were, what, fifteen and she was, damn, like ten?”
“I didn’t just meet Mandy that day,” Mac replied defensively. “I met her brother too. But no, not that night. It wasn’t until I got back from boot camp. Then I knew.”
“Damn, man.” Ace smirked . “She was, what, like sixteen?”
“I didn’t do shit about it, Ace. Fuck, I’m not like that. I just—” He broke off. How could he explain it to them when he simply knew? Just knew she was all he ever wanted. She knew him. They simply fit. “I just knew that every woman I fucked, up until that point, was merely a replacement for Mandy. Every single one fell short, too.”
“You lived with Rob and Mandy, didn’t you?” Daren asked.
“Yeah, they took me in. I stayed on base, though, after I knew, you know? But I was on my own early. What else do you want?”
Daren shrugged, drank his beer, and turned to watch the surf.
“Damn, man, that’s even before I hit the road,” Eagle offered up. “My old man was a piece of work, like Sarge, I heard. Tazz used to talk about his dad when he got drunk. Mean motherfucker, huh?”
“Yeah, he was a piece of work,” Mac agreed.
“And you and Tazz knocked him around a bit?” Ace guessed.
“Something like that.” Mac didn’t like talking about Sarge. The bastard was responsible for a hell of a lot. Mandy had been a shy, insecure child who’d grown into a young woman unsure of herself because of the mean shit Sarge had done to her.
“Damn, that’s like forever, man. I mean, you’ve waited for her for how long and now, what? You’re going to tie the knot?” Daren demanded, then went on before Mac could say anything. “But damn, think about it, would you? The same woman, morning, noon, and night? For years.” He grimaced, finished off his beer, and sat it down on the table already reaching for his next one in the cooler they’d sneaked out under the table. “Not me. Don’t get it.”
Ace crossed his arms, eyes on Lacey diving through the waves next to Mandy and surfacing with a laughing toss of her head. She stood and waved at Ace, smile growing when he sat up and set his beer down, then stood, clearly going to join her.
“You won’t get it either. Not until it happens to you. Then it’s gonna be black and white. Clear as day,” Ace told him. “You’ll no longer be alone, no longer have to keep all that darkness and death inside you, swallowing you up piece by piece. You’ll be part of something else, something better.”
Eagle nodded as if he got that. “And then? Shit, then you’ll learn fear, man. And you’ll realise, no matter how brave you are, or thought you were, nothing scares you more than losing that one person you never thought you wanted. Fucking needed. I wake up sweating bricks just because Kat wants a baby. A baby. Can you believe that tiny woman wants to have a baby? My baby.” Eagle stood and ran a hand through his shaggy blond hair, a smile on his mug. “Yeah, I’m holding off on that one for a bit longer.”
A baby. Mac’s eyes shot to Mandy and his throat tightened up. Eagle had it right, that was some scary shit. But Ace had nailed it. Mandy made the darkness eating at him ease.
He stood and Dare groaned, settling back in his seat with a confused frown. “Just don’t see the appeal, man, just don’t get it.”
“Don’t worry, you won’t have to. Who’d want your sorry ass anyway?” Mac asked, smacking him on the back.